JENNY:
"You just did the right thing bestie. But I understand why he acted that way. It's not that easy for him to accept the truth that you hide it from him. After all, he did everything to fight for you and have you back." Yura said occasionally patting my back as I cry in her arms.
After the confessing incident, Sehun run away without saying a word or even letting me explain. He just left me there crying in pain realizing that I still love him, that its really him whom my heart wants all the entire time.
"You're saying noona? God! He deserve to be treated like that! After all he did to Jenny? Huh! The nerve?! What an as*h*le!" Chanyeol butt in.
"Yah! Don't be rude, you giant freak!" Yura retorted and he just roll his eyes in response, slumping himself on my bed beside me and play on his phone.
Yura get up and transfer on the other side of the bed, sighing heavily as she get to sit beside me. "Everyone demands and explanation bestie, all of us, especially him because he is your husband..and he loves you. Even Luhan needs it, if ever he manage to live-"
"I know, I know unnie.." I cut her words as I feel the tenderness of pain that slowly stabs me from the inside.
Regret flooded my entirety and I feel really worse. I didn't just lied to Sehun, but also to Luhan. For God's sake, I lied to the two person whom are really important to me.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm going to get insane in any minute thinking of it and that made me call these persons whose giving up some advice, but seems like it worsen the case since they always brought up the lying thingy and especially the death of Luhan whom I'm grieving for the entire time.
If you were to ask me about how I feel about it, about his death? Well, I can say it hurts. It badly hurts like hell, like I want to die along with him for all this pains I'm in right now, and so, I really miss him!
For the year I get to be with him, I can feel my heart have fallen for him already, and that is one reason why I grieve so badly. Anyone won't be as tough as stone not to fall for him since he's too kind, too sweet, too caring and everything.
Luhan, I can say he is an epitome of a perfect husband. For a year I get to spend with him, he treated me nicely, like his real wife. I can feel the love on it and I know its what they call a genuine love.
I know everyone are asking why, and what is really going on here. Though really, some might as well wonder if these are all just a scene or what. And like these friends in front of me, they were also asking the same the entire time since this is the very first time I get to meet them after a year of absence. And so, to answer those questions I'll tell you how and why.
Frankly speaking, I really lost my memory. I really had an accident which brought me to temporary, but badly amnesia which last for a year.
If you're asking how I got my memory back? Then I don't know? All I remember is that I got that weird dream every night after seing Sehun on that busy street and when he confronts me.
Well, the last dream which I had whom I'm really confused is that scene were I've last seen him with Soo Jung, and unfortunately that day where I got into an accident.
Actually that seem like a nightmare but when a great headache attack hit me, that brought me into a confusing thought and vivid memories that's flashing my mind all the entire time, and that continues the next succeeding days which all seems a great surprise to me.
FLASHBACK...
October 11, 9:00 AM
"Jenny..I'm your husband, Sehun.."
"I love you Jenny.."
A voice of a man still plays on my head same with the scene were he kneeled in front of me, showing the ring which he then put on my finger which I didn't get to react.
It's been like nth times where I get to have this dream and everytime I have it, a sort of weird memories slowly piled up inside my head which strangely felt like a real scene.
"Mrs. Shin. Your breakfast is ready!" Ahjummuni called outside and I shoutback in response. "Okay! Thank you Ahjummuni!"
I was at the bathroom, drenching my face with cold water to wash away the uneasiness I feel right now. Seriously, I'm getting confused on why I feel this way and why I think that all of this was just some twisted dreams.
I grab a clean towel at the hanger and wipe my face, grab the knob and open the door after to head through the closet to dress myself. I was busy grabbing things and looking for my favorite t-shirt when suddenly a small envelop dropped on the floor from the top of the closet.
I crouch and pick the thing off the floor and open the lid to take a peek at its content. A photograph caught me by surprise as I finally freed the content of the envelope. It's my husband Yohan and the guy who happens to pester me even in my dreams named Sehun.
I stare at the photo confusedly and at the same time a weird feeling inside me arouses. The two guys look very happy in that photo and its like they were really close. Well, Yohan once told me that they were friends but I didn't get to think that they were as close as this since they look infuriated when they meet everytime.
I graced my finger through the tips of the photo and discover another of it sticking behind the front due to the long keeping. I manage to stick the other one out and gasped in surprise as I saw a photo of Sehun and this girl beside him in a wedding photograph.
My hands were trembling as I keep the photo held tight on my hand. I was really surprise seeing this, seeing no other than me and Sehun on that picture, smiling happily in our wedding suit and gown.
'Wait! What?! So, this means..it's true? T-that Sehun is my husband?'
"NO!" I suddenly blurted out. "No.no.no. T-This c-can't be..Y-Yohan w-won't do this to me. H-He won't lie to me!" I mumbled as tears starts to soak my face.
I unconciously move my feet and manage to slump myself on the bed as I continously weep at the weird thought. I don't know why I feel bad about this. Eventhough I convince my self that this is not true, that maybe this is not me, a part of me still feel that some sort of it was right.
My thoughts were in a mess. I can't think clearly, and so, I decided to end it up by rummaging at my husbands things and look for more answers.
Unlocking all the cabinets, ward robes and finally, his mini office's desk. I found this red box and held it with my both hands while I sit on the bed.
Knowing Yohan, he's not a type who'd hide this thing to me. The moment I caught sight of the box, I feel wierd about it, and so I slowly opened it and another thing surprises me.
It's a ring, a wedding ring to be exact with names 'JENNY & SEHUN' engraved throught it. It's the ring were Sehun keep showing me on my dreams.
'So..this thing proves it...'
And the again..I was struck by a headache which I fainted and woke up with a new me, a new memory keep bothering my mind.
---
Seeing that wedding ring and those photos, and even this memories I have in mind didn't convinced me to believe that this was all just a lie.
Having my memory back trigger me to know more about these questions in my mind. Like, why did Luhan did this to me? Why did he hide the truth. But whatever it is, I know him. Knowing Luhan, he won't do such thing without a valid reason, without freeing me from pain.
Having a hint from my past made me obesessive to find out the truth, and this time one person who came up from my newly acquired thought hinted my mind. This person would be the best source I could deal with to know these questions that keep me hanging from my past.
I halted the car on the parking lot, hopping out of it and walk through the entrance of the building. I glance around the place, it didn't seem to change one bit except the plants that outgrown on the garden for a year. I sighed remembering the times I used to visit this place, and this person whom I really missed for a long time.
"Good afternoon Ma'am! What can I do for you?" A nurse greeted me, smiling cheekily as I made my way near her.
"Uhmm..I have an appointment with M-Mr. Zhang Yixing?" I said, a bit hesitant to tell off his name since I still can't tell whether this memory I have were true, or if that Mr. Zhang really exist.
"Oh! Dr. Zhang is in his office right now." She exclaimed and I sighed in relief knowing I hit the jackpot.
"This way Ma'am. The first door on the right hallway." She instructed and I vowed and thanked her.
I made my way through the hallway and look for Dr. Zhang's office, in a minute I find it and there, I now stood in front of his door, thinking deeply whether to knock and face him, or run away and forget about this concerns I have in mind, but then I find myself barging in instead.
"Tiffany I said I don't want to-" Dr. Zhang trail off.
"Lay..." I said half whispered as I gape at him. He too mirrored that expression but shock is evident on his eyes.
"J-Jenny.." he mutter as he fidgets on his desk. "D-Do you recognize...m-me? I-I mean..d-do you have your memory back...now?"
I didn't answer him, I stood still, starring at him intently, maybe recognizing him fully.
Dr. Zhang, or Lay, from what I remember he is my doctor since then and Luhan's friend and partner who owns this hospital. Among all people, I know he is the best consultant I could rely on finding out the truth, and so I decided to see him.
"O-Oh! H-Have a sit first!" He stammer, motioning me to sit on the chair in front of him.
I do as told and face him, not breaking the eye contact of course. He cleared his throat and speak.
"Uhmm..I-It's been a while. H-How are you?"
"Good. I guess?" I answer and he nodded in response, occasionally licking his lips in uneasiness, I think.
He brought a hand and rub his nape, sighing deeply before he speak again. "Uhmm..Is that really you..Jenny?"
"I-I don't know really. B-But some part of me tells that I am Jenny.." I said bitting my lip in nervous which I don't know why.
I suddenly remember the thing I keep on my pouch that would help me. I fished it out of my purse and put in on his desk.
"Lay..I find it on Yohan's things." I said and he froze realizing what is it.
"The time has come.." he mumbled to himself but enough for me to hear it which I jerk my head.
"I-I mean...you-" he stopped and run a hand through his face.
"Lay..I know you know everything. Please..tell me?" I plead as I stare at him with eagerness.
"I don't think I'm the right person to tell you that. I-"
"But you are my doctor! You know everything, and you do know that this is the right time for me to have my memory back!" I sound a bit desperate at that which he sighed in defeat.
"Promise me one thing." He said.
"I will..just tell me what is it." I answer without much thought.
"Don't hate Yohan after this." He added which I agreed though I don't think I could keep that when I find out the truth.
---
"Hi hon! How was your day?"
Yohan greeted and kissed my cheek as he enter the porch. I smiled in response and respond a kiss on his cheek. "It's good."
"Glad to hear that! What's for dinner?"
"I cook adobo. Your favorite!" I said cheerily but I get a confused response from him which I then cover it up. "Oh! I mean I discover a nice dish to eat. I know it will add up on your favorite list!"
"Ahh..Okay! Let me see then." He smiled and I sighed in relief seeing him buy it.
It's weird. I suddenly thought of that a while ago. Maybe its some sort of memory from my past, and there, I remember it. It's Sehun's favorite dish, originated from my homeland which I now remember clearly.
Though sadness flooded up my mind. I force myself to shrug it off and go on preparing our dinner and face the reality that past is past, and this time, I've decided to leave it and be with the person I'm in right now.
'It's time to move on Jenny. Yohan is your husband, and no one can change that. Not even Sehun.'
---
October 13, 7:00 PM
"Hon. Can I have beer? I feel of beeing drunked today. Will you please let me?" I asked, struggling to make an aegyo that could convince him.
We are now here in this KTV bar that according to him its where we first met. Well, I do remember it also and yes, I can't help but smile when I remember that time.
"Aish! Stop that! You know I can't resist that!" He fake mocked and I laugh at his act.
"Common' it's our anniversary. 5 mugs won't kill!"
"Five what?!" He blurted out and I glared at him.
"Okay! Okay! But in one condition?" he said with a challenging look.
"What?" I asked.
"Beat me in a fist wrestle fight!" He said with a winning look but I laugh at him which he cock his brow and acted mad.
"Humph! You can't beat me!" He curled his arms on his chest.
"Don't be too confident superman." I said and winked at him which he wrinkled his nose.
"Whatever. Lets start. A glass of soju per game!" "But-" "No buts!" And there I zipped my mouth.
We continue that game, and surprisingly, I always win which I got the more shot though Yohan is against it.
I don't drink..too much. But I feel it today. I know this is not a good escape to atleast forget all the problems now but I'm hoping alcohol could somehow erase some of it and when I woke up I'll be the old Hannie Shin again, the one I'm getting used already.
This day is what I think the very best day of my life. Yohan proposed to me, and there I accepted it.
I know its wrong dealing with him though I already have my memory back but I can't help but say yes to ut anyway since I thought that this is the right thing to do. I followed my mind, not my heart...
---
I sit on the floor clutching the hem of my dress as I cried. What I did a while ago was a great mistake. I know Yohan, or Luhan won't agreed to that since he respects me. I know he love me but not to the point that he will do that thing to me.
I know I've been desperate to run away from my past. I've decided to start a new life but this thing is not the best thing to start it up. But then, having a family with Luhan would deffinitely solve this case and there I almost end up giving my entirety to him which he unsurprisingly back out.
I sobbed hard as I again remember how fool I am. It's not that I get rejected, but for the thought that maybe Lay was right. That it's better to let him know about this, to let him free from me, free from the coming pain when the reality gets back and Sehun have me back..
At the Hospital...
"Jenny..I think Luhan has the right to know about this."
"No Lay. I've decided not to tell him about this. Whatever happens I won't leave Luhan. I am his wife now. I am Hannie Shin, not Oh Jenny, and no one can change that!" I retorted.
"But you will just hurt him if you do! I don't think I'm in the right place to tell you this but I am his friend anyway. Please lessen the casualties if you could still do it. In the end he is the only one that will suffer badly, so as Sehun and you." He advised which I just keep my mouth shut.
Lay has a point, but I don't think that would happen if I just keep my promise. Especially now that I know the reason behind this.
Lay told me everything, about the accident and the reason why Luhan hide me, and knowing all of it made me decide to stay still and be the Hannie Shin I believed to be me for a year.
Sehun betrayed me, that's all I know and I won't change my mind and go back to him. I know everything now, and that's enough for me to decide what is right even that means lying to everyone.
I lay on the floor. Clutching the pillow through my stomach and tried to stop the tears. It's been an hour and Yohan hasn't comeback yet.
I'm afraid he go out and drunk himself, though I trust him that he won't do that.
Tired of crying, I unconciously drifted to sleep and didn't get to notice that he's back.
---
Knowing the truth about my past didn't just end up there. Like how Luhan felt nervous on the said meeting, mine were doubled.
The day came were he and Sehun planned to face. He told me that day about it which I do really get surprised. I didn't expect that they made a deal about that.
We were in the coffee shop waiting for Sehun and I really feel uncomfortable on that meet up.
For the nth times I've been pestering Luhan, making some alibis just to cancel the meet up and go home.
Really, I feel weird that day. It feels like something will happen and I caught it right. That day is the day were Soo Jung kidnapped me and unfortunately the day were Luhan died.
I know I made a big mistake of lying here, but you see? I'm not that fully recovered. I mean not totally aware of everything. Some of this was still no clue for me since it's just like a wierd dream on my head.
I can clearly remember everything now, but just a part which explains my true identity, some Sehun's betrayal which I thank Lay for educating me and so my family background.
But, none of that makes sense why did I end up in this situation. Why did Soo Jung hated me? How did I got into a car accident? How did I manage to live away from Korea without my family knowing?
Well, I guess I'm in a memory hunting game right now, solving every bits of puzzles to fully recover my true self. And that I will find out more and escape fron this Great Pretend I'm in.
---
A/N:
I sincerely apologize for the long wait. I've been busy for work this past few days and so I can't gather up some thoughts to construct a good chapter. I'm so sorry. But here, I hope you'll like it. It's too lame though -_-
Thanks for understanding guys!
Love lots,
Janie (*^_^*)