Willow's POV
"Well one of the first signs to notice is when you get near them there is a smell that you are instantly attracted to. It is unique not only to the person emitting the scent but to the one smelling it." He took a deep breath and so do I as I am hit with that same fragrance as the first time I met him but this time it is stronger and has a distinct calming affect on my anxiety while at the same time exciting my libido. "Another indication is when you look into each other's eyes you feel a connection." He says leaning forward slightly maintaining eye contact with me. "Also when you touch especially skin to skin you feel the attraction of your body's base electrical current to that of your mate's. It has been described as tingles, sparkles, even as a slight shock." He reached forward and slowly ran his finger from the back of my hand up to my elbow and back down leaving a trail of sensations exactly like he had just described.
I shivered not just from what I just felt physically but based on what he just told me we're mates. But how is that even possible with me being a human. "What happens when you find your mate?"
"Typically the mated pair recognize each other they formally accept the other by repeating the mate oath. Then they mark the other as a way to claim them, finally they complete the mating ritual. To put it in familiar terms for you. The mate oath is like the wedding vows but much simpler, the mark is like the wedding rings but permanent, and the mating ritual is like consummating the marriage."
"How long does this whole process take? It almost feels like you skip the whole 'getting to know each other' part." I have some mixed feelings. What if your mate is a total asshole, an abusive jerk, or someone who just doesn't have the patience to let you deal with grief in your own way and goes and sleeps with your best friend as you lay emotionally shattered in the other room?
"Depends on the mated pair. Some people do the whole ritual on the first day that they meet and trust the Goddess to have given them their perfect match. Others will accept the bond right away but get to know each other before marking and mating. The key is communication with your mate. To express your desires, your concerns, your hopes and your fears and trust that it will all work out the way it is supposed to."He is now holding my hands and the tingles are intensifying.
"What happens if it doesn't work out?" I can't help but think of my past, of Derek. Damn I haven't thought of his name in a year but instead of pain or sorrow I feel nothing when I think of him.
"It's rare that things don't work out in a mated pair especially between true mates for the simple fact that true mates can sense the other's emotions, they share happiness, they share fear, they share pain, and they share pleasure. But the biggest reason why those bonds rarely fail is because when you meet the other all of a sudden their happiness becomes your number one priority. You feel drawn to them, just being with them brings peace to your heart and soul. You could be having the worst day of your life and when your mate wraps their arms around you and you inhale their scent it is like a soothing balm to your entire system and you feel like you can conquer anything, can overcome any obstacle as long as they are by your side."
"Sounds like a fairy tale to be honest. A perfect person created just for you that makes you feel strong and whole. What happens if a mate dies?"I know this will be difficult for him to answer. Based on what Lia told me about his late wife she was his true mate and even though I feel this connection to him doesn't mean he feels it in return. He already had his perfect match, so where did that leave me?
He took a deep breath, "When one of a mated pair dies the surviving half has a really difficult time. Sometimes they literally go crazy with grief, they lose their humanity and go rogue. Some become so bitter that they inflict pain on those around them unfortunately when this happens it is often the pups that are hurt because they remind the wolf of the mate that was lost. For the lucky ones that have a really good support system their grief is shared and the surviving mate continues living. A lot of times it can feel like a half life like something is always missing but they can reconnect with those around them and eventually they can feel happiness and peace again."
"Is that what happened to you after Lili died? You had the support system in place to help you heal?" I didn't lose a mate but in a way I felt like I lost something far greater and when I needed a support system it wasn't there and I was left alone and broken.
"Yes I had the whole pack who was grieving the loss of their Luna. I had Jasper and Graden who helped carry the load of the pack while I grieved but the biggest help was Natalia. She stepped up in a way that I could never repay her for. She helped finish raising Ryder, She fulfilled the role of Luna, She was always one of my best friends but during that time she was the pillar that held me up and the binding that kept the pack from falling apart. I don't know what I would have done without her." He had tears running down his face a she spoke of his sister and how much she meant to him. I reached over and wiped the tears from his cheeks.
"You truly are blessed with amazing family and friends. Didn't your parents come and help at all? Lia said they live in Philadelphia."Why did Lia have to shoulder so much, shouldn't his parents have come and helped?
"They serve on the Council and at the time they were investigating a pack that was rumored to be plotting to over throw the council as such they were out of communication for 2 years. By the time they found out about Lili the worst of it had passed. They did come back for a short while but were called away again on council business."
"Who are the council and what is so important that it keeps your parents away for so long?" It would kill me to know that my parents are out there somewhere and not be able to see them for years.
"The council is made up of representatives from each pack, typically former Alphas or Betas. Their job is to make sure that packs are not violating the rules and if they are to deal with them accordingly."
"What are the rules?"
"There aren't many. The biggest one is the rule of secrecy that humans are kept unaware of the supernatural world. They also ratify peace treaties between packs, settle disputes regarding land or pack members, and if there are claims of an alpha abusing his power to hurt his pack members, is warring with surrounding packs, or is plotting against the council, they have the authority to strip that alpha of his title and pack and give it to someone else."
"Did you break the rule of secrecy by telling me?" I asked worried that he was going to get into trouble.
"No sweetheart, The rule of secrecy has certain contingencies built into it for situations such as ours. However before I could talk to you about it I had to get permission from the current Alpha of the territory." Did he just call me sweetheart? And what did he mean by situations like ours?
"When did you ask permission?" We only met 3 days ago.
"Last night actually. After you left I asked Ryder if I could tell you about us." He smirked while stroking the backs of my hands with his thumbs.
"That must have been an interesting conversation 'Hey son, I know I just met this chick but I want to tell her that I'm a werewolf. Is that cool?'" I said while making my voice as low as it could go trying to mimic his voice.
Apparently I did a really crappy impression because he was laughing so hard he almost fell backwards off the bed. Pulling me forward and almost landing on top of the remnants of our breakfast.
"Actually he already recognized that you were my mate so it was pretty simple."He said still chuckling while he righted himself on the bed. I however was frozen in place half leaning forward half seated. He just called me his mate but that's impossible, Lili was his mate. I'm just, well, me. A silly human that developed feelings seemingly overnight for a gorgeous werewolf that gave his heart away a longtime ago. Then why did he say I was his mate?
"Willow, sweetheart, are you okay?" He asked helping me sit back down and taking my hands in his again. I didn't even notice he had moved the board of food to the other side of the bed so we were sitting with our knees now touching.
I look up into his eyes, "Why would you say we are mates? Lili was your mate, I am.. well... nothing." My voice broke on the last word because that is how I felt for the last 2 years like I was nothing. I was an invisible shell that no one noticed, well no one noticed until I came to Snow Moon.
He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to push him away because I felt the tingles in my skin, the scent of him, the warmth of his embrace were all mocking me, teasing me with the love and acceptance I so desperately longed for but were not mine to have, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead I pulled deeper into his embrace. Even though I know this wouldn't last I would enjoy it while I could. This would be my moment to look back on for years to come. I finally had a brief glimpse of what true love could feel like and I wanted to cherish it.
"Willow, please look at me." I tilted my head up to meet his gaze. "Yes, Lili was my mate and I loved her completely." I tried to look away because this is where he tells me that I could never take her place. But he cupped my face with his hand and maintained eye contact. "You however are also my mate. You are what we call a second chance mate. Not everyone gets one. I consider myself blessed to have found you. In fact I have been blessed by the Goddess so much so that not only have I been given another chance but that you were led to me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are meant for each other in ways that we have yet to discover but I am looking forward to that journey with you. I bet we will continue to find things we have in common and ways that we compliment each other. You are not nothing, you are my everything!" he leaned forward and rested his forehead against mine, "I need you to understand something though. My love is not a competition. I will never compare you to Lili. The love and connection we build together will be unique to us. All I ask is that you not compare me to your ex-husband. Give us a chance, please."
"So you feel it too? The tingles, the scent, everything?" I ask hopefully.
"Yes, I feel it too. I dare say I feel it stronger than you because I feel it on my human side and my wolf side." He pressed his lips to my forehead sending a shower of sparks down my body. Then he inhaled deep groaning a little bit and he tightened his arms around me.
"What do I smell like to you?" If the smell is so unique I wonder what my scent is.
"You smell like warm mulled wine, spicy and complex, absolutely perfect.Your scent is intoxicating and I crave it like a starving man craves food." He takes another deep breath. "Out of curiosity, what do I smell like to you?"
"I've been trying to figure that since Friday night." I sigh out of frustration.
"Just say what comes to mind. Take a deep breath, the neck area has the most potent smell." He suggested while tilting his head to the side to give me more access.
I turn so I am straddling his lap with my knees on either side of his hips. I lean into him and take a deep breath right at the crook of his neck like he has done to me a few times. "You smell like a mountain forest" another deep breath, "That's it! You smell like a mountain forest after a summer thunder storm. I can smell the wet earth and trees that have been reenergized by the lightening and kissed by sunshine. That is the closest description to what you smell like." I take another deep breath and then I kiss him right where his shoulder meets his neck.
He growled and the next thing I know I am on my back with my hands stretched above my head and pinned under him while he is panting heavily his eyes so dark they are almost black. "Sweetheart, you have to be careful when doing that. I was already on edge from you scenting me and then when you kissed my marking spot and I almost lost control of Tavan and he would have marked and mated you in an instant. Please baby I'm hanging on by a thread here just give me moment to calm down." He continued to breathe heavily although he was slowing down and sitting back up. He did pull me back into his lap but sideways so I was no longer straddling him.
"So is Tavan really the name of your wolf?" I asked trying to steer the conversation to safer waters.
"Yes. It was quite the shock when you told me about your dream. You described him perfectly, his size, and his coloring. Then when you said his name he started howling in my head. In fact he hasn't shut up about the fact that you dreamed about him before you had a dream about me." He said with a smirk.
"So you and he have conversations, in your head?" This is intriguing and a little unsettling too.
"Yes, I can see him in my minds eye. I hear his words." He pauses for a moment and smiles then continues "He said to tell you that he likes the way you fit between his paws and that he really likes how you scratch behind his ears." I couldn't help but giggle.
"So when you are in human form you are in charge and when you are in wolf form Tavan is in charge?" I have never thought about a werewolf being 2 separate beings in the same body.
"Not always. Either of us can be in charge of either form. The secret to knowing who is in charge is the color of the eyes. When I am in charge our eyes are blue but if Tavan is in charge our eyes will be amber. Watch" He closes his eyes for a few seconds when he opens them they are amber and he tightens his hold on me as he nuzzles into my neck sniffing or what Dom called scenting me. Tavan is way more aggressive then Dom and is kissing me and nibbling my neck especially the base of my neck causing a cascade of shivers and tingles through my body and they start to pool in my core.
I pull back enough so that I could look into his eyes. "Tavan, It's nice to meet you."
"It's nice to finally meet you too little mate." His voice is similar to Dom's but is slightly deeper and has a gravely edge to it. Just like in my dream. He tries to get back to my neck again and he is getting aggressive as he starts to lay me down with him on top.
"Tavan, I need you to give control back to Dom please." I hope he gives control back because I have a feeling Tavan may not respect that I am not ready for the whole mating thing.
Thankfully he huffs and closes his eyes and when he opens them they are back to being blue. "Sorry about him, he is a bit... uh"
"Aggressive?" I suggest
"Yeah, that's one way to put it." He grins while sitting us back up.
"So you said that this area" I rub my finger along the ridge at the base of his neck "is the marking spot. How exactly do you mark someone?"
He smiles and shivered at my touch. "Well the simple answer is you bite them."
"That sounds... painful" Now don't get me wrong biting in the right circumstances is quite enjoyable but those types of bites don't typically leave a permanent mark.
"The pain all depends on the timing of the bite and if consent has been given. If someone is forcibly marked it is quite painful. However if consent has been given and the mark is given while mating especially for the first time I have been told it is quite enjoyable." He smiles broadly and waggles his eyebrows.
"Uh.. So what exactly is the Oath. You said it is like the vows but simpler?" I don't know if I'm am willing to take an oath but I do know that when I am with Dom especially like this, wrapped up in his arms sitting in his lap, I have an extreme sense of peace.
"Are you saying you want to take the oath? Or are you just curious what the oath entails?" He asks watching me carefully while running his fingers through my hair.
"I am curious what it entails and depending on that answer I may be willing to take the oath." I don't know why I am feeling so nervous all of a sudden.
"Well the oath goes like this 'I, state your full name, accept you, state your mates full name, as my mate.' Then the other repeats the oath back so that you both accept it. Now you are on your way to being fully mated." He makes it sound so easy.
"No in sickness and in health, richer or poorer, and all that. You just accept them as is?" Well it is simpler that is for sure
"Specifics like that are unnecessary. It goes without saying that when you accept your mate that you accept them for the rest of your days regardless of circumstances." He makes it sound so easy, so perfect.
"Does it need to be a big production like a human wedding?" I hated planning my first wedding. My Mom did most of the work because she wanted it to be one of The social events of the season in Dallas. I never cared for all that pomp and circumstance stuff. I would have been perfectly happy to elope to Las Vegas.
"Not really. The big party happens when you are introduced and accepted as the newest pack member."
I groan internally, planning a big party. "When does that happen in the timeline of things?"
"Anytime after you accept your mate."
"What sort of party is expected?" I groan but wanting to hear the worst of it.
"What do you mean?" He asked confused
"Well if this is like a human wedding are there bridesmaids and groomsmen, flower girls, special dresses that are only worn once, thousands of dollars on flowers and decorations, inviting people that were friends with your grand parents because you don't want to offend anyone. Surrounded by people who expect you to act a certain way just because of your last name." the more I said the more my anxiety increases.
"Shh sweetheart, it isn't all that. Pretty much we invite the pack to the gathering. We introduce you as my mate and newest member of the pack. Then we typically have a barbecue and people mingle and dance and have fun. There is no reason to make a big production of it if you don't want there to be. You will come to understand that werewolves are pretty laid back about a lot of things. We just like an excuse to get together, eat lots of food and have fun." He kissed me again and stroked my arm.
"What if you change your mind?" I hate these doubts that keep creeping in. I didn't used to be this insecure. I used to be confident and so self assured, I knew where I was going and how to get there but now I find myself questioning everything. Looking for the loop holes that would leave me alone again.
"Not going to happen." he reassures me.
"It could happen. What if you find out something about me that you don't like or you can't live with? What if you get tired of being held back by a human mate that can't do werewolf things with you?"
"There is nothing you could say that would cause me to reject you. As for not being able to do 'werewolf' things we will figure it out. If you want to go on a pack run I can have you ride on my back as for all the other stuff, we will figure it out as we go." He continues to smile at me and holding me close.
"What do you mean reject me?" this doesn't sound good.
He takes a deep breath, "It's like a human divorce but it is excruciatingly painful for both mates and in some cases wolves have died from the pain. But more than that it is considered an insult to the Moon Goddess and if you reject a mate you also reject any second chance mate you may have had. However, you don't have to worry about that because I am never going to reject you." He said kissing my head and sending the showers of sparks cascading down my body again.