chapter nine // tear in my heart
late july, 1983
"JAMES! JAMES! WHERE are you?" Lauren laughed as she burst through the front doors of the Potter's flat, Adelia was hoisted on one hip and a diaper bag resting on the other.
Lauren's eyebrows arched as she got no reply, silently she set her daughter down and told her to stay at the front door. It was unusual for James to never reply, most of the time he and Harry would come rushing out of the living room, happy to see she and Adelia arrive.
The blonde wandered into the apartment curiously. Maybe he was still sleeping? He tended to sleep in late. Lauren, being sure that was the reason the man was not responding, strode to his bedroom door.
"James, are you sleeping still?" She groaned as she grabbed the knob and turned it, opening the door. "I wanted to let you know that I sent the letter—!"
Lauren's eyes widened in shock as she took in the scene unfolding in front of her eyes. James was awake, he seemed very awake actually. But he seemed quite busy shoving his tongue down someone's throat.
It was quite a scene. The girl, a tall brunette from what Lauren could see was pushed up against James' bedroom wall as he rubbed against her. He switched between kissing her lips and neck as they both groaned into each other's mouths passionately. So passionately that the two didn't even notice the door opening or that there was now another person present.
The blonde staggered back a bit, stuttering as she tried to speak. "I'm sorry—I didn't mean—sorry!"
James finally turned to the open door, mirroring Lauren's expression as he pulled away from the woman in front of him, although his hand still lingered on her waist. "Lauren, bloody hell. Was the door not locked?"
Lauren's eyes remained stuck on the view in front of her, before she blinked rapidly and locked eyes with her friend. "No, it wasn't sorry. I didn't know you had—er—company, I wouldn't have stopped by if I knew."
The man ran a hand through his messy hair and sighed, looking back and forth between the two women. His mouth opened as he tried to speak but Lauren beat him to it.
"I'll be going, sorry about this again. I'll see you later, James. And nice to meet you...?"
The woman's red lips curved into a malicious smile as she looked Lauren up and down, "Celeste Cortez."
Lauren coughed uncomfortably as she looked down at her attire. Dark wash jeans that were 2x too big for her and a pale green blouse. "Right... Celeste."
Before another word could be spoken, Lauren shut the door abruptly and bolted to where she had left her daughter. Adelia had listened to her and was sitting patiently on a rug next to a corner table. In one swift move, Lauren heaved Adelia back onto her hip and rushed out the front door.
Lauren couldn't stop the pit in her stomach no matter how hard she tried on the car ride back home. And she couldn't tell if it was only there because she wanted to tell James about the letter she had written to her parents, or if it was for another reason.
• • •
"Wait—wait, explain that to me again?" Sirius was exasperated as he took a hefty sip of red wine. Currently, he and Lauren were sitting next to each other on one of the many couches in his living room, both in fuzzy socks and large pajamas as they drank an entire bottle of wine, approaching their second.
Lauren guzzled the rest of her wine and began to pour more into her glass as she explained the events that had occurred earlier that day. "God, do you have anything stronger than this?"
"Hey! Nelson! I need the full details, now!" The black-haired man said as he snapped his fingers in her face. "I'll give you stronger shit if you tell me, now act like you're reliving it and get explaining!"
The woman's nose scrunched in disgust. "Not sure I want to relive it." Lauren leaned into Sirius' shoulder and let out a muffled groan. At least he smelled good. But she still wanted to smack the shit out of him.
Sirius wrapped his arm around her shoulder and sighed heavily, breathing in the air around them. "Did it hurt?"
Lauren furrowed her eyebrows, tilting her head and looking up at him. "Did what hurt?"
He didn't reply for a second, and his eyes grew distant as they stared off into space. Finally, he licked his lips and turned back to her. "Seeing him with someone else."
Lauren pondered for a second. Did it hurt? It's not like she liked James, but he was the one she was connected with the most over time, and she was so happy to tell him about the letter. But once she saw them together she felt brushed off, and the fact that he wasn't at least a little bit curious about what she had to say. He would have rather snogged a girl.
"Are we still talking about me?" Lauren asked curiously, trying to avoid the subject as she studied the man's face. "Or is there something you aren't saying?"
Sirius' face ridden of sadness and now held a deep smirk as he hopped off the couch and disappeared into his kitchen, coming out a second later with a bottle of brandy. He flung himself onto the couch and twirled the bottle in his hands, screwing off the lid and taking a big gulp. "Let's get some more alcohol into my system and maybe I'll start spewing out my deepest darkest secrets like a madman."
Lauren's eyes glistened before smiling cheekily, grabbing the bottle and taking a large sip. "And maybe I'll do the same."
As the two each passed the bottle back in forth they decided to play a game to make it more fun. They called it, 'secret for sip'. The rules were simple if you wanted a sip you had to tell a secret. It didn't matter how big or how small, as long as it was a secret.
"Oh—Godric!" Sirius snorted, as his laughs became a wheeze at Lauren's latest secret, it wasn't too funny but the alcohol was getting to the both of them. "You're telling me that you had to piss so bad that you did it in the neighbor's plants!?"
Lauren giggled, slapping Sirius' arm playfully. "Oh put a cork in it! It's not that funny, it was traumatic for those who were watching. I feel quite bad for them, they had to see my bare arse."
He let out a chortle as he passed the bottle to Lauren and wiped his forehead. "Bloody hell, you got me working a sweat, Laur."
She smirked in reply and leaned back into the sofa, looking up at the ceiling of painted stars, Sirius had done them himself when he moved in. "Your turn."
Sirius was quiet for a second, he too was staring up at the ceiling. "I don't think I've ever been in love. Or anyone has been in love with me."
"That's a load of bull." Lauren scoffed, finally averting her eyes back to Sirius. "I bet everyone was in love with you during school. You're the type of guy people see in the corridor once and they fall in love with you."
"Yes, my looks. They fall in love with my looks, and I fall in love with theirs. But not my personality. I was the guy who hooked up with people for fun, I never dated in school, except Marlene Mckinnon in fourth year, but that was for two weeks so it doesn't count."
Lauren grabbed Sirius' shoulders and stared into his pale blue eyes, slurring her words slightly. "Listen to me, Sirius Black. In the past few months, you have become one of my best friends. You are amazing, even if you're one of the most dramatic people I know, I still love you. So get out there and find someone who will love you for you. Because you deserve that. And if you don't find someone, you honestly aren't missing out on anything great. Love is shite."
"I love you too, Laur." Sirius said as he kissed her on the cheek platonically and ran a hand through his silky hair. "Who rained on your love parade?"
Lauren sighed heavily and heaved herself on her elbow, staring off at a distant vase. "The man who got me pregnant."
"Ooh tell me more about this mystery man. Maybe it will make my love life look less pathetic."
"What can I say? I was in love with him for the longest time. Since I was probably 13, he was a year older than me. You know the gist with older guys. He was popular, and a prick. Always got in trouble with the Headmaster and Professors. My parents hated him and his family. I admired him from afar until I had enough courage to go up to him. I finally did it when I was 15, I planned the whole thing from start to finish. Creepy, I know. But it had to be perfect, because I was a great model of what you're supposed to be at CastleBruxo, and he was not. Anyways—we hit it off and fell in love, infatuated some would call it."
Lauren paused, and Sirius pressed for her to go on.
"We were a secret, we kept everything a secret. We even went to the extreme and pretended we hated each other in the presence of our peers. But when we were alone, we were so in love. It was passionate and true. It stayed that way even when we graduated school and during summers. I would sneak off in the late nights when my parents were sleeping. When I finally moved out at 18, I got my own place, and he got his and we would spend every waking moment together when no one was around. But then a year later it got complicated, I got pregnant and we couldn't keep that a secret. We were ruined. And our plan was shattered."
"What!? That's it? You guys just gave up—?"
"Let me finish Sirius." Lauren insisted. "I didn't want to give up, I was willing to go against my parents. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. But he was so set on no one knowing and he also didn't want a kid. He said that if I kept her, he would leave and he wouldn't come back. And so I didn't want him to leave me, so I left him first. I came here to London."
Sirius flung his arms around. "He could have been bluffing!"
"He wasn't. Because he insisted on making an Unbreakable Vow when we turned 17. That if anything were to come in the way of our secret, one of us would leave for the safety of the other. In Brazil, things are different, it isn't like here. It's more dangerous and strict, people do unspeakable things. I loved him, he was my first love, and I haven't loved anyone since. So I had to leave for his safety. My parents would have gone as far as to kill him."
"What?" A voice gasped from beside them. Making Sirius and Lauren jump back. As Lauren turned to the right, all of the alcohol seemed to drain from her system as she took in the looming figure. Shit.
"James. How much did you hear?" Lauren croaked.
"...All of it."
sorry if this chapter is boring, i kinda wanted it to be one where some of lauren's past comes out and alcohol is that best way of doing that ofcc & also a little cliff hanger just cuz i'm so nice :D