I just had a wakeup call
Wishing that I never let you fall
Baby you’re not to blame at all
When I’m the one that pushed you away
How Do I Breathe –Mario
I watch as my home of nine years disappears from the review mirror, just go John, and don’t turn around. I repeat in my head, the further I go the thicker the air gets making it hard to breathe it was suffocating the thought of never being with Liz again. “This isn’t right…” I utter under my breath, the street was starting to blur with the tears in my eyes.
Finally at a save enough distance, I pull over to the curb laying my head on the stirring wheel. “I can’t do this…” I utter to myself, feeling like shit for leaving the love of my life out in the rain like that. Liz has been there through everything, if only I could tell her. That’s when the tears start streaming down my face just like her, why can’t I have both?
“They both mean the world to me…how do I choose?” Taking in a sharp breath pulling back the tears, no matter how much I hurt, I cannot show it.
Nothing feels right on the way to the hotel, I have had Liz in my life since I was a teenager. How would I function without her? Her smile flashes before my eyes, I choke back tears as it switches to the face from tonight, completely vulnerable and afraid.
There it was, The Garrison Inn Boutique, its brownstone building just as I remember all those times I came here with Liz. The rows and rows of windows all lite up, with happy customers mostly couples celebrating their anniversaries, just like we use to.
“John, where are you taking me?” Liz asks giggling in the thick night, my hands over her eyes chuckling at her childlike behavior as she bounces under my arms. The cars fly by in busy Newburyport, the city was buzzing tonight, moving my hands we stare up at the brick building.
“Happy anniversary, Love!” I exclaim, jumping in front of the building with my hands out wide doing the spirit fingers with my goofy smile I know she has a weak spot in her heart for.
“What’s this place, Dork?” she asks laughing, hitting my shoulder as the people around us stare like we are out of our minds.
Pulling her in by the waist, she was pressing against my body, there was no place on earth I’d rather be then here with her in my arms. Those blue eyes of hers stare up at me, “This is where my parents went for their honeymoon, and they swear this place is where all the forever couples go. And let’s face it babe, you’re stuck with me forever!” I wink with a smirk, she rolls her eyes.
“Only because no one else will have you,” Her serious look quickly drops and like a child she throws her head back laughing hard as I glare at her jokingly. “This is sweet of you to bring me here, I love you John…” Her smile softens and we get in one of our rare serious moments, “Forever, and not only because I have to!”
My smile widens as I stare at the face of an angel, this woman was perfection, no matter what anyone said. “I love you so much more, Liz…” her arms wrap around my neck tightly, her soft lips against mine my grip on her waist tightening with passion as I lift her off the floor to carry her inside.
“Monsieur Cena, is it your anniversary already?” The French owner, Monsieur Garrison, asks flipping through papers trying to find the date. I blink plainly trying to recall entering the building, “I knew it was close, but is it the 11th already?” My eyes close to the scent of lavender that never fails to surround the lobby, Liz’s favorite smell.
“Sorry, what?” I ask, looking around the hotel it’s been almost a year since I’d been here. The lobby floors still wood, the brick wall that had an arch leading into the dining room and the out of style chandler that for some reason Liz thought was adorable above the tables for two. Whoever thought of the design should really update it. It belongs in the 70’s.
“Are you okay, Monsieur Cena? You don’t look so well…” He pauses, I rub my eyes hoping it will make me a little more presentable.
“Long night, that’s all.” I give a reassuring smile, he nods slowly before typing on his keyboard.
“Where’s the misses?” He flashes his white smile at me, slicking back his graying hair. I could feel the color drain from my face, why did she have to pick this hotel out of all places?
“Um, home.”
“Aw, that’s too bad. You two are my favorite couple, I have your guys room booked for you ten years from now on July 11th. You guys are one of the rare ones, Cecilia and I always say so! Just like us, John, you are a lucky man.” The guilt rises in me, as I stare at him his brows furrowing at the screen.
“It’s under McMahon this time, Stephanie McMahon…” I utter as I rub my hair back, his eyes shoot up to mine and he stares stern for a few minutes. I knew what he was thinking and I couldn’t correct him, things were bad and I knew it.
After one man to another stare, he goes back to the computer the deepest silence I’ve ever felt fills the room while his jaw tightens. Needing something to watch, I stare into the dining room that Liz and I have spent plenty of time in.
“Are you sure you like the place?” I ask a little skeptical, my parents forgot to mention the fact the place was designed before even they were born.
“John, I love it.” She smiles, while I pull the white chair out for her, it has an oversized back like an ugly throne. “You worry too much,” she points out, while I take a seat across from her just a small round black table separating us.
“I know but have you seen the place?” I whisper not wanting to offend anyone that actually likes it, she laughs looking around once more. “Look at the carpet.” I point down, she giggles more at the black carpet with plaid white stripes throughout them.
“You know I’m old fashioned, it’s charming to me!” Her eyes were shining with truth so I couldn’t argue, “If you really don’t like it that much, we can go somewhere else.” She offers but I knew it wasn’t what she wanted.
“If you love it…then I guess I can get used to the hideous thing.” Her face pouts at me making fun of her taste, “I’m glad I didn’t let you design the house though!” I poke more and the edges of her lips twitch as she fights back a smile, kicking me under the table.
The key was finally coming my way, reaching for it he jerks it back momentarily. “That Liz is one of the greats, you only get three great women in your lifetime, John. Yous two are special, don’t give that up.” The tension was building as he stares me down even more, his judgment clear.
Walking down the narrow hall his words refuse to leave, Liz was one of the greats, and I was in fact giving her up. For what, Stephanie? This wasn’t fair… if I asked her to leave Hunter she would throw a fit but I’m expected to just obey like a soldier at war. Standing in front of the door, I take a sharp breath before sliding the card into the slot and yanking it out. The light blinks green, before I push my way in.
There in front of me was a cozy room, a queen size bed in the middle of the room with a brick fireplace directly across from it. Perfect for romantic meetings, the plasma hung above the fireplace, and again with that ugly carpet that wouldn’t let Liz’s face go away.
Quickly I pull the phone from my pocket and dial her number, “Hello?” her voice finally picks up almost as though I interrupted something important.
“Hey, it’s me…”
“Is it done?” she asks in a low whisper voice, I bite my lip. My answer would make it permanent, is that what I really want?
“Yeah.”
-X- READ ME -X-
Ohmigosh! Is Cena cheating? :O
Thanks so much everyone that commented on the last one! Means so much to me.
Vote. Comment. Please? -puppy dog face- :)
Dedicated to AlwaysLoveHoran for being so awesome and rushing me to get this out :) Also...she likes pie.
(Country songs for Liz and since Cena likes mainly rap and R&B he gets R&B songs)
Sidenote- italics are flashbacks for anyone that wasn't aware.