i wrote this chapter while listening to old money by lana del rey so if you wanna listen to it while you read this chapter, you can. it really sets the tone for what i wanted to achieve with this chapter.
I stared out the window of my bedroom and watched the rain pour from the grey gloomy sky. Water droplets raced their way down my window pane. The soft sounds of raindrops hitting my balcony calmed my "moving day" nerves.
Last night, I stayed up for hours trying to fall asleep but I couldn't. I tried reading, drinking camomile tea, and I even considered brewing a Sleeping Draught. Sadly, I didn't have all the ingredients I needed to brew the draught so I was stuck counting in my head until I fell asleep.
I'm not sure why I feel so nervous about moving to Massachusetts. All day, there's been a pit in my stomach and every time I think being away from all my friends for a little too long, my heart would race and I would get shortness of breath. It's not like I'm going to alone because I will have Theo, it just won't be the same without everyone else.
"Stella, darling. Are you ready to go?", my father asked.
"Not really", I mumbled.
"You're going to have a great time at Ilvermorny, dear", he said pulling me into a hug. "I know it's unfortunate that you won't be spending summer with your friends, but think about the future. Graduating early is going to show your employers that you are dedicated and very smart"
"I don't feel like I am ready to leave"
"You are ready. If you were going to attend in the fall, you're just going to spend the summer wasting your time in Paris or by the pool"
"What if I want that?"
"Don't be ridiculous", he scoffed, letting go of me. "Starting your university education early is good for you, good for us"
Of course this is about the family name.
"While everyone else is wasting their time, you're going to be getting ahead", he continued. "The Ministry already has their eyes on the mudblood in your class. If you want to be on the Ministry's radar, you're going to have to do whatever it takes to stand out. I can only do so much for you"
"And I am very thankful for your efforts, daddy. I just want-"
"I promise you, dear, you're not going to miss much this summer. Spending your time at Ilvermorny is going to worth it"
"Okay", I sighed.
"Come, your mother is waiting for us downstairs", he said placing his hand on my back and leading me to the door.
When we got to the bottom of the stairs, my mother was standing in the foyer with all of my bags. She had a Burberry coat in her hand and immediately wrapped the coat around me.
"Thank you, mummy"
"You're welcome sweetheart", my mother said giving me a kiss on my cheek. "I can't believe it's raining today. It was such a beautiful day yesterday, I hate how it's so gloomy the day you leave"
"So... Are we ready to go yet?"
"The Notts should be here soon so we can all leave together"
"Oh, I didn't know they were coming with us"
Three knocks hit the front door, making my mother walk away from me to go get the door.
"Must be the Notts", she said grabbing the doorknob to the large double doors. "Draco, dear. Are you here to see Stella before she leaves?"
Draco? I just saw him yesterday. Why is here? Not even Stass is here to see me off.
"Yes, ma'am", replied Draco.
I walked to the door and saw Draco standing in the rain with the hood of his raincoat over his head. His hands were in the pocket of his trousers. His nose was red glowed against his pale skin from the cold rainy weather.
"I'm going to leave you two alone...", my mother said giving me a wink before walking back into the house.
I shut the door behind me and took Draco's hand, walking him a little further from the door because I know my nosy mother and father are going to press their ears against the door to hear what we're talking about.
"I'm sorry to come over without notice", Draco apologized.
"It's okay. We're waiting on Theo and his family anyways"
"Oh..."
"So... Why are you here?"
"I know you're probably wondering why I'm here when Stass hasn't even stopped by"
"Well, she told me last night that it was going to be too painful to watch me leave", I chuckled. "You know how she can be"
"Yeah... I do..."
Draco looked down at his hands and started to play with the silver rings on his fingers.
Not only am I really nervous about moving across the Atlantic, but now I'm nervous for the reasoning behind Draco's surprise visit. Usually, if he wanted to see or talk to me, he would apparate to my bedroom, not my front door. For him to stand out here in the rain and knock on my front door, it means he has something serious to say.
The anticipation is killing me and I just wish he would just come out and say what he wanted to say to me. If he wanted to say goodbye, he could just give me a hug and say his last words to me before I leave. But if he really wanted to just say goodbye, he could've told me last night or send an owl.
"I'm sorry. I'm just really anxious right now", Draco breathed.
Anxious? What is he so anxious about? Is he about to confess to something terrible he did while we were dating? Did he cheat on me with Pansy? Did he kill Louis? Oh my fucking god. He probably murdered Louis. I knew he didn't like him but I didn't think Draco hated Louis enough to be a hit out on him. Why else would he here?
Draco reached for both of my hands and held them gently in his cold pale hands. Goosebumps formed all over my arms and legs from his cold touch against my warm skin. His beautiful blue eyes glistened as he gazed deeply in my eyes.
"For a long time, I didn't know how to open myself up to people", he sighed. "I wasn't sure if I so closed off because there was something wrong with me or because I haven't met the right person. I have spent a lot of time with many girls, but none of them were like you, Stella"
Thanks? I guess? I love being compared to your pass hookups.
"You gave me a safe space to love and express my emotions, even though I still don't express with my words, I was still able to do so with my actions. When I was with you, I was the best version of myself and when we weren't together, I was at my worst"
He bit down on his bottom lip and moved his hand to my cheek, caressing it softly with his thumb.
"I guess what I'm trying to say is... Stella Cordelia Blackwood, I love you. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Before you leave for the summer, I wanted to tell you before it was too late"
The moment I've been waiting for.
"I-"
"Malfoy!", Theo called.
Draco quickly let go of me and placed his hands back in the pocket of his trousers.
Thanks for ruining the moment, Theo.
"Are you here to send me off?", Theo chuckled, giving Draco a hug.
"Yeah... totally", Draco nervously chuckled.
"I'm going to miss you, mate. You have to come and visit us at Ilvermorny"
"Don't worry, I will", he said looking at me.
"Stella!", my father called from inside the house. "Come help with your bags"
"Our daughter isn't a house-elf, Charles", my mother said walking out the front door. "You take them for her. You're than man of the house"
"Juliet, I am not in the mood for your attitude. Our daughter is leaving for university", he said struggling out the door with my bags.
"Daddy, let me help you", I said grabbing a bag from his hand.
"Thank you dear", he said giving me a kiss on the top of my head. "Your mother is no help"
"Don't start with me", my mother sneered.
"Draco, I-"
"I'll see you in the fall, Stell", Draco said cutting me off. "Good luck this summer"
Draco gave me a pat on the back and began to walk away.
A pat on the back? That's all I get? You just told me you love me and you're just going to give me a pat on the back and walk away?
Theo took the bag from my hand and placed his free hand on my back, leading me to our families. I couldn't help but watch Draco walk away. I wanted to tell him that I love him too, but Theo had to show up and ruin everything. Now that our families are here and ready to go, I can't tell Draco how much he means to me.
My parents held each other's hands, ready to disapparate out of Blackwood Estates and to Ilvermorny. The Notts all held onto each other and we were waiting for me.
"Stella, let's go", my father demanded.
"I-I", I stuttered.
Do I leave now and send Draco an owl or do I tell him in person? Everyone is waiting for me and the pressure is on. I know that the second I tell Draco I love him, I'm going to want to stay and leave for uni in the fall. Saying "I love you" and then leaving immediately is fucked up and I don't want to do that to him.
"I'm sorry", I sighed. "I can't do this right now"
I ran down my driveway and chased after Draco. Once I reached him, I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to face me. I threw my arms around Draco's shoulders and kissed his lips. Draco immediately kissed me back, wrapping his arms around my waist and picking me up from the ground. The cold wet rain dripped from our lips. Even in this weather, I was warm in Draco's arms.
"I love you, Stella", Draco cooed. "Always have and always will"
"I love you too, Draco Lucius Malfoy"
"And now you have to go", he pouted.
"What if I don't have to?"
"Don't stay here for me. You have to go. I'll be waiting for you when you come back. I will always wait for you"
"I can't leave you. Not now"
"Yes, you can", he said setting me back on the ground. "If I ever need you, I'll send you an owl. I know you'll come running"
"I love you"
"I know you do", he smiled. "I know"