"Tyrion killed Joffrey. Why is he still alive?", asked Cercei as she walked back and forth in the Tower of the Hand.
"He will receive a trial like any other accused", replied father, watching Cercei.
I was still in shock at the events that had happened.
Joffrey was dead.
And Tyrion possibly killed him.
"It couldn't have been him", I argue quietly and Cercei turned to me.
"Your King is dead because you failed to protect him and you are protecting his murderer?", she seethed and I looked at her sternly.
"He did not kill Joffrey", I say again.
"You always pitied him, our poor little monster brother. He killed Joffrey! When will it get to your thick head finally?", she yelled and father stood up.
"We are all grief stricken but we need to keep a leveled head. Tyrion is a Lannister. He will receive a fair trial, end of story. Meanwhile, we have to prepare for the coronation of King Tommen. Now excuse me, I have a Kingdom to rule", announced father, leaving me and Cercei shocked as he walked out.
"How dare he, how dare you! How dare you protect that little Imp while our son will soon lie under the ground!", yelled Cercei but I just looked at the ground. She was griefstriken, she wasn't thinking rationally. I didn't want to anger her any more. She just lost a son.
I had just lost my son.
"What? I am not even worthy of your eyes anymore? Has that Stark slut taken even that from me? How can she still be on your mind when she is half a world away, about to marry. Yet you still won't look at me. Why?", she asked as she got close to me but I refused to look at her. She roughly took my chin, forcing me to look but all I could see was pain and sadness.
I remained silent as she looked into my eyes.
"Take off your clothes", she ordered letting go of my chin. I looked at her confused as she drank some wine.
"What?", I ask.
"Take. Off. Your. Clothes", she repeated. "I want you to remember who you really love".
I didn't move. I refused. Nobody is going to ever touch me other than Audelia. Even if that was never going to happen, I didn't care. I refused.
"Fine, I'll do it for you", she whispered, getting close to me. I took a step back but my back hit the wall. I had nowhere to run.
I felt myself freeze. Just like when I was 12 and Cercei forced me to follow her to her room. I didn't know what to do, where to run. I never froze, not in battle, not in tournaments, never. But I froze now.
Cercei began pulling off my armour, and it fell with a loud clang.
"Cercei...", I tried to protest but she shushed me.
I didn't want her hands on me. I only wanted to feel Audelia's hands on my skin, nobody else's, not anymore.
"Please don't", I whisper weakly but she continues, undoing my jacket.
She began kissing my neck, my face, leaving a trail of love bites here and there. I couldn't do anything. I felt my breathing increase but I couldn't bring myself to stop her.
"Cercei, please-", I tried to beg her to stop but she put a finger on my lips.
"You are mine, dear brother. Only mine", she whispered, and took off her dress, pushing me against the desk and forcing herself onto me.
I wanted to get her off me. I wanted her to stop. But I couldn't. I couldn't force myself to do anything.
I felt so weak, and useless.
But perhaps this was exactly what I needed.
Audelia was getting married to a young man in Winterfell. His father may have betrayed the Starks but so did I, and she had no trouble falling in love with me.
Perhaps my wish for her to finally be happy came true.
Cercei pushed me out of the room when she finally finished with me. She always did this. She thought she was keeping me interested but toying with me, which was the case for a time. Now I am just glad to finally be outside.
I was a broken man.
I did not feel any better after being with Cercei, only worse. I wonder what Audelia would say now.
She would be disappointed. Angry.
But perhaps she wouldn't care.
I made my way to a secluded place by the sea where I was supposed to meet Bronn to train. I was a little sceptical as I doubted he would be able to keep a secret but Tyrion had promised me he would.
I sat by the shore waiting for him, while playing with a pair of rocks.
It hurt so much.
Truth was, I didn't remember that much of her face anymore. So much time has passed. The sound of her voice began to fade from my memory, the way she touched me. I could barely remember it. I didn't remember what she smelled like anymore.
All I remembered was how her blue Tully eyes looked like when I broke her heart.
I would never forget them.
"Is this place safe?", I ask as I see an approaching Bronn. I grab the pouch of gold and throw it to him, he catches it with ease.
"There is this knight, Laygood? Got thunderbolts on his shield?", replied Bronn and I nodd, understanding who he was talking about.
"Right here is where I fuck his wife. She is a screamer, that one", he concluded and I wish I could say I was surprised.
I wasn't.
"If they don't hear her, they won't hear us".
I picked up the sword father gifted me. Although I felt guilty about using it, I couldn't let a good Valyrian steel sword go to waste. If the Gods are kind, perhaps I would see Audelia again, then I would give her the sword. For now, it belonged to me.
I heard Bronn whistle as I warmed my hand up, turning the sword and cutting the air.
"I've never seen Valyrian steel before. She is a beauty", said Bronn. "Problem is, if you fight with an edge blade, I'll have to. And if I fight with an edge blade, I'll have no one left to pay me".
I send him a look but gave in, putting my sword away. Bronn dropped my sparring sword on the opposite side of me and walked past me, looking me up and down.
"I haven't used a sparring sword since I was 9", I murmured. I went to pick up the sword but Bronn hit me with his on my hand.
"Ah. Bold warrior you are, attacking a man with his guard down", I said, picking up the sword quickly as Bronn went to attack me.
"When it's time to attack a man", he said, and our swords clashed together.
A few clashes alter, he pushed me against the rocks.
"Mind yourself", I heard him say.
I felt so stiff and wrong. All of my movement were awkward, and incorrect. I did not know how to fight with my left. My body and mind did not know how to fight with my left. All of my instincts are wrong.
I would never be able to fight the same.
"I still have my right hand", I seethed as I felt myself get angry. Annoyed at myself mostly.
"Plan on growing it back?", asked Bronn, continuing our training.
It was excruciating. If I had my right hand everything would be so much easier.
Perhaps Joffrey would still be alive.
Hours passed but me and Bronn never stopped. I could tell I was getting tired but I needed to work. I needed to train my hand as much as possible. And I needed to get my mind off of everything.
Joffrey's death.
Fucking Cercei.
Audelia getting married.
It was all getting too much.
Finally I was able to somewhat outsmart Bronn, and I looked at him triumphantly with a smirk. Until he wiped it off my face. Literally. He took my new hand and slapped me across the face.
"The hell was that?", I ask as I try to get up from the ground.
"That was me, knocking your ass to the dirt, with your own hand", replied Bronn, passing me my hand and walking away.
"You are a rare talent, when fighting cripples anyway", I say, murmuring the last part.
"You learned to fight like a good little boy. I bet that thrust in the Mad King's back was pretty as a picture", said Bronn as I was putting my hand back on. I looked at him, a little taken aback that he was complimenting me on killing my King.
"You want to fight pretty, or do you want to win?", asked Bronn and I tugged at my hand.
"Do you talk to my brother this way?", I asked.
"All the time. He got used to it", replied Bronn, drinking his wine. He walked to me, passing me the pouch. I declined.
I had to drink less wine.
"Do you think he did it?", I ask unsurely.
"Nah. No he hated the little twat, sure. Who didn't?", asked Bronn and I had to agree with him. Even I disliked him.
"And poison is not his style. Or murder for that matter", he continued.
"You want to know for sure, why don't you ask him?".
I looked at him unsurely once more, and got up to walk away.
"You haven't been to see him yet, aye?".
"We are done for today", I announce, going up the stairs and back to the castle.
"Your brother ever tell you how I came into his service?", asked Bronn suddenly when I was on top of the stairs. I stopped, listening but didn't turn back.
"Trial by combat at the Eyrie", I reply.
"Aye. But only when Lady Arryn demanded that trial take place that day. You were his first choice", continued Bronn and I turned back to look at him.
"He named you for his champion because he knew that you would ride day and night to come fight for him".
I looked down at the ground and then towards the castle. I knew what I had to do.
I had to see Tyrion.
The cell he was being kept in was dirty, floor had old hay on it, and there was a bucket in the corner. I grimaced at it when I walked in. I looked around as the door behind me closed, until I saw him. My little brother.
His back was against the pole as he was sitting with his arms crossed, staring into nowhere.
"Truth is, this isn't so bad. Four walls, a pot to piss in.", I begin as I sit down opposite of him with a grunt.
"I was chained to a wooden post covered in my own shit and piss for months.", I continue.
"Is that supposed to make me feel better", he asked sarcastically.
"Maybe a little bit", I reply with a small half smile. I played with my fake hand.
"Sorry I didn't come sooner. It's complicated".
"Yes. So how is our sister?", asked Tyrion.
"How do you think? Her son died in her arms", I reply.
"Her son?", he repeated and I clenched my jaw as I look back at him.
"Don't", I warn him. "You know what's coming?".
"My trial for regicide, I know", he replied. "Yes I know. I know the whole bloody country thinks I'm guilty. I know that one f my three judges wished me dead more times than I can count and that judge is my father. As for Cercei, she is probably working on a way to avoid trial all together by having me killed".
"Now that you mention it, she did ask", I joke.
"So, should I turn around and close my eyes?", asked Tyrion and I realized what he was thinking when I came in.
"Depends. Did you do it?", I ask genuinely.
"The Kingslayer brother. You like it? I like it", he continued and I rolled my eyes. He always had a knack to make jokes out of the worst situations. "Are you really asking if I killed your son?".
"Are you really asking if I would kill my brother?", I asked back.
"How can I help you?", I ask.
"Well, let me think. You could set me free", he said and I chuckled.
"You know I can't", I reply.
"Then there is nothing really else to say", he said and stood up.
"What do you want me to do? Kill the guards? Sneak you out of the city in the back of a cart? I am the Lord Commander of the Kingsguard.", I reply.
"Sorry. I'd forgotten. I'd hate for you to do something inappropriate", he bit back.
"Inappropriate? You're accused of killing the king. Freeing you is treason", I replied.
"Except I didn't do it", he insisted.
"Which is why we are having a trial", I argue.
"Ah a trial. If the killed threw himself before the Iron Chair and confessed his crimes and gave irrefutable evidence of his guilt it wouldn't matter to Cercei", said Tyrion, raising his voice a little.
"She won't rest until my head's on a spike", insisted Tyrion.
"Not just yours", I insist. "She is offering a knighthood to whomever finds Sansa Stark".
"Sansa couldn't have done this", he argued.
"She had more reason than anyone in the Seven Kingdoms", I reply.
"No she did not", argued Tyrion and I looked up at him confused.
"Your beloved?", he asked and I stood in a split second.
"Do not mix her into this. Audelia had nothing to do with this", I whisper yell at him. He was a little taken aback by my sudden anger, I could tell but he was trying to hide it.
"So you don't think she did this?", he asked.
"She did not", I announce. "She is on the other side of the world right now".
"How do you know?".
"Because Lord Baelish told me she was getting married to Lord Bolton's son", I whisper, getting back on the ground.
"Oh Jaime", whispered Tyrion as he put a hand on my shoulder.
"Audelia is not a killer", I insist. He nods, accepting my answer.
"Not yet anyway", he added.
"I will see what I can do. I should probably go now before Cercei finds out and wants to put my head on a spike", I joke and get up.
"Good Luck. You will need it", said Tyrion and I looked at him sympathetically.
As I walked down the halls, one of the servants informed me that Cercei wanted to see me. Again?
"You've sent for me, your Grace?", I ask coldly as I walk in.
I was scared. I didn't want her to force me again.
"Your Grace. How formal of you", she replied.
I felt my breathing increase as I watched her. I did not want to be here. I knew I would be powerless if she were to force me. And I would feel even worse.
"How many Kingsguards are posted outside Tommen's door?", she asked.
"Ser Thoros is on duty tonight, I believe", I replied shortly.
"One? You have one man guarding the future King?", asked Cercei forcefully. I gulped and stood a little straighter by the doorway.
"I promise you, Tommen is safe", I assure her and move to open the door to leave.
"The way Joffrey was safe?", asked Cercei and I stopped. She turned to look at me.
"Why did Catelyn Stark set you free?", asked Cercei. "I've been wondering for months. Ever since that great cow brought you back to the capital you haven't even looked at me. What does the Stark bitch have that I don't? We have been together since the womb, Jaime. I am beautiful, and smart, and not the daughter of a traitor, or the sister of the King that got killed. I am part of the greatest House of Westeros, and she is one of the last Starks. Yet you still love her".
"I do", I reply finally. "I will always love her".
"Well, in that case I may have to order Littlefinger to get rid of her", she announced making my eyes snap to her.
"Don't you dare", I whisper.
"What stops me? I wouldn't be surprised if she is the one behind Joffrey's murder.", she continued.
"If you kill her, I will leave you", I threaten. "I will leave King's Landing and go far away from everything, you of all".
"We both know you would never do that", she said with a smile. "You are too weak to leave your children and me. You love us".
"I love Tommen, I love Myrcella. But I never loved you", I seethe, and her smile disappeared. "I love Audelia, she is the only one for me".
"I am the only one you love", she argued.
"No", I reply.
"You just don't know it yet".