In no way am I saying that underaged drinking or self harm is okay anywhere. It's just for the sake of the story.
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Sirius woke up with a start. Remus' head was on his shoulder and James was laying side ways on his chair, Peter who had Darling last was shaking Sirius awake frantically.
"what?" his drowsy voice woke up James. The two boys squinted at the sun light before their eyes opened.
"Pads.. Dorea's gone and so is Darling" Peter said his eyes were wide. Sirius didn't say anything just sat straight up, his drowsiness missing and his breathing quickened. He shook Remus up.
"what pads?" he groaned
"get up Mooney"
The boys ran out of the sun beamed room frantically checking the map. They searched for Dorea's name and after unfolding it a second time they found it.
"she's in the owlery?" Peter questioned
"dude she's in the owlery." James repeated Sirius' world quickly shrank. They ran to the owlery only to hear laughing as they approached the stairs. Only to hear Dorea's laugh echoing in the tall tower. Moments before they had thought they were too late, maybe someone had come to the rescue before they had.
***
Around 3 am that night the two had returned to the castle, they had walked the corridors before an older Gryffindor stumbled on the two. That boy had been running from Minnie and he shoved the bottles and all of their contents into Regulus' arms. He began to run, Dorea and Regulus following not knowing what they were running from. They ended up rounding back to the owlery as a good hiding spot. They sat beside the bench on the floor wondering what to do with the bottle.
"you know reggie, what's the harm?"
"Bear you know the harm"
"who cares anymore though.. we only have so long to live right?" Dorea smirked at him "life's too short to live with regrets"
"and we only have 4 more years.."
"why the heck not Reggie?" Regulus popped open the fowl liquid and sniffed it. His entire face squeezing into a ball as his nostrils burned.
"how do adults drink this?" his face still scrunched as Dorea took the bottle from him rather harshly and began to chug the burning liquid. The clear contents flew down her throat like water on a slide. It splashed on the roof of her mouth burning her nose. As she tipped the bottle down her faced squeezed together just as Reggies had.
"how was it Bear?"
"it felt hot, and chemically, but good. The feeling was, good." She handed one the bottle they'd opened to Regulus and he took a sip. The night continued just like that. One sip after the other, not knowing how to stop. The burning sensation in their throats and mouths made them feel like they were people again. It made them forget their troubles and just exist. And foir that one solem night they chugged their troubles away. For those hours they couldn't remember a time before this, they couldn't remember their betrayals or the trauma, they were just existing barely even real.
***
James rushed up the stairs to see Regulus and Dorea leaned onto each other half asleep. The two would periodically laugh at something the other mumbled even if it was nothing.
"do you know why the koalla fell from the tree?" Regulus muttered, his words slurring together barely keeping his laughter under control. Dorea began to giggle just from him speaking but she responded with "no..why" Regulus choked on his laughter and barely made out "cause-it was dEad" the two burst into a fit of giggles.
"that wasn't even funny" Sirius yelled not knowing what was going on, only hearing his brothers tired washed voice. only thinking he was tired. Man was he wrong.
3 bottles of hard liquor surrounded the two and sticking smudges were scattered on the two's faces and clothes. The floor had alcohol spilled on it and their hair looked like a hurricane had come.
Sirius rounded the stairs only to see thew disaster. Just to see his brother and cousin huddled laughing, surrounded by alcohol. The smell alone was enough to make him nauseaus.
James started to laugh quietly at the scene.
"oh fuck, oh holy fuck, shit no" Remus cursed as he saw them. Peter wanted to throw up from the smell.
"what the fuck do we do?" James asked holding in his laughter
"I have no clue.." Sirius responded his eyes glued to the two. Wondering what the hell went down in the few hours he was asleep. Darling was sat on the bench looking annoyed and tired, her tail had alcohol stuck to it and she looked very upset. peter picked the poor cat up and began to whisper and pet her.
"take them to the room of requirement?" Remus suggested. James drug the two kids to the room. The two stumbling, Sirius picked up Regulus after he tripped for the third time. Remus picked up Dorea so she didn't fall like Regulus. The two still muttered to each other their heads banged against each other as the older boys carried them, their eyes matched each others. So different yet equal. They laughed as the older boys held them and carried them to the old dusted room. To wash away their illusion of happiness and yank them by their ankles to their own reality. The reality that somehow felt more real now.
When it was only Regulus who knew of their fate he could pretend it wasn't real, he could pretend that it would never happen. He could pretend that everything was going to be okay. When it was only Regulus who suffered alone he could pretend that his parents didn't beat him, like his home life was perfect and that he didn't struggle every day to not cut himself. He'd cut himself to feel something. he needed to feel something. He needed something to fill up the numbness, he'd cut himself because he believed whenever he did anything wrong, whether that's stepping on a bug or yelling at someone he loves he deserved punishment. That's what he grew up with. He didn't deserve love, happiness, wellness even.
His head clanked against Dorea's, it'd been 2 hours since either had drank a drop of alcohol, they'd plowed through it quickly. He was slowly being released back to reality but held onto the last drops of adreneline, of hope as his conciousness returned and his giddiness faded. He passed out in Sirius' arms and soon Dorea did the same.
***
The two woke up in the room of requirement they were both on couches and a glass of water was in front of both. Sirius and Remus were sitting on the coffee table between them looking annoyed at them.
"what the hell were you two thinking?" Sirius started. The headaches in their heads growing worse, their eyesight blurry as the moved their heads.
"yeah what the hell? You're 13, honestly what went through your heads?"
"uh" was all Dorea could get out
"don't even start young lady, leaving the hospital win g? You scared us, we'd thought you'd already jumped" Remus continued
"wait what? Jumped?" she muttered sitting up her hand on her forehead and her eyes squinted "you thought I'd killed myself?"
"yeah"
"no no dude I couldn't do that to my cat"
"wow okay all you think about is your cat, not us?"
"yeah I care about darling a shit ton more than I care about you guys" she said her filter nonexistent at that moment. Sirius laughed quietly so only Remus could hear. "also you're not my dad I can do what i want"
"we're the only ones looking out for you guys! Plus Dorea we know you drug Regulus into this!" Sirius said exhasperated
"I'd never"
"fucking liar" Sirius rolled his eyes
"oh hush it's not like I couldn't have said no if I didn't want to drink" Regulus said drowsily flopping his head in the couch cusion. "could you guys be any louder?"
"OH YEAH YOU DON'T LIKE THAT REGGIE? WELL THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DRINK" Sirius yelled next to his ear which Regulus swatted away and groaned.
"yeah guys shut up" Dorea said laying back down on the couch.
"you're lucky we were the ones who found you and not fucking Dumbledore you would've been expelled" said Remus
"how'd you even get such strong alcohol?" Sirius questioned
"I don't know we were walking in the halls and some kid gave it to us" muttered Regulus into the couch
"did you ask for it?" Remus spoke
"no he was running and just gave it to us" Dorea mumbled
"you guys are going to get all of us in such big trouble you know that?" Sirius sighed
"yeah yeah bladdy blah you're upset and dissapointed we get it"
"awfully rude for someone who is relying on us to not tell the proffesors" Sirius shot back at Dorea
"go ahead I don't care"
"of course you care" Sirius responded
"nope. if I get expelled I'm just getting what I want" she paused and shifted in the couch comfortably. "to go home to my mother" Sirius sighed and raised a hand to his forehead rubbing it intensly
"you haven't abandoned that idea yet? After your entire night of idiocracy you haven't forgotten that reckless choice?" he groaned
"why would you care?" she said into the couch arm
"because it's dangerous, and wouldn't be a safe enviroment for a thirteen year old" Remus responded
"you think my home was ever safe? My mother is sick, I can't just leave her there to rot"
"you aren't leaving her, you are not responsible for her actions." Remus continued
"honestly Puff you're starting to act like your mother, how you say she's been acting" Sirius said before realizing what he'd done. Remus' eyes widened. Dorea raised her arm and scratched her back anticlimatically, releasing the tention from the room as if she didn't care about anything he'd said. As if she was saying fuck you to the world.
"sure. sure I do, I don't care"
"but you do puff, you do care"
"if I act like her so much why don't you send me home to her? If I'm sop much like her why don't you treat me the same way you treat her? Like all of the other family members you hate, why don't you call me a blood supremisisist and cuss me out? Why don't you pretend I don't exist i don't need you looking out for me all the time" she said tiredly into the cusion.
"because you aren't like them, you are more than just your family Puff. You've never been like them, you can escape ypu can do it, come live with James, you'll be happier there"
"why don't you take your own advice?"
"I can't leave Reg-"
"and I can't leave my sisters, or my mother, i can't leave just like you. We're in the same boat my friend. You desperatly want to leave but can't and so do I but you're brave and courageous. Why don't you just do it yourself?" she sounded bored "what's the matter tough guy? I thought you were big and strong and fearless? What's holding you back? What's keeping you with all of this filth, with all of this filth?" she said sarcastically. Sirius scoffed
"Pads not now" Remus muttered but Sirius didn't listen.
"what if I did?" he yelled "what if I left and never spoke to you again, you say you don't need me, after all I've done for you. i can't keep feeling sorry for you I can't. I've done everything I can Puff? Why can't you just listen to me"
"because you make it sound like everything's so easy, like everything's a piece of cake." her face was still face down in the couch and her tone was bored.
"god why do make everything so difficult we're offering you a way out, both of you! Why don't you man up and take it"
Multiple angry mutters escaped the two hungover teens as they lade face down on old couches wanting silence.
"why don't you two just listen to me"
"listen to yourself Siri, I love you and all but Bears got a point. Why don't you take your advice for a change stop telling everyone else how to live their lives and live your own" Regulus muttered annoyed into the couch.
"I have helped you both for years, protected you, and after all I've done for you." He scoffed and left the room Remus chasing after Sirius trying to calm him down and as the door slammed their silence became real. A true silence took the hall, it was empty. Dorea and Regulus' hearts were emptier than before they had drank. They felt useless, defeated.
The world was never fair, and time is an equal opponent. because as the two lay there in the dead silent hall they knew their lives were over. They were tied to the ground with handcuffs and ducktape over their mouths. They couldn't move, couldn't breathe. Connected to a boulder that sunk deep into the freezing depths.
They didn't know that what they'd done would affect their entire lives. They had blew their chance, and now reality would set in. The world would never spin the same as Sirius told the other two mauraders what had happened as anger over took him. After all he'd done for them. The two kids were clueless on how big of a mistake they'd made, because this was no longer an easy game. The game was just beginning.
Dorea and Regulus were blown two steps back from the tightrope, as Sirius jumped one more. One toe away from the other side. The wind blew the two this way and that. But they didn't try to balance anymore, they were prepared to just fall. Let gravity, Earths forces push them off the edge, ready for the wind to take their meaningless lives from them and enter eternal silence.
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Dude-
this chapter is so freaking essential I've rewritten it like thrity times and I still don't know if this is good enough but I hope it is.
Sorry it's been a little bit.
My sister went to state ( track and feild) yesterday and she placed 5th!! The boys team from our town got 2nd overall!!
I hope you all have had a good day
Have a good day/night
-Caroline