sometimes letting go of some people is hard but it's as necessary as cutting off a limb of cancer. you have to do it to stop it from spreading and before it consumes your entire body.
I had to let go of not 1 or 2 people but my entire family 3 months ago, it's been a bit hard because they're my family but I'm finally happy and free. I'm finally doing what I love even if it's as simple as being a personal assistant.
I'm Nessa Richard also called es by my close friends. don't question it, I know it's weird but it is what it is.
Anyway, I moved to nyc with my best friend a couple of months ago after getting my business degree, and her her medical degree.
She's 2 years older than me so it makes sense why we both graduated at the same time.
She is a nurse soon to be a doctor, and a stripper..... A lot of people and by a lot I mean a lot don't respect her for that and judge her.
the good thing is it's not their life nor their business for her to consider their opinion.
I support her to the fullest because only we know how much we've been through to get to where we are right now. I love showing her how much I support her that's why I sometimes go to the club she works at to cheer for her.
Speaking of which, I'm going to watch her show tonight which means I have to finish whatever work Mr.Black Aka my boss has for me today earlier than usual.
Im waiting for him to arrive so I can tell him what he has to do today and ask if I have to plan anything soon.
I've been working here for almost 3 months now, thank god Mr. Black didn't pull the " let's spend a night" shit that men usually pull.
I went to 5 different interviews and 4 of them offered something sexual in return of giving me the job.
Yes I needed the job but it's not like they didn't need an assistant or couldn't get a woman.
I can never understand men which is why I keep my distant.
Mr. Black was the only one among the 5 who spoke professionally and with respect.
The reason I chose to work here.
He is respectful and nice but trust me, you don't want to get on his bad side.
I never did and I plan on keeping it that way.
The dongs of the elevator echoed through the grand hallway screaming "he's here".
He has his private elevator that has a different dong, it's annoying sometimes because it's really loud but I've managed.
Standing up with a sigh I walk out of my office and to the hallways to greet him.
" good morning Mr. Black, how are you today?"
Both professionalism and politeness leaking from my sentence is how I've always talked to him.
" good morning Ms. Richard, I am good what about you?" He replies seriously while rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt.
" I am good sir, thank you. Today you have a meeting with the marketing department at 10 am, and some paper work to sign." I say without looking at his tall form and blonde hair like I did the first time I saw him.
I close the agenda gently and finally meet his ice blue eyes.
"Okay" he replies blankly before leaving to his office.
To some it's rude but I got used to it, it's his way of showing professionalism and I respect it because it gives me space to work comfortably.
in fact I am happy he left because I can watch ladybug in my free time.
When he doesn't tell me what to do it usually means I have a free day.
I spend those watching miraculous or reading.
I know it's a cartoon but I'm obsessed and even tho adrien is practically blind, him and marinette have something and I crave having it.
One of my deepest desires is love but I'm not stupid to think I will have it.
I might if I'm lucky but it's usually hard to find.
And by love I don't mean love someone and have their love back.
No..I want what Sofia and ace had, what Garrett and Hannah have, what miles and tate have.
A love that can handle pain without breaking because I'm not naive to think I will have an easy life.
Nothing is ever easy. If it is then you're doing something wrong.
" Ms. Richard, copy the booklets and make sure everyone from the marketing department knows about the meeting."
Looking up at the door a wave of confusion hits me because I don't remember coming to my office.
I went into autopilot mood.
A bad habit I should probably cut off but I don't want to.
With a mental head shake, I look at him and stand up from my chair as a gesture of respect.
I nod and leave my office to do what he told me to do.
ꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬ
it's currently 5 pm, my time to leave the office, nothing interesting happened today.
I copied the booklets and took notes during the meeting.
now I am heading home, I plan on taking a 6 hours nap, and then go to the club.
I'm not a big fan of partying and that's not because I'm innocent or anything, it's because I want to focus on myself at the moment.
The only reason I go to the club is as I said to show Sofie I'm there for her.
ꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬ
"Wake fuck up es, one would think you're dead not asleep." an annoyingly loud voice yells.
you guessed it! Sofie.
I turn around and cover my face with my other pillow, I sleep with 4.
" es I swear to god if you don't wake up RIGHT now I will drag you by your hair to the bathroom and poor ice cold water on your head" she threatens, and trust me her threats are never empty.
I remember when we had to go to this party that one of her friends threw, and I was taking my usual nap when boom I found myself wet and cold.
Her voice pulls me out of my tragic memories " NESSA RICHARD wake the fuck up"
Ouwww she's really mad, a part of me what to annoy her but the other doesn't want to face her rage.
Choosing the later, I get out of my bed and give her a pointed look.
If looks can kill I'd be 15 ft under not just 6.
"I'm awake stop giving me that look" I say walking to my decent sized bathroom to freshen up.
I watch her fit form walking out of my room before I hear her say "I will believe it when you're ready".
I may or may not have told her I'll get ready and continued my nap a couple of days ago...
I jump when she slams my door to probably show me how serious she is.
"SHAKE YOUR ASS A LITTLE MORE TODAY BECAUSE YOURE FIXING MY DOOR" I yell to make sure she hears me.
"SUCK MY DICK ES."
" I LOVE YOU TOO SOF" I reply putting some toothpaste on my toothbrush.
Doing what every human being usually does before taking a shower aka taking my clothes off, I hop in the shower and begin washing my hair.
30 minutes later I get out of the bathroom in a towel.
10 minutes later I have my hair dried and ready to get Styled.
Putting on my red undergarments I look through my dresses trying to find what to wear tonight.
I may not be into partying but I'm into buying dresses and generally clothes that I would never wear just because they look nice.
after a few minutes I settle on a short red dress, the silky material hugs every curve of my body perfectly and hides my baby aka food tummy.
I pick a pair of black heels to go with it and leave my room feeling oddly confident.
I give sofie a cheeky smile to match her grumpy face and we leave our apartment.
" the gun shipments successfully arrived-" my right hand man deigo gets cut short by a knock on the door.
whoever it is clearly has a death wish because I gave clear orders to my men not to disturb me today.
"Wh-" my irritated what too gets cut short once I see who the knock belongs to.
austin black.
" ciao, vechio amico "(hello old friend).
"Ciao Austin" I reply smirking knowing he is here because he either found a new strip club or 2 bestfriends to get us laid tonight. hopefully both.
He usually calls before coming but when he is excited he just break in. The only time he is excited is when he finds new strip clubs.
I would be furious, and he would be dead if he was someone else.
" I found this new strip club, it's been around for 5 months only. One of my clients said there is a stripper called devina that is a living stress reliever."
I watch as he walks in my office like it's his which is kind of true, the fucker spends time in my house more than he does in his.
"Well let's go and see for ourselves" I say ready for another usual night.
a usual nigh consists of drinking, getting laid, and leaving for the next.
One thing about me is that I NEVER sleep with a girl more than once, not because I want to keep my image of being a play boy but because I dont want to give false hopes to any woman.
women are annoying when given hope.
no im not disrespectful towards women and appreciate their role in our lives but some of them and sadly the only ones I come in contact with make me thankful for my rule.
I could cut off women completely but I have my personal needs and stress to be relieved.
ꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬꙬ
We arrived at the club not long after we left. It is impressive from the outside, time to see the inside.
As soon as we walk in, gasps and whispers are heard along with the loud music. As usual me and Austin ignore them because that's what we get going anywhere.
some would kill to have what we have and think our lives are better but in fact we're all a part of a fucked up world.
we all have to fight our demons and live somehow but some of us choose to fill the emptiness with success while others choose to bitch about it.
The smell of alcohol and sweat hit my nostrils like a brick, but we keep walking to the private open booths. the first thing that catches my attention is the crowd around the stage screaming " DEVINA!".
I guess she's that good.
We sit at a booth not too far from the stage And order some drinks, the music stops indicating the show is over which means it's time for us to have a private dance.
I call the manager and ask for devita or devina, another thing about me is I don't remember names when I don't have to.
What's the point?
not soon after a girl with a petite body, brown eyes, and dark hair walks to us.
She is wearing a white lingerie that barely covers anything ,That's what they wear around here.
As usual she starts dancing for us, Austin usually talks to me, but this time he is looking at devita or whatever her name is as if she will disappear if he looks away.
Bored of the dance, I scan the club hoping to find a stir-
My thought gets cut short when I see a girl in a red dress.
She's so perfect.
something about her makes me not want to looks away.
It isn't her full red lips or her long chestnut hair...it isn't her hot curvy body either.
It's her smile.
A smile that isn't for me and that for some reason makes me feel more empty.
A new desire burns within me.
That girl is going to be mine. I don't care what I have to do but she will be mine.
Including her smiles, her laughs, her attention, her everything will be mine.
The things I want to do to her..... how I want to hear her screaming my name and begging for more.
A private dance from this stripper couldn't get me hard but one smile from this girl plus my own thoughts got me painfully hard.
She looks around making me do the same to see 2 men looking at her.
The fact that I'm not the only one thinking of having her doesn't sit right with me.
I turn my gaze to her to see her looking at me, forget about her smile.
her eyes...
The way her eyes hold a spark makes me feel like I've unlocked a part of the world no one has seen or been to before.
Her eyes hold innocence, and that is making me wonder why she's here.
God knows I will make sure to shut down this entire club if she's a stripper here.
Her eyes leave me like her attention and I'm back to feeling empty again.
She smiles making me look at who she's looking at, she's looking at devita.
" have a goodnight Austin".
I look next to me to see devita leaving but austin grabs her wrist, oh he wants a quick fuck.
I chuckle and look back at the girl who is still staring at devita.
Why is she staring at her?
is she lesbian?
I hear divita say" sure, let me tell my friend that I won't be going home with her and come".
I can see Austin nodding from the corner of my eye, but I fully focus my gaze on the girl.
My girl.
divita is walking towards her.....and then they hug.
That took a turn.
In a good way.
I smirk knowing that this divita girl knows her.
Mio angelo.
I look at Austin who is staring at divita. If I didn't know him better I would say he's whipped, but then again he's Austin it can't be.
"Ms. richard?" he says looking at devita and mio angelo.
I look at him and ask " do you know the girl with devita ?"
He give me a glare as if I murdered his dog and say " yes, and her name is devina not devita "
I could care less about her name but she said something about her friend who is clearly mio angelo.
" how do you know her?".
" she is my personal assistant, she's been working for me for 3 months now. Why?" He raises an eyebrow.
I shake my head and say " nothing".
If nothing is wanting her in every way for myself and no one else then I didn't lie at all.
He pokes my arm earning a glare from me.
" don't try man, she is not a one night stand type"
that's good and bad.
good because I now know not everyone can have her which will make having her 10x better but bad because a woman that doesn't do one night stands does relationships.
this leads to two major issues.
one, she might have a boyfriend and let's just say she won't like what will happen if she does.
two she wants a relationship, a man who's capable of loving her and showing her affection.
I can't love her or show her affection because I have none to give.
"you're not right for her man." he says seriously.
I know and a part of why he thinks that is because he thinks I want to fuck her once and throw her away.
Little does he know that I don't want her for a one night stand, I want her forever.
The word forever never meant a thing for me but I know I want to have her with me for the rest of my life.
the desire she buried in me is not just to fuck her, it's to have her everything.
To be mine only.
We get in the club and as usual it smells bad. It makes me nauseous every single time.
After 2 minutes of wondering around , the manager finds us.
" devina come on it's your turn, you're late" his voice is stern and rude.
Sofie's name here is devina, because she thinks it suits her more.
I never hated anyone in my life but I think this man right here is about to change that.
He's always rude like he has a stick up his ass.
The only reason I'm not going off on him is because I don't want Sofie to lose her job.
She went to change into her dancing clothes which are usually lingerie.
I honestly envy her, I want to have a tiny bit of her confidence.
I would never be able to dance in front of people.. like never, and yet here she is doing it as if it's the easiest thing in the world.
It's impressive.
I stand with the crowd cheering for her as I usually do.
I head to a waitress to order some water because I don't like drinking. Call me whatever you want, but me and hangovers are on bad terms.
On my way back I hear people whispering things like "omg it's him" " what a snack" " it's Austin black and ace knight".
The last one catches me off guard...
That's my freaking boss!
it's gonna be embarrassing but it's not like he would want to talk to me if he sees me or anything.
I go back to the crowd and after a while sofie's show is over.
She wiggles her eyebrows at me, which is a sign that she wants me in her changing room.
I am about to tell her how amazing she was, but the asshole comes in and says someone wants a private dance.
We both leave and I see her heading to the table where MY BOSS and a man are sitting.
Out of all the strippers he could've called he called her?
I mean she's the best and well known here but still.
The man next to mr.black catches my attention, he looks so.....dominant.
Not in a sexual way just in general.
He seems like a person who has control over everything.
He has curly light brown hair which is a change from straight dark or blonde hair, no offense to Mr. black.
Emerald green eyes, I'm not going to say there is darkness within him or any of that shit because I know nothing about reading eyes. All I'm seeing is rich emerald orbs even from where I'm sitting.
My eyes stop at his jawline, he has a nice bone structure.
He has a neck tattoo, an ace with a blade and dead roses? That's all that shows through the dress shirt he's wearing.
I recall hearing someone say " it's Austin black and ace knight" so his name is ace, explains the ace on his neck.
He's really handsome but from what I've learned, arrogance comes with a pretty face.
Not wanting to add more to his ego I focus on finding a table.
I make my way to a table not too close and not too far from them, ironically it's the only empty one.
I sit on one of the chairs, and fix my eyes on sofie who is dancing. It is uncomfortable to see Mr. Black here and specifically with sofie, but Im choosing to put the fact that he's my boss out of my head.
My eyes catch a glimpse of ace , who's looking at me?
He's not the first tonight but seeing a man like him looking at me gives me a confidence boost.
Why is he looking at me tho? Godddd he might think I am a freak because I'm casually looking at my best friend giving my boss a private dance.
Fuck why did I have to put it that way, it's worse.
that's embarrassing....but it's not like he knows I'm Mr. black's assistant.
even if he does it's not like I know him or ever will.
I know we might meet since he is Mr. Black's friend, but I don't think he will remember me.
I don't have big boobs or a big ass, and that's what's memorable to men.
I quickly turn my gaze to sofie, who is now on Mr. Black's lap. Wait till she knows he is my boss , she will freak out a little...by little I mean a lot.
I can't help the smile that make its way to my face.
God I love annoying her, surprising her, and catching her off guard.
Around 5 minutes later, sofie gets up and says something. She's about to leave when Mr. Black holds her wrist, ouwww looks like she will get some tonight.
She says something again and he nods in response.
I look at her as she makes her way towards me. once she's close enough I hug her and say "that was amazing!".
I might seem like a kid or overly hyped but I'm just genuinely happy she's living her life.
she laughs at my excitement and says " I won't be coming home tonight, looks like mr. billionaire wants me" and winks.
I wiggle my eyebrows at her and say " have fun with my boss ".
she looks at me as if she's face to face with a ghost and gasps.
" he's your boss? Girl he is hot as fuck" she squeals.
Just as I'm about to say that she should go, I see them getting up and walking toward us?
" they are coming toward us, you should've left now I have to face my boss in a club" I roll my eyes even tho it's not really her fault but I'm caught up in the moment.
before she could say anything, Mr. Black clears his throat and says" good evening nessa"
nessa? Did I miss a chapter of my own life? Since when were we on first name basis.
I feel a pain on my arm and involuntary moan, another thing about me that I should stop.
I moan when I'm in pain, I can't help it. And no I don't have masochism it's just a reflex instead of screaming.
Another effect I still have from living with my parents.
" a lady doesn't scream" is what my mom always said. One would think we lived in the 17th century or something.
I look at my arm to see sofie's finger around my flesh, this bitch really pinched me.
I'm about to glare at her but realization hits me! I just fucking moaned in public, in front of my boss and his friend.
I want to disappear into thin air.
I feel heat rising to my cheeks but I ignore it and force a smile.
"uh good evening Mr. black" I clear my throat.
𒊹︎AN
Good morning/afternoon/evening everyone! I hope you're having a good day.
𖦹Question of the day𖦹
What kind of parent do you want to be?
If you dint want kids, why?
Friendly reminder---> I'm always free and here to listen if you're going through something and need to vent.
𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝~ 𝟹𝟿𝟸𝟾