Harry
********
Breathe me in, breathe me out
I don't know if I could ever go without
********
Yesterday I didn't feel like myself and I still don't, we got to our hotel and we all got our own rooms, except for esme and Patrick which for sure has something to do with Patrick, Esme tried and refused to stay in the same room with him but she ended up just staying with him after Matthew had a talk with her
we left the hotel around 5:30, we did sound check and I got dressed I was still very sluggish and I knew everyone could tell, I didn't want to be there and I still don't, right now I just wanna go back to before tour and how things were with esme, when we were together and not separated
when I got on stage I instantly wanted to get off of it, if I wasn't feeling like myself then the crowd would notice and I wouldn't give them all I could it made me feel terrible and I tried to put a smile on my face and dance around like a maniac like usual but my body didn't have it in me
I was drained
when I woke up I felt the cold and empty side of the bed where esme should be, I didn't want to get out of bed, I'm miserable I didn't know how much she affected me till now
I stayed in bed for a good hour and a half until I heard someone knock on my door and I bolted to it, maybe it was esme
when I open the door I see Nialls face and I feel a wave of sadness hit me, "what's got you all pouty thought you'd be happy to see me" he looks at me with a serious expression and I turn to walk back into my room, I hear the door shut and I see niall walk in behind me
I sit on the edge of the bed and he leans against the door, "pass me my whiskey in my bag" I point to it with my hand and he tilts his head, "it's 10 in the morning?" he says concerned and I scoff, "not like its stopped us before" I shake my head and I motion to my bag
"what's on your mind?" he says ignoring my request and he sits next to me, "nothing" I lie and I stare off into space looking at the beige wall in front of me
"so this state your in has nothing to do with why esme was all cuddly to Patrick, and why they now have a room together?" he says and I don't say anything,
"mate what the hell is going on" I hear Niall speak a few minutes later and I stand up as I pace the room, "Matthew caught us and now he's punishing the both of us" I say vaguely and he looks confused
"Matthew found out about esme and I, so he's making esme and Patrick be together in public but Patrick doesn't just want to be with her in public he's making it his mission to try and get her back" I say as my tone gets more and more angry
" what are you gonna do?" he asks and I stop in my tracks, "theres nothing I can do" I say and he stands up, "what do you mean, you have to do something" I see him snap and I shake my head, "no I literally can't" I try and say without spilling too much
"don't you care about her?" he asks and I let out a breath, "yes thats why I can't do anything" I yell and he pushes me, I push him back and he steps towards me, "go fuck yourself" Niall scoffs and I start to feel my heartbeat increase
"Niall you have no idea what you're talking about" I snap and I feel a hit to my jaw, I feel the pain emerge and it turns into anger, I punch him harder and he falls to the ground, I stand over him and I hear the door knob turn, "Harry" I hear esmes voice ring in my ear and I turn to the door
"later esme" I speak coldly and I hear her voice again, "I need to talk to you" I hear the knob twist harder and I grunt walking to the door, I open the door and I see her, she didn't get any sleep it looks like and I see some bruising on her biceps, her eyes dart to niall and she gasps
"Harry" she lets out in a concerned tone and she pushes past me, my eyes on the bruises still, did Matthew do this?. Patrick?
"Niall are you alright?" she leans down to him and I see some blood on his lip, "I'm okay tell your boyfriend to chill out with the right hook" he says and her eyes look to mine, "you did this?" she whispers and I look away
"What are those bruises from?" I ask her and she looks at her arms, "I fell" she mumbles and I scoff, "didn't know we were lying to each other now" I say in anger and she looks down, "we're going to the studio in an hour, Niall come on I'll clean you up" esme avoids me and she lifts niall up, he walks with her to the door and I call her name out
she looks towards me and I find my eyes look down to her bruises once again, "I'll kill whoever did that" I say stern and she shakes her head, "you don't need to, I'll be okay" she lets out and she shuts the door behind her
***
When I step into the studio I feel the warmth spread around me, its just like the one back home, where the band and I wrote our first album that seems like forever ago and so many good memories come with that
I feel my back relax in the brown leather couch and I lean back taking out my notebook, absolutely nothing comes to mind, my canvas is blank just like everything else lately
I see esme across from me, she's wearing a pretty white sundress, Patrick sits right next to her of course and her eyes stay on mine, her bruises are now covered up to what seems like make up, I see my eyes drift down her body and I see her legs spread open just tiny bit so I can see her black laced underwear
I've missed her, and her body of course I don't know how I've gone this long without tasting her in anyway, I look down to myself and I see my bulge growing slightly just at the thought of her
I look back to in between her legs and I hear her cough, she caught me
I see the smirk on her face and I see her hand trail down her thigh slowly and I fix my pants trying to not seem noticeable,
"anyone have any ideas?" I hear Liam speak and I my head shoots to his along with esme, "think I got one" I grunt out and he looks to me, I look back to esme and I stare into her eyes
"taste like strawberries" I start out and I see her mouth widen slightly, "on a summer evenin'" I say out, "and it sounds just like a song" I say what comes to mind and I keep my eyes are her
"I want more berries" referring to her, I feel my eyes travel down her and she shakes her head slightly, "and that summer feelin" I smile and everyone writes the lyrics down, "it's so wonderful and warm" I whisper and I hear her cough squirming in her seat
"breath me in, breath me out" I try not to smirk as my eyes land on her core she tries to cross her legs but I can still see very well, "I don't know if I could ever go without" I say in a seductive tone and I hear Zayn
"I'm just thinking out loud" he says and I shrug, I mean thats what I'm doing, "I don't know if I could ever go without" I sing and I stop after the line, "are we sure this is just about summer" Patrick scoffs as his eyes seep into mine and I smile
"why do you not like summer Patrick?" I ask him and I hear esme laugh quietly making me smile, "I do like summer I'm just making sure thats what its about" he says serious and I laugh, "well what else would it be about hm?" I ask him and I see him tense, "it could be about a person" he says quickly and I lean forward onto my thighs
"care to elaborate?" I ask him and his eyes shoot to esmes body, "esme" he says letting out a breath and I look to her, "she's your girl isn't she?" I ask him and he doesn't say anything, "right, thats what I thought" I tilt my head and I hear Liam and Zayn whistle and I shake my head
"lets write the rest of this song" I finish and they all nod, including esme
..............................
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