Chapter 31: Forged Bonds
~
“I’m busy teaching Freydis and Oria, can’t you bring him here?”
Scrunching my nose, I sat back in the chair across from my father’s desk. I hadn’t be brave enough to sit in his chair again.
“I don’t know, Sam. I don’t trust he won’t try and bolt the second he gets the chance,” I replied, twirling the phone cord around my finger and chewing my bottom lip.
She sighed on the other end, and I heard the clatter of metal and a tap turning on. I didn’t need to see her to know she was stressed, her usually calm tone was tighter than usual.
“Right, okay, I’ll come round as soon as I can. It might not be until late afternoon...”
“Just whenever you find time, he’s seems comfortable enough.”
“He barely flinched when I had to stitch him up,” she admitted. “I’ll let you know when I’m on my way. Can you check up on the status of the medical equipment I’m expecting? It was meant to be here yesterday.”
Leaning forward, I grabbed a pen and wrote a reminder to do as she asked on the back of my hand. “You got it. Thanks, Sam. I owe you.”
She snorted. “That you do, I’m a very busy woman. I’ll talk to you la-“
“Wait,” I rushed, sitting up straighter. “I had a question.”
“Oh?”
Pausing, I debated even asking, but curiosity for the better of me and the words were out my mouth before I could stop them.
“Can you tell if a Wulver has mixed blood by examining them?”
Silence met my question. Followed by a thoughtful hum. “By sight alone? No. It’s not like humans look much different than you do. Are you trying to say I look funny?”
“Of course not.” I chuckled. “I was just curious...and you’ve never shifted, have you?”
“This is an odd line of questioning, Raeghan.” There was a slightly defensive edge to her tone that surprised me. Sam had never seemed to care that she was half human, and was as fierce as any high-ranked Wulver. She wasn’t respected any less by the pack because her father had chosen a human mate, but she’d fought hard to earn her place here.
Her scent made strangers that came to visit a little nervous at first sometimes. We were taught to be wary of humans, and while wolf definitely lingered in her scent, she smelt more like a human who’d been around wolves, than one herself.
“No, I can’t shift,” she finally answered. “Maybe my body can’t handle the energy it takes to change forms. My senses aren’t as strong either. It makes my job easier though. I’m not seen as much of a threat even for injured wolves because even an omega could squash me like a bug.”
Was that Oria’s laughter in the background?
Tapping my chin, I soaked in everything she said to file away for inspection later. Perhaps my latest theory about Braden was wrong after all.
“Thank you again, I’ll let you get back to your work.”
Placing the phone back onto the cradle, I straightened up at the faint click of the front door opening and shutting. I rushed out of my seat with far less grace than I possessed in my rush to see if it was Quillan, Bjarke and Ebbe coming home. A smile tugged at the edge of my lips but as I rounded corner, it wasn’t Ebbe I saw slinking into the kitchen.
Following the wayward pack-mates down the hall and through the door, I paused to see what they were doing. Whispering quietly to each other, Siannon and Fenna’s mother, Maya, whispered conspiratorially while filling the fridge with food. I smiled at their thoughtfulness. I had a feeling nobody had thought to do a food shop and the fridge here was for any hungry pack wolf, not just those that lived here.
“You didn’t have to sneak in.”
Both females yelped and spun around with a jump like startled cats. I could see their hackles standing on end despite them both being in skin, each gaze holding a glow. Folding my arms, I raised on eyebrow and Siannon relaxed with a sheepish grin, pushing curly blonde hair away from her face.
“Alpha Female Cathwulf asked for the pack to stay away from the house for a few days unless there was an emergency.”
I cringed at that. While I understood why she’d asked it of the pack, it was bound to make them feel a little cut off from their Alpha pair and high ranked.
“We were just going to make sure you were well stocked up and then go,” Maya added. “I know how grumpy Quillan gets when he’s not fed on time.”
I laughed at that, and they both finally lost the tense edge to their shoulders, sharing a relieved glance. “It’s fine, I’m sure whoever is stuck with cooking tonight will be glad to just have to shove something in the oven. We appreciate it.”
Maya gave me a warm smile while Siannon continued to stare at me, scanning over my form with an analytical blue eyes. I shifted awkwardly, feeling my shoulders drop and chin lift up even while I reminded myself Siannon had no interest in challenging me.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come to see you as soon as I got back,” I offered tentatively.
A crease formed between her brows and for a second I feared a scolding but instead she rolled her eyes and flung her arms around me. Curly blonde hair blinded me but I didn’t care as I hugged her back just as tight.
“Don’t be silly. With everything going on, I can wait. I made sure to give Ben your phone so he could bring it here for you, I assume you got it. Are you okay? I don’t think we’ve ever went so long without seeing each other. You were away for bloody ages.” Pulling back, she put her hands on my shoulders and I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing as she kept talking without a chance for me to answer. “I heard that male came back with you. We have to talk about him. And the one downstairs, what’s he like? Have you met him? Oh and the alpha, gods Raeghan, how is he? We’re all so worried, we haven’t really heard anything since the pack went into lockdown.”
A lump formed in my throat with a threat of tears at the comfort Siannon brought by just being herself. It was Maya who stepped in and gently peeled my friend away from me. “Give her a chance.”
“Dad’s okay, getting stronger every day. I’m sorry nobody’s been in touch, things are a bit wild around here.” Looking around at the oddly quiet house was proof that things weren’t right. It was a struggle to get used to the echoing silence, the pups being kept out of the way so their Alpha could rest peacefully.
Maya hummed and picked up a few bags by her feet filled with more food and drink.
“I have an idea,” Maya said, motioning for Siannon to pick up the remaining bags. “I’m having a gathering for a late lunch with a few members of the pack. Everyone’s feeling unsettled and I thought it might help those seeking a little comfort. You should come too. It looks like you’re being kept in the loop, the pack would probably love to hear from you.”
My first instinct, a learned instinct, demanded I said no and ran. I’d always felt like the black sheep in gatherings; gaining pointed stares and whispers. But the new instincts that were beginning to rise and take over, the part of me that felt hurt at the idea that the pack was hurting, wanted to say yes.
Mum was busy watching over Dad and taking care of the business side of running a pack, while keeping abreast of her duties as the country’s Peacekeeper.
“I don’t know...” Chewing my lip, my fingers went to the keys in my jean pockets.
Siannon pouted. “Come on. Even if it’s just for however long it takes you to eat, you can take a break to eat, right?”
Looking between eager blues and warm browns, I found myself nodding. “Okay. Ok. I have to tie a few things up before I can leave though.”
“That’s fine!” Maya grinned, sharing another look with Siannon that made me think asking me to join them was a calculated move. To what end though? Simply so the pack could hear what was going on?
“Bring food with you. Everyone brings something.”
I gave the bags overflowing with food a speculative look and Siannon shrugged. “Some people forget. And you can never have too much food for a group of Wulvers.”
“I’ll be down as soon as I can.” I chuckled.
With smiles and waves, they left the house and I was left wondering what they were up to.
Turning in a circle, I went over what I had left to do before I could leave. Braden would need something for lunch too. Grabbing bread and what meat and cheese I could find in the fridge, I set about making as many sandwiches as I could so I could bring some down to Maya’s. The smell of food must have filled the air, because no sooner had I opened the chicken did I hear footsteps behind me.
Ben came loping in and reached out to pinch some food but I hit his hand with the butter knife.
“You can have one once I’m finished if you’ll do me a favour,” I bargained.
Ben hummed and leaned against the counter beside me, eyes narrowing playfully. “Go on.”
“Could you take down a sandwich and a drink for Braden? Sam will be up to check on him at some point but I should be back before then.” Smiling sweetly up at my father’s third, I added, “And if you know the company Sam gets her medical equipment for, she needs someone to hurry them up on a delivery.”
“Two tasks for one sandwich? I don’t think so.” He shook his head, blonde hair falling across his forehead.
I chuckled as I cut up more cheese before turning to face him. “I’ll take one of your evening border checks.”
“Deal.”
Grinning wide, he held his arm out. My hand grasped his forearm as we came to an agreement. Signy would have been proud.
Grabbing two sandwiches, he circled around the kitchen island and smirked. “I’ll have Quillan call the company now he’s back. He’s intimidating even over the phone, they won’t mess him about.”
I frowned. Quillan was back? Then where was Ebbe? He’d wanted to talk so surely he’d he come and found me... Had he changed his mind?
Anxiety twisted in my gut, a sickening flutter of butterflies in my stomach and a tightening around my throat. I shook my head and swallowed. Maybe he’d just found something to do, perhaps Quillan had given him a job to keep him occupied. He did know I was going to busy this morning after all...
***
I held my breath, listening to the murmur of voices and occasional peel of laughter that drifted out from Maya’s home. The sky was still dark and dreary, a cold breeze blowing strands of copper hair into my face while a light mist of rain tickled my skin.
Plate of sandwiches in hand, I felt ever so slightly like a sacrificial lamb as nerves coiled around me no matter how many times I told myself that those inside were as close as family. Or should have been. I knocked again, a little more confidently this time.
The door swung open after a few beats, and Maya beamed down at me. Dark hair tied into a neat bun, light brown skin glowing against the white summer dress she wore despite the heat, she radiated nothing but warmth and welcome. It melted away a small amount of my uncertainty about coming.
“Thig a-steach, come on in,” she urged, leaning down to brush her warm cheek against mine in greeting. I closed my eyes as I inhaled her sweet scent, letting the comfort it relax tense shoulders.
Ushering me into the kitchen, my eyes widened at the amount of food on every surface. Crisps, brownies, a pot of soup, and far too much bread-based food...
Maya cleared a spot so I could put down my offering, and helped me peel away the Clingfilm.
The entire time, my back prickled with the awareness of wolves in the other room. I recognised every voice and scent, some I knew better than others. Siannon was here. As was Kailum, and his mother and stepfather. I felt comfortable around them at least.
“Would you like a drink before we go through, Raeghan?” Maya’s voice startled me and from the way her eyes softened, I knew she understood I was finding this difficult.
I wasn’t shy nature, not with anyone. So why did I feel the urge to flee?
“A cuppa tea would be nice.”
But it was two bottles of wine she held up with a grin. I laughed, eyes darting to the clock above the sink. Not long after noon, but it was 5 o clock somewhere.
“White for me then, please,” I amended.
Pouring a glass, I clutched it like it would protect me from what I was about to face. Maya gently held my arm, maybe to stop me from running away, and guided me through to the large, homey living room. I heard the wolves inside talking, mentions of my father’s name that made me all the more nervous.
“Some are saying Alpha Roarke should have just ended him if he won’t respect our ways. What does a city wolf even care for challenging pack Alpha’s anyway?”
“We might never know. The amadan hasn’t spoken a word to anyone as far as I’ve heard.” I knew that voice, Arianna. She and her mate Stefan had a male, Iain, who was around a year older than me.
“Brighid told Flidais he hasn’t eaten anything either.” Kailum’s mother, Nennie, trailed off as I stepped through the door.
Maya released me and took a seat on the dark red couch beside Siannon who grinned up at me. “Hey, Raerae. Glad you could join us!”
My gaze darted around the room at wolves who stared in no small amount of surprise at my presence. I shifted awkwardly on my feet, forcing a smile while trying to keep my posture relaxed and open.
“Thanks for the invite,” I replied, moving across the room to take the only unoccupied chair left. I sunk into the soft pillow of the armchair and nearly sighed in content before taking a long sip of wine.
Nobody spoke and I began to regret deciding to come. I knew all these wolves. They’d watched me grow up. And yet none of them seemed comfortable continuing whatever they were talking about. The old me might have just stood up and stormed out, but I knew that wasn’t helping anything.
Leaning forward slightly, I cleared my throat. “The male who challenged Alpha Roarke, he was keeping his silence, but he spoke to me, a little.”
“Really?” One perfectly shaped eyebrow rose on Tala’s face and I met her disbelief with a small rumble of disapproval. Even Arianna cut the female a sharp look.
She really thought I’d lie? To what end?
“Alpha Roarke put me in charge of him when I got back, and from what I can tell, my father was right to spare him. He’s not a monster. Sometimes we stray from our path and make mistakes, he deserves a chance to put them right.”
“He almost killed your father,” Stefan stated, words shaped in a soft hint of an Italian accent, aqua green eyes holding curiosity. “He challenged for a pack he doesn’t even know or care about. I thought you, of all of us, might be unwilling to help him. The days where random wolves just showed up and fought to lead are over, we’ve become more civilised than that.”
I snorted, which gained me further odd looks and raised eyebrows. I’d said the same thing to my mother, but all I could see was how Jakkon would react to such a statement. He’d say nothing was guaranteed, not heirs becoming Alpha, or Alpha’s going unchallenged their entire reign. He’d say every wolf has the right to challenge, that honour lay in how you won and lost, and your actions after that.
Tame wolves indeed, I mused.
“If I believed the male understood every consequence of what he’d done, what such an act means to our culture, he might not have done it.” That caught their attention, more confusion as they looked between each other but for now, I’d keep Braden’s lack of Wulver knowledge to myself.
Changing tactic, I softened my voice. “How many have come to our pack for a second chance and found a place to thrive, even those that might have had ill intentions at first?”
Tala shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She’d once stood against my mother and Oria. Stefan’s family had moved here when he was a pup. Maya had come from another pack to be with her brother, Quillan. And who knew better how one sometimes just needed a fresh beginning to find their place than Quillan?
Guilty gazes dropped to the floor, and I worried I’d maybe pushed too far on my first reintroduction to the pack. Until Tala hummed and waved a hand. “I guess Raeghan has a point. We don’t know anything about him and Alpha Roarke is still our Alpha. Who am I to judge anyway?”
“That’s my job, to find out what I can about him, and I promise I’ll do that. After we’ve gotten to know him better, Alpha Roarke can better decide his fate.”
“How is our Alpha,” Nennie asked from across the room.
Wolves suddenly tensed at the question, eyes darting away from mine to the floor, wall, anywhere but me. But I could feel their concern for him thrum through the pack bond; I was more in tune with it after what happened than I’d ever been before. I found comfort in its constant presence now.
“Dad’s well. He would be here if he was allowed, he’s being kept in bed by order of my mother,” I replied lightly. It got a few chuckles and they dared to glance back at me, but said nothing. I was holding their attention, I realised, they were silent because they wanted me to speak. So I did.
“A lot of you saw what happened, if I understand it right. So there’s no point lying, he was badly injured, and he still needs time to heal. You need to remember that despite what happened, he’s as strong and capable-“
“Nobody doubts him, Raeghan.” Arianna interrupted gently, shaking her head. “The challenge hasn’t swayed a single mind in the pack about where our loyalties lie. Watching him fight on when we all felt how close he was to faltering only proved we have an Alpha worthy of us.”
I relaxed at the nods and murmurs of agreement her words gained, warmth filling my chest. Dad would be proud of his packmates.
“He might be out of commotion for a while. So if there’s anything anyone needs help with that he normally takes care of, please come to me. While our Alpha rests, I’ll make sure everything is still being taken care of.”
Wide eyes and open mouths hadn’t been the reaction I was expecting. Only Siannon was grinning, watching all the other wolves reactions.
Stefan considered me with dark eyes a moment before asking, “You won’t be too busy between training with Weylin and now watching a prisoner as well?”
There was no sarcasm or bite in his tone, but there was a degree of... scepticism. And that’s when it hit me again how wrong the path I’d been walking was...
I’d always hated feeling like the outsider in situations like this. I never really went to these small gatherings for lunch and gossip, where wolves got a chance to bond, partially because I was so busy focussing on making myself stronger, and partially because I stopped being invited.
That had hurt.
Only recently did I begin to understand there was more to the reason why than I believed. Because how many times had I declined because I thought it was more important to become as formidable as possible? A warrior. Emotionless and fearless. But that wasn’t what made a wolf an Alpha.
Dad made time to take less able pack members shopping, or help them around the house. He babysat newborn pups in his office while he continued to work, so mated pairs could rest or enjoy a night out. He helped build sheds, mend fences, with plumbing and electric, anything and everything.
I’d stopped going with him in my early teens. I’d cut myself off from the pack, as much as they’d made me feel the need to do so.
In my quest for leadership, I’d forgotten all about the ones I would lead. I had bridges to mend, even if opinions on my ambitions never changed.
“I won’t be training with Weylin so much anymore. I’ll find the time to help where I can in any way I can, this is my promise to you, my pack. Please spread the word so everyone knows. I’d hate to think someone is suffering in silence because they didn’t want to inconvenience anyone.”
Once more I was being stared at, but there was a softness to their expressions alongside the surprise that still lingered. Small smiles, and the atmosphere immediately shifted with melting tension.
Any thanks given was met with a slight blush and shake of my head. It felt wrong to be thanked for something I should have been doing my whole life.
Conversation turned to lighter topics after that, and laughter once more filled the house. More wolves arrived, and I didn’t care that I had to repeat news of my father’s health and progress with Braden over and over again.
It was amazing to watch everyone open up more freely in my presence. Word spread of my offer to help and I was immediately bombarded with a list of tasks that I took note of on my phone. In amongst the juicy pack gossip, more serious questions asked would end up with heads turning my way for answers or opinions, which made me straighten up with pride.
Heading through to the kitchen to refill glasses and bring through more food, Siannon finally caught a moment alone with me.
She piled sandwiches on paper plates while I opened yet another bottle of wine. But my gaze kept flicking to the clock and I chewed my lip.
“You’re free to leave if you have to.”
Eyeing my friend in suspicion, I leaned against the counter beside her. Blue eyes remained focussed on her task but she couldn’t stop her lips from turning up.
“You planned all this and I can’t figure out why.” Folding my arms, I made it clear I wouldn’t budge until she spilled.
Putting down her knife, she faced me and smiled wistfully. “I can’t train with you, or teach you about politics or logistics, but I can help you with this. With forging stronger relationships with the pack. And we, the pack, can help shoulder some of the burden too. We’re here for our high ranked as much as they’re here for us. You over dominant wolves seem to forget that sometimes.”
Poking my forehead, she narrowed her eyes and I laughed as I batted her hand away. She had a point. I couldn’t thank her enough for what she’d helped me achieve today. How could I? She’d made home feel a little more like it used to when I was younger.
“Only a few weeks at university and you’re already so wise,” I teased, because the seriousness of the conversation was making me self-conscious. Just because I’d learned to open up a little, didn’t mean I wanted to be caught crying in Maya's kitchen
“One of us has to be the clever one,” she fired back then cackled when I rolled my eyes. “Got you there, didn’t I?”
She did. If I was smart, I might have decided not to act so defensive with everyone all the time. That might have created less resistance against me.
Today though? Not one bad word had been said about me possibly becoming Alpha, not a single snide remark or look of disapproval. How much of their disdain had all been in my head because of my own fears and doubts?
“I’ll stay for another wee while,” I stated. “If someone at the house needs me, they’ll call.”
Pleased with my answer, she took a huge bite of brownie and bowed her head in a dramatic show of submission. I swore, she spent far too much time around the humans. Both of us grinning like children, we carefully carried food and drink back through for the new arrivals. Wolves stood to greet me, cheek to cheek, hands and arms touching, scents all mingling together.
Surrounded by males and females I’d grown up with, I felt safe and loved in their company again.
My assurances had calmed them. Their confiding in me had given me confidence. And for the first time, I could see myself becoming Alpha of these wolves without having to fight them tooth and claw every step of the way. It gave me hope that one day, I would find here, complete acceptance.