Robert’s body hated him- he couldn’t stop vomiting all morning. Robert guessed he had caught some kind of illness. Robert knew that it couldn’t be food poisoning- for obvious reasons. Robert had a fever, he was shaky and his stomach felt like someone had kicked him over and over again.
Robert curled up into a ball, holding his stomach. Robert sighed, feeling like he was going to vomit once again until suddenly someone pulled back the curtain to his bunk. “Robert- are you alive in there?”.
It was fucking lol- of course, he never knows how to fuck off.
Robert peeked his eyes open, glaring daggers at his band mate. “Sadly. The fuck do you want, cant you see im in the process of dying right now?” Robert hissed venomously; making lol grimaced. “Ah… well, i got you medicine… if you want it..” lol said, offering up the bottle of pepto bizmol. Robert narrowed his eyes before taking the bottle and opening it.
“Robert- wait-” lol said, watching in horror as Robert drank straight from the bottle. Robert closed his eyes, drinking almost half the bottle before pulling away and whipping his mouth. “Thanks.” Robert grumbled, closing the half empty bottle before turning on his side and curling up once more.
“Christ robert- you can't just do that! Haven't you ever heard about overdosing on medicine before?” lol said, glaring at robert; who seemed rather un-phased by lol’s anger. “It’s just pepto bizmol lol… don't get your panties in a twist..” robert grumbled, pulling the curtain closed and hugging his pillow to his chest.
“Jesus..” Robert heard a sigh before simply walking away. Robert sighed, closing his eyes once more as he let sleep take over him; hoping that he would be able to sleep away this illness.
*****
“Nothing but a whore… look at you, robert..” that familiar voice hissed; gripping robert’s face tightly, making robert’s teeth cut into his cheeks. “What a pathetic being you’ve become… letting strangers fuck you for drugs… why would he ever love you?” the voice sneered. Robert whimpered in fear, tears building up in his eyes.
“P-please stop-” Robert begged, but that vice grip on his face made it difficult to speak. “What a filthy voice you have; you’re nothing but a whore..” “a whore..” “filthy whore..”
The voice began to surround robert; repeating that same phrase over and over again. Robert felt like his head was going to explode. “NOTHING BUT A WHORE!” Robert squeezed his eyes shut, feeling two hands shove him back until yet again, he was falling to his inevitable demise.
Robert flailed, desperately calling for help but his voice was drowned out by the voice inside his head, screaming at him. Suddenly, the sharp and familiar pain of glass digging into his back met robert; and he finally cried out in agony. Robert couldn’t wake up, he was stuck inside his dream, thrashing around as the glass dug deeper and deeper into his skin.
Robert wanted to give up, he thought that maybe he should just let it happen. Maybe he was dying in real life?
Robert sobbed in pain, looking up to see the people he loved most laughing at him and his suffering. “P-please just make it stop- i can't take it anymore” Robert cried, looking at the face of Simon who was the only one not laughing at Robert's pain. “S-simon please” Robert begged, reaching out for his hands that were covered in blood and glass.
“H-help..” Robert whimpered, watching as Simon's face hardened and he turned away, turning his back to Robert and walking away with some strange woman he had never seen before. “Goodbye robert.” Simon said, voice cold.
Robert’s eyes shot open and he sat up in terror; only to hit his head on the top of his bunk with a loud thud. “Ah- fuck!” Robert hissed, rubbing his head as he laid back down; breathing heavily due to the horrible nightmare he had. Robert wiped his wet face, realizing that he had been crying in his sleep again.
Robert sighed, feeling ten times worse than before. Slowly Robert pulled open his curtain and climbed out; thinking that if he drank some water he might feel better; however Robert didn’t get two steps out before he was face to face with simon. Robert flinched, not knowing that Simon had been there.
“S-simon… what- why are you just standing there?” Robert said, backing away from simon; remembering the horrible nightmare he just had. Robert pursed his lips before looking away, feeling a bit dizzy from his fever. “I was coming to see if you were okay… you were having another nightmare… could hear you form the front of the bus..” simon said lowly; a hard to read look resting on his face.
Robert grimaces, unable to look at simon. ‘How much did they hear? Fuck- i hope i didn’t say anything to weird’ robert thought, pressing his palm to his forehead before sighing. “Sorry… i didn’t mean to- i’ll just…” robert said, not knowing why he was even apologizing. “Fuck, i don't know..” robert sighed, running a hand through his tangled mess of hair.
There was a beat of silence until Simon finally spoke up. “You were calling me… for help.” Simon said carefully, “why?” he finished, staying right where he was; blocking Robert from the exit. Robert tensed; unsure of how he should answer that. Robert swallowed thickly before decadent to avoid the question, “can i get by… need water..” robert said, trying to move around simon; but simon just moved with robert.
“Tell me. Why were you crying my name in your nightmare.” Simon said, his intense gaze never leaving Robert's pale face.
Becoming irritated, Robert glared at simon. “Fuck if i should know simon- i don't know why i was having a nightmare!” Robert barked at Simon, trying to walk past again; but Simon stopped Robert by grasping his bicep firmly. “Stop running away and tell me robert.” Simon hissed, shoving Robert back.
Robert stumbled, nearly falling onto his ass before he finally found his balance once more and glared at simon. “What’s your issue simon!” Robert snarled, becoming fearful as Simon started to approach him. “I want to know why you were dreaming about me.” Simon demanded. With each step Robert took back, Simon followed until Robert's back was pressed against the wall.
“S-simon stop-” Robert said, staring into Simon's harsh gaze like a deer in headlights. “Just tell me!” simon hissed, trapping robert between the wall and his boyd by pressing his hands against the wall; right by robert’s head. Their eyes were locked with each other, both unmoving and unwilling to talk until the other spoke first.
Robert’s eyes flickered back and forth between Simon's eyes, his anger changing to something else as Robert dared to glance down to Simon's lips. Robert felt a lump form in his throat and he turned his head away, “s-simon really- just stop it..” Robert whispered, hugging himself.
Simon wrinkled his nose, suddenly grasping robert’s face and turning it so robert HAD to look at him. “Stop what robert. Stop caring? You want me to pretend like you aren’t destroying yourself?” simon hissed, “you want me to pretend like i don't know what you do in your spare time. Wnat me to forget what i saw in that dirty fucking bathroom..'' Simon growled. Robert’s breath started to pick up, he felt his face start to burn and his cock twitch form the commanding tone of Simon's voice.
“S-simon please-” “shut up robert.” Simon cut Robert off, pressing even closer. “I’m not done speaking yet…” Simon said, watching as Robert closed his eyes and bit his lip to silence himself. “Every time i see you ruining yourself… i get so fucking angry; why?! Why do you do it robert… why can't you just be honest for once?” simon hissed, his anger turning to sorrow and he released his firm grip of robert’s face in favor of simply cupping it.
“Why do you do it..” Simon whispered, watching as Robert trembled before him.
Robert swallowed thickly, daring to look up at Simon's face. Robert was at a loss for words; he didn’t know how to voice what he was feeling without making a utter fool of himself. So, in situations where Robert was afraid; he did the one thing he always did, the one thing that caused him the most trouble.
“... are you going to kiss me?” Robert whispered, his tired blue eyes trained on Simon's. Robert felt Simon's thumb brush against his cheek, wiping away the tear stains on his skin.
Simon seemed to hesitate for a moment before his gaze softened more. “Do you want me to?” Simon whispered, all traces of anger now replaced with sinful lust for robert. Robert swallowed thickly, feeling Simon's hand slide to the back of his head and firmly grasp the hair.
“I-i do…” Robert whispered, lowering his eyes to look at Simon's lips, his heart leaping to his throat when he saw Simon's pink tongue dart out to wet his lips unconsciously. “I do.” Robert said, sounding more certain now. Robert looked back up to Simon's face; watching the emotions swim in Simon's eyes before suddenly Robert felt Simon's thumb brushing against his bottom lip.
“Robert..” Simon whispered, leaning forward and closing the distance between them. When their lips finally met into the slow, trembling kiss; both men knew exactly what they wanted from each other. Robert let out a weak moan and wrapped his arm around Simon's back, pulling their body together into a heated embrace.
Robert could hear his heart beat in his ears, kissing Simon always made Robert want to melt into a puddle on the ground. There was just something about Simon that made Robert feel so fuzzy yet scared at the same time; it was like taking a bite from forbidden fruit.
“Mn.. robert..” Simon sighed against Robert's lips, pressing their groins together; letting Robert know just the effect Robert had on him. Robert whimpered and pulled away, pressing his hands against Simon's chest. “F-feeling dizzy..” Robert whispered, breath coming out in shaky puffs. Simon leaned back, gazing at Robert's face before backing away. “S-sorry i… got too carried away.” Simon said, suddenly coming to his senses. He shouldn't be doing this- especially when robert was OBVIOUSLY going through something.
Robert looked up at Simon, eyes darting between Simon's eyes before he grasped the front of his shirt. Robert let out a shaky breath before suddenly pushing past simon. “I-im laying down..” robert whispered, feeling shaky. Robert hated that he had become this way- he felt so confused…
“Robert- wait,” Simon said, catching Robert's hand. Robert tensed, suddenly pulling his hand away. “Don't, please Simon I'm already so..” Robert sighed, rubbing his face. “I just can't.” handle this right now… please, just leave me alone.” robert whispered, rubbing his face as he climbed into his bunk and pulled the curtain shut; not wanting to face the truth.