I haven't heard from him all week, and this is the longest i've gone without any contact from him. And the longest i've gone without feeling any sort of happiness. I've grown accustomed to the pit in my stomach, I wake up in the empty bed and it's the first thing i feel. Of course i cried myself to sleep for a few days, his smell was everywhere. Especially on his side of the bed, i couldn't take it anymore that i sprayed air freshner all over his things until it burned through my nose just so i won't feel him anymore.
Adam's gone so far as to send a guy to pick up his stuff while i was at work since he has the other key. Coming home to find his side of the closet empty felt like i was punched in the gut, all there was - was a note on the counter, stating his stuff's been taken.
Thankfully, i've been at work all week, so the emptiness in my heart wasn't so shallow. I purposely stayed back past working hours, hounding for things to do so i didn't have to go back. And with how much i've been trying to distract myself, i barely got to see the Kings, let alone head to the Aster building.
"M-maybe he was toxic for me, this-this whole relationship was toxic" i spoke through chewing on my bagel, having finally met the girls on my lunch break, Edyth definitely got sick of seeing my face in the office every second of the day, she demanded that i get out for an hour and 'take a breather'. I know she sensed something, she's sharp like that.
"God you're so stupid, how did you land a job? or a degree?" whinged rhiannon, sipping on her coffee. Of course i refused to meet in the Kings room, which both the girls' understood, so here we are in a cafe across the street from Tamlin. "What?"
Shaking her head aggressively, she slammed her prada glasses on the table, eyeing me intently, "So you two fought and suddenly it's toxic?"
I looked around the cafe, slumping my head down, i sighed deeply. I've been confused and a mess all week, it's a surprise my puffy eyes finally went down, it started to grow on me a bit.
"Rhiannon we broke up like twice - every time something happened we just end things" Exhaling deeply, i took a large bite from my bagel, willing away the lump in my throat. Not today bitch, i am not crying today, like ew gross.
"If you two are toxic then Edward and i are the epitome of it" Her coffin shaped black painted nails were clicking atop the table, sounds of cars driving by filling the air. "The happiest you two have ever been - were with each other, and yeah couples fight it's not always rainbows and butterflies, that's unrealistic"
"Then- then why-"
"It's not that simple honey" Erika's sweet melodic voice comforted me, the warm aroma of her tea lingering around my nose. "It's been killing him to apart from you, we've seen it all week"
"THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE WE OVER?" frustration overcoming me, i internally groaned.
The two girls sighed, sharing a look before turning to face me, "He's doing it for you" Rhiannon's voice was stern, as if she was delivering a national secret. Both girl's staring at me with intent, the surroundings blurred, all outside noise fade in the distance. "I never fucking asked-"
"Antheia he's scared"
My brows furrowed, trying to read Rhiannon's expression, i studied her gaze. "I finally got around to talk to him - he's literally horrified"
"About what?"
"Himself" she sighed. I shook my head, confused, trying to make sense of this conversation. "He's scared that he's turned into his father, or already has - and that he's just going to end up repeating his mistakes and hurting you over and over again" rhi licked her bottom lip, exhaling deeply, "like his mom has, her whole life"
The pit in my stomach grew wide, my heart aggressively ache, i slapped my palms on my face, groaning, shutting my eyes tightly to will away any tears to glide down my cheek.
"He was so mad at himself about what happened in the club, he's not forgiving himself for it, he really was gonna kill that guy - like literal homicide" her eyes widened as she spoke.
I couldn't form any coherent sentence in my head, let alone to speak. "He loves you so much he's scared he's going to hurt you - he won't be able to live with himself" Erika chimed in, taking a sip of her tea.
Why not say these to me? why not come to me about it? I would've comforted him, in the very least tell him he's wrong about everything, "He's just a guy who's so in love with you...that he was prepared to do what hurts like shit... thinking it's what's best for you"
The bustling of the streets and the cars grew louder, breaking me from my thoughts and stopping me from entering my bubble. "Now do i think he was stupid to break up? Absolutely" Rhi shook her head, her sleek brown hair dance behind her with the wind, as if it was a shampoo commercial. "But he's just human, like the rest of us" grabbing her glasses to place it atop her head, she continued, "we all make mistakes, he thought he's protecting you, doing what's best for you"
"Honestly if you asked him to buy you the moon? He'd call up NASA and threaten to hand it over" Erika chuckled, prompting us to giggle along side her. He does go over the top, hearing them speak about him is making my heart ache, missing him immensely. I can remember the time i told him i liked strawberry pop tarts, just to find out he's bought three big boxes full of it the next day. I refused to tell him something i liked just for the fear of finding our cabinets stacked with it.
"W-what do i do? he won't talk to me" i stuttered, helplessness wash over me.
The girls shared a look once more, "We'll figure something out, i might have an idea" Erika smirked, the scarf tied around her hair, swayed as she moved on her seat.
.•° ✿ °•.
"Now what's Shrek and Donkey doing in my house?" I watched as Liam and Edward zoom inside the apartment, handing me a bag of takeout and plopping down on the couch, meanwhile Edward rake through my fridge. "We brought Tacos" he mumbled, his face almost inside the cooler.
"Nothing - we came to keep you company" Liam beamed, hand resting behind his head, he switched on the TV.
"Uhh excuse me don't touch that" I pointed at Edward who's seemingly found my soda can, popping it open as he walked up to sit next to Liam. Great, this is great.
"No seriously, what the fuck are you two idiots doing here" I stood in front of the Tv to get their attention, not paying heed to their protests. My hands on my hips as i watched the brain dead Tweedledee and Tweedledum invade my couch, their feet up on the coffee table and attempting to watch Charlie's Angels. "MOVE I CAN'T SEE LUCY" Edward yelled, gulping down the pepsi as if it were water.
It was just yesterday that i met the girls for lunch, and i was simply hoping for a early night in after work, wanting to wallow in my misery on the bathtub as if i was in a music video and crawl in between the sheets. Sighing, "I'm calling Rhiannon"
I walked over to the counter to grab my phone, "The girls told us to come over" Liam called out for me, his face not peeling from the screen, the two intently watching the slow mo running. "What?-"
"They told us to keep you company today, Rhi's in a meeting and Erika is busy...so we came over"
I tilted my head, watching the two completely distracted by the movie playing in front of them, "I-i'm fine, you guys didn't have to come"
Silence.
The sounds from the movie playing loudly overcome the room, bouncing off the walls, it felt strangely relieving to have other presences in the apartment aside from me, i didn't feel so alone in here, the emptiness in my heart, momentarily subside.
"We're your friends too you know, we care about you loser"
I rolled my eyes, pursing my lips to hide my smile, i don''t think i've ever hung out with Edward as closely as i have with the others. This could either be a nice day or become a chaotic mess.
And it was a mix of both, indulging ourselves with the tacos the boys bought over, it was as if we were three disgusting sloths on a couch, "Fine, just this once" Edward sighed, agreeing to watch a horror movie for the night.
Junk food and soda additionally sprawled across the coffee table, he exhaled deeply, pretending to be unfazed but obviously covering his face with a pillow. "DUDE WHAT THE FUCK" he screamed every now and again, prompting Liam and i to giggle at his reactions.
"remember the first day we met? i called you a skank?" He reminisced, finishing the rest of his soda can, chuckling to himself
That day changed the trajectory of all our lives together, i felt my heart dropped as i recalled, seeing Adam for the first time, a fat cigar in his hand. "And you fucking decked me"
"You deserved it"
"Fair enough"
The three of us resting our heads on the couch, we sighed deeply in unison, funny how the world works, almost two years later, here i am chilling with the guy i thought i'd hate with my gut. What would Antheia from then, do about my situation now? Possibly slap myself and walk away? Become a maneater? get drunk and move on? She'd do all that but sit at home becoming dormant and miss Adam until it's time to go to work, just repeat like a cycle.
"I'm having a house party on Friday" Edward added, sharing a look with Liam before back at me, his green eyes glisten under the ceiling light, "you'll be okay to come? Adam will be there" he whispered, i could feel the warmth of Liam's fingers hold my pinky, attempting to comfort me.
Just the mention of his name sending jolts through my skin, the idea of seeing him was nerve wrecking, but i need to talk to him, "Yeah of course" i urgently nodded.
"You'll can talk, we'll lock you two in a room together or something"
I pursed my lips, unable to imagine the thought of that taking place, "mmm how about not - let's not do that"
"You'll be fine, we're here for you" Liam chimed in, I have and always will be grateful that i'm not alone to face this, except you know, Edward screaming at my ear at every 5 minute jump scare, but aside from that, i think my heart is lightening up again.