☆Desire☆
•Kokichi's POV•
Then silence.
The room when quiet. The screams stopped and the crying haulted. The execution had ended with a brutal sight. The smell of blood lingered in the stuffy air.
Everyone hesitated to move. They all just sat there, helplessly. We all thought we were going to be fine. We thought the motive would not provoke anyone, but we thought wrong.
I was then woken from my trance and carefully lifted to my feet and pulled back into a loose hug, an act of comfort. I examined my classmates. Maki was laying unconscious on the cold floor and Tenko was being picked up and comforted by Gonta. Tsumugi cried as well.
People soon started to clear out of the room. Maki was carried to her room by Kaito and Tenko was carried by Gonta. Shuichi and I were the last to leave.
"How about we just go to our own rooms for the night?" I said weakly.
"Yeah that'll be fine, if you need anything just feel free to knock on my door at anytime...ok?"
We walked down to the dorms together silently. Shuichi looked exhausted but it was clear that I probably looked just as tired. I swayed back and forth as I walked trying to keep myself awake.
Before we entered our dorms we exchanged keys and went our separate ways. I went back to my own room and everything was almost how I left it, with the exception of how clean it was. There was so much I needed to do but I felt to tired to do them. Regardless I walked myself over to my desk and pulled out everything I had been working on along with a few markers and pens.
I pulled out a certain book labeled "Kokichi Oma's Script" and started writing.
This was the most important thing I had worked on. It was basically a written out script of my own death. The details were flawless and if done right I could end this game and save all my friends. Everyone would be so happy to be saved. No one would miss me if I was gone! Well maybe someone.
It was a depressing thing to write out. The pages had tear stains on them from the countless nights I had struggled to accept my own fate. One way or another I knew I would die. Option one was that I would go through with my script, Option two was a classmate would eventually get tired of me and just put me to rest, and opinion three was that I would just end my life.
It doesn't seem like a happy thought but now it just seems so relaxing. It seemed like the happiest way to go in my situation. All the nights I wished I wasn't born would go away. The nights I feared death would be over. All my problems would be gone, how peaceful it all sounded...
I continued to work silently until my eyes fell to heavy. All the all nighters I've pulled have really started catching up to me.
"Actually when was the last time I got a full night's rest...?"
I soon heard my doorbell ring and I got up to get it. On the other side of the door was Kaito with a tray of food.
"Hey Oma, uh I understand that everyone is probably having a hard time after today and everything so I thought I would make sure everyone had a good meal before they go to sleep tonight! I know I can't sleep on a empty stomach anyways.."
"Well I can." I was already very used to it.
"Oh c'mon Kokichi! You need something to eat, I don't care if you only take three bites but atleast eat something..!"
"..fine whatever thank you."
"Of course bro! Also Shuichi was wanting me to check on you so how are you doing?"
"Hehe..of course he asked. Just tell him I'm doing fine!"
"No problemo! Ok goodnight sweet dreams! See you at breakfast tomorrow!" And with that I slammed the door in his face.
I walked over to my desk and placed the tray of food down. On it was a ham and cheese sandwich, some vegetables, a slice of cake, and a glass of water. It wasn't much but at least Kaito tried. I picked at the food for a while and eventually all I ate was half of the cake. I knew no one ate tonight.
The motive ended tonight and so I could see why Kaito seemed so enthusiastic. I knew I would not be happy or content but I guess I would try my best. I walked over to my whiteboard and changes the "trustworthy?" under Shuichi's picture to "trustworthy.♡"
My eyes hurt everytime I opened them and my body felt sore and burnt out. I hauled my tired body over to my bed and collapsed on the sheets. The room was pitch black and the only thing I could see was my hand right in front of me. I tried to close my eyes and drift off but nothing would happen. I tossed and turned in my sheets. No matter what I just couldn't fall asleep.
I didn't know if it was because I felt somewhat nauseous or If I was just to tired to even sleep. My body wouldn't budge so I just layed there. Eventually after I started to feel worse I fell asleep into a deep slumber.
...
I awoke In a cold sweat almost like I had woken up from a nightmare. I sat up fast and took a few deep breaths trying to calm my breathing. I pushed back the blankets and I stumbled my way over to the bathroom and flipped on the lights.
I ran over to the mirror and as my eyes adjusted the reflection I saw back was my own. I brushed my fingers through my long hair happily. I let out a sigh of relief and aloud myself to lean on the counter. I sat back up and studied my face. My face was fuller than it had been before and my cheekbones didn't stick out as much. I looked heathier than I did before.
I couldn't tell if I was disappointed or not. The feeling of envy had seemed to come back once again and my stomach felt weak. My eyes followed to the corner to see a scale. I wanted to know. I had a desire to set myself another hurtful goal. I took one step towards it.
My desire brought me closer and any other thought left my mind. I didn't want to but my legs seemed to move on there own.
A desire was the feeling of wanting to have something. I didn't want this thing. My desire was leading me on a path I didn't want to be on. This wasn't a desire. I didn't feel like hurting myself, I didn't feel like starving myself, and I didn't feel like I wanted this.
I stopped. I didn't move another inch. I took a step back. I took another step back. I continued to walk away. I walked over to the tray of food I left on my desk. I picked up the sandwich and took a bite.
I took another bite.
I took another one.
And another one.
Again.
Again.
And again.
The tray was soon empty. I rushed out of my dorm. I ran down to Shuichi's door and I continously knocked on it. Shuichi opened the door and pulled me into a tight hug.
"Is everything ok Kokichi!?"
"Shuichi! I finnished my food! I ate it all! It's all gone! Are you proud of me!?"
He looked down at me with his eyes watering.
"Of course I'm proud of you, you could never disappoint me.."
Shuichi leaned down and planted a kiss on my forehead and then pulled me into his room. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in closer. The tender moment was purely happiness. The comfort I felt with him was one of the only things keeping me going. We wispered kind and loving things to each other as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
I leaned my head on Shuichi's chest and listened to his heart beat. He played with my purple curls and we just stayed in each others arms. Time seemed to sit still for just a bit. Just him and I.
"May I cuddle with Saihara-Chan tonight? I love him so dearly."
"Absolutely.."
I lead Sahara by the hand and pulled him under the covers with me. I snuggled in his chest and wrapped my arms around him affectionately. Shuichi placed a hand behind my head and another one on my back, kissing me one more time on the cheek and forehead.
"I love you kokichi, sweet dreams.."
"I love you to Dearest, goodnight.."
This is what I desired.
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•Total word count : 1496•