Why is it so hard?
I see her, she is making friends.
I see me, I am watching her doing it.
I hear her, she is always laughing.
I hear myself, I do not dare open my mouth.
I move towards her, she is lovely.
She does not move towards me. I am okay with that.
But then I think about it.
And I am not able to get
How is she so friendly
And I am so lonely.
Even with older people
She seems to not worry a bit
While I always struggle
In thriving to throw a hello at them
I was doing this survey
And I said social abilities can be trained
I do not think it is true anymore
I have been trying
I still am the same person I was in the beginning
Even If I try to hide it
I am only lying to myself
I am the shy introvert person
And I will always remain the same.
My energy is so limited
It only lasts a few bits
When im happy, it rapidly ends that feeling
And nothingness enters the world.
I do not feel, and I do not desire to feel either.
But I see the rest having a good time
And I cry to myself
Why don't I want to be like them?