"Don't leave me!" A kid in a yellow shirt screeches, his arms wrapping tightly around his mother's neck. There's snot leaking out of his nose and tears pouring out of his big eyes. I sigh.
"I hate those kids," Arita mutters beside me, her chin resting against her palm. Her legs are stretched out in the lawn chair beside mine, her sandals shoved into the grass, her skin marked with the scars of years spent climbing trees and falling during tag. "There's, like, five each summer. They don't stop crying for a whole week - just constant bawling. I could cut my own fucking ears off, seriously."
I snort, looking away from the mother struggling to pull her kid off and not choke in the process. Pik jogs over to her from the main lodge, his large key ring jingling in his pocket. He shoots us a look, his eyes flicking between the rest of the parents lined up behind the screaming kid and Arita and me. I can hear him say, Go help, dipshits, from our spot in the shade.
I nudge Arita with my elbow, causing her to scoff and stand up from the chair. She brushes off her matching yellow shirt, the same mustard colour as the screaming kid's. My shirt is green, an emerald that matches the water in the lake. Thankfully, all the kids who were handed one like mine weren't crying, or weren't doing it loud enough for us to hear. The first-year campers are usually old enough to handle leaving their parents for an entire summer, but some of them get scared. It's not that I don't understand - I cried my first time here. It was a plea for help, honestly, to get my mother's attention for once. Make a scene and she'll look. If anything, it just made her leave faster.
I place a hand over my eyes, surveying the whole camp from the entrance. The large sign above us that's keeping away the harsh sunlight, the red wood with Camp Kawei written across, starts the dirt path that takes you to every building or activity centre. The showers are closest to us, connected to the cafeteria, rec room, and Pik's office. The cabins are on the other side of the path, one to twenty three sitting in a wide ring around the campfire pit, surrounded by logs that we use to sit while making s'mores every night. The lake, where we swim and canoe, is at the end of the path. It's pretty much fully sectioned off with a rope, to keep the kids away as a safety precaution. The dock is the only way onto the sand, and that's blocked off by a locked gate that only Pik has a key to.
Arita grabs my other arm, dragging me with her. I stumble forward and we head to the kid as Pik is wiping away his tears with an orange handkerchief. I smile up at the mother, sticking out my hand, a few of the woven bracelets Arita and me had made over the summers sliding forward on my wrist.
"Don't worry," I say, shaking her hand a few times. She looks exhausted, her blouse and slacks wrinkled from wrestling her kid. I make sure the kid can hear me, too. "He'll be having fun in no time. We've got a ton of activities lined up for the whole summer!" The mother smiles weakly back at me, wiping her hand on her slacks as we pull away. Okay, ouch. I rub my hands together, checking if they're clammy. It's not hot enough out for me to be sweating everywhere.
"Thanks..." the woman trails off, looking at the little painted name tag attached to my shirt in the shape of a four-leaf clover. "Uh... Button?"
I laugh as she eyes Arita's name tag, then Pik's, then back to mine.
"It's a game we play with the campers. A sort of tradition," I explain, the confused expression melting from her face. "Button is a nickname, and we let the first-year campers try and guess our real names all summer." She nods, and Arita forces a grin. Her nickname, Karma, is from the story of how her and I met. She'd been terrorizing this one kid by chopping scissors in front of her face - I guess he was scared of scissors - and she accidentally cut her top lip. She was bleeding everywhere, she still has the scar. I was in the nurse's cabin when they brought her in to get it bandaged, but I'd only been in there to clean the new callouses on my fingers. Pik has been teaching me how to play the guitar since my first year, and my skin never really liked the roughness of guitar strings.
I'm used to them by now. I play songs each night at campfire, mostly the boring camp songs we learned as kids, repeat-after-me songs, and anything from the 80s or older. The kids don't know many songs I can actually play, but I try to take requests.
The mother in front of us kisses her kid's head quickly, and Arita grabs his hand. Pik takes his sleeping bag and backpack, and they walk him over to his new cabin. The kids get to stay in cabins together, by age groups, at about ten kids per cabin. The counsellors used to stay in the cabins with them, but this year we had an influx of campers, so most of the counsellors get their own rooms in the main lodge. Us new counsellors, like Arita and me, get Cabin 5. It's the only cabin without a bathroom and there's a hole in the ceiling, so we don't let campers stay in it. No one should have to stay there at all.
The mother practically sprints to her car after her kid gets past the sign with Pik and Arita, and I wave her off. Kai walks up beside me, their hands in their pockets. We start greeting the rest of the kids and sending them down the path where some of the other counsellors have Cabin assignments.
After the line of parents and kids finally ends, I turn to Kai, stretching my back. They're wearing the matching shirt to Arita's, and I narrow my eyes. Kai laughs at me, grabbing my arm as we head down the path.
"I'm so pissed," I groan, watching as the first-year campers crowd together in nervous circles, while the older campers mill about and catch up with their friends.
"Marsh, you're just jealous," Kai rebuts, waving at some of the kids we knew from last year. We were campers last year, and some of the kids here were our friends. Arita and I both graduated a couple weeks ago, while Kai's starting their second year of university at the end of the summer.
"Yeah, you and Arita get to be co-counsellors together," I explain, rolling my eyes. "Meanwhile, mine hasn't even shown up yet."
"Did Pik tell you his name yet?" Kai and I stop at a picnic table in the centre of the camp, underneath a pine tree. We stare at the lake, the water glistening in the sunlight, and Kai slips on their sunglasses.
"Nope," I sigh, leaning back on my elbows. Counsellor assignments are surprises each year, just like Cabin assignments. We all gather and Pik draws names from his guitar case. Pik believes great teamwork comes from quick problem-solving and spontaneity, not planning. I almost laughed when he gave that spiel last night at dinner in the cafeteria while setting up the draw. We all arrived yesterday to help with set up and the last of the cleaning, before the co-counsellor ceremony. Kai and Arita had been drawn first, and it felt like a punch to my face and my gut.
My only two friends, the only two options I wanted, were already taken, and, of course, my name had to be last. It was almost worse that my co-counsellor wasn't even there for me to meet. Pik said he was getting in today - something about meetings or school, I can't remember. I just hope he isn't an asshole.
"At least You-know-who isn't here," Kai suggests weakly, and I smack my forehead with my palm.
They raise their hands in defence, before I can start complaining or remind them never to bring him up again. I give them a pointed side-eye look, causing Kai to quickly flit their gaze and close their mouth. We sit in silence and watch the kids interacting and exploring the grounds. Some of the kids wander over to the trees by the lake, and I feel a frown curve my lips. The trees, a few willows all tangled together by the shore, block you from view if you sit beneath the branches. There's enough holes at the top of the tree, where the branches all connect, to be able to see the sky still. It's beautiful under there at night, but I haven't sat by the lake in years. Not after Jude and his group of stupid boys started making fun of me. I was always scared I'd run into him there.
Kai stands up beside me as Pik and Scooter clap their hands, gathering the attention of the kids and counsellors. Kai's chill smile is replaced by a stern focused face, crossing their arms as the last of the kids join the group and quiet down.
"Hello, campers!" Scooter shouts into a megaphone, but she'd be loud enough to hear from the back without it. Scooter is the lead counsellor, while Pik is the camp director. They work together to make the camp run and live here full-time, even when it snows. I'd always wanted to stay here in the winter. Jude and I used to steal trays from the cafeteria and bring them to the top of the hill, beside the start of the path. We'd never get that far; the grass wasn't slick or smooth enough for the trays to glide, but we had big imaginations.
The willows at the lake, the trays on the hill... every part of camp reminds me of him, most of them bad memories that have soon replaced the good ones. Thankfully, he would've graduated high school a few weeks ago, too, and would be off to university this fall. Arita said he'd gotten a swimming scholarship, so this summer he'd be conditioning at his school. Or at least, that's what her sister, Daneel, had bragged to their parents. Her and Jude have been dating for two years now, and she almost didn't come to camp and work in the kitchens again since she wanted to stay with him.
I smile to myself, out of relief. Even though Daneel was here, this would still be my first year at camp without Jude in so long, and I expect to enjoy the hell out of it.
Pik takes the megaphone from Scooter as she finishes listing off the rules for the campers.
"Alright, everyone, meet in the main lodge in ten minutes for our first activity, and welcome to Camp Kawei!" Pik shouts, and the kids all join their Cabin groups. Bodies move all around me, a blur of distinct shirt colours that collide and push past me until each group fades into solid colours. The mustard yellow shirts are near Pik, and Kai jogs over there from my side, joining Arita.
I bite the inside of my cheek as I look for the green shirts, all the way at the front, nearer to the lake and just off the path. I adjust the bracelets on my wrist and start walking over, plastering the first massive grin of many this summer onto my face.
I reach my group, a mix of boys and girls from age 12 to 13, and am about to introduce myself when a voice interrupts me.
"Button," Pik calls from the side, the other crunching under his hiking boots. I turn to look at him, and raise my and again to ease my eyes. My vision focuses and I see Pik with another guy at his side, his back turned to me so I can only see the matching green shirt he's wearing. He's got shortish, curly black hair and he's tall. His sleeping bag is thrown over one shoulder, revealing the line of muscles in his bicep. I tilt my head, squinting my eyes to try and get a better look at who I assume is my partner.
"Hey!" I shout, waving them over. I keep the grin on my face, until my partner starts to turn around. Some of the kids beside me start ecstatically chatting and I feel the air leave my lungs, my chest deflating and my hands starting to sweat, but not from the heat.
Beside Pik, my co-counsellor walks towards our group and reveals that same moronic smirk he always wears. My eyebrows raise and my lips tighten as they walk over, and Pik points his thumb at the guy beside him, mouthing 'Surprise!' my way.
"Oh, fuck me," I whisper.
I wasn't going to enjoy the hell out of this summer - this summer was going to be hell.
Jude is my co-counsellor.