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THE DOOR TO HER OFFICE FLEW OPEN SO HARD that it left a mark on the wall behind it. Athena jumped in shock, spilling violet ink over her work.
"How could you?" Harry yelled and Athena stared at him in surprise,
"What's going on?" Athena asked,
"You lied!" His voice broke and Athena felt a wave of cold fall over her.
"Harry—"
"He was their friend!" Harry bellowed, "he was your friend! He's my godfather and he betrayed them!"
"Harry please" Athena muttered,
"You didn't tell me!" Harry yelled, tears welling up in his eyes, "how could you not tell me?"
"I wanted to" Athena replied quietly, feeling a small lump rise in her throat,
"Then why didn't you?" Harry shouted, "you knew him... you said you were his best friend"
"You were in the three broomsticks?" Athena asked warily, "why were you in Hogsmede? How were you in Hogsmede?"
"That doesn't matter now" Harry replied shortly,
"Yes it does!" Athena snapped, "I specifically told you not to go, I told you that it wasn't safe"
"Worried someone would tell me the truth?" Harry asked her harshly,
"Harry you have to understand—"
"He was my dads best friend and he was your friend too and you didn't mention it! Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't..." Athena stuttered on her own words, "I didn't... it's not as though... this was years ago Harry"
"He's the reason my parents are dead! I had a right to know that!"
Athena wanted nothing more than to tell Harry the truth. The need was burning up inside her as she stared at the pool of purple ink spreading its way over the pages in front of her.
"You were there the night they died?" Harry exclaimed,
"Don't say that" Athena snapped, "I don't need reminded of that"
"You didn't tell me! You saw it happen"
"No I didn't" Athena shook her head, "I got there after it happened... I found you... I got you out of there I did"
"And then where did you go?"
"After Sirius" Athena whispered, "I had to know what had happened... I..."
"He killed Peter Pettigrew" Harry shouted and Athena tensed up knowing that this was now the truth that Harry believed. The truth that was closer to lies than anything else.
"Sirius... Sirius was um—"
"Your friend?"
"Yeah" Athena whispered, digging her nails into her hands as she blinked back tears, "he wasn't um... I didn't... I loved him"
"He betrayed you as well then!" Harry yelled, "I deserved to know! I wish people would stop choosing what I get to know! Choosing when I'm ready to know the truth"
"It wasn't my choice" Athena stated coldly,
"You could have told me!" Harry retorted, "there was so many opportunities when you could have told me... I asked about my godfather"
"I didn't... he's not exactly the best godfather to have at the moment"
"At the moment?" Harry glared exasperatingly, "ever! He's not my godfather! I'd rather Voldemort was my—"
"Oh don't be ridiculous Harry" Athena scoffed, "you shouldn't have been in Hogsmeade, I told you it's dangerous I can't believe you—"
"Don't turn this around on me!" Harry yelled, "you lied! I trusted you!"
"You can still trust me Harry" Athena frowned, "I didn't lie to you I just kept this from you because—"
"For my safety?" Harry laughed coldly, "everyone's always looking out for my safety"
"For good reason" Athena implored, "you're one of the most wanted—"
"I know who I am!" Harry cried, "but I thought that you at least might have told me what I needed to know"
"In different circumstances" Athena muttered,
"You said there were two others? My parents friends... were you including him?"
Athena looked up to Harry whose face was now red in aggression. She hated seeing him upset and she hated the fact that she had caused this. Tears lined his eyes as he stared at her, begging for an answer.
"Yes he was" Athena nodded, "he was your dads best friend"
"He betrayed them!" Harry shouted again, "he's the reason that they're dead!"
"Harry—"
"I'm going to kill him!" Harry continued, "I'm going to kill him for what he did to my parents"
"You will do no such thing!" Athena snapped angrily,
"He deserves it! He told Voldemort where to find them! My mum and dad! He... was one of them and if it wasn't for him.... they trusted him!"
"I know they did Harry I was there" Athena yelled in return, "don't explain it to me like I don't already know! Do you know how hard it was to find your parents Harry... to know that there was nothing I could have done!"
"It was his fault Rena!" Harry exclaimed, "it was all his fault! How can you be so calm about this! Don't you want revenge?"
"Of course I want revenge for what happened to your parents" Athena muttered, "I think about it everyday"
"You said you'd tell me anything I wanted to know about my parents" Harry added sadly, "I've always believed you, always looked up to you and you lied to me"
"I didn't do it out of spite" Athena frowned, "I would do anything to protect you, anything"
"This isn't protecting me! This is shielding me from the truth, from things that I deserve to know"
Athena wanted so badly to tell him that it wasn't down to her at all. She wished that she could curse Dumbledore's name, tell Harry that he was the manipulator behind it all. However Harry worshipped the man as most naive students did. She hated this, she hated that Harry was angry at her instead of at him.
"I'm sorry that you found out like this" Athena replied,
"Would you have told me?" Harry asked, "were you ever planning on telling me?"
"Of course I was" Athena sighed, "I wanted to tell you everything... the truth"
"Let me guess? When I'm older" he said in a mimicking voice.
"I thought it was for the best" Athena lied.
Harry stared at her for another moment before he turned and went to storm out of the room.
"Harry I'm sorry!" Athena called after him. However Harry didn't listen. She could hear his footsteps storming away and the emptiness rising up inside her.
"I heard shouting" a voice came. Athena looked back up to see that Remus had walked into the room looking confused.
Athena took one look at him before she burst into tears. Burying her face into her hands Athena sobbed and she didn't even care that Remus was standing only moments away. She couldn't hold it in anymore.
"What happened?" He asked,
"Harry hates me" Athena replied with a sob,
"I doubt that's true" Remus frowned.
"It is!" Athena exclaimed, "he knows that I lied to him! He knows everything... well he knows what everyone else thinks"
"Come on" Remus sighed and she felt his hand on her arm. She looked up in surprise. His touch was so familiar yet so strange to remember.
"Come to my office I'll get you a drink" Remus told her gently.
Athena didn't even argue. She didn't want to. She let Remus guide her out of her chair and lead her out of the room. His hand was still on her arm. The feeling of his skin had blended in with her own.
They walked into the defence against the dark arts classroom and up the stairs. Athena's silent tears were still moving down her face as they entered the office.
Remus turned to her again, he saw the upset in her eyes, the clouded vision.
"Come here" he breathed gently. Athena didn't register what was happening until it was too late, her heart had dragged her forwards before her mind had a chance to say no.
She felt comforted by his arms around her as she rested her head on his chest. Yet again, Athena was greeted by a thousand memories of when she'd hugged him just like this. However this one felt different.
It was the same feeling of coming home after a long day, of closing your eyes in desperate need of sleep. Of coming in from the cold. Of sinking into a warm bath on a winters day.
A sense of relief beyond any other.
She was crying again but not just because of Harry. Athena cried because her heart had swelled twice the size, she cried because she had missed feeling like this, she had missed being close to him, missed having someone to rely on.
Athena had missed Remus more than she'd ever know.
"I'll get you some tea" he murmured, moving away from her and guiding her into a chair. Athena sat blindly, still breathing in his scent as he busied himself with the tea.
She'd expected it to feel different than it once had but she'd been wrong. It felt the same. Exactly the same. Her heart was pounding now as he placed the warm mug into her hands and curled her palms against it.
Athena looked up at him and felt as though she was seeing him for the first time in years. He looked surprised by her astonishment. The lines of age now removed from his face. The youth returned and more prominent than ever.
"Remus" she whispered as a tear slipped from her eye.
She was too fragile for this. The slightest touch made her break however she couldn't get over the feeling of what it had been like in his arms.
"Here" he murmured as he took something out of one of his draws. It was a chocolate bar. He snapped some off and handed it to her.
"Eat some, you'll feel better"
Athena did take it. Remus and his chocolate. It had been his favourite food for as long as she could remember. The sweet taste calmed her slightly as she took a sip of her drink, desperately trying to avoid his eyes.
"How did Harry find out?" Remus asked,
"He was in Hogsmeade" Athena replied, "I don't know how, we were all talking about it... with the minister"
"He thinks Sirius betrayed his parents?"
"I can't tell him the truth, Dumbledore told me not to and I don't want... I don't want to lose my job, is that selfish?"
"No it's not" Remus smiled lightly, "it's hard to go against Dumbledore"
"Because he manipulates everyone" said Athena coldly,
"Yeah" Remus murmured, "he'll get over this, Harry, I'm sure he doesn't hate you"
"You should have seen him... He trusts me and I let him down"
"You did what you were instructed to do" Remus pointed out,
"He doesn't know that" Athena sighed, "I never wanted to lie to him, I swore I would never... I hate lies"
"I'm sure Harry will know the truth at some point and then he'll realise what you were doing"
"How long will I have to wait?" Athena snapped, "he's my godson and he thinks I've been keeping secrets... and he's right"
"Rena... sorry... Athena"
"It's fine" Athena interrupted,
"What?" Remus asked, looking up in confusion,
"You can call me Rena it's fine" she said, "it sounds more normal"
"Shame everything's far from normal" Remus laughed and then stopped himself as Athena frowned slightly.
"I only wanted to do what was right for Harry and I failed"
"You didn't fail" Remus sighed, he reached across the desk absentmindedly and put his hand over hers. He hadn't even realised what he was doing until he'd done it. Athena stared at his hand but she didn't move. He was just comforting her.
"Harry looks up to you, he thinks the world of you" Remus murmured, "you were the best choice for his godmother and you've been incredible for him... you always look out for him and he knows that. Harry's upset and he's confused but nothing else has changed. He'll come around"
"You think so?" Athena asked,
"I know so" Remus spoke with a nod as he leant back in his chair and took his hand off hers. Athena felt colder without him there. It was a weird feeling, sitting here so normally as though what happened hadn't happened.
Then again, they were adults, they didn't have to be avoiding each other like a couple of teenagers. Time had passed and things had changed but they were still Athena and Remus. Even if that didn't mean the same thing as it had done twelve years ago.
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A/n
Words - 2084
Published - 10th May 2021