Hanji's POV
"Hanji look out!"
I see the colossal titan transform then I see moblit shove me Into a well.
My eyes widened as a bright light consumed my friend....
Then a rock fly's into my eye as I fall down the well....
Soon darkness consumes me....
Moblit.....why did you do it....
Why did you save me?.....
Out of anyone....why me?.....
You could of saved yourself but yet....you chose me....
I open my eyes and sit up from bed....it's been a few weeks since the death my friends....and the heavy lost of many scouts....
The nights have become unbarring....I can't sleep without having the same dream of moblit dying.
Since erwin passed I have become the new commander....I feel so weak and powerless.....
All this guilt has filled up inside me....I should have been the one to go....not moblit....
I sighed then got of bed....I haven't had a peaceful night ever since the day we returned....
I look at my desk and there was a bottle of rum still waiting to be drunk....
I sigh...I needed to clear my mind and that seemed like the best option at the moment.
I fill up a glass cup and start drinking the rum....
Start to feel a little tipsy but I still am able to think straight....I start crying as I keep thinking about my friends.
"Why me....Erwin" I whispered softly.
I lay my head on my desk and stare at my Titan drawings that moblit sketched so long ago....
"Why did you guys leave me.....moblit....erwin"
I drank another glass of rum and just cried my sorrows away....
I heard my door open and it made me jump in surprise but I relaxed seeing Levi standing at the doorway frowning at me.
"What the hell are you doing four eyes"
I sigh "drinking my sorrows away.....wanna join?"
He tchs, closes my door then walks over to me and grabs the rum bottle from my hand.
"Hey!"
He takes it and just holds it looking at me.
I frown "give it back Levi...."
"No...you seem to have enough"
"Shut up!....I need it"
"Do you?"
I stand up and felt a little unbalanced "let me remorse in peace, go clean or do something and leave me alone"
He glares at me "I'm not leaving or giving the rum bottle back"
I glare back at him "why can't you just leave me alone.....I want to be alone"
"You've been alone for 2 weeks hanji...."
"So...."
He sighs "people are getting worried"
"I don't care...."
He tchs "well you should because people are now bugging me about it and it's annoying"
"They wouldn't understand what I have been going through...." I said with a bit of venom in my voice....
"But I do..."
I clench my fists "no you don't....no one does...."
"Hanji they were my friends too..."
I don't know why but I felt angry at Levi....I felt angry at everything....
"If he was your friend why didn't you save him!"
"What?"
"Erwin....why didn't you save him...."
"I was following commands-"
"Bullshit!....you should have saved him!....why didn't you save him!" tears fell down my face as yelled at Levi.
"Hanji...."
"Why didn't you save him!.....why!.....damnit why!" I fell to my knees and yelled in anger....I wasn't angry at Levi....I was angry at myself....
"Why did I have to act so foolishly!....it's all my damn fault!....I should of prevented the colossal titan from shifting but I didn't!....I brought moblit to his end and it's all my damn fault Levi!...." I yelled in agony as everything just came out....
I heard footsteps then I felt Levi pull me into a hug.
I hugged him tightly and cried into his shoulder....
"Levi....why didn't I save them...."
He stayed quiet.
"Levi....why did he save me...."
He stroked my hair "because he wanted you to live....I know moblit and he would have done anything to make sure you were safe"
"I miss them....I feel so lost now..."
Levi looks at me "that makes two of us...."
I was glad I had Levi....he was the only one left....that I kept close to me....
"I'm sorry Levi....it's not your fault....you just followed Erwins commands...."
He sighs "it's fine hanji....I feel guilty too.... having to see all the scouts sacrifice their lives in front of me just so I could take down the beast titan...and I couldn't even do that....he got away....and it's all my fault...."
We are both filled with guilt....a heavy amount that cant ever be lifted....
"Thank you Levi...."
"For what"
"Being alive...."
He sighs "don't thank me....it was Erwins plan..."
I laid my head back on his shoulder "Levi I'm tired...."
"Haven't gotten much sleep?"
I shake my head "none....ever since we returned I couldn't sleep...."
Levi sighs "hanji you should have told me"
"I'm sorry...."
He looks at me "promise to tell me when you feel like this?"
I nod "yeah...."
He then kisses my cheek which sends my face to a crimson red.
"What was that for?" I asked startled.
"My way of saying I promise"
I smile then sigh "Levi...."
"Yeah"
"You Know you are very important to me right?"
He nods "yeah what about it?"
"So please don't leave me...."
He cups my cheek "I'll try shitty glasses"
I laugh softly as he called me shitty glasses.
"You are the same... you're the last one...the one that has lived....after loosing so many comrades I'm thankful you are alive....if I could I would thank moblit.... remember hanji to keep living for him....and for me...he would want you to keep living and pushing forward to end this nightmare....so please for both us don't give up....I can't risk loosing you too....not you...." I heard his voice crack as he said that....
He really was worried....
I hug him "I will try Levi...I'll keep pushing forward so we can put an end to this nightmare and save everyone who is suffering from it as well....I promise"
He nods "thank you...."
I yawn and hug him tightly "now I'm really tired"
He chuckles "alright let's get you in bed"
He picks me up bridal style and carried me to my bed.
He lays me down gently and kisses the top of my head.
"Night commander"
I frown as he called me commander.
"Night midget"
He tchs then leaves my room....I close my eyes and start to drift asleep.
"Hanji look out!"
Not this....not the same dream....
Moblit shoves me Into a well as the colossal Titan transforms.
I yell in my dream "moblit no!"
The bright light engulfs him as I fall down the well.
Why this dream again....why can't I sleep peacefully for once....please....
I wake up and tears are once again falling down my face.....
I sit up and pull my knees close to me and cried softly....
"Levi...."
I wanted Levi to comfort me again so I could go back to sleep....
I get out of bed and walk to his room knocking.
He opens the door and is surprised to see me "hanji?, What's wrong?"
"Can I stay with you....I keep having the same dream of moblit dying...."
He nods "yeah"
He lets me in and I head straight for his bed as he went to his desk.
I lift an eyebrow "aren't you going to sleep?"
He shakes his head "can't sleep either...."
"Insomnia?"
He nods "yep...."
I get up and walk behind him wrapping my arms around his neck....
"What's wrong now four eyes?"
"Lay down with me so we can maybe help eachother sleep"
He nods "ok then"
We both crawl under the sheets and he pulls me close to him.
I hug him tightly and lay my head on his chest.
"Night hanji...."
"Night Levi...."
Everything is black...I can't see anything or anyone....where am I.
"Hanji..."
I turn around and see moblit smiling....
"Moblit?"
He nods then I rush over and hug him "I'm sorry!...I'm so sorry moblit!....I shouldn't have acted so foolishly!"
He sighs "it's alright section commander.....it was unavoidable....I'm just glad you lived"
I look at him "but why?....why did you save me?"
"Because all my time working with the scouts I've always been there for you, helping you with Titan experiments, during battle, on expeditions and when you refused to sleep and eat"
"I don't understand...." I said.
"You were my reason for living! Hanji" he smiled.
"W-what?..."
"What would be the point of living if you weren't alive?....you were the reason I enjoyed my job and lived, I probably wouldn't make it far if it was just me and Levi that survived and besides Levi cared about you...and so did the 104th cadets....I was just by your side"
"Moblit...."
"Don't worry though! I was happy with what I chose, I was happy that I saved you one last time before going....just don't give up....ok?"
I nod "I won't....I promise"
He smiles "also nifa and everyone wishes you the best of luck....they miss you and hope you keep going...."
I smile "tell them I miss them too...."
He smiles "turn around"
I turn around and see everyone smiling at me....
"H-how?"
"We want to get rid of your nightmares so just know we all have no regrets for working with you....we all did our best and that's enough to satisfy us...."
I see nifa and my old squad waving at me...I even see Mike and nanaba smiling as they salute....
"Everyone....thank you" I felt tears falling down my face....
They start to disappear besides one person....
He walks up to and smiles.
"Erwin!" I run over and hug him tightly.
"Hey hanji"
"Why did you choose me?"
He smiles "I believe in you Hanji and I think you will be a good commander, don't have any regrets or feel guilty because of me....don't worry about the legacy I left behind because it doesn't matter....what matters is that you keep leading the scouts to freedom like I did and to never give up....ok, and you are the only one person that Levi tolerates and will listen to....and he also cares about you more than you think....so don't give up on him... alright?"
I nod "ok....I will do my best...for you and moblit and the scouts...."
I hug both moblit and Erwin....I will miss them dearly....
"Well it's almost time for us to go so please remember hanji to keep fighting and to never give up without a fight" moblit says smiling.
I nod as they slowly start disappearing.....
"Levi will take care of you along the way....he will be my replacement for you....and he will fight by your side not leaving it like I did"
I nod "thank you guys...for everything"
They salute and soon disappear....I smile as I salute saying goodbye to my friends....
I wake up crying....not sad tears but Happy tears....
Levi was still asleep and I just smiled....I hug his chest tightly.....
Thank you Levi......