hitting 'end stream', wilbur threw his body back into the seat, allowing the wheels to roll him backwards slightly. he often felt as though streaming was a chore and thought that his performance was lacklustre on camera, especially if he was not feeling it. it was draining and with struggling with his feelings towards hope, feeling as though she was slowly slipping through his fingers, his mind was boggled.
what were these new and intense feelings he was feeling? hearing her name made his heart beat like there was no tomorrow, it sent a stream of butterflies fluttering around his stomach which he had never experienced towards hope before. he would wake up in the middle of the night, dripping with sweat and his breathing heavy, wondering why he just dreamt that he kissed her - his best friend.
a familiar sound blared through his earphones, startling him and he glanced up at his screen, noticing that tommy and tubbo were calling him on discord. a long sigh fell from his lips and instantly put on an upbeat facade incase either of the boys were streaming, "hello tubbo and tommyinnit."
"hello wilbur!" tommy exclaimed, "how are you?"
"i'm alright," wilbur exhaled, "how are you guys?"
"i'm good, thanks wilbur." tubbo replied.
"yeah, i'm not bad."
wilbur asked, "are you guys streaming?" and after both boys replied saying no, wilbur instantly slumped back into his seat and muttered, "thank god."
"what's wrong wilbur? is it hope?" tommy questioned.
"what do you mean, is it hope?" wilbur echoed him, "what are you on about?" an awkward chuckle fell from his lips.
"we all see the way you look at her." tubbo said, "you must like her, right?"
a loud laugh erupted from wilbur, "both of you, be quiet."
"see, he's not denying it!" tommy exclaimed, "we're right tubbo."
"i'm not talking about relationships with two seventeen year olds." wilbur huffed, "i'm not answering you." he shook his head in refusal, even though the two boys could not see him anyways.
"come on man," tommy sighed, "you seemed really down on stream, i just want to know why."
"and you're assuming it's about hope."
"well, yeah," tommy murmured, "i just think you like her more than a friend."
"mhm, i second that." tubbo agreed, "where is hope anyways?"
"at home, probably messaging george or dream." he huffed and folded his arms over his chest, "i don't know."
"hmm," tommy pondered, "is wilbur jealous?"
"no." wilbur replied sternly.
"i think he is." tubbo chuckled.
"i'm sorry, but why are two seventeen year olds trying to dig into my personal business." wilbur laughed, "hope and i are friends, you know this."
"but do you like her more than that?" tommy asked with genuine curiosity. everyone saw how wilbur acted around hope, especially more recently. when they all went to london, tommy, tubbo and jack all caught onto it instantly. even though they're younger, it was so blatantly obvious that hope and wilbur had potential. they even spotted wilbur's jealousy when he watched george and hope together, the way his demeanour would change and his lit up face would fade at the sight of them.
"i - i," wilbur took a deep breath in and laid his head on the desk, "i don't know. and i can't believe i'm admitting this to two seventeen year olds."'
"you're basically just admitting it to your brother." tommy sighed.
"don't say that, i'll cry." wilbur mumbled, "oh, i don't know what to do!" he exclaimed, lifting his head back up.
"how long have you felt like this for?" tubbo asked.
"oh my days," wilbur chuckled, "i'm seriously taking relationship advice from you two. but honestly, i don't know. i guess i'm now struggling to hide it more."
"is hope okay anyways? didn't she go back home to london to see her friends because the hate was getting to her?" tubbo brought up the dreaded conversation which wilbur knew nothing about.
"tubbo -"
"what?" wilbur was taken aback by the question.
a frustrated groan rang through wilbur's ears from tommy, "tubbo! why did you say that?"
"oh sorry -"
"no, carry on." wilbur sighed, "what are you talking about?"
tommy spoke up, "it's basically been going around that hope couldn't deal with the hate, it started getting to her and she spoke to george and dream about it because she wasn't too sure about speaking to you about it."
"oh," wilbur looked down, "i - i -, oh. why wouldn't she come to me about it?" and there rose the jealousy he had previously felt. why would she turn to george? why could she not turn to wilbur? someone who she always turned to, no matter what the circumstances were. whether it be drama amongst her girl friends or her matching with a random guy on tinder (which he always hated to hear), he was always the first one to know about it.
"maybe she was worried it would make you guys drift." tubbo suggested calmly, it was obvious that wilbur was feeling an array of emotions this second, even just over voice call.
"yeah, don't worry about it man." tommy sighed.
"twitter can be so toxic man," wilbur shook his head in disappointment, "she probably didn't come to me because most of the shit that gets said to her is about me."
tubbo and tommy both exhaled in unison, before tubbo said, "yeah it'll be fine, i'm sure she'll talk to you at some point."
wilbur swiped both hands down his face harshly, his cheeks flustered and blood racing, "she didn't even tell me she was going to london," he muttered, "i messaged her, asking to spend time with her, and she was like oh i'm in london seeing my friends. i didn't think anything of it, but now i'm starting to see why she's barely been messaging me back or on her socials."
"you're looking into things too deeply," tommy said, his voice was surprisingly soothing, contrasting with his well-known loud and obnoxious attitude, "i'm sure there's a perfectly good reason why she didn't go to you first. as tubbo said, she might be worried it'll make you guys drift apart, she didn't want to worry you too much, you're a busy guy."
"yeah, besides, you and hope aren't allowed to drift apart and not be friends anymore. that would be illegal."
wilbur began to speak with a smirk, "tubbo, i don't think that would be ill-"
"nope," tubbo cut him off, "definitely illegal. you guys are good together."
"like two peas in a pod!" tommy yelled, causing wilbur to laugh and shake his head.
"maybe i - uh," wilbur paused for a moment, "maybe i'll try talk to her - when she's back in brighton."
"yeah, man." tommy agreed, "try sort something with her as soon as she's back."
letting out an elongated sigh, wilbur glanced on the date and time on his phone and huffed, "but the band, we're busy."
"wilbur!" tubbo complained, his voice loud and surprisingly aggressive for tubbo, "i know everyone's excited for new lovejoy music, but does this friendship not come first?"
gulping, wilbur took a deep breath in. tubbo was right, a seventeen year old. two boys he saw as younger brothers were giving him advice because his head was that baffled, he was confused to a point where he had no idea what was going on with his feelings. it was new, bizarre, powerful, yet something he was willing to take on board if only hope felt the same. but with how close she was becoming to george, wilbur worried that there was no chance she could feel the same and she merely thought of him as a friend - that's it. it felt as though it was a waiting game, wondering if hope would ever reciprocate those feelings and wilbur did not even have the faintest idea that she might feel the same.
but hope always came first, no matter what. even before the all consuming feelings emerged, she was always someone who came first in his life. he cared for her and there was no doubt that hope felt the same, she even moved to brighton because of him. yeah, she might have blamed it on wanting to be somewhere new, away from the heaving streets of london, but in reality she could not part from wilbur considering they spent so much time together.
"you're right, i should put hope first right now, especially because she's probably feeling so shitty about everything." wilbur nodded his head slowly, an elongated sigh falling from his lips.
"good!" tommy yelled, "now when are you gonna tell her you like her?"
wilbur scoffed, shaking his head, but his cheeks burned a crimson shade of red which he was glad neither of the boys could see, "first of all; be quiet, second of all; probably never."
"what? why?" tubbo whined, "she obviously feels the same, we've seen you guys together!"
"we've always been like that together."
"that means that she's always liked you." tommy said with a laugh.
"hang on, how many relationships have you both been in?" wilbur raised a brow.
"well, i've been in hundreds, i don't know about tubbo, but -"
"you've both been in none." wilbur said again, rolling his eyes, "so stop trying to give me advice!" he giggled awkwardly. he glanced down at his phone, still no messages or randomly sent posts and memes from hope. whilst tommy and tubbo spoke amongst themselves, going on about something random, he decided to message her. although the entire day her responses had been pretty slow and blunt, she replied to him pretty quickly this time around, probably because she was drunk and on her own whilst her friends got a round of drinks.
imessage
hopey
when are you back home?
in a couple of days, why?
i just want to see you when you're
back
i feel as though i haven't seen you
much recently
i thought you were busy with the
band? writing new music and
things
well yeah, but i still want to see
you
i'll always make time for you :)
okay :) i'll just message you
when i'm back then