A/N: sorry if this upload is full of mistakes, I didn't get a chance to check for mistakes but will do so as soon as possible. Feel free to point out any mistakes you find :)
CONFUSING TRUTHS
Now you have my number too.
Seda
I read the message again and before I gave myself the chance to change my mind once again, I hit ‘send’.Sending those seven words to Kieran had taken me over half an hour. I had no idea what to send him. At first, I only typed my name, but then decided it was stupid to do that. Then I wrote a long text but decided against that as well. In the end, and several more attempts later, I settled for something simple.
Mom and Dad hadn’t said much on the drive home, then again, neither had I. The moment he stepped through the front door, Dad disappeared from view and went straight to his office. Mom on the other hand, gave some weak excuse about suffering a migraine, telling me to order in pizza when I got hungry and then she disappeared upstairs to their room. Stranded in the hallway, I kicked off my shoes and hobbled to the kitchen to fetch something to drink. A can of soda in hand, I heard my dad’s voice talking to the phone in his office as I hopped by the door. In the hope of finding out why my parents were acting so weird lately, I strained my ears to catch the gist of the conversation. I had no luck. I could only hear the hum of my dad’s voice. He seemed smart enough to keep his voice down. Then again, I wondered, since when was my dad concerned of anyone overhearing his conversations? He even used to leave his door open in a not-so-distant past. Nonetheless, I didn’t want to get caught and risk an outburst of my father. I decided not to linger around much longer and quickly sought refuge in my bedroom.Half an hour later, I finally found the courage to send that text to Kieran. Clearly, it didn’t take him nearly as long to find the correct reply because almost straight away, my phone vibrated.
“Uhm…thanks. But, who are you again?”
“Oh crap!” I scolded myself for sending the text to the wrong number.
“Sorry, wrong number.” I replied quickly and reached for the napkin on my nightstand. However, before I could double check Kieran’s phone number, my phone vibrated again.
“Sorry. Just kidding. Thanks for the number.
Kieran”
I sighed, both in relief and mock annoyance. I should’ve known I hadn’t sent that text to the wrong number. After all, I triple checked the number, twice!
“Moron! Thanks for the small heart attack.”
“You’re welcome. Have to go. Talk soon. K.” Not even two seconds later, another text arrived. “ps: keep your phone close!”
I wasn’t entirely sure why he’d want me to keep my phone close, but I trusted he had his reasons to tell me to do so. After all, he knew things I didn’t know.
“Will do. Have fun. Seda.”
By lack of anything better to do, I picked up my study books from school and tried to catch up with the subject material I’d be missing while staying at home. I had no idea how much more days of school Mom would let me miss and I did not want to arrive in class without a clue of what the teacher was talking about. I had no interest in mouth-feeding the kids at school more reason to make fun of me. If they wanted to make fun of me, I’d rather have them laugh at me for being a smartass than having the same intelligence level as a smashed insect.
The next morning, Mom woke me from the doorway of my bedroom.
“Seda,” she whispered but even though I heard it, I decided to ignore her. “Seda, wake up,” she tried again. This time, I rolled onto my other side and opened my eyes. I stifled a big yawn while looking up at her.
“Your father and I have to go to another meeting. I called your school and told them you wouldn’t be coming back for the rest of the week. We can see about Monday, depending on how your ankle is by then. Are you going to be okay by yourself?”
Still not fully awake, I nodded.
“Okay. Go back to sleep. We’ll be back in time to make dinner. Remember to take it easy on that ankle. See you tonight.”
“Bye,” I mumbled drowsily and pulled the covers over my head with every intent on going back to sleep. However, even long after my parents left the house, sleep still eluded me and I felt forced to dismiss the hope of catching a few more hours of sleep. By the time I entered the kitchen, it was still only ten in the morning. It had been the first time that my parents left this early for one of their meetings. I still didn’t know what they were about, but if those meetings continued to leave my parents behaving odd any longer, I’d find out on my own. Mom letting me stay at home for an entire week was definitely odd. In all of my seventeen years, Mom had only let me stay at home one day at a time, or maybe two if I had been really sick. My ankle was improving and I had expected to be sent back to school this morning, if not the next day. However, for some reason, Mom just gave me the perfect opportunity to snoop around. If they continued going to their meetings, I wouldn’t even have to worry about looking over my shoulders. I’d have plenty of time to search through files in my dad’s office and maybe even my parents’ bedroom.
I ended up eating breakfast in front of the television. When I was finished, I didn’t bother to shower or to get changed into something other than my pyjamas; I left the television open on a music channel and I went straight to work in my dad’s office.
Between reaching for boxes on shelves higher than my head, and rummaging through folder after folder, I lost track of time. By the time my phone signaled I had a text, I was nearer to pure desperation than I had ever been. Relieved that I had something to distract myself for a minute, I reached in the pocket of my pyjama bottoms and retrieved my phone.
“Are you at school? K.”
I wasn’t surprised when I saw the message was from Kieran. After all, not a lot of people had my number and up until the moment I’d given Kieran my number, no one ever bothered texting me.
“No, at home - until Monday.”
“What are you up to?” Once again, it surprised me how fast Kieran replied. On my prehistoric phone, it took me forever to type a simple text. No wonder we had no dinosaurs left. They all died while waiting for the other to reply to their messages.
“Snooping around. What about you?” I plumped down in my dad’s desk chair. It took Kieran less than one spin to reply.
“Bored. Need a hand?”
Without really considering my response, I sent a text back. “Are you offering?”
One spin later, Kieran’s reply came. “Clearly. Had lunch yet? If not, up for pizza?”
This time, I took my time – six spins – before answering. I wasn’t exactly sure if letting Kieran come over was such a bright idea. If my parents ended up coming home early, what was I supposed to tell that would justify a boy in their house? Our town wasn’t big enough to simply state Kieran was someone they hadn’t met yet. I doubted they would believe he was a boy from school, bringing over some of my homework. Mom and Dad knew I didn’t have any real friends, let alone from the male sex. Then again, if the previous days were of any indication, I’d have the house to myself for at least a few more hours.
“Okay. All help is welcome. And pizza sounds good.”
“Perfect. See you in a few. K.”
After putting my phone away again, I allowed myself a small break. After grabbing another soda, I went to the couch and let my ankle rest on some pillows. I had to reapply Joanne’s ointment, but couldn’t bring myself to hop all the way upstairs only to come back down right away to open the door for Kieran. My ankle would just have to make do without the ointment for a little while longer. Halfway through the second, horrible, music video, my phone rang in my pocket. The caller ID read Kieran.
“Hello?”
“Oh, hey Seda. Do you think you could come out the front door for a second?”
“Sure. Hold on, I’m on my way.”
I didn’t get a chance to ask Kieran why he needed me to go outside because he hung up on me. No one stood at the front door by the time I opened it. I was about to dial Kieran’s number and ask him where he went, when I heard him shout my name.
“Seda! There you are.” Kieran stood three houses away and waved one hand when he saw me. He quickly jogged over to my house.
“Hi?” I chuckled as I opened the door a little more so he could come inside. Vibes of energy radiated off him and I couldn’t help but be affected by them.
“Yeah, sorry about that.” Kieran spoke once inside. “I remembered you told me you lived at Auburn Avenue but I couldn’t recall the number. I searched a few of the mail boxes for your last name but couldn’t find the name Winston on any of them.”
“You’re right. My dad didn’t want our name on the mailbox for some reason. I don’t know. I think it is silly. Anyways,” I said while closing the door. “The living room is that way.”
“Hop on,” Kieran said while turning his back to me.
“What?”
“Hop on my back. I bet you’ve been forcing your ankle today and I won’t have it happen on my watch. So, chop chop. Your chariot awaits.” As he spoke, Kieran bent his knees a little so it’d be easier for me to jump on his back.
“You’re crazy, you know that?”
“So I have been told. Now, come on, the pizza is getting cold.”
“Fine then,” I sighed in defeat. “Just don’t drop me.”
“I won’t. Okay, on three,” Kieran said and started counting. At three, I hopped onto his back like a good child. “See, that wasn’t too bad, was it?” he chuckled while standing up to full height again.
“Whatever,” I tried to sound indifferent as I spoke but I had a really hard time keeping myself from laughing. I hadn’t had a piggy-back ride since I was four or five. After that age, my dad considered me old enough to walk by myself.
“Where do I go?” Kieran wanted to know. “Couch? Kitchen?”
“Couch is fine.”
Kieran placed the pizza box on the coffee table and helped me down onto the couch. He sat down on the edge of the couch and leaned forward to open the pizza box.
“Oh wait,” I said while standing up. “Where are my manners? Can I get you anything to drink?”
Kieran rolled his eyes at me and pulled me back down to the couch. “Seriously? You think I’m going to carry you from the front door to the couch, only to let you go fetch me a drink? Then what was the point of me carrying you here?” Kieran shook his head at me, smiling. “Tell me where to look and I’ll grab the drinks.”
“Kitchen, refrigerator. You can get whatever you want. I’ll just have another soda if you don’t mind.”
“One soda for the lady, coming right up.” Kieran spoke like a waiter and headed for the kitchen.
“I know I have said it no longer than a minute ago, or so,” I spoke a little louder so he could hear me. “But seriously, you’re acting weird today. Did you bump your head on the way here?”
Kieran’s laughter bounced off the walls. “Not that I am aware of.”
“Are you on drugs? Wait, maybe you’re drunk?”
“Neither.”
“Are you always like this?”
Kieran shook his head as he walked back into the living room, carrying two cans of soda. “I didn’t get much sleep though. Well, make that none at all.”
“Oh!” I chuckled. “Sleep deprivation can do that to a person. However, lack of sleep rarely makes me act hyperactive. Usually, when I don’t get enough sleep, I’ll walk around like a grumpy zombie for the entire day.”
“Okay,” Kieran took his seat again. “I didn’t know which pizza you liked so I just went for a regular Margarita. I hope that’s okay? ”
Halfway through our pizza, Kieran grew remarkably quiet next to me. Up until that moment, we had been making fun of the music videos on television. When I turned my head to the left, a smile easily spread on my face. Kieran had fallen asleep. Deciding to leave him sleep, I reached for the duvet on the back of the couch behind me and carefully placed it over Kieran’s legs and chest. Cautious, as not to wake him, I got up. While Kieran was asleep, there wasn’t much left for me to do. After flipping through every channel on television, I came to the conclusion there was nothing on. I wasn’t going to sit through one more lame music video, so I turned the television off. While waiting for Kieran to wake, I’d go upstairs and reapply Joanne’s ointment to my ankle. I tried to make as little noise as possible while limping out of the living room, but I didn’t even make it to the door without rousing Kieran.
“What are you doing?” he mumbled still half asleep.
“I’m going to get something in my bedroom.” I explained, and when he started to get up from the couch as well, I hurriedly added, “Go back to sleep. I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
Instead of doing as he was told, Kieran removed the blanket and stood up. Still rubbing his eyes, he crossed the small distance between us.
“What are you –“
“Hop on!” He instructed while bending down a little.
“But you’re tired! You should catch some sleep.”
He shook his head and patted his shoulder. “Come on.”
“Fine,” I sighed in defeat and hopped on his back. I had no chance winning arguments when Kieran was involved. “You’re one stubborn guy, you know that?”
“I could say the same about you. I don’t get why you’re so set on not giving your ankle any rest.”
“I don’t like to depend on other people.”
“Obviously,” Kieran muttered under his breath. He came to a stop at the top of the staircase. “Which one is yours?”
“The one on the left, by the window.”
Six strides later, Kieran halted in front of my bedroom. “Can I?”
“Sure,” I nodded. “Go ahead.”
Kieran opened the door and walked us into my bedroom. For the first time in a very long while, I tried to imagine what my room would look like through the eyes of someone else. I glanced around quickly and was surprised by how neat my room looked. No doubt that had anything to do with all the time I spent at home. I didn’t have anything better to do than to keep my room clean.The walls didn’t hold pictures or posters because my Dad didn’t want me to ruin the wallpaper. Mom didn’t want my room to be stuffed too much so I didn’t really have anything to decorate it with, to make it mine.
“Oh crap!” I let out when Kieran passed my body length mirror. Up until that moment, I hadn’t paid any attention to my appearance. Kieran had seen me at my worst already, but this time took the cake. I had been so at ease having the house all to myself, that when Kieran announced he’d be coming over, I didn’t think of hopping in the shower first. Even changing into decent clothes would have made a world of difference already.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m still in my pj’s!”
“So?”
“You’re here!” I exclaimed as if that statement explained it all.
“I seriously fail to see the problem at hand.” Kieran gently lowered me from his back and set me on my bed. Immediately, I ran my fingers through my hair in an attempt to smoothen it out a little.
“How about, I look like a mess. Does this make it any clearer for you?” I couldn’t really do much about my pyjamas but I felt relieved that at least, I had picked a new pair of pyjamas the previous night. I would have been twice as humiliated if that hadn’t been the case.
“Seda,” he shook his head while dropping down next to me. His weight made the mattress dip and automatically, I leaned towards him. He smiled. “You’re such a girl.”
“If that’s an insult, trust me, I have heard worse.”
“Not an insult; more of an observation.” Kieran stated matter-of-factly while replacing one of my pillows. “And I think there has yet to be a time when a guy runs away, screaming bloody murder after seeing a girl in pj’s. You’re at home. If you were to come over to my place, would you mind if I was wearing pj’s?”
All of a sudden, I found the scenery outside my window very interesting. If I had to, I’d watch the clouds float by for hours if that was how long it took for the blush to fade from my cheeks. Kieran in Pj’s? Yeah, I could envision that just fine. Meanwhile, a clueless Kieran kicked off his shoes and made himself comfortable against the headboard of my bed. His knee brushed against my back as he stretched his legs out behind me, causing a pleasant shiver to run down my spine.
“Plus,” he continued. “You forget I have seen you after your little one-on-one with the muddy ground last Saturday. Seriously, you shouldn’t worry too much about what you look like.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” I said while facing Kieran as soon as I felt confident enough that most of my blush had faded. Nevertheless, it didn’t matter if my cheeks were still flaming-red or pale as a ghost; Kieran had his eyes closed. It hadn’t taken Kieran long to drift off to sleep once again. As I watched his motionless face, I saw his muscles surrender to fatigue.
Deciding to do what I had come upstairs for in the first place, I scooted away from the foot end and closer to my nightstand so I could take Joanne’s ointment. I tried to move as little as possible while undoing the bandage around my ankle, as not to wake Kieran with the movement of the mattress. While I waited for the ointment to soak in a little, I glanced over at Kieran’s motionless body right next to me. I had to admit that in all the years I’d had my twin-size bed, it never looked this small. In fact, over the years I had loved the abundance of space for me to roll over to my heart’s content, but Kieran’s body filled up my bed to the point where it resembled more of a single bed.
While winding the bandage around my ankle, I felt a sneeze coming up. I tried to hold my breath and pinched my nose closed but still, I couldn’t stop thesneeze. The sound was slightly muffled by my hand and for a moment, I didn’t dare to breathe or move. I waited to lower my hand until I was sure Kieran hadn’t woken up. Counting my lucky stars, I cautiously inhaled as to test if I’d sneeze again. Just when I thought I was in the clear and could finish bandaging my ankle, Kieran stirred next to me. Once again, my hands froze midair. Only, this time it didn’t help. Kieran rolled over onto his side and slung an arm over my chest. With a yelp, I fell backwards under the weight of his arm.
“Kieran?” I whispered, but received no reply. “Kieran? Come on, you have to let me go.” When he still didn’t reply, I nudged his arm gently with my index finger.
“Hmmm?” he mumbled but didn’t open his eyes. Much to my discomfort, he tightened his hold on me.
“God, you’re crushing me.”
In return, he muttered something intelligible.
“What are you doing?” I chuckled lightly when he created a little more space between us before pulling me closer again. I bet he wasn’t even aware of his actions because by then, his breathing had evened out again.
I released a deep breath at the realization I wouldn’t be able to free myself from his hold anytime soon. Giving up, I wiggled a little so I lay more comfortable. I hoped my right arm wouldn’t go numb from being pressed between our bodies.
As I listened to Kieran sleep, I let my mind wander off on its own and I was unable to withhold a chuckle. Figuratively speaking, I had barely ever seen a boy from up close all my life and now, a week after my run in with Kieran, he was in my house – in my bed. Joanne’s little talk came to mind; of when she had told me to look for a boy worthy of my heart but not to limit my options to the boys at school. Had she known about Kieran? He wasn’t from around town, that much was clear to me by now but where was he from? I added this to my mental list of things to ask. When he woke up, and if he was still up to it, we could search through some more boxes in my father’s office. While we would be busy, I’d have the ultimate opportunity to bestow Kieran with questions. I wanted to know where he lived and how he knew Joanne’s family. Scratch that, if he knew Joanne’s family, he had to know Joanne as well, I deduced. Then why did they let me introduce them to each other?Everything that had been happening lately confused me more than I could tell.
Silently, I tapped the fingers of my left hand on my stomach while I waited for Kieran to wake up and free me of my confusion.
The front door slammed shut and my eyes shot open. The first thing I noticed was that my room was dark, the sun no longer lit the sky outside. The second thing I felt was a wave of panic crashing over me because I wasn’t able to move the upper half of my body. A breeze of wind tickled the hair at my ear and when I turned my head, I noticed the reason why I felt trapped in my own bed. Kieran was still fast asleep next to me and hadn’t lessened his hold while… How long had I been asleep for?
Muffled voices penetrated through the closed door of my bedroom. Dad shouted something, but I wasn’t awake enough to figure out the words. Suddenly fully alert, I struggled against Kieran’s hold. I tried to wake Kieran from his deep sleep.
“Kieran,” I whispered loudly while shaking his one arm with much effort. “Come on, wake up.”
My heart pounded in my ears at the thought of either of my parents bursting through my bedroom door, only to find me in bed with a guy – no matter how innocent. I was pretty certain boys had never been part of the bubble they created for me to grow up in.
“Kieran,” I begged in a more urgent whisper; I had to get out of bed right this instant. “Get up! My parents are here!”
“Crap!” Kieran muttered and stood in the middle of my room putting on his shoes before I even had the time to sit upright.
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I’m sorry.”
“That’s not the problem,” I whispered back. “I didn’t mind you catching up on some sleep. I, on the other hand, should’ve managed to stay awake. Or, I should’ve thought of setting an alarm at the least.”
“What time is it anyway?” Kieran wondered while reaching for his phone in the pocket of his jeans.
Glancing at my alarm clock, I replied. “A little past eight.”
“Crap,” Kieran muttered for the second time in only a matter of minutes. “I was supposed to be home an hour ago.” He repeatedly pushed some button on his phone before shoving it back in his pocket. “Battery died. Go figure.”
“Jackson!” Mom’s voice echoed into my room, freezing Kieran and I. “You’re acting as a selfish bastard and I know you know it too!”
My mouth dropped open at the words that had come from my mother’s mouth. She sounded beyond furious, worse than I’d ever witnessed.
“I’m sorry you have to hear this,” I apologized to Kieran. “They’re usually not like this. I’m so sorry you have to witness this.”
“That’s alright,” he whispered back. “Although, I think now is not the right time for me to try and make my escape through the front door.”
I chuckled involuntarily. “Only if you want to be hung in the attic where no one would ever find you.”
“Hmm…” Kieran scratched his chin as if he found himself in deep thought. “I think I’ll pass.”
“I think that’s a wise choice.” I replied with a slight nod of the head. Releasing a sigh, I patted the spot next to me for Kieran to sit. “I’m really sorry about all…this,” I said while pointing to my bedroom door.
Kieran sat down next to me, slung his arm around my back and pulled me close to him. It was probably best to hide out in my room while we waited for the storm downstairs to pass.
“Trudy,” my father’s voice sounded just as livid as my mom’s. “You knew this would happen! We knew this from the start! You can’t just start chickening out now. Eighteen years, that was the deal we agreed to. We both knew what would come after that. Your name is on that contract just as much as mine. Don’t go around blaming me for – “
My dad’s angry rant came to a stop midsentence. Afraid of what would come next, I squeezed my nails into Kieran’s lower arm – an action I wasn’t aware of until he sucked in a breath and unclenched my fingers with his other hand.
“I am –“ I began to apologize but swallowed away the words as my mom’s voice sounded again.
“I’m so sorry, Jackson. Oh my…” she sniffed loud enough for us to hear it up all the way in my room. “I’m so sorry.”
With that, a door slammed shut, I guessed it to be the door to my father’s office. Immediately following, footsteps rushed up the stairs and the sound of another door thrown shut signaled the end of all tumult.
The scene I just witnessed felt so surreal to me that I even wondered if it had happened for real. However, due the fact that Kieran soothingly rubbed my arm and the visible marks my nails had left behind where I dug them in Kieran’s arm, I couldn’t but conclude that I hadn’t dreamed any of it. My parents had the worst fight ever and I didn’t even know what it was about. I felt an unexplainable guilt towards them. Deep down, I couldn’t help but believe their unexpected fight had to be related with my start to look for answers.
Eighteen years, that’s what my father had said. A deal that bound both my parents to do something by the time a so-called contract expired.
More so to myself, I whispered the one thought of which I didn’t want it to have anything to do with the fight I just overheard.
“My eighteenth birthday is in less than two weeks.”
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A/N: Thanks for reading!
Chapter 8 will be uploaded next weekend (Jan. 12 or 13)