I sit with a mug of steaming black tea in my hand, my failed attempt at pancakes staring at me from the kitchen table. Not only did they tear apart but I managed to soak them in oil as well, resulting in a greasy burnt mess.
I pick out the only one from the batch that looks half-decent and smear it with chocolate spread. It's edible. Not nearly as good as my sister makes them but it will do.
"Good morning," Emil grumbles as he enters the kitchen. And of course, he's naked again, covered only by a pair of blue briefs. If I didn't know him any better, I would say he's doing it on purpose.
It's not that I mind starting my mornings with a view of his gorgeous bare back. As long as I don't act on my impulses, it will be ok. I'm not doing anything wrong. Just looking at an awesome specimen of a man. For totally well-intentioned research purposes.
It's not like I imagine his sculptured body when I'm with my boyfriend. My very first boyfriend. Who is also in a bloody good shape. I have nothing to complain about.
Am I being superficial? Probably. But what is a boy to do surrounded by such stunning beauty?
"What? I don't get a 'morning' back?" Emil glares at me through his shoulder.
Did I forget to greet him? Damn! In my defense he is rather distracting today.
"Good morning!" I let out the most cheerful voice I could muster so early in the morning. I even smile for good measure but I have the feeling it comes off as if I'm mocking him. It wasn't my intention at all.
He turns his eyes away from me, even though he has nothing else to do than wait for his water to warm up so he can prepare the usual morning doze of coffee.
I never expected it would be this awkward after I turned him down. I mean, he knows my reasoning so why is he acting like a little bitch?
I clear my throat. "Will you drive me to school today?" It's not an unreasonable request. Why would anything have to change simply because of some tiny little sexual tension sparkling between us? It's not like it wasn't there before. It's just that... now... we're both somewhat more aware of it. Before I thought he was just teasing me, flirting for the sake of it. Now I know he has feelings for me. Real feelings. Strong enough for him to dump my sister if I ask. And that scares me.
He turns around with a mug of freshly brewed coffee. His steel blue eyes look tired, almost desperate.
"Ok..."
I smile. And this time it's genuine.
Our relationship doesn't need to change. We can make it work.
"Cool!" I beam at him as if I just got the greatest Christmas present ever. I take a sip of my tea, slowly, with calculated gracious movements, my lips still pulled in a foolish smile. I avert my eyes towards the window, not actually looking at the sunrise, but more as to not let it show how smug I feel right now.
Emil moves to sit in front of me, his naked chest even more distracting up close. I can't tear my eyes away from him. I know I have to, but I just can't. He just looks way too yummy right now!
I lick my lips, considering how his skin would taste on my tongue... Bad Angel! Bad!
"If I break it off with Svetla, would we still see each other?"
I lift my eyes towards his, shivers running down my spine with the predatory look he's giving me.
"I need to see you, Angel," he says with such tenderness in his voice I feel the urge to jump through the table and smack my lips to his. "Even if you don't want to be mine, I need to see you."
I focus on the mug of tea in my hands, trying not to think of the way his eyes bore a hole into my soul.
"I..." I don't even know what to say. What am I supposed to say to that? "I like you."
I feel his hand on my cheek. He's kneeling before me, leaning closer and closer, and I don't even want to stop him. I want him to kiss me. I need him to kiss me.
"What is going on in here?" My aunt's voice booms through the room. "Emil? What are you doing to my boy?"
"Nothing." His hand withdraws from my cheek, leaving me cold and lonely.
"It doesn't look like nothing to me!"
"It's ok, auntie. No need to worry," I say meeting her gaze.
She scrutinises the two of us, her emotions a mix of confusion and anger.
"Emil!" She points her finger at him. "I do not want to see you in my house anymore! If you keep dating my niece, you will meet her outside of this house! Although, I have the feeling she will not want anything to do with you after what I just saw! You will NOT get anywhere near Angel! You got it? He's barely 17 for fuck's sake! You! You!" She bites her lips as if to refrain herself from saying something she might regret later on. "Get out of my house!" She gestures to the door, her brown eyes on fire. I have never seen her appear more threatening in my life. But yet again, this is the very first time I see her angry.
"Zora..." Emil stands up with a pleading look on his handsome face.
"Out! Now! And do not EVER come back!"
He leaves the kitchen, seeking my eyes with his as he does.
Aunt Zora takes a deep breath and crouches next to me. "Angel, my baby!" She caresses my shoulder in a comforting manner. "How long has this been going on? Is this the first time he tried to kiss you?"
Suddenly I'm out of words. I have no idea what to say. Would Emil get in trouble? I'm legal. It should be ok, right? There're guys his age dating 17-year-old girls and no one bats an eye. Why should it be any different simply because I'm a guy as well?
I try to form the words but nothing comes out. I find it hard to breathe. My chest tightens.
"It's ok, baby! I'm here."
"H-he hasn't..." Breathe, Angel! Breathe! "He hasn't done anything. It was... just a kiss. We haven't..."
"Ok, baby. It's ok." Auntie engulfs me in a hug. She smells like peaches and the scent alone puts me at ease. Or is it the warmth of her arms around my shoulders?
"I... I like him." I try again. This time words come easier, the ache in my heart almost bearable. "I didn't plan to steal sis' boyfriend. He's just... He's so..."
"It's ok, baby! It's not your fault. You haven't done anything wrong," auntie coos in my ear as she strokes my hair.
And I let the tears fall. I haven't cried even on my parents' funeral but right here, right now, I'm crying over a guy. Pathetic.
I try to explain to my aunt how much I like him, how hard I tried not to let it show, but at this point my words come out as muffled sobs.
I realise how selfish I am and yet I still want him. I need him. He's my air, my sunshine. And I'm half-hoping my sister would dump him so I can have the scraps.
~*~
This chapter ends on a sad note as well so here are a few smileys to fix your mood...
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