Jr: Ok, let's listen to something that's both a song parody and also a history thing
Deku: What is it about
Jr: The Spanish Inquisition
The video starts in a torture chamber with Eric Cartman.
Inko: Who's that kid
Jr: That's Eric Cartman, I hate him, he doesn't like being called fat, he cursed a lot, he hates Jewish people, and became Hitler at one point
Denki: We still don't know what Hitler even do, other than somehow the "Enemy" in WW2
Jr: Oh, did I mentioned that Cartman have his bully's parents tricked into someone's property just to be shot and killed, have their dead bodies turned into chili, and then tricked the bully into eating in to reveal it, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, as well as licking his tears as he cried of his parents being dead
Everyone was dead silent over what Cartman did.
[Inquisitor]
(spoken)
All pay heed! Now enters his holiness Eric Cartman, the Grand Inquisitor of the Spanish Inquisition!
Cartman; do not employ him for compassion
Cartman; do not beg him for forgiveness
Cartman; do not ask him for mercy
Let's face it, you can't Cartman anything!
Everyone: (Sweat drops) Seriously
[Cartman]
(spoken)
Let all those who wish to confess their evil ways and accept and embrace the true church convert now or forever burn in hell for now begins the Inquisition!
Ibara: Oh no
Kendo: What's wrong
Ibara: I don't know why it just occurred to me now, but the Spanish Inquisition is about the Christians torturing the Jewish people to death
Everyone then was shocked.
Jr: This is one of the reasons why I respect people by their race and religion
(Cartman slides down to the monks)
(sung)
The Inquisition, let's begin
The Inquisition, look out sin
We have a mission
to convert the Jews (Jew ja Jew ja Jew ja Jews)
We're gonna teach them wrong from right
We're gonna help them see the light
And make an offer that they can't refuse (that the Jews just can't refuse)
[Refrain]
Confess (confess, confess)
Don't be boring
Say yes (say yes, say yes)
Don't be dull
A fact you're ignoring
It's better to lose your skullcap than your skull
[Jews]
Oy oy gevalt
[Cartman]
The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
Bakuhoe: I wish they-
We know you're wishin'
That we'd go away
Kirishima: OH HE KNEW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY BAKUBRO
Bakuhoe: SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR
But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay
The Inquisition, oh boy
The Inquisition, what a joy
The Inquisition, oy oy
[Jewish Man]
I was sitting in a temple
I was minding my own business
I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass
Then these papus persons plunge in, and they throw me in a
Dungeon, and they shove a red hot poker up my ass
Is that considerate?
Is that polite?
And not a tube of Preparation H in sight
Everyone couldn't say anything until Kaminari spoke up.
Denki: Still, could be worse
Kyoka: Don't say that you idiot
[Kyle Broflovski]
I'm was sittin', in my home
and I'm looking through the TV Channels'
and suddenly these guys break down my walls
I didn't even know them, except fucking Cartman
and they grabbed me by the scrotum
and they started playing ping pong with my balls
Everyone: THEY DID WHAT?!?!
Fuck, the agony
Ooh, the shame
To make my privates public for a game
Denki: Me and my big mouth
Iida: THIS IS VERY WRONG
Huey, Dewey, Louie, Olley, Kota, Eri, Mahoro, and Katsuma: BOO, CARTMAN SUCKS
[Hook]
The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishing
That we'd go away
But the Inquistion's here and it's here to -
[Executioners]
- Hey, Eric Cartman, whaddaya say?
[Cartman]
I just got back from the auto-da-fé
[Executioners]
Everyone/Executioners: Auto-da-fé? What's an auto-da-fé?
[Cartman]
It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway
Jr: Auto-da-fé means "Act of faith" btw
[Interlude]
Skit skat voodely vat tootin de day
Will you convert?
No, no, no, no
Will you confess?
No, no, no, no
Will you revert?
No, no, no, no
Will you say yes?
No, no, no, no
Monoma: Hmm, how about...
Vlad King: What are you thinking Monoma
Monoma: Hey, is Class 1A better than Class 1B?
Yes, yes, yes, yes
Jr: And there's your answer, Class 1A is better than Class 1B
Monoma: I hate my life
Toga couldn't help but laugh at Monoma.
Now I ask in a nice way, I said pretty please, I bent their ears
Now I'll work on their knees! (Whacks their knees with two mallets and shuts Iron Maiden door on one inside it)
Everyone then got shocked to see a Jewish guy gets shut in the Iron Maiden.
[Dance Break]
Cartman then played drums with two Jewish guy's heads.
(Drum noise and laughing).
[Inquisitors]
Hey, Eric Cartman, walk this way
We got a little game that you might wanna play
So pull that handle, try your luck
[Inquisitor]
(spoken)
Who knows, Eric. You might win a buck!
[Cartman]
(spoken)
All right!
(Spins the wheel, get's three jews in a row like a slot machine)
[Cartman]
(spoken)
Put it in the car
[Inquisitor]
(whispered)
In the car
[Inquisitor]
(whispered)
In the car
[Cartman]
How we doing? Any converts today?
[Executioners]
Not a one! Nay, nay, nay!
[Cartman]
We've flattened their fingers
We've branded their buns
Nothing is working
(Claps hands).
Send in the nuns!
Dark Shadow: What are they gonna do
The nuns walk in, a giant block rises and the nuns partake in a swimming show, the jewish men go down a slide and are promptly drowned.
Jewish guy: (Underwater) OI
It ends with the nuns coming back up with lights on their head and it turns out to take the shape of a menorah.
Bakuhoe: WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN HAPPENING
[Cartman and Company]
The Inquisition, what a show
The Inquisition, here we go
We know you're wishin'
That we'd go away
So, c'mon you Moslems and you Jews
We got big news for all of yous
You better change your point of views today
Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay
The video ends.
Jr: And that's what the Spanish Inquisition is about, in parody form
Everyone was silent.
Della: I think that song broke them
Me: Why do I even bother saying things at the end of chapters
Jr: I don't know, you are doing it yourself