Chapter Twelve
The stables weren’t what Jane was used to. Truthfully she was expecting a wooden barn much similar to the one she had at home, but she was wrong. She should’ve expected the beautiful white barn with the perfectly groomed stallion’s heads hanging out of each individual stall.
She couldn’t believe how perfect Southerby and its grounds were. It would have been a dream growing up at Southerby House. She immediately regretted the thought as she began to think about Sabine. She most likely didn’t like growing up at Southerby, or she wouldn’t remember her childhood fondly because of it when she was grown.
Daniel led her inside the main entrance of the stables confidently. He was a completely changed man from the one that had divulged to her his most intimate thoughts. But she still wasn’t convinced that he was healed, he was still hurting, even if he was trying to be strong for Sabine.
They came to the last stall in which a blonde little girl was standing on a wooden stool, similar to the one she used to sit on to milk Daisy, brushing down a small, spotted pony.
“Sabine,” Daniel cleared his throat and she immediately turned around. As Daniel opened the stall door she noticed that Sabine was not alone in the stall, and older, sour looking woman was standing in the corner watching Sabine like a hawk. Jane concluded that she was Miss Porter, Sabine’s governess.
Jane noticed that Sabine was not brushing her pony correctly but she didn’t want to correct her when they hadn’t even been introduced. Sabine watched Jane cautiously as they both walked into the straw covered stall.
The pony snorted and shook his head. He was very pretty. His coat was a lovely cream colour with brown spots covering his back.
“Sabine, this is a friend of mine, Miss Jane, she will be staying at Southerby House for awhile, Jane, this is my daughter Lady Sabine,” Daniel introduced.
Sabine stepped down off the stool and came over to curtsey to Jane. Jane did so too. She thought Sabine was a very attractive child. She would grow up to be very beautiful. Her hair was a lovely golden colour and her eyes were the exact same brilliant blue as her mother’s in the portrait. She was wearing a smart, navy riding coat and cream coloured slacks. Her little black boots came up to knee height and they were slightly muddy. “It’s nice to meet you,” she said quietly.
“You too, Lady Sabine, I’ve heard so many wonderful things about you,” Jane smiled encouragingly. She didn’t want her to be timid around her. “I like your pony,” she said, trying to make her feel a little more comfortable.
Jane liked horse riding, she often did it in her spare time at the farm though not side saddle like a lady was supposed to, instead she rode like a man as it was easier.
Sabine smiled and rubbed her pony’s forehead. “His name is Freckles,” she replied.
“When I was younger I had a horse that was called ‘Donkey’,” she laughed, recalling her horse. He couldn’t be tamed, but that was thanks to Sebastian who let him get away with everything. Her mother had gotten the horse for her and Sebastian as company just after their father passed away.
Sabine giggled. “That’s a silly name!”
“I know, my brother named him, he thought he was being funny,” Jane rolled her eyes.
“Milord,” said a voice that came from outside the stables. Jane, Daniel, Miss Porter and Sabine turned to see a footman standing there.
“Yes?” Daniel raised his eyebrows.
“Visitor for you, sir,” he said, sounding out of breath.
“Alright, I’ll be there directly,” he nodded and turned back towards Jane, Sabine and Miss Porter. “Miss Porter, will you join me, I wish to discuss something with you?”
Miss Porter reluctantly exited the stall, giving Jane what looked like a warning look before both she and Daniel exited.
Sabine watched after her governess and then returned to brushing Freckles down still incorrectly.
“Do you enjoy taking care of your pony, Sabine?” Jane asked her.
Sabine nodded. “There is a stable boy that looks after the other horses but I like talking to Freckles, he likes listening to me,” Sabine said innocently.
Jane smiled and walked up next to Sabine. “If you want Freckles’ coat to be the shiniest it can be then brush him like this,” she took the brush from Sabine and began brushing his coat with the grain. “There’s a good boy,” she praised Freckles as he stayed still patiently.
Jane gave the brush back to Sabine and she began brushing him properly. She smiled as his coat appeared smoother.
“What do you talk to Freckles about?” Jane asked, trying to appear nonchalant.
Sabine looked at Jane cautiously. “A lot of things ...” she mumbled.
Jane smiled at Sabine kindly. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want,” she assured her.
Sabine nodded and went back to brushing Freckles. “Are you going to be my new mama?” she asked suddenly.
Jane’s eyes widened. “No, why do you ask?”
Sabine shrugged her shoulders. “I was just wondering, because all mamas die and you seem nice so I don’t want you to die.” Sabine talked of death as though it was guaranteed. Has her governess not explained it to her?
“Sabine, not all mamas die,” she said softly.
“Yes, they do,” Sabine retorted angrily to Jane. She stepped off of the stool and placed the brush on a shelf in the stall. She led Freckles to his water bucket and left him be. “Mamas die and papas leave,” she stated as if it were fact.
It broke Jane’s heart. This girl was so much more damaged then Daniel knew. “Sabine, my mama is still alive, she lives not but a day’s ride from here,” she said softly.
Sabine’s lip trembled a little. She looked to the ground sadly. “Then why did my mama die?” she asked Jane.
Jane held out her hand for Sabine’s. “Let’s go for a walk, you and me,” she urged.
Sabine took Jane’s hand reluctantly. Jane led her out the other end of the stables and into the grounds. They were magnificently kept, and somewhere she could hear running water. “Are you my friend?” Sabine asked, looking up at Jane.
“Yes, I’m your friend,” Jane smiled down at her. She led Sabine down a small hill and behind a row of trees to see a large stream and the source of the running water sound. Jane sat down at the edge of the stream and began unbuttoning her boots. Sabine sat next to her and copied by taking off her riding boots. They both removed their stocking socks and placed their feet in the cool water.
“I’m not allowed down here, Gwenny forbids it,” Sabine told Jane. Jane thought that ‘Gwenny’ must have been Miss Porter’s Christian name.
“As long as you’re with an adult, it’s fine,” Jane assured her.
Sabine kicked her feet in the stream, bringing water up and splashing Jane. Jane laughed lightly and dried herself with her skirt. “Are you going to tell me then?” Sabine asked.
Jane knew exactly what Sabine was talking about. “Not all mamas die, Sabine, sometimes God calls his children back sooner than we would like, but we know they’re safe. Right now, your mama is up in heaven watching over you and keeping you safe.” Jane liked to believe that. She liked to believe that her father was up there watching over her, Sebastian and Catherine. It kept the sadness at bay.
Sabine lay back on the river bed and looked up at the sky. Jane did the same and looked up with the fluffy white clouds. “What’s heaven like? Will mama like it?” she asked.
“Heaven is perfect,” Jane replied. “You always get to do your favourite things.” Jane wanted Sabine to think of her mother fondly, and not believe that all mothers die. One day she hoped that Sabine would have another mother, and she didn’t want her living in fear that she was going to die too.
“Like eat jam and scones?” Sabine asked eagerly, rolling onto her side to look at Jane. “Gwenny said mama liked to eat jam and scones when she was little.”
“Your mama would be eating nothing but her jam and scones,” Jane grinned at Sabine. On her own, Sabine shuffled closer to Jane, laying her head on Jane’s chest.
“I like having you as my friend, Miss Jane, I don’t have any friends,” she sighed.
Jane wrapped her arms around the little girl. She could not believe how fond she was of her already. Attachments form very quickly for her. “I like having you as a friend, too, Sabine,” she rubbed her back subconsciously, just as her mother did for her when she was ill. “How come you don’t have friends?” she asked.
“I don’t know anyone else. I’m not allowed outside the house unless Gwenny holds my hand and I’m not allowed in town with the other children.”
Jane thought that this ‘Gwenny’ was a little too strict. “Well guess what?”
“What?”
“My brother and his wife are coming to stay soon, and they have five children,” she emphasised.
Sabine’s eyes widened as she looked up at Jane. “Five?” she gasped. “Are they boys or girls?” she asked.
“There are two four year olds – James and Kitty. Then there’s Little J who is three, Annie who is two and baby Henry. I’m sure they will all be your friends,” Jane told Sabine.
“I always wanted to know other children like me,” Sabine smiled. Her expression changed as she looked like she was surveying Jane’s face. “Does my papa like you?”
Jane furrowed her eyebrows. “How do you mean?”
“I think he does like you. How do I get him to like me?” she asked Jane, leaning up on her chest. It hurt Jane but she didn’t complain. Sabine’s eyes were truly serious. She wanted to know how to get her father to like her.
“Sabine, your father loves you,” she told her sincerely.
Sabine shook her head. “No, he doesn’t. He only came back once, never before. If he loved me then he would be here always.”
Jane frowned sadly. “That’s not true, Sabine,” Jane assured her. She couldn’t tell her everything, she was much too young. “You know, Sabine, when I was a little older than you my father passed away,” Jane whispered to Sabine. Sabine snuggled closer to Jan, opting to lie back down again.
“What happened?” she whispered back.
“He was ill, and he didn’t get better. It happens sometimes, and my mama was very sad, just like your papa was very sad when your mama died.”
“Did your mama go away?” she asked softly.
“No, but there was nobody else to look after my brother and I. She was very sad though, my brother cared for me most of the time. Your papa let your nanny and your governess look after you because he was very sad and he wanted the very best for you.” Jane played with one of Sabine’s tight braids as she spoke. Even after a decade and a half, it still upset her to talk about it.
“Is papa still sad?” she asked Jane.
Jane nodded. “Yes, he’ll always miss your mama, like my mama misses my papa.”
“And he left me because he wanted the best for me?”
Again, Jane nodded. “You must never doubt how much your father cares for you. There is nothing more important to him than you,” she promised her.
Sabine searched Jane’s face seriously. “I hope so,” she sighed. Sabine reached out touched the side of Jane’s face. “I hope I’m as pretty as you when I’m older.”
Jane furrowed her eyebrows, smiling. “Thank you, Sabine,” she said without believing it. But Sabine didn’t have any reason to lie, but it was still hard for her to believe it. “But I am positive you will grow to be more beautiful than us all.” Jane sighed and shifted Sabine off of her. “We should probably get back to the house; we don’t want anyone worrying about your whereabouts.”
Both girls pulled their shoes back on and began their walk back up to the house. Before they went inside, Sabine said “If not all mamas die, I hope you do marry papa. I like you,” she smiled before scampering away inside.
The comment threw Jane for a moment. A child’s innocence always made one think.
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