This realization comes hand in hand with the quick reminder email he gets cc'd on about Career Day next week.
That realization further means he has to see Y/N- Y/N, who has starred in a number of increasingly graphic dreams since kiss and ride- in a week.
Toji is quietly becoming more and more panicked about the whole idea. He's certain that he's going to walk in the room and Y/N will just know, which is probably the stupidest thing he's ever thought. Rationally, he knows he's just going to run into work, get some of their brochures for kids to take home and things they use when they do fundraising; big glossy blown up shots of the woods and the wolves mounted on board. He'll go to the school, talk for about five minutes and answer any questions the kids have. It's nothing he hasn't done before, more or less, for other promotional things for the reserve. Megumi still makes him "promise, you have to promise, Dad, that you're going to come in."
The room just doesn't usually include his son and the woman he has a ridiculous... thing for.
He does plan on wearing his good work clothes- which is to say, the one shirt that has neither holes, blood or dirt on it- and everything does go according to plan, dropping off Megumi and Tsumiki, heading back to work, until Anna runs into his office.
"Toji, I think there's- there's something wrong," she says, voice catching on her words. "It's Alisa."
Toji's blood runs cold, because he can't not go right back four years, when he got a call, slow and apologetic asking if he was Alisa Fushiguro's husband, there had been a car accident- but it only lasts a second before he remembers he has another Alisa.
He'd had the kids for two months- Megumi prone to crying fits and Tsumiki quiet and sad- when Hera had delivered her second litter. She'd been the smallest of the pups and when she'd been rejected, Toji had taken her home.
"I'm going to need your help, Tsumiki," Toji had said, hoping someone to take care of might bring Tsumiki around. "She's little and sick, she needs you."
Tsumiki had looked down at the little bundle of dark fur in his lap and nodded at Toji so seriously. "Can we call her Alisa? Like Mom?" Tsumiki had asked, timid.
Toji had swallowed around the lump in his throat. "Yeah, we can call her Alisa."
Alisa had grown up, mostly in the Fushiguro home, into a strong beta- Toji has no idea what he'll do if anything's happened to her.
"What?" he demands.
Anna shakes her head. "Her collar has been in the same position for six hours. It triggered the no-motion, and I cross-referenced her position on the map- she's in the canyon." Anna explains.
Toji grabs the tranq blow gun. The canyon is a rocky death trap in the northeast corner of the reserve. He'll never get there fast enough on the access roads, he'll have to take a horse; easier to maneuver on the trails. He barely takes a moment to verify her exact location before heading out to the stables, when he abruptly remembers about Megumi and Career Day.
"Shit, Anna, I'll radio and let you know when I find her. I need you to call the school and let them know I'm going to try to make it, but I'm supposed to go in for Career Day, you need to let Y/N know there's been an emergency. Then drive a jeep out to the closest point on the access road." Toji says. He doesn't wait for her to agree.
The closer he gets to the canyon, the rockier and looser the terrain gets. Toji tries to remind himself that there's no sense in urging the horse faster because that'll probably just lead to both him and the horse in the bottom of the canyon too. It seems like an eternity until the trees clear- the canyon is close enough now that he tethers the horse to a tree and starts the awkward descent into the canyon. By the time he gets to the bottom, he can see the weird rock formations that are between him and Alisa, if her tracking collar is reading accurately. He winds his way through, and there's Alisa, lying so still, one of her legs trapped under a rock that's between big rock and boulder in size.
He runs over and when he's close he can see she's breathing- shallow, but definitely breathing and Toji sucks in a huge, relieved breath of his own.
"Hey, girl," he says, circling around so she can see him.
Alisa whines, her free feet twitching like she wants to get up, lifting her head from the canyon floor.
"Shh, shh, you stay still, shh," he says, carefully crouching next to her. "I'm gonna get you out of here." He's going to have to sedate her to move the rock, and he quickly administers the dose, stroking her along her muzzle like he did when she was a pup, until her breathing settles and she drifts into sleep.
"Anna," Toji radios.
"You've got her?"
"Trapped, probably a rock slide. One of her legs is pinned. She's out now, I'm going to try to move it. I can get her out of the canyon. Where are you now?"
"Waiting for you on the road. Called Noah, he's driving over to the center now."
"Good job."
He tests the weight of the rock- he should be able to move it, but he wants to do it in a clean lift, so he spends a minute or two trying to figure out the best leverage he can get. It comes free in a massive yanking flip, hardly an inch to spare when the rock comes down heavy and quick. There doesn't seem to be any bleeding, but the bone is undoubtedly broken. Toji can see a straight branch about the right length, and uses his belt to keep the leg straight. Alisa whines, even through the sedative.
"I'm sorry, I know, I'm sorry," Toji repeats, the just same as when he takes bandaids off or when shots happen. "I'm trying."
Picking Alisa up isn't much heavier than picking up Tsumiki. However, carrying her up the side of a canyon is less easy than carrying Tsumiki up the stairs. His feet slip a little a few times and he has to keep readjusting his grip- but the two of them make it up, probably thanks to sheer stupid luck.
"Almost there," Toji promises as they come up over the edge. The access road is a ten, fifteen minute walk, maybe longer, weighed down with a sedated wolf he doesn't want to shake. His infallible sense of direction when on the reserve doesn't steer him wrong- he can see the road and thank god, the jeep. Just because he can carry a seventy five pound wolf this far doesn't mean it's easy.
He whistles loud and Anna pulls around, Toji carefully laying Alisa on the blankets already spread out on the back and getting in with her.
"Go, go," he says, still quiet, gently stroking Alisa's fur.
"You might have mentioned that a 'Y/N' is actually Megumi's teacher, Ms. L/N," Anna says out of the blue on the drive back.
"But you called?" Toji checks.
"Yes, yes, it's fine," she sighs.
Toji pulls out the radio and radios back to the stables that they need to send someone to pick up the horse on the drive back toward the center and the vet. It isn't more than ten minutes but the trip seems longer watching and feeling Alisa's very shallow breathing.
When they pull into the lot, Noah is waiting for them, helping Toji carry Alisa out and into their infirmary.
"You did right, Toji," Noah is undoing Toji's makeshift splint and feeling carefully along her leg. "It's broken, we'll need to x-ray, but it feels clean, stable. Her heart rate is okay for the tranq dose, she should be fine."
Toji feels like his knees are going to give out, adrenaline and relief coursing through him and he rubs a hand over his face. Which brings his watch right up to his face, and oh god, Career Day.
"Oh shit, I have to- Anna, stay with Alisa," he says.
She rolls her eyes at him. "Not going anywhere. Go, you look crazy." she says, shooing him out.
Toji throws himself into his car and hopes that Y/N' dad doesn't pull him over for speeding.
_____________________
He makes it to the school in record time, and he's still running on an insane amount of adrenaline, so he just runs past the office and heads straight for the classroom. He can just hear Y/N saying, "- want to thank all of our parents for coming in today-" when he opens the door.
"Dad!" Megumi shouts.
"Jesu- geez, Toji, are you okay?" Y/N asks.
Toji nods as he catches his breath. "Yeah, I'm fine, sorry I'm late, there was a work emergency." The other parents in the back of the room look a little horrified- Toji can only imagine what he looks like. "I'm Toji Fushiguro, I'm Megumi's parent." The kids all alternate between staring at him and staring at Megumi.
"I work on a nature reserve- we had a scary day today. Does everyone know what a wolf is?" The kids nod in mesmerized unison. Toji must look terrifying. "I work with wolves in a place where we protect the plants and animals that live there."
"What happened?" Megumi asks, looking worried.
"One of the wolves we look out for was lost, she wasn't with her family- wolves call their family their 'pack,'" Toji explains, his heart starting to beat normally again. "But because we have special collars on our wolves, we can find out where they are. We had to find our lost wolf, but she was hurt and I had to bring her to the veterinarian. A veterinarian is a doctor for animals, who helps take care of them like your doctor takes care of you. But our veterinarian said our wolf is going to be okay, so even though it was scary, it's all alright now."
"Dad, which wolf?" Megumi demands.
Toji winces. "It was Alisa, Megumi. But Dr. Noah says she's going to be totally fine." Toji assures him.
Megumi squeaks. "Dad, she's really going to be okay? Dad, are you sure?" Megumi begs.
"She's going to be fine. Meguni knows our wolf named Alisa- when Alisa was a baby, she was sick and her mommy couldn't take care of her, so I took her home and Megumi and his big sister Tsumiki helped me take care of Alisa." Toji adds, because there should probably be some kind of explanation why Megunu looks like he's having a heart attack.
"Mr. Fushiguro?" a little girl timidly asks. "How did you find her?"
"Well, all of our wolves wear special collars that let us know where they are. And because it can always tell us where the wolves are, we knew something was wrong when she wasn't going anywhere this morning. So I went out to where we knew she was- she was stuck in a canyon- a canyon is like a big rock pit. A rock had fallen on her paw and she couldn't get free. So I went down there and got her out, which is why I'm so dirty." Toji tells her. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices Y/N has sat down by Megumi, a hand on his hair, all but hugging him. Toji feels like an idiot- he should have hugged Megumi.
"Wow," she breathes out. "Do you have to do this every day?"
Toji shakes his head. "No, and that's good. Wolves are tough, smart and take care of each other. Most of the time, they're really good at being safe on their own. But sometimes we need to help them out. Just like I'm sure you guys are really good at taking cake of yourselves, but sometimes you need help, too, right?"
She nods shyly.
This apparently opens the floor for a horde of questions, coming all at once: "Do wolves wag their tails like dogs?" "Could a wolf beat a bear in a fight?" "What do wolves think of vegetarians?" "Do wolves ever have allergies?" "Where do wolves sleep?" "Can wolves climb trees?" Toji tries to answer all of them- but they just keep coming, and he keeps feeling like the kids think he actually is a wolf or something.
After a couple of minutes, Y/N cuts them off. "Okay, guys, Mr. Fushiguro has answered a lot of questions, we need to give him a break, because it's time for lunch!" There's general groans of disappointment mixed with the excitement of lunch time. "Thanks again to all of our wonderful parents who came in today, let's give them another round of applause!" The kids break into chaotic clapping and yelling.
"Line up and get your lunches if you brought them," Y/N instructs, and as the kids mill around, she shakes a lot of hands and parents also leave, usually after hugging their kid. Megumi is attached to Toji, demanding that he tell him again that Alisa will be fine.
"I promise, Megumi," Toji says. "We can go this weekend and you can see her for yourself, how about that?"
Megumi nods, reluctantly. "Okay. Should I tell Tsumiki at lunch?"
Toji shakes his head. "No, I'll tell her after school, okay?" he says.
"Hey, Megumi, it's time to go to lunch," Y/N says gently. Megumi looks like he might protest for a second, but he just nods and grabs his lunchbox. "I'll be right back, I just have to take them to the cafeteria- can you stay for a little longer?"
Toji shrugs. "Sure." He unfolds from the crouch he was in to talk to Megumi and sits on one of the low tables around the room. While the kids are gone, he glances around the room, noting the new stuff in the room- a giant fake tree cutout taped to the wall, hundreds of multicolored, changing leaves stuck around its branches, a terrarium with a bunny in it, twitching its nose curiously, out of its nest now that the room is quiet. He can't help but check it out, the bunny placid and calm even when he walks over.
"Hi," Y/N says, and shit, it's just the two of them, alone in the classroom, and this probably should be awkward, but Toji is too tired to be weird about this right now. "I see you met Bugs."
Toji raises an eyebrow.
"Bugs Bunny." Y/N points at the gray rabbit with its white markings and Toji snorts, because of course Y/N named the bunny Bugs.
"Cute," Toji says. "Was the speech whatever not okay, is that why-'"
"No, no, no," Y/N says, waving her hands. "It was great, are you kidding me? You're going to be bigger than the Beatles in here. Or Justin Bieber. Kids these days, I guess. No, I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you look a little... rough."
"Oh," Toji says, glancing down at himself- he's covered in dirt, some rips and tears from where he's brushed up against the canyon walls. His palms are a little cut up, too.
"I mean you look like nature John McClane, it's a cool look." Y/N says, and Toji realizes his hands are full of cotton swabs and neosporin. "But I didn't want you to get gangrene, so I thought I'd offer to be your vet."
"I'm not a wolf, Y/N," Toji points out.
Y/N snorts. "Sure you're not." she says. "Go on, wash your hands and then take a seat on the desk."
There's a little mirror over the little sink that Toji has to stoop to use. He does look beat- Toji gets a couple of paper towels wet and wipes his face down first, cracking open a couple of buttons to wipe down his neck, which somehow leaves a giant dirt streak on the towels.
"Oh, hey, if you wanted to clean up I have a towel and an extra shirt from my dad." Y/N offers, reaching into a big cabinet to the left of her desk.
"It'll just get dirty," Toji warns him.
Y/N waves a hand. "They have washing machines for a reason, Toji, go for it." She pulls out a brightly striped towel and a simple gray henley.
Toji shrugs then takes them both, stripping out of his button down and running the towel under the water. He wrings it out and wipes himself down, and sure enough, the towel's filthy by the end- even a couple of rusty red smears that mean Toji's bleeding somewhere. He washes his hands and tugs the shirt on He turns around to find Y/N totally focused on a magazine at her desk.
"I'm fine, really, you don't have to do anything. These'll scab over." Toji says.
Y/N frowns. "Don't be ridiculous, come here." She pats the desk and Toji sits on it carefully. Y/N is more gentle than Toji would have been with himself, but that probably comes from years of fixing playground scrapes on much more sensitive patients. Y/N is holding Toji's hand still, applying the anti-bacterial ointment to the cuts, especially the deeper one beneath his thumb where he'd slammed a hand out to grab at the wall to stop from skidding down the canyon side on his way down. He hadn't noticed at the time, but he must have scrambled down like an idiot.
"Did you climb down glass?" Y/N asks, her brows furrowing as she moves on to the next hand, which is probably worse than the other one. Toji honestly can't feel a thing because Y/N' hand is warm, circled around Toji's wrist, and Toji is close enough that he can smell Y/N' perfume. That smell had lingered in the car for two days and Toji had been forced to spray it with air freshener so he'd stop wanting to make out with his car.
"The sides of the canyon are steep and there's a lot of loose rock," Toji explains. "Luckily, it's easier to go up than down."
"I still can't believe you carried her out of a canyon," Y/N says.
"There wasn't any other way to get her out," Toji shrugs again. He's getting distracted by Y/N' eyelashes, which are dark against his cheeks from where Toji's looking down.
"I know. It's just kind of incredibly awesome, that's all," Y/N grins up at Toji. Toji wants to lean down and kiss her- but he's in Megumi's classroom and this is Megumi's teacher.
"It's just my job," Toji says, glancing away as Y/N puts- puts Batman bandaids on his hands.
"Y/N."
"It was these or Hello Kitty, I swear," Y/N says, but she's still grinning.
Toji hates that, that makes him want to kiss Y/N more.
The bell rings loudly, startling Y/N and thoroughly destroying any psychotic thoughts Toji had in the back of his mind telling him to just kiss Y/N anyway.
"Oh, crap, I have to go pick up the kids from the cafeteria- are you- do you?" Y/N trails off.
"I should get back to work. Go before Megumi comes back and refuses to let me go," Toji says.
Y/N nods jerkily. "No, right, right. Well, thanks for coming in, even after this morning, the kids loved it." Y/N says quickly.
"Right, you're welcome," Toji offers automatically, picking up his shirt. "See you later."
He takes a deep breath when he's out in the car and realizes that he smells like Y/N' laundry. He should probably take the shirt off.
"Fuck," he mutters as he drives back to work, still wearing the henley.