Hera
"Are you getting better now?" Alice asked through our phone call.
"I guess so, I'll just call you later" I ended our call with a deep sigh.
It's been two days and I still have this fever, walang sino man ang nasa tabi ko ngayon to accompany me since I didn't let Kyjie to see me the whole two days because I'm mad at him and I know the campus is busy right now for tonight's grand ball and obviously I cant go because of my conditions now.
My temperature didn't go down and my phone keep of ringing but I don't have the urge to answer it because it's just Kyjie, ayaw kong malaman niya ang kalagayan ko ngayon it will ruined his night and beside this event is important and he should enjoy himself instead of worrying about me.
Argh! This supposedly my first time to attend that grand ball and this damn fever is so pabida! Tsk, I sounded like Shai now!
I get up from my warm comfy bed, and with a heavy and high temperature body I walked like a zombie down to my kitchen area to drink some water. I crave a lot of foods now and I can't even buy. I sat down at the high chair and lean my elbow at the high dining table and slowly massaging my head.
"Why on earth I'm still sick?" I murmur while reaching for a glass of water. I am just wearing my oversized pink hoodie and a white pajama and my hair is pretty messy because of the uneven bun.
I walk through the living room and get the remote to watch a movie. It was just a random movie I watch on Netflix and my eyes were about to close and I keep on yawning. Hindi ko napansin ang oras at mag gagabi na, I haven't eating anything yet since breakfast and my stomach keep on asking for food but I don't have anything here, I only have cereals but it didn't satisfies my cravings now. I continue watching movies and this is my fifth movie already at natulogan ko yung ibang movie.
Sobrang init ng pakiramdam ko ngayon and my nose is still runny. I was about to turn off the tv when the door bell rang, hindi na ako nagulat kasi alam kong si Alice lang yan probably bought a soup for me, she did that the other day. I stand up lazily and walk towards the door, when I reach there I didn't bother to tiptoe to peek at the peephole. I twisted the knob...
"Alice bring some pizza next tim-" I cut off my own words and my jaw dropped. It wasn't Alice at all, it's my man wearing his suit and tie, hair were pushed back and his manly scent immediately hugged my nose. He's holding some paper bag for foods. Stood there and smiling.
"No pizza for sick baby" He grin at agad pumasok sa loob leaving me dumbfounded. "Come here, I bough you something tasty" He called out and he's obviously inside the kitchen already.
"Bakit ka nandito? What bring you here?" Anas ko at medyo ngungu pa yung boses ko dahil sa sipon. I cross my arms and still my body feels so heavy.
"I called you many times at ni isa hindi mo sinagot. I got worried so I texted kuya Llyod and Alice but only Alice replied me about your condition" Sunod sunod na sabi niya at agad akong napairap.
"You should enjoy yourself at the ball, not here!" I concluded and keep on throwing gazes on him.
"Paano ako mag eenjoy doon kung nandito ka? May sakit at walang nag-aalaga" He utter and lean at the table. It was a short silence until he step closer to me ang hug me tightly "Ang init mo, tapos itataboy mo lang ako" He said, almost whisper.
I can't deny the fact that his hug helps me to feel better now, he is so comfortable to cling with.
We both sat the couch and open the paper bags with foods inside. He bought bubble tea, nuggets, fries and some other finger foods. Gosh, this guy I thought it's all healthy foods for sick people.
"You should bought pizza! May pa 'no pizza for sick baby' ka pang nalalaman when these foods are no different to pizza!" I rolled my eyes and sip to my bubble tea.
"Wala lang akong ibang masabi sa pag pasok ko kanina" He chuckled and get a nuggets at sinubo saakin.
He talk a lot at kinwento niya saaken kung paano siya umalis sa ball when he found out about my condition, kinwento niya din saaken ang sobrang pag-aalala niya sa mga hindi ko pag sagot sa mga tawag niya and I laugh at that.
"Wait here, may kukunin lang ako sa labas" He said out of nowhere and he's confusing me. I just nod at sinundan siya sa mga tingin ko.
I didn't bothered to look after him, nagpatuloy lang ako sa pagkain while keep on trying to stop my runny nose. Napansin kong nasa tabi ko na siya, hindi ko lang siya pinansin at inabot ko ang isang caramel kettle corn.
"Ain't never felt this way" Halos mabitawan ko ang isang paper bag na kettle corn when he suddenly sang and strum a guitar. When I look at him, he smiled at me and continue strumming the guitar. "Can't get enough so stay with me" He continue singing. Every verse he sang sends a beautiful rhythm to my heart and his beautiful voice was heavenly and filled with serenity. He continue singing and my heart thumping so fast and any time lalabas na siya sa ribcage ko. Every beat of my heart own the voice of its owner.
"...and you need to know that you keep me up all night, all night" There was a paused but his finger remain on the strings and I met his eyes filled with love and adoration "Oh, my heart hurt so good, I love you babe so bad, so bad" He ended the song together with the strumming of his finger.
I wasn't able to utter a word now, I was quiet dumbfounded and only I can see now is his face with the most beautiful smile. I don't know if I'm out of my mind or whatsoever but I see some glittering effect in his smile.
"Did you like it?" From a long silence between us, I was back to my sense when his soft voice reach my ear.
"U-uhm" I couldn't talk, I can't express what I feel because his voice keep on playing inside my head that linger into my heart.
He didn't talk back, but I heard an intro of a song that played from his phone. Nilingon ko siya, tumayo siya sa harapan ko at ngumiti habang nakatingin sa mga mata kong walang ideya sa mga ginagawa niya ngayong gabi.
"May I? My love." Inilahad niya ang kamay niya sa harap ko, asking me to hold it, I didn't hesistate to hold his hand and he slowly pull me to stand up, I was still feel sick but his hold cure me. I was caught on his arm, holding me like his precious tressure that no one could ever lay a hand. It was gentle and full of assurance.
"Love" I utter as he replace his hand on my waist and replace mine around his neck.
He kiss my forehead "Follow my rhythm love" He said softly and he slowly move his body together with mine. We we're dancing with the rhythm of the romantic song he played.
I suddenly feel so emotional and I can't help but to drop a tears and hug him. I place my head on his well-worked chest and I was sobbing like a little girl and she slowly brushing his hand on my head. I never felt this before, it's feel heartstrings and this is so wholesome. My heart never feel so full like this before.
"Mas gugustohin kong isayaw ka dito sa tahimik at medyo madilim na lugar kaysa doon sa mailaw at eleganteng lugar at hawak ang ibang babae" He said while keep on brushing my hair slowly while we're still dancing. I just sob in answer and buried my face on his chest.
In the middle of my living room with dim light, I was only wearing an oversized hoodie and a pajama and a slipper and he was wearing a formal attire still he chose to dance with me tonight over a ladies with a cinderella's attire. This is my man, and he see me as the most beautiful girl in this planet.
We ended up on each other's arm, nakahiga kami ngayon sa isang sofa-bed na hinarap namin sa balcony ng kwarto ko. The night was quiet and the moon shone brightly for us tonight, I'm not sick anymore and I was cured by his presence tonight and the efforts he made. I'm so in love with him, too in love that I declared an emergency landing from the sky above down on the land and I can't get up anymore, I was too drowned by his love already.
Days went off, Kyjie stayed with me for some reason, hindi na muna daw siya titira sa unit niya at gusto niya muna akong makasama ngayon. It was a good idea because being with him is a good thing, I was free from everything and all I can thought about is us the moment and love we shared together. We're like a married couple now living under the roof.
"This school year is about to end, and by next year it will be our last" Kyjie uttered as he change the gear. Kakatapos lang ng acads nila ngayon about sa pilot thingy at dumiretso siya sa room namin para ihatid na ako sa agency ko para sa shoot.
It was furious because I thought bukas pa sisimulan ang shoot but our manager suddenly change the schedule so I didn't attend our next class, it was acads and I'm sure they will talk about the geography.
"Yeah, and when we finish the whole year we can step closer to the door of our dream career" I answered him.
"Your F.A training will start soon" He added and glanced at me.
Thinking about that, I decided to take a break in modeling when my training start already. I need to focus on my training more when time comes.
Naihatid na ako ni Kyjie sa building at agad akong sinalubong ni Alice. Kyjie kissed me before bid our goodbyes to each other.
"Jax's already here" Ani Alice holding an iPad reading some news.
"I don't care"
"You should, your shoot is today" Suway ni Alice and she turn-off the iPad to look at me. "Ilang araw ka ding' nakapahinga so expect some flooding bookings now" I suddenly stop walking from what Alice said.
Another bookings are making me sick now, I can't take another stressful days now! I want to focus on one thing now, I want to give myself more time now, I want a break. I know I've been dreaming about this since then, this is my passion in life and cameras are my companion but my self ain't robot to take all the of this, I'm still a student and I'm still reaching for my goal and that goal connect my heart to my late beloved mother in heaven.
"Is everyone in the conference hall are there already?" I ask without any expressions visible on my face.
"Exactly so walk faster now" Alice commanded and I walk towards the elevator, hearing the steps of my pumps that hit the floor and echoed the whole place.
"Ms. Villones is here already so let's start the meeting-" I cut my manger's words
"Good day to all, I don't want to ruin your mood today but I don't want to proceed in the contract" I uttered without hesitant and I was so sure about my decision.
This time, I will chose myself, and choosing my self means taking the path that connect me to my late beloved mother. This career is just temporary and I can live without this, beside if there's an open door for this in the future anytime I can step inside and build a new beginning. On the other hand, I can spare a lot of time with Kyjie and plan for our wedding in the future. Everything was sure with him, I can be truly happy in any thing and there's an assurance for me.
"You must just be tired Hera, aren't you?" It was Jax, stood up and walk towards my direction with sweats filled his annoying face.
"What do you mean about this Hesthea?" Our manger knotted her forehead and purse her lips.
I cleared my throat and eyed every one of them "I won't proceed to this project. Hindi ko pa naman na permahan yung kontrata nito so less hassle about sa paper works" I cross my arm and bit my lower lip "Come on, don't stress yourselves about this besides there's an empty slot for other models in our agency, bakit hindi nalang sila?"
"Hesthea Raeleigh! Get a grip, this is an important project for us to earn more good feedback on other agencies abroad and the agency of this international clothing line is personally requested you to model their clothes" She almost gritted her teeth and her jaw move aggressively for anger within her.
"I'm sorry but my decision is final-" she cut me off.
"We will terminate your contract here!" She exclaimed and pressed every words she said and except me everyone dropped their jaw and started the useless gossip.
"Hera, are you out of your mind?!" Si Alice, pabulong niyang sabi but it was filled with anger and annoyance.
"Yes Alice, I'm out of my mind" I give her an assuring smile and eyeing everyone again inside the hall. "That would be nice to terminate every connection I have in this agency, less hassle and thank you for the short period of time of working with you. I gotta go and treat myself today" I gave them my most sweetest smile before turning my back at them.
Papalayo na ako sa conference hall but some random person calling my name and even Jax but I didn't pay attention at all. They maybe saying this right now that it's my loss, well I don't care because for the first time in my life I've never been this happy and free, I just chose myself from everything.
Working your deep desire isn't bad, but prioritizing yourself first from everything is one of the greatest achievement you just gained for yourself. Ask yourself first before taking that path because maybe in the future you'll get rid of it and ended up you didn't give yourself enough time to enjoy more opportunity for you.
"I'll take the black forest gateau" Anas ko sa babaeng nasa counter. Umorder ako ng cake for a mini celebration para sa nagawa ko ngayong araw and I was planing to surprise Kyjie on his condo and I want to celebrate this milestone with him.
Me:
Love I'm on way to your condo. We'll celebrate something today. Yie, see you!
I was smiling from ear to ear while sending that message to him. I was humming while driving and tap my fingers on the steering wheel. Im just happy and I don't want someone to ruin this day for me, I just freed myself into something that given me hardship. I know, modeling is one of my passion in life but grass isn't green on the other side like what people used to know, on the other hand modeling is just part of the excitement in my life and it broughy joy to me and at the end of the day I just found myself closing that door, maybe in the future I will open it again for good.
"Narinig mo ba yung balita tungkol doon sa model na si Hera?" I was bit startled when hearing my name at kung saan tungkol ang pinag uusapan ng dalawang babae na katabi ko ngayon sa elevator. They didn't recognized me because I'm wearing a black cap and a designer shade.
"Oo, uhm may nabasa akong article kanina lang at bagong publish yun. Uhm, ano daw tinanggal daw siya doon sa agency niya dito sa pilipinas dahil sa kanyang hindi pag sunod sa rules ng agency niya" Anas nung' isang babae.
"Siguro dahil doon sa balitang engage na siya sa isang Fierro, yung mayayamang pamilya. Hay nako, basta pera talaga tatalikoran ang lahat" My brows furrowed when hearing the lady's words, it gotten into me and she's ridiculous for saying that.
"Sikat na sana, nasilaw pa sa pera" Natatawang sabi nung babaeng kasamahan niya.
I couldn't take this anymore, they're below the belt already. They should've shut their mouth if it's not their problems to fix and life to live.
I cleared my throat and remove my cap and face them with my dark aura but with my sweet smile "I wonder on how much money you make when it comes to talking shit about other people's lives? Hmm, was it too much?" I rose my brows and eyeing the both of them.
"If it's that plenty, magpatingin kayo sa doktor at baka kinakalawang na yang utak niyo and uhm, include your mouth stitch them and if the payment are expensive I can lean you a money" Saktong natapos ang mga sinabi ko ay bumukas ang elevator at nasa floor na ako sa unit ni Kyjie.
I left them dumbfounded and they can't even close their mouth kasi gulat na gulat sila sa presensya ko. They're too much! I maybe acted tough earlier at the front of them but I can't deny the fact that it pain me. Kada nalang nababangit ang mga apelyido namin, pera kaagad ang pumapasok sa utak nila, they didn't even know the reason behind all of this and about that news about me that's absurd! Why would that fucking agency spread false rumors, they should play fair because I am.
Hays, my mood suddenly ruined with that nonsense things! I just can't wait to see Kyjie now, maybe he'll bring back my mood earlier.
Nasa harap na ako sa unit niya, I didn't bothered to call him kasi iniwan ko naman sa kotse ko ang phone ko and beside pwede naman akong pumasok dito anytime at alam ko ang password ng unit niya.
I enter the password and just a second after bumukas ang pinto at agad akong pumasok sa loob. Smiling now and holding the box of cake that I bought.
"Love? I'm here" Tawag ko mula sa kitchen area niya at nilabas sa box ang cake. Walang sumagot at pinagpatuloy ko lang ang pag aarrange sa cake at nilagay ko na ang maliit na kandila at sinidihan.
I'm holding the cake with both of my hand, the candle is already lighted and I am now walking towards his room, I didn't mind the staircase because I'm all excited now to announce what I just achieved today. Nasa harap na ako sa kwarto niya, I manage to hold the cake with my left hand para buksan ang pintoan but before I could the knob suddenly twisted a sign that someone's inside. Bahagya akong napangiti, knowing his here we can celebrate together.
"Love, I made-" I cut off my own words when the door opened, but I wasn't expected what I just saw. I thought it was Kyjie, but I my chest suddenly pain when I saw a girl wearing my man's oversized hoodie, opened the door.
My body suddenly feel so weak to the point that I dropped the cake. Nagkatinginan lang kami ng babae, I was emotionless outside and she was startled. I've seen her before, she's the pale girl I saw on DVU. Anong ginagawa niya dito? Bakit suot niya ang hoodie ni Kyjie? Bakit nasa loob siya ng kwarto ni Kyjie? Questions floods my mind as well as negative thought about this situation. I trusted Kyjie, he shouldn't do things that will ruin our relationship.
"W-wala si Kyjie dito-" I cut her off.
"Who are you?! What are you doing here?!" My voice were calmn but beneath of it is my shaking nerve and any time I will lash out.
"I'm sorry"- This time, someone cut her off that will surely answer all the questions I have right now.
"Hera" It was Kyjie with his nervous voice, I looked at him and with a sudden tear fell from my eyes. "It's not what you think, please let me explain" He said, step closer to me but I step back to avoid his holds.
"Kyj, I didn't mean-" Kyjie cut her words again.
"Ivy, not now please" My eyes widened with tears when I heard the girl's name. It was his ex's name, the way he called his ex name shot a bullet into my heart. Bakit nandito ang ex niya? Bakit hindi ko alam ito? Akala ko ba hindi na siya babalik sa ex niya pero bakit nangyari ito?
"Love, please hear me" Kyjie's voice getting softer as he spoke to me. "Please, mali ang iniisip mo" Lumapit siya saaken at hinakawa ang magkabilang braso ko while my tears keep on falling.
"Explain? For what?" I uttered "Pumunta ako dito to surprise you because I just did something for myself and as well as for us, but I'm the one who get surprised" I was chuckling while saying those hurtful words from my mouth.
"No baby, please just hear me okay?" He begged and pull me closer to hug me but I push him away.
"No, stay away from me! I trusted you Kyjie! I gave all of you because I was so sure about you!" My tears didn't take it anymore kaya bahagya na akong napahagulgol. I don't know, I just don't want to hear a words from him because I'm scared. "This is too much" I dry my tears before walking out.
Sinundan niya ako at hinila kaagad ang palapulsuhan ko pero agad ko itong binawa.
"Please, stay away! I just can't take this anymore, hindi ko pa alam ang gagawin ko. Hayaan mo muna ako" I said, almost beg because I know he won't listen but when he met my eyes I know he see how pain I am right now. Tumalikod na ako at lumabas sa unit niya.
20 misses calls and 15 text from Kyjie.
Kyjie:
Love I'm not home. Please don't go there.
Kyjie:
Love, I'll fetch you nasaan ka?
Kyjie:
Love, reply asap, I'll fetch you now just don't go at my unit
My tears blurred my vision and I cant drive well now. Hindi ko inaasahang dadating kami sa ganitong sitwasyon, all I thought is the happy moments with him on how we shared our love together on how we both look on each other's eyes that filled with love and adoration but all of the sudden, a things like this came up without my notice. Ang sakit lang, napaka sakit.
Gusto kong pakinggan siya, pero sa lahat ng nakita ko ay hindi na kailangan ng eksplenasyon. His ex is inside his room wearing his hoodie...
"Mommy, it's hurt" I'm crying so hard at the front of my mother's grave.
For a long time, ngayong lang ako nakabalik dito at nabisita si mommy. Sobrang nasaktan lang ako sa araw na ito at wala akong ibang mapuntahan. My mommy is always there to take away my pain so here I am now crying like a madwoman.
"Mommy please..."
I sat on the grass where my mommy lie, and the dark clouds were crying like it did for me and I was all wet. The sky is here to comfort me like how my mother comforted me.