How It Feels To Truly Be Great
•••
Some people are born for greatness. For others, it's great they were born.
Not to be boastful by any means, but I can confidently say I'm both.
At different times, too. The depth of the human brain can be a real shocker when you sit down to think about it, especially to those with more linear lives.
Rather than the traditional track, I live a life closer to a parabola. It's all the same line, but it heads in two different directions. Multiple sides of the same coin.
On the one hand, you've got (Y/N) (L/N). The girl people know as a friend. She'll give you homework answers or spot you fifty cents in the lunch line. She'd comfort you crying in the bathroom, regardless of if we'd ever met.
This is the me everyone knows. My friends. My teachers. I like her. She's me, she's likable, I'm honored to be her. She works. Her... I suppose it's pretty great she was born.
But on the other hand, you've got Affinity. Superwoman in a white spandex suit. She's known for saving the world and healing pain. She's got a bit of a... bear with me here... affinity for it. She's strong, and she's honest, and most of all, she's also me.
This is the me my parents know. The me my fellow heroes know. Affinity, I have no doubt, was born for greatness.
Together, that's who I am (although at the end of the day, Affinity is only powers and a suit). Two of the same soul completely intertwined.
"Alright, get a load of this one," my friend William said over my shoulder as I grabbed my stuff from my locker after school ended. "I saw a poll on Instagram earlier. Affinity or Atom Eve. Who would win in a fight?"
"Neither of them are villains," I remarked, shoving loose papers and books mindlessly into my bag. I wasn't even sure what I had for homework, so it was safest to grab it all. "They wouldn't fight."
"I didn't make up the question. C'mon, make some effort here. I know you're thinking it. How do their powers interact?"
I closed my locker with a slam and gave him a shrug. "It depends on if Affinity could channel any of Eve's powers. We know she can collect and dispel pain, but would she be able to do it against someone who fights ranged? Someone who can hit without throwing a punch?
"I think Eve's stronger. But Affinity has more resilience and unpredictability. Unstoppable force meets the immovable object."
"You've always got such calculated answers on this stuff. Do you ever think about anything else?" William asked, looking at me like I had sprouted a third eye.
Honestly, no. The answer was undoubtedly no.
"Well, there's always work and-"
Suddenly, my watch chimed with an alert. It was an annoying high pitched ditty that had came terrifyingly close to getting me kicked out of multiple exams, and meant someone somewhere was wreaking havoc. One of the Guardians must've spotted something.
Duty calls.
"I'm sorry, William, I have to take this. Meet you at Burger Mart later?" I called, already taking jogging steps to the nearest bathroom.
"You got it! Mark should be there, if you're finally ready to meet him. Good luck," William sighed. I paused for a moment to watch him walk up to another guy standing at his locker, and then I hauled ass to get ready.
I learned I had powers when I hit the finishing stages of puberty. 14 was a rough year for me, let me tell you.
My pain tolerance increased. That was the first sign. I never got bruises, and rarely cuts. No broken bones, period. And trust me, I was accident prone.
Sign two was strength and agility. I was an awkward kid, no question. You can imagine my surprise when struggling to bench the bar became easily repping weight that would put Olympians to shame, and excelling in most sports.
I was certainly no Omni-Man, but I was far stronger than most of my peers. It's a good thing I never took gym class, or I'd have been royally screwed. It's a lot easier to hide your powers when you aren't using them.
Regardless, these strange traits could've been a fluke. Maybe they were putting mysterious substances into school lunches and it was building me up to peak performance. Maybe I just hadn't realized it before.
It was only when my real powers came in that I recognized what was going on for what it really was.
I was sixteen when I finally recognized the full extent to my powers. About a year ago today, even.
Standing in the school bathroom, whether or not it was in the back area of the school, wearing a super suit was probably one of the most dangerous things I could do. Not because of the feces particles lining the room, but because I had no way to predict if anyone would barge in and see me.
How would I explain that? Just stopping by for a quick piss?
No way Jose.
I took a final look at my suit, feeling like a real big shot, and sighed. Another day, another dollar. Time is of the essence.
I grabbed my shit and hauled ass out to the scene. By hauled ass, I mean ran to my beat up car as fast as I could and took an extra unnecessary ten minutes to get there in traffic.
I wish I could fly.
When I arrived on the scene, it was a bloody fucking massacre.
No hyperbole necessary.
Someone had called a meeting at Guardians HQ. That's what the notification had been for. Naturally, I had to imagine there was an important manner to discuss. Something world-saving and incredibly confidential. And always exciting.
Usually, I showed up too little too late and missed the half of it. This was no different.
"Holy crap," I groaned, bile coming up in my throat. I had seen gore before, and I'd seen more than just blood, but this... this was something else. I was thankful the school lunch had tasted particularly industrial today, or else I might have added grilled cheese to the list of bodily fluids littering the room.
The dim room, which was usually spick and span clean due to the finest janitors money could buy (and Darkwing's surprising obsession with cleaning), was covered in blood. Each and every other guardian, dead on the floor. Decapitated, crushed, split in two. It looked like a collection of the worst Mortal Kombat fatalities in real life.
I slowly walked over to each body individually, hoping with every inch of my life someone would be salvageable. There was no way they were all dead. I can't think of a villain in this universe strong enough to take them all at once.
Spoiler alert, nobody was. Everyone looked completely and utterly dead.
Except... Omni-Man.
It was strange he was here, considering he was so against formally working with us, but there he was. I guess with a threat this bad, they needed all the help they could get. Barely breathing, didn't even stir when I nudged him with my foot.
Jesus Christ, someone took down Omni-Man.
Paranoia began to set in, and I wanted to go home. Be anywhere but there. Someone capable of doing all this damage could be nearby, waiting for the attack.
My brain was fogged and I fought not to hyperventilate. To show the least amount of fear - what if it could smell fear? - and hold it together.
I wasn't equipped for this. This wasn't supposed to happen. The Guardians weren't supposed to die. They were the Guardians for a reason. The world's fiercest protectors. The room felt like it was spinning.
Through the haze, I did the one thing I could think of.
I shakily raised my wrist, touching a small button on the side, and hesitantly reported, "Hey Cecil? Come to HQ right away. There's something you might want to see."
Looks like I wouldn't be making it to Burger Mart later.
"What the hell happened here?" Cecil asked, not directing it toward anyone but the open air. He fought not to let his face betray him as he looked around the room, but I could tell he was just as weirded out (disgusted? as much as I hate to admit it) as I was.
Medics charged in from all angles of the room, rushing to seal and check the bodies. They picked and prodded, and it almost would have seemed insensitive, had these not been seemingly indestructible heroes. Salvaging anything salvageable.
I stood up from my position against the wall, hugging my knees against my chest, and brushed myself off. I had shifted back into my everyday clothes, a red t-shirt and sweats, and hadn't been able to force myself up out of the farthest corner for the past ten minutes.
It was hard enough to force down my anxiety. And barf. And fear that whoever did this would come back to finish me off. I couldn't have handled anything more.
"Someone called an emergency meeting," I explained slowly. "By the time I got here, they were... well, they were..."
"Like this?" Cecil finished for me. From behind him, Donald's eyes darted this way and that, silently analyzing the room.
I nodded, forcing myself to swallow. "Yeah. Like this."
I knew what they were thinking. I was sure it looked incriminating. Who else would know how to get here, sound the alarm (and coincidentally be there at the scene of the crime)?
But we all knew, Cecil included, I wasn't strong enough yet to do this much damage. The thought alone, that someone else could, was terrifying.
I might be great. But there was no amount of great that could fix this.