Kinn's POV:
Restaurants were only enjoyable when I could hear myself thinking. I never liked being tortured by the conversations from people three tables over. It was too distracting, and sometimes, downright irritating. So, when Tan and Bun invited me to a nice place near campus, I was touched that they were being thoughtful considering their usual restaurant of choice. The soothing ambiance distracted me from being bothered that I was waiting for them at the booth already.
It had been almost six months since I'd last seen them. We had lost touch after the incident. I didn't take it personally. Each of us had our own way of coping with what happened, and to this day, I was still in a state of shock.
Reflecting on that, I had seen Tan a week ago. That cocky asshole thought it'd be fun to tango with danger and attempt to intervene in my personal life. What was worse was that he spoke to Porsche.
There were many people I did not want Tan to talk to, but Porsche was the largest threat. The closer he got to Porsche, the closer the new world I built for myself would collapse. In Pairing with him, my plan of living inconspicuously was challenged. Techno's involvement in our rivalry didn't help. The sooner both of them were out of my life the better.
Tan and Bun, two idiots in love, were holding hands as they approached the booth. Tan allowed Bun to settle opposite of me first and sat on the outer part after his boyfriend was situated.
"Hey! Long time no see," Bun greeted warmly. He picked the napkin from the table and neatly set it on his lap.
Tan, on the other hand, took his napkin and placed it aside.
I nodded. "It's been quite some time. I trust you're holding up well," I said politely.
It was weird meeting after so long. I had forgotten how to speak to them.
Tan laughed lightly and rested his arm on Bun's shoulder. "It's been hectic, but we're managing."
Bun agreed and leaned in to Tan's touch.
"How about you? What's BU like? Is it as prestigious as advertised?" Bun asked.
I sat up in my seat and crossed my arms over my chest. "It's even grander. The canteen serves European cuisine. I didn't know French people ate snails."
I wasn't used to the lavish lifestyle. People loved their designer bags and clothing. They had fancy cars and the latest technology. Compared to my no-name clothes, I stuck out like a black dot on a white page. As pretentious as it was, I admittedly enjoyed the school's luxuries. All I had to do was ignore the snide remarks from people that I passed by.
"Sounds like you're enjoying yourself," Bun said with a little smile. He picked up the glass of customary water and took a short sip.
"Who wouldn't?" I asked.
Tan smirked. "Any guys to enjoy?"
I had satisfied my fill with quite a few guys since attending the University, but I didn't dare mess with the students. That was drama waiting to happen. However, there were a few pleasant bars nearby.
"Oh, right. Tan told me you made a new friend," Bun said as he set the glass aside.
I glared at Tan. "Ah, yes. Sharp spoke to him" I said in an irked tone. He was lucky that we were having this conversation in a public space.
Bun giggled. "You still use that alias?" He turned to look at Tan with a happy frown.
Tan shrugged and smiled proudly at his success. "It works. Got his new pal to like me," he teased.
"He's not my pal or my friend," I corrected curtly.
"Then what is he to you?" Bun asked with knitted brows.
I ignored him, now remembering my anger from the bus. "Care to explain why you were talking to him?" I asked Tan. My chin narrowed to him daringly.
"He looked like fun to talk to," Tan said casually.
"If you go up to him again, I'll cut your fucking balls off and shove them down your throat," I threatened Tan tonelessly. I tried to keep my face relaxed.
Tan laughed. "Possessive much?"
Bun shook his head but looked at my curiously.
Whose side are you on?
"It's not about possession. I don't want past shit mingling with the present," I said.
Porsche wasn't something to possess. But his role in my life was too big of a part to get Tan involved.
"Ouch, I'm just a past to you," Tan said. He quivered his lower lip and gave me saddened eyes. Just as quickly as his look came, it vanished and turned into a playful smile. His gaze wandered to the table. He picked up the menu and began inspecting it.
"I like to keep things separate," I explained. I leaned against the cushy booth and rested my arm on the back of it.
"You never answered my question," Bun said.
What did he ask? I thought back.
What is Porsche to me?
Did I lie or dare to tell them the truth?
"He's just some dimwit senior I had to babysit for an evening," I said.
"Porsche is his name, right? That's what Tan told me," Bun said.
Porsche really shouldn't have told him his name.
"Actually, he lied about that. His real name is Jom," I lied. I kept a straight expression and reached out to pick up the glass of red wine that I'd ordered before they'd arrived. I snuck a sip, allowing the tart taste to swim in my fiery mouth.
Tan licked his lips and set the menu down. He looked at me speculatively. "Lying for him too? Are you getting feelings for him?" he teased.
Hell no.
I shook my head. "Believe what you want. I'm just telling you the truth." I carefully twirled the glass in my palm and admired the dark drink crashing into clear walls.
Bun nodded. "Well, what's this Jom guy like?"
If only they knew.
"Relentless. The guy hates my guts," I said.
"Why does he hate you?" Tan asked. His raised eyebrow didn't indicate confusion but rather interest. He seemed surprised by my claim.
"Because for the first time in his life, he's encountered someone better than him, and he can't stand it," I said bitterly.
"I'm sure he's not that bad," Bun said.
Tan offered the menu to him, but Bun set it on the table and softly said, "You know what to get me."
"A week ago, I had to buy him shoes. He refused to wear any because he felt I owed him," I said.
Complaining about Porsche took this weighted anguish from my mind and dispersed it out into the world. After having to keep his annoyances to myself, I was relieved to have impartial friends to rant to.
"Did you owe him?" Bun asked. He grinned as Tan sneakily removed his arm from Bun's shoulder and took hold of his hand on the table. Shamelessly, Tan played with his boyfriend's fingers and cutely wiggled his pinky.
"No. He involved himself in my crap and blamed me when he got fucked over." Irritably, I downed another sip of alcohol and then set it aside.
"What a monster," Tan said with a chuckle.
I glared. "More like what a baby." All he had to do was spend an hour with Porsche, and he'd understand my frustrations.
"If he's a real problem for you, I know a guy," Tan offered.
Tan intervening was worse than waiting for the problem to resolve itself. I thought back to the last time I'd accepted his proposal. That was way too much blood.
I shook my head. "That won't be necessary. I'm handling it."
"Handling it?" Bun asked. He snatched his hand from Tan, who was trying to kiss it as if he were some fucking Disney prince.
Did you forget to fuck it out before you got here?
"He won't be my bodyguard for long," I assured him.
So far, my plan was successful. Porsche was taken aback every time I flirted and had been keeping his distance. If I pushed a bit further, I'd get him to snap. I just had to be methodical about it.
"Kinn and his master plans. Jom's in for a real treat," Bun said. "Are you using your usual method?"
"Of course," I said.
Tan bit his lip and grimaced towards me.
"What?" I asked. I tried not to fidget in my seat.
"I don't think you can use your usual on him. I'm pretty sure he's gay or at least bisexual ," Tan said.
"What makes you say that?" I shot up an eyebrow at him and crossed my right leg over my left.
"On the bus, he was undressing me with his eyes," he said bluntly.
Bun frowned and protectively wrapped an arm around Tan's shoulder. Tan smiled and leaned into his hold.
Affection. Disgusting.
"He was not! You were staring at him, so he stared back," I said. My left foot started jittering under the table. Thankfully, they couldn't see.
I couldn't imagine Porsche pushing past his pride to be with a man. His ego would combust at the very thought. Even if he were gay, it wasn't like he'd be attracted in me. I was clearly a top, and once again, his dignity wouldn't humble him enough to bottom. He'd find the position too belittling, which it wasn't.
Bun waved for the waitress. Swiftly, she came over and took our orders. Tan ordered for Bun and himself. I chose the cheapest item on the menu. She left with our requests.
Tan's gaze followed her to the counter before he refocused on me. He nudged Bun, who was occupied staring at the drink menu.
Bun set the menu aside and took the hint. "There's something we want to discuss with you," he said to me.
And there it was. I knew it was too good to be true. They had something up their sleeves and finally had the balls to pull it out.
I withheld my disappointment and bounced my glances between the both of them. "Which is?"
They turned towards each other. Tan gave him an assuring nod to present whatever ludicracy they had planned.
"We have a business proposal," Bun said hesitantly.
"No," I said, shaking my head immediately. "I'm not getting involved in that anymore."
I thought they would've known better than to attempt dragging me back into their shit. Insulted, I frowned and pointedly glared at them.
"This is different. I think you'd like it," Tan chimed in. Cowering forward, he planted a soothing hand on the table and responded to me with his businessman face. If he knew anything about businessmen, he would've known they were the least trustworthy people I'd met. That look wasn't getting him anywhere.
"Is it legal?" I asked sarcastically. We all knew the answer to that question.
"Yes," Bun said while shaking his head no. That was off the record for, "not in the slightest."
"Then I'm not interested." To make my stance clearer, I stole a fine knife from the table and toyed with the edges against my palm.
Bun winced and gulped as he watched me befriend the cutlery. Unaffected, Tan pressed further.
"You're the best person for this. It'll be like the good old days," Tan said in his persuading tone I hated.
"Those days are over. You saw what happened to my dad and to Khun. I don't want to end up like either of them," I said sourly. My grip on the blade tightened at the forced memory.
Tan's eyes softened sympathetically. "What happened to Khun was an anomaly."
"But it happened."
I sighed. I knew their proposition meant good money. God knew I needed it. But I couldn't risk it. "I told myself I'm not going back to that life. And I'm sticking to that."
"Since when did you become such a wuss?" Tan asked.
"Since I saw my brother die before my eyes," I said coldly. "Besides that, the police have me right under their noses now. One mistake, and I'm done for," I said.
He fell silent, angrily silent. Bun rested an assuaging hand on Tan's shoulder.
"Kinn, we're sorry about your brother," Bun said soothingly.
"But the police are a bunch of fools in uniforms. Bun and I aren't in their radar. You stay on the down low, and we'll handle the rest," Tan said.
Abruptly, I slammed the knife on the counter. "I told you my answer. Don't make me repeat myself," I warned.
They took the hint. Bun awkwardly cleared his throat.
"The restaurant is nice," Bun said.
The rest of our time was spent reminiscing about the past and discussing our new lives. Bun and Tan seemed happy despite everything that had happened. I wasn't thriving, but I could've been doing worse. Building a new life for myself was easier said than done. My main issue was that I couldn't solve problems my usual way.
Three quarters of the way through our delicious meals, Bun had to excuse himself for the evening. He wouldn't specify his reason for abandoning, but I assumed it had something to do with their sketchy business.
Once we finished eating, Tan insisted he walked me to the bus stop. We were in the middle of a great conversation, so I didn't bother splitting just yet.
The sun had set, leaving mischief in the hands of shadows. Though Bangkok was a bustling city, we had managed to find an area reduced in volume of tired natives and excited foreigners. We admired the quaint street lamps dimming the sidewalk as we made our way to the bus stop.
"By the way, how much did those shoes end up costing?" Tan asked randomly.
"A few thousand baht...why?" I asked suspiciously.
"That's some major bullshit. You should take it back," Tan said.
With Bun not present, Tan was free to cuss away. He tended to do many things that Bun would slap him for if given the opportunity.
"How do you propose I do that?" I tucked one of my hands in my front pocket and let the other hang loosely by my side.
"He's rich, isn't he? Most kids at that school are. Just take something from him," Tan said as coolly as if he were suggesting I wore a shirt to bed.
I shook my head. "He'd know right away it was me."
Porsche might've done stupid things, but that didn't make him an idiot.
"He can say whatever he wants. He can't get you if there's no proof," Tan said as the low lights waved atop his dark hair.
"Not worth it." By that, I was referring to the explosion Porsche would have if I stole something from him. Techno would have a field day, and the unwarranted attention might cause people to attempt to kidnap me again.
Tan stopped and scanned the empty walkway. His eyes paused at a target. He snapped his fingers in victory and pointed ahead. "How about him?"
My feet halted. I followed his finger and noticed the blonde foreigner glued to his phone in a secluded area of the path. Hidden from the lamps' luminosity, he perfectly blended with the night's secrets. His flashy watch and expensive hat screamed that his bank account wasn't dehydrated.
"That guy's definitely loaded. Now's your chance to make some money back," he whispered.
"You want me to fucking mug somebody?" I asked in a low voice.
"Like you're suddenly above it? He has plenty of money to spare." He nudged my arm and titled his head subtly in the victim's direction.
The man was young and clearly out of town. This would be an efficient way to make a return on my investment.
"No," I said, deciding to stand my ground.
"Really? The King of pickpocketing is backing down?" he asked with raised eyebrows.
"Consider me dethroned," I said, opening my hand in the air to accept my demotion.
Tan stared at me briefly and snickered. "You really have changed." He started walking again.
"I told you. I'm not that person anymore," I said as I matched his steps.
"That's what they all say," Tan said with a laugh.
Yes, I was aware that leaving gang life wasn't a decision I could make one morning. It required careful strategy. Unlike others that attempted, I was thoughtful. And dissimilar to them, I wasn't granted many options.
"I'm different," I assured him.
"You're just like your father except you have the potential to be greater than what he is. Why do you want to give that up?" Tan asked. Being second best in the family, it was no wonder Tan envied my position.
I'd seen what it'd done to him. That life wasn't worth it. I thought it was until it happened. Once the real world kicked me mercilessly in the face, I got the message.
"You had to ruin a good evening," I groaned.
Meters away, I saw the bus stop. I quickly approached it and relaxed on one of the benches. Tan stood next to it.
"Maybe I should ask Porsche what you're like now," Tan said with a sneer. He crossed his arms across his chest and studied my reaction.
A twinge in my heart struck. Popping out my lower jaw, my lashes fluttered at the notion. "It's Jom, and I already told you what I'd do if you went near him again," I managed to say steadily. Tan was really testing my patience this evening.
"You told me you aren't that person anymore. Put your money where your mouth is. The new Kinn wouldn't dare use violence from an innocent conversation," Tan provoked.
"Your conversation would be anything but innocent," I retorted. "Which means that the new Kinn would have no problem dealing with you."
"Words, words, words." Tan sighed. "I guess we should see if you can back those up with action."
Angrily, I shot up and snatched his shirt collar. I sternly jerked his face to mine, staring hostilely into his unfazed orbs.
"There he is," Tan murmured satisfactorily.
I released the scratchy fabric and shoved him away. "You've seen what I'm capable of, Tan. Don't let it get to that."
Tan straightened his shirt. "Are you sure you don't have feelings for him?"
It's like he wants to get punched in the face.
"I don't care what happens to him. I just don't want anything messing up the life I've set up," I insisted.
"So, if he got mysteriously injured, you wouldn't care?"
"I can't have anything tracing back to me. Once he's out of my hair, you can do whatever you want to him."
I didn't get Tan's preoccupation with Porsche. He wasn't an important person. The only reason he mattered now was because of his ties to me. Our relationship wasn't significant enough to warrant attention.
Screech! From the loud exhale emitted, I knew the bus had arrived. I turned to an opening door demanding I run in. I complied to its order.
"Once he's not your business anymore, do you promise he's mine?" Tan asked excitedly.
I propelled myself on the first step and looked back to him. "Promise."
I was going to regret saying that.
~~~~~~~
What's the real reason you don't want Tan going after Porsche, Kinn? Could you be threatened that Porsche finds him attractive? Are you protective of him? Or do you genuinely just want people out of your business?