The sound of Silica's cannon booms as I run into the woods. Bullets of sweat travel down my forehead as I shift through the trunks. If my feet could run as fast as my heart is racing, then I would be far away from trouble. As my pace quickens, I remove a knife from the sash that lays across my chest. My head is a lot better than it was, but it still hinders me from running at my full capability. The sheer confusion at camp can be heard accompanied by the ordering voice of Ripley, "Get her!"
The snapping of sticks and crunching of fallen leaves from behind tells me that I am being chased. If I had to guess I have a decent lead on them, but I did not expect them to immediately begin trailing me. Especially with Lux, I thought the sight of a knife imbedded into the skull of his district partner would elicit enough shock to delay the immediate need to avenge her. Panic begins to set in as they begin to sound closer, begging my legs to move faster. The gap between me and the others is closing faster than I'd like to admit, so I need to change my game plan fast. I could turn around and face them because I have knives now. However, at best I could take out two of them before one of the others take me down. Since I don't know what to believe and Malo hasn't been proven innocent, I am counting him as one of them.
As long as I keep up my pace, a sharp right could get me to the swamp in less than a minute. These woods are too open, too revealing for someone trying to get away. Although the swamp is dangerous, it is low-key and there are plenty of rock ledges and trees for hiding. Does that level out the number of non-human predators that rest in the hanging trees and gloomy water? I cannot afford to ponder on what to do anymore so I just do it and bolt to my right.
Pretty quickly the coarse dirt that I run on top of turns into muddy moss that softens my footsteps. Darkness makes it difficult to see, the moon only allowing partial vision. In my attempt to remain low to the ground, I stumble over some kind of plant as I travel through the swamp. I quickly regain my footing as I remember Alanis' arm and begin to fear that the same type of snake is waiting for me to get close enough to strike. I have no choice but to hope for the best when it comes to random mutations. Eventually, a tree sticks out that is large enough for me to hide behind; I quickly throw myself around it and sink to the roots. I am hidden by the trunk, but am still worried that it will not be enough to keep me unnoticed.
My heart is palpitating, pulsing blood through every vessel. I finally did it, killed someone. The fake nice act has completely worn off Lux as the nearby woods are filled with his curses. It is amazing how quickly someone can turn when their survival is threatened. I think back to the welcoming hug that he gave me once I arrived at camp, and then how bubbly he was in his interview with Caesar Flickerman. If I hadn't had my revelation, would I have acted this way too? So eager to get my knives bloody and gain another kill? The shuffling of feet that I hear throughout the woods guides me back to my current reality.
They have been searching for a while, sometimes traveling near me but never close enough for me to move my hiding spot. Authentic panic does not actually consume me until the beams of flashlights begin to search the terrain. The Careers have split up and are hunting me down. They scan the ground for me with their lights, making sure to check every inch. They taunt me as well, "Come out Carmen!" "If you want a fair fight, let's have it!" Random beams of light shine on the tree that I hide behind, barely missing me. I hold a knife ready to throw in my right hand and hug the yellow backpack to my chest in order to prevent it from dangling out into the view of the Careers.
I believe Lux is the furthest away as he shouts for me deep in the woods, a decent walk away from my spot in the swamp. However, I hear a pair of footsteps mushing around my location. While they are split up, I consider darting out in the open with my knives and trying to take down whoever it may be. That is too risky though because it is night, and I would be banking on a lucky throw in the right direction. Plus, I would not know who I am aiming for and the idea of my knife hitting Malo still seems wrong. They have flashlights which puts me at a huge disadvantage. In less than a minute, they could take me out. My best bet is to sit here and pray that I am passed by. Shafts of light travel around me, bouncing off the tree periodically. The sound of movement begins to get louder, and I try to slow my breathing down in an attempt to disappear. However, all of my efforts dissipate as the beam from a flashlight shines directly at me, exploiting my whereabouts.
My head jolts to the side, blinded by the light as my reflexes cause my arm to raise. Before I can send a knife flying out in front of me, the beam passes me by and I hear Malo's voice, "She's not here."
Malo stands in front of me for a moment, shining the light down at his boots. The light from the flashlight travels up his body and allows me to see him as my fists clench. He stands above me, momentarily looking down at me. We lock eyes before he walks back in the direction that he came from, keeping the shine away from me. I am having a hard time reading his body language, and an even harder time comprehending his reasoning. "She is too smart to venture out into the swamp, it is too risky looking for her at night in here. I don't want to end up like Alanis," the voice of Malo explains.
"Let's stick with the others and take her down as a group," Ripley snarls back at him, the anger in his voice fuming.
Malo and Ripley head back towards the forest and leave me alone with the chorus of toads that croak harmonies. I am in complete shock and struggle to comprehend what just happened. He saw me, he had to of. The light was literally gleaming in my face, and now he is directing the others to search away from me? Whose side is Malo on? Why is he protecting me? I just weakened his alliance, he probably lost a few betters in the Capitol because of this. In a very passive way, he has saved me. The Malo that I knew in the Capitol is still here with me in the arena. The puzzle that is Malo Revel keeps proving harder and harder to solve. My heart warms for a second, but I quickly extinguish whatever feelings that arise.
I need to take advantage of this time because every second away from the Careers is a blessed one that I cannot take for granted. I need to get away, and that I do. It takes me about an hour to avoid alerting other tributes of my location, but eventually, I find my way out of the swamp and into a part of the woods that is quiet. Traveling through the dark is ominous, but I suppose that fits the theme of the night. I have my first kill, Silica, a Career who was tied for the highest training score this year. Does this even count as my first kill though? I suppose in the complex of the Games, yes. However, this is my second. I will never forget the adrenaline that I felt after my first, a sickening but accomplishing feeling. I shake my head, trying to free myself from the morbid thought that murdering someone could feel justified. Deco Talli was trying to murder me, so I consider that self-defense. Silica was planning on murdering me but had not tried yet. Killing her was still self-defense though, right? One could argue that any kill made within the Hunger Games is self-defense because for me to survive they all need to be dead.
After searching for a while I find a decent place to lay for the night. A ditch in the ground that would hide me from anyone roaming the area. In order to see me, you'd have to come pretty close to the ditch which I have disguised with some fallen tree branches. I stare into the night sky, connecting the stars for a while. I imagine the sheer shock that the other tributes will feel once Silica's face appears in the sky tomorrow night. I bet everyone in the Capitol is talking about me, all kinds of buzz around my name. Maybe this will even help with my sponsors? The two steps back I made when I let Lark run away from me, I made up the next morning by allying with him. Now, I'm one more step ahead after killing Silica, and then add another step for surviving the aftermath. My brain eventually tires out and I drift off, replaying the night until I slumber.
The next morning, I cannot get Malo off my mind. The rush from last night kept me sidetracked enough to not deal with the thought of him. I begin to feel guilty because the bare minimum that he deserves is my thoughts. I eat a pack of crackers from my backpack, staring into a tree in the distance, getting lost in the bark. As I chew, I create a list of things that Malo has done for me. Held me twice, once during the interviews and then when we slept together on the eve of the arena. Comforted me countless times. Openly shared his thoughts with me during training about the dynamics of the other tributes. Handed me a dagger that I used to kill his ally. Carried me to the Career camp when I was weak. Supplied me with medicine that I desperately needed. Kept my hiding place secret when I was being hunted. That is all that I can recall at the moment, but I am positive that the list goes on.
Now, I think about the times that he has wronged me. It takes me a minute, but the only thing I can think of is the tiff we had in the Capitol. It wasn't even that bad, and I definitely overreacted because of everything that was going on. If I remember correctly, all he said was that I would need his help in the arena which was proven true last night. If Malo hadn't led Ripley in the opposite direction, I'm not sure how I would have survived that encounter. I become flustered, annoyed that I had mistrusted him for so long. It is now clear to me that there is no way that he partook in the jabberjay conversation that I overheard. If he wanted me dead, I would not be alive right now.
I think of all the times that I withheld information from him. I literally agreed to murder him, and fully planned on doing it to appease Brutus and make it back to my mother. I have been doubting his loyalty since the moment I met him. Even in this moment, I am having trouble believing that he is on my side. What is wrong with me? He can only prove himself so many times. I am the one who he should be wary of, not the other way around. I feel a pit in my stomach as I recollect how I've treated him, old feelings beginning to resurface. Feelings of interest. I nibble on a few more crackers and then take a sip from my water bottle, washing down my breakfast.
The day is quite uneventful, and I stay hidden in the ditch for most of it. I tend to my wound every few hours, keeping it lubricated with the medicine. This concoction has to be handcrafted in the lab of the Capitol because I can already feel my scalp growing back the skin that it once lost. I have had nothing more than a light headache that comes in passing ever since I've been using the medicine. A cannon goes off mid-day, and I assume the Careers are back into the swing of things. I cannot help myself from worrying that they turned on Malo because of his connection to me. Though I write this off as paranoia, it is possible that the cannon I heard belongs to him. He seemed pretty believable when he was on the search to murder me last night. Still, the thought that Malo could have gone down for my actions causes me to stress eat a ruby red apple from my pack. Then I think about the possibility that Lark was being too loud in the jabberjay forest, luring someone to attack him. Oddly enough I am not worried about Lark, he may be small, but he is a survivor.
I consider traveling over to the jabberjay forest and reconnecting with my little ally, but decide against it for the day. I should probably rest up and fully recharge before throwing myself back out into the arena. For the rest of the day, I stay low in my ditch, knives ready to throw at anyone who comes close to me. The element of surprise would have them on the ground in only a few seconds, then I would run over to them and end their suffering. I vow to myself today that I will try my best to kill gracefully, with as little pain as possible. My father would roll his eyes if he heard me say that. My mother would smile. The thought of her and my guilt from Malo teams up to create waterworks. For the first time in the arena I cry, but I try to play it off like I am sleeping. Buried in the ditch, I place the backpack on top of my head with hopes that the cameras cannot focus on me. I weep quietly, scared that my sponsors will be affected if I am shown in such a vulnerable state.
When night falls I listen to the hoots of owls until the anthem begins to play. Silica's face appears, and I weirdly feel ashamed. She was a human being that did not deserve to die. President Snow is to blame, for all of this though. The blood of every dead tribute is on his hands, regardless of who was holding the weapon. I shake him from my thoughts and prepare for the next face, as there was a cannon earlier. I feel a pit in my stomach that fades away after the girl from District Seven is shown. The brown hair in her picture, causing me to flashback to a memory of her at the camouflage station in the training room. That leaves eleven of us in the arena, all fighting for the same crown. I take inventory of the tributes left: Lux from District One, Malo and myself from Two, Ripley and Alanis from Four, both from Six, Jaws from Seven, and then Ivy and Lark from Eleven. I'm still missing one, oh yeah, the girl from Ten. I almost forgot about her again. In fact, I have no memory of how she looks at all. I wonder if she is a part of that group of three. Or maybe the girl from Seven was, and they were ambushed by the Careers earlier today, losing a number. I have no idea, nor do I care right now. I lay back down in my ditch and wonder what tomorrow will bring my way. Eventually, sleep comes that allows my dreams of Malo to play out.
Day Five, and still eleven of us in the arena unless I slept through a cannon. I feel like that is a lot of tributes considering how long we have been here. The arena seems bigger this year than in previous years though, so I assume that has a lot to do with the steady pace of killings. I get myself up and stretch out in the open, the air feeling a bit cooler than usual. If I were to guess I would say that it was a few hours before noon, and I should probably get on the move. I eat an apple, leaving four of them still in the backpack with around a dozen packs of crackers. I contemplate what direction to head in and finalize on the jabberjay forest with hopes of reuniting with Lark. He may be hanging out by the waterfall like before, or I might even hear him calling out fake gameplans for the birds to spread. I am also quite curious to know if the jabberjays have any new information leaks for me, so I head on my way.
It takes me a few wrong turns to get on the right path, picking up subtle landmarks that I have learned over the past few days. I am not too worried, because worst-case scenario I will head inward and get back on track by using the cornucopia as a compass. That is obviously a last-ditch effort, as it is dangerous to be in such an open land. As I walk, I pause every few moments and kick into the dirt, causing it to loosen. I do this enough to create a trail of lowkey holes in the ground that I can use later to track my way around the arena.
I examine my set of throwing knives in the daylight, casually practicing with them on passing trees. Sharp and weighted just right, not too light or heavy. They fling from my fingers with such grace, along with precision. I have a feeling that my sponsors will rise once the Capitol sees me in combat with them. I think back to the seven that I received in training and wonder how much that has hindered me. I imagine that Brutus has been putting in work trying to rebuild my image as the barbaric girl from District Two. Killing a Career is not something that ever goes unnoticed back at home. I remember last year when Johanna Mason killed the girl from District Four, everyone was talking about it. That is when she started getting sponsored, and if I remember correctly, she had a very low training score herself. I am pretty sure that was strategic on her end though, which is not the case for me. Nonetheless, I took down a contender and that can only help my image.
In the distance, I begin to see the jabberjay forest with wild vegetation that begins to coat the ground. The trees are just as tall as I remember, with jabberjays that decorate the piney branches. I make my way into the forest and try my best to stay low-profile as I wander through. I almost softly call out for Lark, but then stop myself, remembering when he shushed me for speaking the other day. If there is anyone in the jabberjay forest with me then I would be revealed as a possible enemy in the area. The jabberjays flutter above, and one floats down onto a bush at my knees and mimics my voice, "We can help each other."
Another bird high up in the branches responds to the bird with Lark's voice, "What do you want?" I can hear the same terror in his voice that reminds me that I was with Lark at this moment.
I clear my conscience, knowing that this conversation did happen. Any wild thought that I had that would insist that these jabberjays created fake conversations with tributes' voices to make things interesting, just diminished. There was definitely a plan to kill me, and I was able to strike first. I wonder how many people have heard this conversation though, learning that Lark and I are allies. Maybe the Careers are somewhere in these woods and are now hunting down Lark just as vigorously as I am, the question is: who will find him first?
I roam the forest for a bit longer and come across the waterfall that Lark and I met at. I suppose that is what I will call it. I did tackle him down, but my intentions were good. I refill my water bottle with fresh spring water that travels down the rocks. Having been in a ditch for the past day, I also take the time to rinse my skin. The dirt flows off into the stream and I am about to take another sip when I hear a jabberjay begin to speak.
"We can ambush them and maybe take another one of them out for good," says the familiar voice of a girl.
I stand up and listen closely, awaiting the jabberjay to drop more breadcrumbs of intel. I am having trouble placing who the voice belongs to, but I have definitely heard it before.
"We can keep going this way, but we are going to need food. My stomach cannot take the mushrooms anymore," says another. These voices are the ones from the girls at the cornucopia on the first night. The group of three, that is the conversation that I am hearing. I keen my ears to my surroundings and hear the first girls' voice say, "Suck it up, they're not that bad." I then realize that this conversation is not coming from jabberjays. This dialogue is coming straight from the mouths of tributes in the arena.
I drop to the ground and remain low, practically crawling over in the direction of the voices. I take a knife out from my sash and clutch it in my hand. Another comment is made by one of the girls, and I begin to wonder if the boy that I heard is with them or not. Possibly it was the District Eight boy and he was taken down? Another comment is made that was too soft for me to understand, but I use it as a guide and slowly head in that direction. I can see the outlines of three bodies through the brush that I hide behind. I maneuver over to a wall of vines that keeps me hidden from the group.
Three tributes, all huddled around in a natural clearing within the woods. Ivy stands with her back facing me, I know it is her because she is the only tribute in this arena with that hairstyle. Poufy buns that poke upward out of her scalp. She is looking down at the boy and girl from District Six who share seats on a rock. I am careful to keep my positioning discreet, waiting for them to speak again. Are they talking about the Careers? I have a clear shot at Ivy and could kill her right now if I wanted to. Lark would probably be so upset with me though, so I'd rather take out one of the others if that's my goal. The boy is holding some sort of short spear in his hands, and the girls seem to be unarmed. I consider taking out all three of them until Ivy speaks again, "I wonder how the girl from District One died? She was the scariest one."
Unthreatened by the group, I make a ballsy move. Adrenaline pumps through my veins as I step out from the brush and reveal myself, "I killed her, and if I wanted to kill you three then you'd be dead too." Ivy turns in my direction full of fear, and the others are startled.
"I can help you guys find the rest of them."