SLIGHT SEXUAL CONTENT AHEAD
a/n: if washing machine heart was chapter.
~
Kaoru's Pov
It had been two weeks, five hours, and twenty seconds.
Twenty-one seconds.
"But who was counting?"
"Master, would you like me to update you again?"
"No thank you, Carla."
I wanted to see him. I want to see Kaia and let him explain what had happened that night. Though, I couldn't bring myself to do it because each time I'd back out at the last minute and just leave the house.
I ordered Carla to notify me when Kaia had returned or left the house so I could accurately avoid him. But, he was the only issue I found myself trying to deal with.
There was something new invading my mind, a virus, an ugly muscle brained brute that just would not get out of my head regardless of how I tried to distract myself. It was getting to the point where I thought I was losing my mind.
"Are you alright, Mr. Sakurayashiki?" My client asked as I held my temple and paused my calligraphy. His concern was clear as he glanced up from his documents.
"Yes, sir. Just a slight headache is all."
"Maybe you should take a break. You've been working non-stop here for the past couple weeks," he insisted and carefully took the brush from my hand.
"I'm fine, really. I just have many thoughts occupying my mind right now. Trust me, I need this work to keep my mind off things," I challenged and took the brush back into my hand.
"Let me know when I overstep my boundaries. But, I believe I recognize this stress fairly well." He said and tapped his temple with his finger. "It's wife issues, right?"
"Well, not entirely..."
"Oh, well in your case it would be problems with your significant other," he clarified hastily.
Kaoru continued to work on his calligraphy as he sighed heavily in agreement to his guess. The man nodded his head in understanding and placed a hand on his chin in thought.
"Whenever my wife and I are at odds, a romantic night off from the stress of everything usual helps us. We both agree to put aside anything we'd previously disagreed over and simply enjoy each other's company. That way we can rekindle that spark in our relationship."
Kaoru smiled in disbelief before scoffing to himself quietly. "All due respect, sir. I'm not quite sure that'll do us any good."
"Trust me on this. One night, forget everything and just be with each other in the moment. The next morning, they may even forget why they were cross with you in the first place," he said before he winked in reassurance.
"And if the night goes really well, maybe you can rekindle your intimacy as well," he said suggestively before heading back to his office.
I almost smeared my ink on my page in surprise and held the small jar down with my hand to stable it in place. I became flustered even considering the idea of doing such things with Kaia. Although, it wasn't as if I hadn't seen his body before and it definitely was not the fact that I didn't like what I'd seen.
He was young and he'd just turn twenty so there wasn't anything preventing it per say. It was just that I hadn't done anything intimate since...
Kojiro.
"I don't think that's appropriate to talk about in the workplace," I said sternly.
Later as I made my way back home, I realized that I'd forgotten to check if Kaia had arrived before me. I parted my lips to ask but I decided against it and pursed my lips together.
'If he's there then I'll try the idea but if he's not then I won't.' I thought to myself.
**
My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest when I opened the door to the house. What if he was here? I couldn't bring myself to speak to him. It was too soon.
I left my things by the door and walked over into the kitchen preparing myself to speak to him. However, in the end it was only in vein since he wasn't here. God, the house hadn't ever felt so empty when I lived alone.
Why did I expect him to be here, anyways? If he was, it wouldn't make a difference. He probably hated me or thought I hated him.
Was he at Kojiro's?
The thought flickered in my mind and I immediately regretted it. I reluctantly opened one of the cupboard's to reveal bottles of wine, lined up neatly on the shelf.
"Perfect. Kaia is at Kojiro's having an awesome time and here I am drinking Kojiro's awesome wine in this awesome kitchen without any food because I only eat his awesome cooking," I muttered to myself sarcastically and poured the liquid into the glass in front of me until it reached the rim.
I quickly snatched up the glass and put the wine down my throat. "He can't tell me how much I can drink since he isn't even here."
I grinned triumphantly but it turned down into a frown when I realized I'd been thinking about him again. "I hate him."
"I hate him."
"I hate him," I repeated as my voice got softer and began to break. "Then why won't he leave my head?"
I forced back tears of frustration and downed three or four glasses of wine. After those I'd lost count but for reference, I'd finished the first and was half way through my second.
Hours passed and eventually the door clicked open to reveal Kaia with dampened hair. He was wearing clothes that weren't his. I knew they weren't his.
And he smelled of eucalyptus. Kojiro was always fond of the smell.
Kaia shifted awkwardly as I stared at him but his eyes soon landed on the bottles in front of me. I think he was worried because he rushed over and asked me pointless questions that I couldn't quite make out or wanted to answer anyways. I was more focused on the reason he'd taken a shower before coming home.
He had his own shower in his room so avoidance wasn't the reason. So why? Why, Kaia?
"Why?" I blurted my thoughts aloud as I bundled his shirt between my fingers.
"What do you mean?" he questioned.
"Where were you today?"
I met his eyes but he nervously averted them as he stumbled over his words. "I-I was uh, just figuring some things out and speaking of, I need to talk to you about everything-"
"Were you with him?" I asked almost in a whisper but Kaia had understood what I said since he arched a brow.
"With who, Kaoru?"
"Are you serious? You know exactly who I'm talking about!" I shouted and my voice slurred between words.
"I think you need some water," he insisted when he placed a hand against my head. "I'll get you a glass."
The only things racing within my thoughts were that he'd seen him. He was with Kojiro and they were having far more than an awesome time. I mean it had be fucking fantastic if he had to take a shower before coming home. But, I wasn't going to lose to him. I refused to be the one that's pushed aside in this.
Kaia came back to me with a glass of water and I smashed my lips against his without warning. He spilled some of the water on the ground as he held my face with his other hand in attempt to control the desperate kiss. He placed his arm out and searched for the table half-heartedly. He finally was able to set the glass on the counter next to us and pulled my face away with both of his hands.
He held my face in his hands and gently brushed my hair from my face. "Kaoru, you're drunk."
"Then isn't that better," I whispered and pulled him down once more to kiss him again. I slipped my hand under his shirt and felt along his muscles. He pulled me away again and held me in place by my shoulders.
"It's not better. What has gotten into you?" He asked between heavy breathes.
"You can," I said lowly in response and leaned into him again. His eyes went wide and his face turned a bright red.
"No! I'm not going to even-no!" He protested and held me down. "You're not thinking clearly right now."
"My mind has never been this clearer." I lifted his shirt and ran my head along his tattooed skin. "It's a shame that you hide these. But it's makes me wonder, is your whole body like this?"
He held my wrist that was holding his shirt and gave me a serious expression.
"You don't have to respond. I can just see for myself," I said and went to take off his pants but he roughly grabbed my other wrist.
"Kaoru! Listen to me!" he said sternly as he subconsciously tightened his grip around my wrists. "I'm not going to have sex with you!"
"I'll let you do whatever you want. Really Kaia, we can do anything."
"I'm not going to do that to you, especially not when you're like this."
"Please Kaia, I'm sorry. I don't have anything else I can give you. My body is better than his and I won't complain. Just don't leave me alone!" I cried and embraced him in desperation. He went to pry me off but I squeezed him tightly and latched on to his chest. "Just love me, Kaia. I know this is pathetic but just love me back..."
"Kaoru..."
"I'm begging you, just stay with me."
Kaia held my head closer to his chest which startled me for a moment.
"I do love you, I'm sorry that I've never said it."
Even if it was a lie. I didn't care because I needed to hear it. Just once, I wanted proof that my love had been returned even if it's only this split second.
I'd lost against Kojiro and I had to accept it.
a/n: everybody do the mitski shuffle~💃🏽
wasn't this just an AWESOME chapter?