The Following Week (around 8 pm):
"Derek?" Addison asks as he looks at the ceiling of the trailer.
He doesn't respond so her hand instinctively moves to his chest. She is surprised by how fast his heart is beating and gently climbs over him. He frowns and gently slides her off.
"I'm fine Addie. I've just been waiting for something and it's finally coming today." He lies, sitting up.
His eyes are a deep, sparkling blue that has Addison mesmerized. She hasn't seen him like this in a long time; never since they had that stupid argument about kids.
"Honey, I'm home!" Derek calls as he kicks off his shoes and hangs up his coat.
"Hey." Addison runs down the stairs and jumps into his arms.
He groans and they laugh as he picks her up and twirls her around the room.
"I was only gone for a week." He smiles as she leads him upstairs.
"A very long one." She nods before flopping on the bed.
She watches him unpack his suitcase and he keeps glancing at her.
"Well, how was it?" She gets off the bed and shakes his arm vigorously, wanting every detail.
"It was hot." He smirks as her lips press into a hard line. His eyes sparkle and his charming smile makes her laugh.
"It's Africa, Derek. Of course, it's hot." She smiles and watches him push the empty suitcase underneath their bed.
"Hmm, well they were mostly kids... believe it or not, the volunteers were all under the age of twenty!" He says, standing.
"Where were the adults?" She asks.
"The adults were sick." He says softly, putting his hands on her waist and kissing her cheek.
"Oh." She says, unbuttoning his shirt.
He nods and unbuckles his belt before unbuttoning his jeans.
"Addie..." He says as they toss his clothes in the hamper.
"Hmm." She nods as they slide into the bed.
"We both want kids and-" He starts.
"I'm not ready yet." She stops him and he frowns gently.
His eyes dim and he holds her hair gently.
"You said that six years ago babe." He whispers, kissing her neck.
"And I'm still not." She interrupts.
"We're getting old." He says softly.
"We've been married for 8 years." She says defensively.
"Please Addie. Think about it. You deliver babies, don't you want one to keep?" He asks.
"I do. Just not now." She says calmly.
"Well when?" He sits up, stopping his lips at her clavicle.
"I don't know Derek." She sighs.
"Tomorrow? Next week? Next year? Or do I have to wait another six years to even bring it up in a discussion?" He asks, frustration overwhelming him.
"I'm just not ready Derek, it's a lot of responsibility!" She says as he gets out of the bed.
"We're surgeons, we have a lot of responsibility! It's practically in our job description!" He yells from down the stairs.
She follows him into the kitchen and watches him pour himself a cup of hot coffee.
"But kids- Derek, we are happy." She says.
"Are we?!... Addie? Are we happy?" He asks.
"You're not happy-?" She asks, her back straightened and her eyes tearing.
"That's not what I meant." He says softly.
"Yes, it is." She says getting up.
He puts the coffee down and slips his hand into hers before turning her to him.
"Addie, you know I love you." He says softly, running his fingers through her soft, red hair.
"I know." She smiles lightly.
"I just... going to Africa and seeing those kids helping taking care of their parents... it brought out this in me. We can wait... if you really want to." He sighs and lets her sink into his arms.
"Yeah?" She asks as he leads her upstairs.
"Yeah, it'll be okay with just the two of us." He nods.
She had known he has thought of it after that but she didn't want kids. She wasn't ready and he felt guilty so he didn't push the subject. He tortured himself, watching all their friends have kids. He wouldn't do it anymore.
His phone rings and he quickly picks it up.
"Derek?" Meredith's soft voice crackles through the phone as he gets up and heads into the bathroom.
"Hey." He laughs.
"Can we talk?" She asks.
"Yes! I- uhm.... yeah, I'd like that." He says, unable to hold back his excitement.
"Okay. Umm, maybe dinner?" She asks.
"Of course! Yes, sure." He nods.
"Great. I'll meet you at the diner." She says calmly.
"I can't wait. 8 is okay?" He asks.
"See you there." She says before hanging up.
He gets up and looks at himself through the mirror. The man he once recognized is back, the happy one, the young one, the carefree one. He runs a comb through his hair and steps out of the bathroom.
"Derek." He watches her get up and smiles.
"Oh, I thought you went back to bed Addie." He gently kisses her forehead and she nods.
"I need to show you something." She says softly.
He raises his eyebrows and Addison smiles.
"What is it?" He asks.
She holds his hand and he lets her pull him into the bedroom. He glances down at his wrist and his shoulders tense as the minute hand hits 9:00. Moving his head upwards, he watches her pull a zip-lock bag from her purse and puts it in his hand.
"What is this?" He asks softly as he looks at the thin white stick.
"Remember... a month ago. You came home angry?" She asks.
He looks up to her face, his heart pounding against his chest.
"I helped with that... remember?" She asks, letting a finger trail down the middle of his chest.
"No- that wasn't- I didn't-" He sputters.
"You did." She says.
"I couldn't have." He laughs, denying it.
"I'm pregnant Derek." Her hand goes on his cheek and he shakes his head in protest.
Soon, tears build up in his eyes and she smiles before wrapping her arms around his torso and pushing her head into his chest. His arms encase her shoulders and he looks up to the ceiling to stop the tears threatening to leave his eyes.
"You've wanted this forever." She says, muffled in his chest.
"Yeah." His voice cracks and he strokes her hair gently.
"Do you still want a kid?" He asks in a whisper.
"I think I'm finally ready." She nods and he hears her laugh.
His breath hitches in his throat and he drops the bag on the floor. They stay in the same position for a while until he moves his wrist above his face to check the time. It's already 9:30 and he is miserable.
"Addie, I gotta go." He says, gathering himself.
"Mhmm. Okay." She nods and pulls out of his grip before he turns around and the tears roll down his cheeks.
He wipes them frantically and grabs his favorite red button-up shirt with his black jeans and black belt. He leaves before Addison can ask any questions and his palms sweat as he drives and calls Meredith.
"Mer... I'm sorry I was late, something came up." He says quickly as he speeds down the highway.
"Oh alright, I'm at my house now... you can come over." She says hesitantly.
"Yeah- I'll be there in a minute." He says, making a sharp turn and hanging up.
The houses fly past as the sick feeling in his stomach rises. He parks fast and gets out of the car before knocking on her door. Immediately, he wipes his forehead and then his knees.
The door opens as he fixes his hair in the glass. Upon seeing her, his face softens and he smiles gently, hurt by what he would soon do. She holds the door open and gives him her heartwarming smile. He walks in and they head into the kitchen while he tries to calm himself. She turns and hands him a glass of ice-cold water. He chuckles and takes it greatly before drinking all of it. He sits and takes her hands in his.
"Derek, I-" She starts.
"Wait. Don't say anything." He stops her, desperate to keep her decision away from his ears. If she had chosen him after yesterday, he would be destroyed to tell her 'no'.
She stops and he stands up straight. Her hands move up his arms and rest on his shoulders.
"I love you." He smiles as tears build in his eyes.
She moves to speak but he shakes his head.
"I- really love you. And I want you." He chokes on the words waiting to slip out.
"I sense a 'but'" She whispers.
He nods and cups her face, letting his thumb run over her cheek.
"I'm going to be a dad." He says miserably.
She steps back and refuses to let his hands pull her closer. Her brows furrow in confusion and he shakes his head, trying to touch her. She keeps stepping away from him and he feels tears blurring his vision.
"Meredith. I-" He tries to hold her hands but she stops him.
"What?" She asks as he holds her cheeks.
He presses his forehead to hers and gently caresses her cheek.
"Don't make me repeat it please." He asks.
Her eyes widen and her hands rest on his chest.
"So... you and Addison..." She starts.
"Please don't imagine it." He begs, repulsed by the idea of her torturing herself.
She holds the collar of his shirt as he unbuttons the top button.
"I get it." She steps away and lets go of him, trying to distance herself from the man she loves.
"Meredith wait." He hesitantly pulls her back into his grip and kisses her temple before taking a deep breath.
"It isn't so simple. I can't just leave you after I told you that... I love you. I can't- just go." He says.
"It is simple. You and Addison are having a baby. You're perfect, she's perfect and your baby will be perfect. Just... forget about me okay?" She asks softly as she looks up to stop the tears.
"You are the only one that's perfect." He says gently.
She grimaces and he feels a sting of pain in his heart knowing she doesn't think she's good enough.
"Just go. Please." She asks.
He nods and wipes his face before stepping closer to her.
"Goodbye Meredith." He whispers.
His warm breath is shaky as he leans in and kisses her cheek though his lips are aching for hers.
She feels the same and as he leaves, she turns.
"Derek?" She says softly.
He stops walking immediately and turns to her again. This time, she swiftly wraps her arms around his neck and meets his lips. He takes her in, moaning in pleasure as he lets his arms pick her up. The kiss is more forceful than the others, almost like a 'goodbye' without words.
He carries her out of the kitchen and her hands hold his head in place tightly. His tongue pushes through her lips and gently rubs hers eliciting a reaction from it. Their eyes are shut tight, trying to force their brains to remember a time of peace between them. Maybe in her first few months of internship before she knew about Addison. Still, the house is the same and he swiftly maneuvers around the furniture until he gets to the couch. His arms ache to carry her into her bedroom and make her feel his promises like he had done before. They pant for breath but never let their lips separate for long due to the impending 'goodbye' awaiting them. The first few buttons of his shirt are spread wide and her fingers are clinging to the hair on his nape as he pulls back and sets her down. He can remember their first night like none other. The way her eyes were so young, unstressed, and free, the way she was so happy. Then he remembered how he had ruined it, he had wrecked her and it wasn't fair. She pulls back, needing air and they turn away from each other frantically. Her svelte figure presses against his broad one. They listen to their quivering breaths and his fingers find hers, pushing his between the spaces. The simple show of affection makes his heart skip a beat while he lets his tears out.
"It's not a choice anymore." He whispers.
"I know."
"If it was a choice-"
"It's not."
"If it was..."
She takes a sharp breath and holds it.
"I would choose you every time." He whispers.
His hands are shaking and he is sweating as the currents of hot and cold fail to keep him stable. They get up and lock their pinky's till they get to the door. He steps outside and nods as she shuts the screen door. He reaches out for the outside door and pushes it closed; the last image of her is a forced smile and that's the same one she gets. He turns and slowly walks down the drive, his legs feeling weak every step he takes.
Mark pulls into the driveway and gets out of the car.
"Mark? What are you doing here?" He asks.
"Meredith's letting me stay over until I go back to New York." He says as he unzips his jacket.
"You're staying with Meredith." Derek nods.
Mark gives him a short smile and starts walking down the driveway with him.
"Congratulations by the way. Addie called me a couple of hours ago." He says patting Derek's shoulders.
"Yeah," Derek chuckles sarcastically.
"What are you doing here anyway?" He asks.
"Nothing, I was just talking to Meredith. Are you dating-?"
"There is no label to it yet. She wasn't ready and I want to take it slow with her." He smiles as Derek clenches his fists and obscures them from their view.
"You don't do slow Mark."
"I think she's changing that."
"Good, that's good."
"Hey, I wanted to apologize for accusing you of still loving her. I didn't know you guys were just friends." He says as Derek gets in his car, restraining to run Mark over.
Derek nods and Mark walks from the car. He watches him walk up the driveway to the door and knock. Meredith opens the door and they laugh before pulling each other in for a hug. His stomach flips and his lips press into a hard line as he watches Mark press his lips to Meredith's hair. Their eyes lock and Derek's face softens, miserably as she waves to him. He nods and pulls out of the driveway before parking at Joe's bar.
Sighing, he opens the dashboard of the truck and pulls out a thin rectangular box. He opens that too and takes a sharp breath as the moonlight shines through the window and hits the golden chain on the black velvet cloth. The 'M' of the pendant stands out and he sniffles before holding it up and letting his thumb run over the letter. He puts the necklace back in and closes the box gently, rubbing the leather.
Meredith's house
"Hey!" Meredith smiles as Mark walks into the room.
"Hello." He nods before falling into the bed.
She laughs as he pins her underneath him, pushing his hands into hers, carefully kissing her lips. His phone rings and he picks it up before groaning.
"I have to take this. Be downstairs and I'll make you dinner." He says gently before pecking her lips and getting up.
She sighs happily while clutching a large pillow to her chest. Hearing him walk downstairs and talking to someone, she gets up and squeals into the pillow.
"Hey Sam." Mark sighs heavily.
"It's been a week. When are you coming back?"
"Straight to the point, what's wrong?"
"Nothing is wrong. You're not pulling your weight."
"I own half of the practice."
"Exactly! That's a lot of money that you are letting go to waste."
"I'm not letting it go to waste."
"Are you still with the slutty intern?"
"Hey! She isn't slutty!"
"She dated you and Derek, yes she is."
"You insult her again and I'll sell the shares."
"Alright, fine. She isn't slutty. But seriously Mark."
"I'll come back, just give me a month."
"You better be here or else I'll send Naomi to kick your ass."
"Have a nice day to you too Sam."
He sighs and walks into the house as Meredith wraps her arms around his neck. She kisses him and he pulls back swiftly.
"Who was that?" She asks as he picks her up and easily strides into the kitchen before setting her down.
"That was Sam." Mark sighs as he pulls out vegetables, chicken, and pasta after washing his hands.
She sits on the counter, trying to read his demeanor while and he starts cutting the vegetables and boils the pasta.
"Sam is?"
"We work together in New York."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, he called to ask when I'll be back in New York."
"Hmm."
"'Hmm' what?" He asks.
"Nothing,
"It's not 'nothing' or else you would have spoken your mind."
"Okay, yes it is something but I was wondering that too."
"You were wondering when I was leaving?"
His face softens as he places chicken on the grill. She nods, sheepishly and he walks around the counter and wipes his hands with a rag. He lets his nose run up her neck and follows it with gentle kisses until she tilts her head back. She lets his tongue run over her top lip and pushes in gently before pulling away.
"I'm not leaving you, not forever at least." He says rubbing his large hands up and down her arms.
"Oh really? So you aren't going back to New York?" She asks as he plates and seasons their food.
"I am, just not right now." He exclaims as he places food on a black placemat.
"Well when?" She asks again as he sets the plate next to her.
She winces in pain as she tastes the hot pasta.
"Come here, let's let our food cool off." He says, taking her hands in his and pulling her off the barstool.
She nods and lets him take her outside.
"What's going on?" She asks as he puts his jacket over her.
"See this?" He asks, picking up a dandelion.
"Yes." She says, frustrated.
He blows hard on the dandelion, sending all the seeds floating through the yard. He picks another one and does the same.
"What did I wish for?" He asks.
"How am I supposed to know?!" She asks angrily.
"More time... here, with you." He says softly.
She hides her face and he runs his finger into her golden hair.
"I want to stay here but the chief is making it so hard to get a job at Seattle Grace because of his loyalty to Derek. Sam and the rest of the team in New York are holding it over my head that I own half the practice." He says.
"I didn't know you were trying to get a job here." She blushes hard and he chuckles lightly.
"I didn't tell you, because I knew that I might not have gotten the job. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." He pulls her into his chest and wraps his arms around her. He lifts her easily and she giggles as he walks inside before shutting the door with the tip of his foot. Walking to the kitchen, he sets her down on a barstool and sits in front of her. They eat in comfortable silence, stealing glances at each other every so often.
"The chief owes me so I can ask him to look past his personal issues. He often has a problem with that." She says as she packs away the leftovers and puts them in the fridge.
"What do you mean he has a problem?" He asks, stepping behind Meredith and locking their fingers.
"He had an affair with my mother when they were residents." She says as he trails kisses from her ear to her shoulder.
"With The Ellis Grey?!" He exclaims in shock.
Meredith walks up the stairs and rolls her eyes in frustration.
"Meredith?!" He yells as she walks into the room.
"Meredith. What is it?" He asks.
"I hate it when people talk about my mother that way." She rolls her eyes and takes off her sweater.
He stares as she pulls it over her head and struggles to untangle it from her hair.
"I'm really trying to be angry at you!" She says loudly.
He laughs and helps her get the sweater over her head. They fall into the bed and their bodies press. He tosses it off the bed and rolls over her, tickling her and listening to her soft, raspy laughter.
"You aren't doing a very good job at being mad at me." He catches his breath and lays beside her.
"Do you want me to bite you?" She seethes.
"I wouldn't be opposed to the idea." He smirks.
She chuckles rolls on top of him before meeting his lips. He groans quietly and she moves her lips to his neck. She bites relatively hard making him wince in pain.
He shakes his head and gets up before walking to the bathroom. She follows him and giggles as he tilts his head up, looking at the red bruise on his neck.
"That hurts."
"You said that you wouldn't mind."
"I don't. I have battle wounds."
"Battle wounds?!"
"Scars are hot... especially if they come from women."
"Come here."
He lets her pull out a spoon and holds it to his neck as he buries his face in her neck to muffle his shouts of pain again. His legs give way and she laughs, holding him up.
"That is not fair!" He moans, letting his teeth dig into her neck.
She grips his hair and pushes him off her before he can do any real damage to her porcelain skin. They back away and rub their bruises in circles.
"You cannot be kidding me. This is torture. You branded me." Mark groans.
"Branded?! That's going far. Besides, you bit me too." She scoffs, pulling him into her bed.
He shakes his head and kisses her cheek before spooning her small figure.