a/n: made a few changes at the last part, but i hope y'all like it :)
"I have to tell you something very important — I repeat, very important — but before we dive into that, I need to see Leigh-Anne."
Perrie simply gaped at me, probably shocked into silence — and I don't blame her for that. Her restaurant's closed as of this time, and she's still wearing her work outfit so I assumed that she just got home when I knocked on her door.
"I, ugh," Perrie drawled out, blinking repeatedly, "I'm confused . . . ? I thought you're busy because you didn't pass by the restaurant this morning and lunch. And it's seven right now, and I just got home . . . and you're here."
I cleared my throat awkwardly and fiddled with the hem of my summer dress. "To be honest, I spent the whole day mustering up the courage to face Leigh and apologize to her — and you, actually."
"Me?" Perrie repeated, her eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment. "Why would you need to —"
Her sentence got cut off as I laid my hands on both of her shoulders, looking her in the eye and hoping she could see the sincerity within them. "Perrie, like I said awhile ago — I have a lot to say to you but can you please take me to Leigh?"
XXX
Unless she's just pretending, Leigh isn't happy to see me.
The smile on her face instantly disappeared and was replaced with a blank expression when her eyes met mine, and my heart dropped to my stomach because of that.
"Jade." Leigh went back to typing on her keyboard, only addressing me with a curt nod. "Did you lose any of your belongings again?"
The cold tone made me shiver to the bones. I cut a glance Perrie's way, and the blonde subtly nudges her head toward Leigh as if to tell me to get this over with. I cleared my throat and looked at Leigh again, and I just hoped that she could see how sorry I am right now.
"Leigh," I started. I cleared my throat again and continued, "I'm so sorry about last night. If I had known that Niall's your boyfriend, I would've —"
"Perrie, leave us alone, will you?" Leigh interrupted, lifting her head up to glance at the blonde beside me.
I could tell Perrie was caught off guard at the request (or perhaps a demand?) and I'm on the same boat as well.
Why did Leigh want Perrie to leave us alone? Is she going to shout at me or something?
My body tensed at the thought. Christ, Leigh's going to be the death of me, literally.
Perrie and I made eye contact again, before she finally moved away. Silence accompanied us save for the sound of Perrie's flip-flops sliding across the wooden floor. She paused right after she opened the door, and took a gander at me. I could see it in her eyes the concern. And from that look alone, I know Perrie didn't really want to leave us alone in case a cat fight ensues I'm assuming, but she nodded firmly at me and finally stepped out.
As soon as the door closed, I spun on my heels and mustered up the courage to brave through whatever storm Leigh's going to cast upon me.
A minute after Perrie left, she finally laughed.
The sudden deafening sound coming from her made my heart stop beating for a millisecond. My hand flew to my chest, clutching the fabric of my summer dress as if I'm having a heart attack.
"What the —"
"The look on your face is priceless, Jade Thirlwall!" Leigh bursted into peals of laughter again, covering her mouth with her notebook that laid on the computer desk awhile ago.
"You . . . You're not mad?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in uncertainty.
"Jadey, you think — you think I'm mad at you?" Leigh tried to heave between breaths, still laughing hysterically like a mad woman.
"Aren't you?" I replied, feeling even more confused than ever.
Wiping the tears that managed to escape from her eyes, she giggled again, "Sweetie, you're so adorable. But, no, I'm not mad. This isn't your fault, anyway."
Incredulous, I responded, "I flirted with your boyfriend. You're not mad at me for that?"
"He's not my boyfriend anymore," she said it as if it was obvious. Shaking her head, she spoke again, "I dumped his ass right after you guys left."
Last night still stayed fresh inside my head. I remembered the guilt that consumed me, the horror look on Leigh's face when she found out, and the heated rage that I didn't know Perrie could emanate until last night.
I sighed out heavily, "I'm really sorry, Leigh."
"To be honest, I wasn't really mad," she said, shrugging, "More like hurt, actually. But sure, you could say I'm mad — not at you, though, but at Niall."
"But it was kind of my fault, too."
"How is it your fault, Jade?" A chuckle rumbled in her throat. "What — you're sorry that guys gravitate toward you? Sorry because Niall decided to take you out on a date 'cause you're too goddamn prettier than me — his own girlfriend?"
"Please don't say that," I choked out, realizing now that I'll be crying my eyeballs out any minute now.
"Then what do you want me to say?" Her tone became stern, almost as if she's talking with her jaw clenched. And in that moment, I know she isn't playing anymore.
I know she's also mad at me.
"Just —" I tried to swallow the lump that formed in my throat but for naught as it only grew bigger now that Leigh's staring me down. I breathed out desperately, "Just tell me what you want me to do to make it up to you. Anything!"
Leigh exhaled heavily through her nose and leaned back on her chair; her arms folded in front of her chest; crossing one leg over the other.
"Anything?"
I nodded as I take a few steps toward her, making sure that she sees the sincerity in my gaze up close. Leaning closer and clutching the edge of Leigh's table, I muttered softly, "Anything."
She held my stare, until she closed her eyes and sighed out frustratedly, "Jade, I'm gonna tell you this once, clear?"
My eyebrows bounced. "Tell me what?"
Leigh opened her eyes and held my gaze firmly, like as if she's scrutinizing me. Then she spoke, "Perrie is very special to me."
My grip on the edge of Leigh's table loosened and I took a step back to observe her. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because to her, you are special. But I think you and I both know that, am I correct?" She asked me with a tilted head. But before I could say anything, she barreled on, "Since it's been almost a month now, I think it's safe to say that you know about her short-term memory loss . . . ?"
"Of course," I responded immediately.
She nodded and heaved a sigh, "Perrie — she's . . . she's a strong person. She's probably the strongest person I know. When she feels down, she doesn't show it. She's the type of person that would take a true friend to know what she's genuinely feeling inside, do you understand?"
"Where is this coming from?" I questioned curiously, brows furrowed. "Why are you telling me all this?"
"Because!" She exclaimed, raking a hand over her face before letting it rest on the table, "Perrie likes you but she doesn't deserve someone who gives their attention to others so easily."
It felt like the air has been knocked out of my lungs, rendering me breathless and heaving.
It wasn't a surprise that Leigh told me that Perrie likes me because the blonde already fessed up about it. What shocked me is how Leigh thinks Perrie doesn't deserve me, or perhaps she meant the other way around.
"I —" I closed my mouth, unsure of what to say exactly.
But she doesn't deserve someone who gives their attention to others so easily.
Hearing her say that makes me wonder if she actually knew who I am from the get-go. Did she see pictures of me with different partners on a newspaper stand on a random Tuesday? Did she see a picture of me and Steve online? Did she know everybody in the world thinks I date everyone I see?
My cheeks felt like they're burning and from the look on Leigh's face, I knew she had seen how flustered I've become because of what she just told me; she knew that I'm guilty as hell.
Silence reigned, and I was left with thoughts that could consume me wholly. Leigh probably stayed quiet so I could have time to digest everything she told me.
"I was hurt when I found out that Niall wanted to ask you out." Her voice dropped down to a whisper. "But I was more hurt for Perrie because she really likes you, Jade. And I have never seen her so . . . so enraged when she saw you two alone. At least not since a certain incident happened," she mumbled the last sentence quietly, but I heard her quite clear though I opted not to let her elaborate on it.
It took every breath I could catch to finally speak up, "I like her, too. But I never got the chance to tell her yet."
"You should know . . . ," Leigh said, "With her condition, Perrie needs someone who's patient."
It was meant to be a warning, but to me, it's a challenge; as if Leigh's hinting that there were others who played Perrie's game but brutally lost along the way. The way Leigh said it perfunctorily was as if she'd seen it all unfold before her — Perrie's ex lovers being heartbroken at the end of the day by the infamous Perrie Edwards herself.
But I know I'm different from those people. I know I can be that person . . .
"I want to be that person," I said immediately.
Leigh's face softened at that, almost as if I had finally tore down the last remaining wall she'd built, and smiled warmly.
"Then what the hell are you doing here apologizing to me when you should be apologizing to your future girlfriend, hmm?"
That instigated my first smile for today. And with that, I'm out the door.
Perrie's eyebrows rose in confusion as she watched me stride over her direction. She opened her mouth, about to say something, but I pressed a finger against her lips to silence her.
"Mmph!" Her eyes widened in surprise at the action. But I was too busy drowning myself in her ocean eyes to even gauge what she's trying to say.
"I'm gonna put my finger down," I said, "But when I do, you have to be quiet and hear me out, clear?"
She nodded instantly.
Slowly, I put down my finger, and looked her in the eyes. God, she's even more beautiful up close, I almost forgot how to breathe for a moment.
Ignoring the fluttering in my stomach the moment we locked eyes, I finally spoke, "I don't like Niall. I don't like him at all. In fact, the only reason why I entertained him was because I was jealous of that woman you were talking to last night."
"What wom —"
I cut her off with a glare and raised my index finger threateningly. "What did I say?"
She rolled her eyes and breathed out a mere, "Sorry."
I couldn't help smiling widely at how annoyed she must be feeling right now. "Okay, I know you have short-term memory loss so I know you probably forgot whatever happened last night except for what happened between Niall and I . . . But I honestly hope you'll remember this moment when I say that I like you, too."
I watched as a small gasp escape her plumped lips. Several emotions flickered across her features but the only one that made me feel even more confident was the relief that showed on her face.
"Jade," she spoke softly, shaking her head and looking at me incredulously.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner," I quickly apologized, planting my hands on both her shoulders. "And I'm sorry I'm such an idiot for even doubting your feelings for me the moment I saw you with that woman."
"What woman are you even talking about, Jade Thirlwall?"
A laugh erupted from my throat because of how disoriented she looked right now.
The way she furrowed her brow, the way her lips pouted — everything that she's doing right now is what gave me the courage to do the only thing I've always wanted to do the moment I stepped out of Leigh's lost-and-found cabin and laid eyes on her beautifully cascading blonde hair.
"Perrie Edwards." My voice devolved into a whisper as I slowly leaned closer, switching my gaze down to her lips. A smile was threatening to appear on my face the moment I realized that Perrie was doing the exact same thing. "I am honestly so happy that you forgot about her, but I really hope you don't forget this a few minutes later."
A smile as wide as the horizon splashed across her facial features. And seeing her smile like that lit up a fire inside my chest because this is how it feels to be falling for someone like Perrie Edwards.
She rested her forehead against mine, her eyes boring into my own.
"Jade Thirlwall, I'll be damned if I did" were the only words I heard from her lips before they crashed onto mine.
a/n: uhm ... finally!