The days leading up to my flight are probably the slowest 192 hours I've ever had to endure. After texting Emerson, I received an ear-piercing scream phone call about how excited she was, which just twisted my stomach more.
God, I've never had my stomach twist so much until I met Zach, and now everything relating to him makes me knot in both good and bad ways.
Not only was the wait up to the flight horrendous, but the flight itself took me out. I was stuck in a middle seat between some sort of startup CEO who is terrible at his job and an "18 month old" child who continued to scream for 4 hours at the top of her lungs. If I decided to tune out the baby, I got stuck with how "more than half the company won't hit quota" and "how HR would have a field day with his relationship with his intern." But the thoughts of all of that fade away the second I hear the first note of Eben's voice as he begins to open the show.
As of right now, I'm standing in the pit with possibly the clammiest hands I've ever had in my life as Emerson links my arm. She's been coming to shows on and off ever since the tour started, but today, she refused to stay backstage and insists on standing with me. The longer Eben's set goes on, the more my body fights the urge to run straight to the door. I know in a few minutes, Zach is going to pop up on the stage, and I'll have to resist trying to not jump up on the stage and kiss him till he's lightheaded.
I shake my thoughts as I start to sing along to one of my closest friend's music. I've always been a fan of E's music; I think I liked his music even more than the bands at one point. Whenever I would come over and cook for the group, he'd sit with me and just sing. Whenever he was contemplating a new song idea, I was the first he'd call. It's weird the amount of distance between us now, with all the boys for that matter. I spent every waking moment with them to only get 5 minute long calls because I was scared.
I realized I was spacing again because Emerson tapped me on the shoulder, looking at me, concerned. The crowds buzzing with excitement which means Eben probably got off stage a few minutes ago.
"Are you okay?" She asks, pushing some hair of mine behind my shoulder.
"Fine, just super nervous." I reply, squeezing her forearm.
She breaks out in a grin, "Well, don't pee your pants before we see your future husband-" But she's cut off by the sound of familiar boops at the beginning of one of my favorite songs.
"Oh, she talks so sweet, like sugar, like candy
Makes me wanna be the best man that I can be
I like that she keeps things oh-so simple
Less stress, more uh, if she got the dimples."
And there he is. Zach has that smile that makes my knees almost give out on me from how hard I'm swooning. It feels so close to deja vu, but it's not quite there yet. This song played in my headphones the very first time we met that started this entire mess of what has to come to be Zach and I's relationship. His eyes are closed as he sings into the mic. I'm entranced with everything this boy does, but his stage presence, PHEW.
The song continues, and I sing along. I try to focus on the other boys, but my eyes draw to Zach, just watching him intake the crowd like it's a drug of adrenaline. They play two more songs that I scream too, trying my best to enjoy my time at the concert without letting my intestines tangle anymore.
"HELLOOOO DENVER." Daniel says into his mic, and I can feel the whole arena blush at the mere sight of him.
"We missed y'all. How are you guys feeling?" Corbyn smiles, making the crowd scream in unison. He nods in response, "We feel the same way."
Jonah waits for the crowd to call down before saying his piece. "So, we've been thinking and we want you guys to decide the next song. It's between Be Myself and In Too Deep, but since we love them both equally, why not let you guys choose? So, are you ready?"
Emerson leans over and whispers to me, "They didn't know if they could play either of them. So to piss off Randy, they went ahead and did this. They also made Eben set up the tracks, which got him so pissed, Zack had to hide his camera because Eben kept throwing shoes trying to aim for anyone on the bus." She giggles. The boys' photographer's thought hiding from Eben is funny enough to get a laugh out of me. I look back up when I hear Jack speak.
"Can we hear it for Be Myself?" Jack yells out, making the arena roared. The boys soak in the sound, sending smiles to each other.
"Alright, can we hear it for In Too Deep?" Jack yells again, but this time the arena shakes in anticipation. I don't partake in the scream contest, but I hoped they would choose this song internally.
Zach smiles at the boys, making my heart melt. "In Too Deep, it is."
I sing along as I hear the boys harmonize to the melody of my all-time favorite song. They've officially won the spot in my heart for my favorite band from this song alone. I watch the stage as they pour emotion into every word they sing. Zach's eyes open up as he looks around the crowd. He scans, and he studies, and right before he put his head back down, our eyes lock, just like the very first time. I feel the same way as I did the very first time.
Fucking impossible.
I try my hardest to look away and try to do anything else. But, I've said it before, and I'll repeat it, Zachary Dean Herron's eyes are addictive. If you maintain eye contact for longer than approximately 0.95 milliseconds, you stay lost in them forever. I can't tear them away no matter how hard I try. He lets go of our eye contact and looks back into the crowd. But I itch for that feeling of them back on mine. As they continue playing the setlist, I catch glances from him every once in a while. He never smiles or smirks, just pure awe that I'm even here.
I guess I'm looking at him the same. I can't help it, but every time I look at him, my heart flutters. He's just so.. Zach. Someone who is so uniquely themself. Someone who will ice skate with me, ask me to take them on a date after 2 seconds of knowing them, and will watch the same movies countless times on repeat.
He's MY perfect guy.
It sucks that it took me so long to realize it. It took me being mistreated, 2 months of absolute misery, and a random stranger in my favorite bookstore to sit here in the middle of sweaty teenagers to realize that he's the definition of my perfect guy.
The song ends but Zach still keeps his eye on me. It's not until Corbyn walks over that he breaks eye contact. They both whisper something that none of us can make out until Corbyn looks up at the crowd and speaks into the mic,
"I'm sorry for the disruption guys but give us ONE second."
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(Zach's POV)
I want so badly to rub my eyes or have someone pinch me because there is absolutely no way Kira Jade is standing here in Denver, Colorado, watching my show.
She looks as beautiful as ever, and I just about lost my breath the second I landed my eyes on her. She's standing next to Em on the leftmost side of the pit; she looks just as stunned to see me. I'm trying my hardest to pull away from my gaze, but I can't. She's got some hold on me. It's not until the song finishes, and Corbyn nudges me discreetly that I snap out of it and look back into the crowd.
"You okay bro?" Corbyn whispers, moving his mic out of earshot. He looks concerned, like I'm oozing black ink from my eyes. He rubs the sweat off his forehead as he waits for me to answer.
I nod my head, "I'm good, I think Kira is here." I swallow, trying to accept the fact the girl I love, who I haven't even seen a picture of in months, is suddenly 30 feet away.
His mouth opens slightly, "No way." He scans the crowd in an attempt to look for her.
"Way. Left side of pit, 1st row next to Em." I nod over to the area where she is. He looks over and then looks back at me. I don't think he sees her but my look enough makes him sure she's here. He puts his mic to his mouth to announce to the whole crowd. "I'm sorry for the disruption guys but give us ONE second."
We group huddle just in time for Corbyn to spit out, "Did any of you know Kira would somehow show up at this concert?"
"Jade? Like as in KJ Kira?" Jack whispers, confused.
I slap my forehead, "Which other Kira do we know?"
"I might know something." Jonah whispers so quietly we can barely hear him.
Daniel smacks him in the chest, "And you didn't think to tell us?"
"Well, it was going to be a surprise but clearly you decided to stop our whole show so it's not the biggest surprise anymore." Jonah rolls his eyes like we ruined his master plan.
"If this goes to shit, it's your fault." I point at him.
"I TRY HELPING YOU ONE TIME-" He angrily whispers.
Corbyn cuts him off, "We are back Denver! apologizes, we were discussing some top secret music for y'all but let's keep this party rolling!"
As I continue to mindlessly sing, I glance over at Ira, who is still looking at me. Her eyes look almost glazed over as she watches me with anticipation, or maybe I'm mistaken, but to me,
It looks like love in her eyes.
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word count: 1761
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~ nish