"Well, he didn't see you cry, now did he?" Harper asked me on the phone. I just got back from Boston a couple days ago and I have avoided him like the plague. It's not like I didn't want to, I felt guilty about my own jealousy and my own emotions. I can't be bitter about this... it's not his fault.
"No, he was gone by then." I laid down on the floor, looking up at the ceiling. That's what I like to do when I can't deal with situations like this. My anxiety grabs a hold of it like an anchor, and just never knows when to let go. I want to let this go so I can worry about the things going on in my life. I didn't want to focus on Chris, or Sawyer... or the wedding in that matter. But for some reason, that's all I can think about. Chris has tried texting non stop, trying to make sure I was okay and I was still on for this Saturday for our stargazing session. I try to keep it short and sweet because whenever I talk to him now, I just get upset.
"I'm sorry Reece," She tells me. "Truly, I am... if I was in love with my best friend who was getting married, I wouldn't know what to do. You have some guts."
"Believe me, I wish I wasn't going through with this." I reply to her, sitting up. "I'm angry though, because I wish I wasn't going through this. I want to listen to my brain but my heart is telling me other things."
"Like what?"
"Don't move on from it and let it crush me." I sighed. Harper let out a soft laugh, and I could almost hear the disappointment through her actions on the phone. "I'd pay to see that."
There's a number calling me. I move my phone away from my ear and my eyes widen. He pops up at the most surprising times. "Hey Harp, I will call you back." I let her know.
"It's Chris, isn't it?!" She squeals through the phone like a schoolgirl. "Oh my god, give me details afterwards or I will be pissed."
Typical Harper. I end Harper's call and answer Chris's hoping for the worst. I wish that wasn't even an option, but lately with him.. those are the only options I have. "Hello Christopher," I smiled through the phone. "Why are you calling me at this time of night?"
I heard loud music in the background and chatter. "Reece! Reece, hey!" He shouts into the phone. I can notice the slur in his voice, I can tell he is somewhere but not sober. "I'm calling you because I want to! Duh, silly."
"Okay, Chris... where are you?" I questioned him and he laughed at my question. Oh yeah, he is definitely drunk. "Chris! Don't laugh at me, and answer my question."
"Well, I was in a bar... and now I am not." He giggles softly. I get up and grab my keys, just in case I have to pick him up from safety. "I was having this really good time with Sawyer and her friends, then we got in a fight because she did something that made me feel uncomfortable. Now I'm outside the bar, on the sidewalk."
"What was the fight about?" I twirl my keys in my hand, wanting to know what went down. I know it's none of my business, but he's an open book at the moment. Anything could come out of his mouth.
"She was making sexual jokes to her guy friends and flirting with them right in front of me!" He explained, sounding heartbroken. "So I told her and she got mad at me... so I left. And I'm alone and bored."
"I'm picking you up." I tell him, running down stairs to put on my worn out pair of tennis shoes. My hair might be in a bun, not looking my red carpet best. But my best friend needs me. I can tell this is bothering him and the last thing I want to happen to him is to get hurt. When he is drunk. it's a free game to him.
"Reece, nooooo!" I heard him whine, but I wasn't taking no for an answer.
"Don't Reece me." I make my way to my car, not hanging up the phone because I need to know where he is at and plus he has to have someone to talk to. Someone familiar to talk to, someone he can trust with his life. Sawyer is not one of those people right now, in fact.. she's at the bottom of the list. "What bar are you at?"
"Reece."
"Christopher Robert Evans." I say sternly and clearly. "Answer the question."
I heard him sigh, knowing I wasn't going to go down without a fight. "I'm the one that Reed loves... You know? The one right next to that bakery you and Scott love."
"On it, say on the phone with me." I tell him, starting my engine up and pulling out of the driveway. I can't believe he got himself into this mess. But also, he deserves better than her. He deserves someone better than Sawyer. He deserves someone that will treat him like a trophy, a valuable possession. Not something that is easy to throw away.
"Reece, I'm a grown man! I can handle it myself." He argues with me, but I am not buying it.
"Chris, you may be a grown man but you are acting like a child. Hush it, would you?" I bickered with him, keeping my eyes open while I drove to the bar.
"No, you." He mumbled.
"No, you?"
"Yeah! You heard me, no you!" He tells me again. I rolled my eyes at this comment. I am convinced when Chris has too many drinks, he turns into a middle school boy. "Chris," I asked through the phone. "How many drinks have you had, just out of curiosity?"
"Too many." He replies. I knew it.
"Okay, well stay where you are. I mean it." I threaten as I turn down a busy street. I am familiar with this area, so I should be arriving there soon.
"Fine, you party pooper." He mumbles into the phone. He knows that if I was in this situation he would help me out, and do the same thing. Sure he could've called Scott or even Reed. But he called me. I don't know why I was the first person called, especially knowing the fact I haven't seen him since he walked into my room that night.
I eventually turn up at the bar I am familiar with. I assume that he made his way to this bar without Sawyer, and I spotted him sitting on the edge of the curb. I pull up in front of him, and his baby blue's shoot up and cracks a smile. I rolled my window down, giving him a stern look.
"You look mad at me." He pouted, looking up at me. His hair is a mess from the Boston hat he was wearing which was now in his hand.
"I am not mad, but get in the car. Now." I ordered, and he doesn't argue with me. He gets up from where he was sitting and stumbles into the passenger side. Part of me is hoping there is no paparazzi around, because the last thing I need is Chris's reputation. But I look around and I don't spot anyone weird and any flashing lights. We're in the clear. He shuts the car door and smiles brightly at me.
"It took you long enough," He tells me as he buckles up his seatbelt. I roll up my window, so nobody notices that Captain America just walked into my car drunk. I pull away from the bar and make my way back to my house, I would drop Chris off at his house... but I think Sawyer might be there. The last thing he needs is to be drunk and arguing with his bride to be.
"I had to follow the law, Chris." I mumbled, looking over at him just a little bit since I am driving. "So, Sawyer was flirting with someone in front of you?"
"I don't want to talk about it." He looks out the window, and I respect what he wants so I drop the thought. He looks back over at me, with a big grin on his face. "Reece!"
"What, Chris?" I asked.
"You look really pretty tonight."
WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?
"I'm sorry?" I asked, hoping I didn't hear what I heard come out of his mouth. He lets out a laugh, the one where you can tell when he is not sober. "I said, you look really pretty tonight."
I know this wasn't going to end well, but it's making me feel good on the inside. This is what I wanted, but what I also didn't want. Drunk sayings are always said to just be sober thoughts, but I know maybe he is saying this just because he has had too much to drink. I don't want to burst his bubble because he has already had enough stuff happen. "You think I look pretty tonight?" I asked him and he nodded.
"Well, I hate to break it to you pal. But I am not looking my best," I said. "Right now, I look like a train wreck. I was actually about to go to bed before you called me."
"Well, you look really pretty Reece. Seriously." He placed his hand on his chin and looked up at me like I was a shiny prize. The car got silent as I decided not to say anything more, but Chris just wanted to keep talking.
"Can I sing you a song?"
I turn my head, giving him a curious look. "A song?" I questioned and he nodded. "Chris, I don't need a song... please I'm-"
"Too late!" He sits up looking at me and clears his throat. "A song for you... Miss Carter!" Oh brother... I wonder how this will go.
"I got sunshine, on a cloudy day." He sings off pitch, and I keep my eyes on the road and my face somewhat emotionless. He was my sunshine on a cloudy day... well he used to be. I missed the days when he was the highlight. Not something I was scared of and what I dreaded.
"When it's cold outside, I've got the month of May." He belts out softly, and his eyes are just hawking me down. It's making me smile. I shouldn't be though. I should be ignoring him, and bringing me home. He is drunk! He doesn't mean this.
"I'd guess, you'd say." He starts to sway slowly as he imagines the music in the background. "What can make me feel this way, my girl." He sings softly and points to me as he mentions the 'my girl' part.
"I am not your girl Chris."
"My girl, my girl!" He belts out even louder, like he is doing it to ignore what I just said. "Talking about my girl! My girl-"
My head turns to him and I give him a look. What does he do? He gives me a smirk. "Stop that." I tell him, turning on to another street. We're almost home, and my goal till then is not to do anything stupid or from him to do anything stupid. "Stop what?" He asks, cheekily, just like he knows what he is doing.
"That!" I stated. "Okay, we're going to play a game... alright? It's called 'You are not going to make a single peep until we get back to my place and if you look at me one more time with that look, I will throw you out of this car."
"We both know you wouldn't do that to me." Smart ass. He's right, I wouldn't.
I groan softly. "You're right, I wouldn't. But maybe I can change my mind." I threaten. He doesn't make another peep as I drive my way back home. I pulled into the driveway and put my car in park. "Congrats, you won the game." I let him know as I got out of the car. He follows and tries to stand on his own two feet, but it is a disaster.
"You're going to fall on your ass." I rush over to his side and wrap his arm around my shoulder. "I don't want you to fall on your face and ruin that movie star face of yours." He snickers loudly as we start to walk towards the door.
"Reece, I am not crippled." He lets me know. I opened up the door and walked into my home. I bring him over to the couch to lay him down. He lays down on the couch and hums softly, and I shut the door behind me.
"God, you look so cute right now." He mutters. I know he is just talking out of his ass and won't even remember what he even said when he becomes sober. But, god am I loving it. I'm getting the feel where you put a hot compress on your chest and you feel warm and fuzzy inside. But it's a feeling I shouldn't be getting, because I know it's wrong. It's very wrong.
"Quit it." I muttered, walking into the kitchen to give him some water so he can sober up. I fill up a glass of water, knowing that is the right amount to give him for him to hopefully sober up. I also spotted a granola bar sitting to my left, so I grabbed it and shoved it in my pocket.
I walked back into the living room where I left Chris and he had the biggest grin on his face. "Christopher, I mean it," I warned him, giving him his water and food. "Quit calling me cute and eat your granola bar." He grabs the things I gave him and the next moment, he's attacking the granola bar like it's the last thing he will ever meet. Munchies work in different, but weird ways.
"Reece, what kind of granola bar is this?"
"Does it matter?" I asked.
"Does it matter?" He repeats what I said, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Of course it matters! This is the best granola bar in my life. Now what kind is this? Quaker Oats?!" I grabbed the wrapper that was laying on his lap, and just to his surprise it was Quaker Oats. I nodded my head, but he just laid back to get comfortable.
"Do you regret picking me up tonight?" He asks me as he munching away on his granola bar. Part of me does though, I would always rescue Chris if he was in trouble and he was. But he's giving me mixed signals when he is calling me cute, and making these looks towards me. It's like he's messing with my emotions, because he doesn't even know any better right now. He's looking like he's seeing the sunset, I want that look to be around all the time.
"No, you know I'd do anything for you. Even if it involves you making bad choices." I let him know. He gives me a soft smile, happy about my answer. I hope the feeling is mutual as well because we have been friends for so long.
"You know I'd do anything for you too, Reese's Pieces."
I am just wishing he wasn't drunk out of his mind so I can actually know this means something. Maybe this is coming from his heart, all of this flirting... but I highly doubt it one bit. It wasn't like it for him, drunk or not. I rest back on the sofa, and the room falls silent.
"I don't regret anything with you Chris." I whispered, but it's not the truth. I wished I would have confessed my feelings a very long time ago and told you how I really felt. Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation but instead in each other's arms without any worry in the world. It's the way I want to hold you like we were at Lovers Lane. I want nothing blocking my way. But I can't push it. I have to let things be what they need to be.
"I regret one thing with you." I turn to him, and he's sitting up with his knees on his legs. He's looking me in the eyes. You couldn't even tell that he's plastered. I feel my heart drop in my stomach.
"What's that one thing?" I asked.
"I think we both know what the one thing is Reece," He whispers back. "Deep down you know."
"I have no clue what you are talking about." I play it off, but he starts inching closer to me. His face is just centimeters from mine. Is he about to kiss me right now? OH MY GOD, HE'S ABOUT TO KISS ME NOW! I snap back to reality, just to make sure this wasn't actually happening, but it is happening. Part of me knows this is a horrible idea and this would damage our relationship at the moment but I am feeling that that Queen song. I want to break free at this moment. No Sawyer, no wedding. Just the two of us right here, with nobody else around.
He stops while he is just inches from my face, and I can't help not to pull away. He looks at me speechless, like it's the first time has ever kissed me. Which was not true one bit. "Chris?" I whispered, diving deep into his eyes.
He licks his lip, "Reece, can I kiss you?" He asked me.
I nodded, and suddenly I melted into his. I know this is wrong, but he won't even remember this. The problem is I want him to remember this. I want him to remember this moment. He kisses me slowly, but passionately. He's delicate as well, as if he didn't want to break me. But nothing will ever break me with him.
A few moments went by and we pulled away from each other. "Chris, we shouldn't have done that." I tell him but he shakes his head.
"I know we shouldn't have, but I just can't help it." And I can't help myself either. I lean in again, and kiss him with all the passion I had in my body. I know I'll never get a chance to do this again, but I need to do it before it's too late. I don't want any resentment from this. I don't want any regrets from this moment.
But this is just going to hurt me in the long run.
-
Hi besties! Thank you guys so much for being patient. I am back on a writing kick so new chapters will be coming soon! I also started up work again, so I will try my best to get them up quickly. Love you guys :)