I can't sleep anymore. My mind is back to being on constant alert, which I was hoping wouldn't happen since we're here—we're safe for now, but it doesn't feel like it.
It's strange. Things have felt almost normal, like a little dream we've been getting to live and pretend we're a normal couple. Except for the moments when we watch the news, ARTI gives me an alert, or any time we hear so much as a floorboard creak, both of us ready are ready to run or fight in the blink of an eye.
There's still something more. I keep trying to find the words to explain it to Peter, but I can't. It feels stupid to call it a 'gut feeling' when it's so much more. Something about what's happening in the world just does't settle well. It feels wrong to see Steve's name—his suit, his shield, his legacy being given away like it's nothing more than a hand-me-down.
It only makes it worse that I have a bad feeling about the man they chose. There's something in his eyes when he feigns humility. A deep rooted anger in the way he carries himself. I know because I saw it in my mother—in Claire—every day. It's a bitterness that lives deep in someone's soul, like a piece of tinder waiting for a spark, and it turns into an inferno that destroys everything in its path.
Not to mention, the 'flag smashers' and the havoc their creating. It just spells out disaster in bright neon letters. "ARTI?" I ask and fiddle with the corners of the couch pillow in my lap, "Can you monitor the GRC's communication channels, and see if they have information about how Karli and her friends got their hands on super solider serum?"
"Lia?" Peter questions as he leans against the wall. "Can't sleep again?"
"What gave it away?" I chuckle and stare at ARTI's projections. "I just—I figured I'd try to see if I can piece together a few more things. I've mapped out most of the network and history, but there's pieces that don't make any sense. There's times where they made leaps where the data only shows steps, and I still have no leads as to who is managing and funding it all.
"The only thing I know is that OSCORPS is the one managing, but there's still someone pulling the puppet strings. I mean, the data goes pretty far back, which makes me wonder if maybe someone like Hydra was initially funding it. Of course, that can't be the case any more. Otherwise they would have been a lot more brazen these past few years, and it'd mean they'd be coming after me themselves."
"Maybe, but look at how much you have figured out." Peter reassures, sensing my frustration. He points to the data popping up about the new super soldier serum. "You think it's connected, huh?"
"It's just a hunch, but yeah." I pull up more of the details. "This isn't just the kind of thing that happens by chance. You can't just create something like that without having a place to start, and only someone in the trials would be sick enough to go through what it takes to get there. And I know you're gonna hate this idea, but it's all we have at the moment."
Peter just stares back at me with determination and resolve, and without hesitation asks, "What's the plan?"
"We take a risk—a huge one, track down Sam and Bucky, find out what they know, share what we have, and see if we can get a fresh lead that won't needlessly risk more lives."
"Then let's do it."
"You do realize they're gonna be under surveillance by at least the GRC and the wannabe Cap, right?"
"Yeah, but it's we take a chance now or later."
"I just wonder if I'm starting to get reckless." I tell him honestly. "I'm just tired of running, Pete. Because the longer we keep hiding and running, the more danger it puts our families in, the harder it will be to clear our names, to go back to a semblance of normal, to live without constantly looking over our shoulders waiting for the next threat. I just—what if when this is all over, it's too late for us to bounce back?"
"Then, I guess we figure out how to bounce back together."
"I know, but you shouldn't have to bounce back." I sigh and pull at my hair. "I should have stepped in and stopped Beck sooner, and I know you're gonna say, 'no, you couldn't have, and even if you could there's no changing it. So we can't just keep dwelling on it.'"
"You're right. That's exactly what I was gonna say."
"Doesn't mean it's not on my list of regrets. It's fine, or at least, it will be. We just gotta get through this first." I offer him a sad smile. "Right now, we need to focus on keeping up appearances. It's gonna be next to impossible to talk to Sam and Bucky without getting arrested. So, our best chance is to bide our time, keep causing trouble, and chase down our current leads."
"Okay. Where do we wanna go first."
I pause, looking over the map. "Ever wanted to visit Switzerland?"
"No. What's it like?"
"I haven't been, but I hear it's quite nice. Although, with the Reaper still on our tale, we won't exactly have time for sightseeing." I zoom in on the map. "There's a hub there that I've been working on cracking and taking out, and now that you're here, maybe we can actually save people and make it out with some viable information."
"You really think we're ready for that?" He questions, and I can see the worry tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Maybe not yet, but by the time we get there, we will be." I grab his hand. "I promised when we left that we'll make it home when all this is done, and I'm not giving up on that yet. It may take a while to get there, but we will."
"I know we will." He offers me a soft smile as he tugs me to my feet. "Now, c'mon, you need to get some sleep while we're still relatively safe. You can have ARTI keep watch, and I'll be there with you the whole time."
"Okay." I sigh and curl into his embrace. "I don't want to leave yet."
"I know, but like you said, we can only stay for so long before people are in danger."
"Yeah. It was just nice to have a moment of make believe and normal." Peter's arms tighten around me. "Do you think we'll be able to have this for real one day? That we can live like two normal people? You know, eat fish and chips while arguing over which movie to watch, falling asleep halfway through whatever we end up picking, and just being happy because we're together."
"I know we can." He whispers and presses a kiss to the top of my head. It makes me halfway smile as I listen to the sound of his heartbeat and let it lull me to sleep.
It's cold when I wake up, and it only takes me a split second to realize it's because Peter's not here. Immediately, my whole body goes into panic mode as I grab my glasses and run out into the living area. "Pete?!" I shout, voice filled with panic.
He rounds the corner the same moment I do, and it's only his reflexes that keep us from falling to the ground. I try to cover up my panic. "Hey," he whispers as his eyes look over my features. "It's okay. I'm right here. Nothing happened."
Tears threaten to spill as I hold on to him as tightly as possible. "I know. I'm sorry. I just—I just woke up, and you were gone."
"It's okay. I was hoping to get it all set up before you got up, but clearly that didn't work. I'm sorry for scaring you, but—" He whispers and grabs my hand, "—I have something for you."
"Wait." I stop in the middle of the hallway. "Did you leave?"
"No, I asked Valkyrie to go get what I needed. She didn't seem to mind." I feel a bit of the worry and tension release from my shoulders. "Now, can I show you the surprise?"
I nod and let him guide me into the kitchen. There's nothing out of the order, and I just stare at Peter trying to figure out what he could have gotten. All he does is smile though as he opens up the fridge and pulls out a single, perfect, chocolate cupcake with a candle on top.
"I'm still lost. What's with the cupcake?"
"Well, I know things haven't been easy or great while you were gone, and I know you've missed a lot of things." Peter takes my hand for a second. "Plus, I know this is the closest you've gotten to normal in a long time, and we'll have to leave soon. So I figured I would give you as much as I can while it lasts.
"Starting with celebrating your birthday." He tells me as he lights the candle, and I just stare at him in awe. "Here. Make a wish."
I turn and watch the flame flicker for a second. Despite everything going on and all that I could want, all I have is one small wish. All I want is a chance to have more moments like this—more small bits of normal and happy. My eyes close as I blow out the candle, and I stay like that for a moment.
There's a sense of calm and reassurance as I feel an arm settle over my shoulder. For a second, I think it's Peter before I remember he's still holding my hand. Panic begins to rise before I smell my Dad's cologne and hear his voice faintly whisper, "I'm proud of you, kids."
I immediately turn around, but all that's there is empty space. My mind races trying to figure out what just happened or if I'm going crazy. "Was that—? Did you—did you feel that too?" Peter asks, and I know he can tell by the look on my face that I had the same experience.
"Do you think it was—that it was really him?" I ask feeling as happy as I did when he used to do that after a long day in the lab. "It was, right?"
"I don't know." He says and shakes his head, but I know he's starting to believe it too. "Either way, this isn't quite the end of what I have planned. I have a sort-of-gift for you."
"Not to ruin whatever it may be, but we can't carry much more with us." I sigh and grab his hand.
"Don't worry. I've already thought of that." He smiles and squeezes my hand. "It's something I got you while you were still gone. You know what, it's just easier to show you."
I lean against the counter and watch as he rushes into the living room and closes the curtains. His enthusiasm is contagious, and I find myself giggling at the way he practically bounces in excitement and drags me to the living room to show me whatever it is.
"Okay. Can I take your glasses off?" He asks as he hesitantly reaches for them. I can't help but smile at how courteous he is as he slides them off my face and sets them on the table. "ARTI? You ready?"
"I am. Is there a specific place I should start?" ARTI questions and starts a blank projection.
"Yeah, I think it's best we start with the one marked 'home.'" I look at Peter, trying to figure out what on earth is going one.
My answer comes when an image of Mum and Morgan appears. I grab Peter's hand as the tears brim in my eyes. "Happy birthday!" They both cheer, and I let out a sob.
Morgan ends up starting the conversation. "Hi, Lia! I miss you a whole lots, but I know you gotta save the world—like Daddy did. Are you coming home soon?" Mum whispers something to her, and she beams with happiness. "I made a drawing for you!"
She runs off—likely to retrieve it, and Mum takes advantage of the opportunity. "Hey, sweetheart. I know you can't tell us anything for our safety, but I hope you're okay. As hard as this is—I want you to know I'm so proud of you. You remind me so much of your dad. He was every bit as stubborn and caring as you are.
"I know what you're doing can feel impossible, but I believe in you. Like your Dad always said, 'Starks can do anything they put their mind to.' Just make sure you come home at the end of it all. Okay?"
She must have heard Morgan's footsteps because a second later, my baby sister comes back into the frame. I watch and listen in wonder as she tells me about everything that's happened since I left. All I can think the whole time is how much she's grown and how much I missed her.
It only feels like a second before they have to say goodbye. "Love you, Lia!" They both cheer and wave, and I turn to Peter, tears streaming down my face.
"Thank you." I whisper as I nuzzle my face into his neck. "Thank you so so much."
Peter's hand rubs circles on my back, "You're welcome, but that's not the only video. I have a whole bunch."
"Wait, really?" I ask and begin to tear up even more as the array of videos are displayed. From what I can see there's some from Happy, Will and Trish, Rhodey, Harley, Ned, MJ, Sam, and even Bucky. "Do—do you think we have time to watch them all?"
"Yeah, if not, I'm sure we can make time." He replies and presses a kiss to the top of my head as ARTI plays another video.
We spend most of the day like that. The pair of us curled up on the couch together as we savor the little bits of life—of home—while we still can.