𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐞
chapter twenty-seven;
satan or santa
"We are dangerous, both of us."
Lacey Ariane Black
I GLANCE AT THE WORDS ON MY SKIN, the memories flowing back in my head. Tears fall on my cheeks as I lean my head on my knees.
"Join us, Lacey!" "No!" I burst only to arch my back in pain right after as he starts torturing me again. Cries leave my mouth, the pain taking over.
"Hey Black, mom asked if you could help her in the kitchen!" Fred appears with his girlfriend out of nowhere and I can't help but flinch. "Ah, the little girl is scared." Angelina mocks me, making me turn around. I bite my lip while getting up, feeling their gaze on the words on my arm. I push the girl out of my way, walking back to the burrow. "What the fuck-" Fred mumbles surprised and he immediately goes after me. Angelina right behind him and I lower my sleeves again.
"Lacey! Lacey wait!" I turn around on my heels, standing in the middle of the burrow. "Stay the fuck away from me, Fred!" "But I- how-" he weakly points at my arms. The rest of the family joined us too all staring at me. "What? I have been here for what? 3 days and you can't find the respect to talk to me, but when you realise not everyone was safe and sound behind a secret radio station, you suddenly care?!" I shout at him, feeling how I lose myself.
When he doesn't say anything I scoff. "God, you really think this is still just about Potter?! That the Dark Lord only wants to kill him? It's not about him anymore, it's about me!" "Lacey, please calm down. This doesn't help anyone." Tonks carefully lays her hand on my shoulder, however, I shake it off. "Don't touch me-" my voice breaks, before focusing on the boy again.
"We are all in hiding, Black. None of us are fine." Angelina says carefully as if she finally realises what a bitch she was. I hold my neck tightly tears rolling over my cheeks. "Shut up, you really need to shut up."
"Show me your arms, Lacey," Fred whispers discreetly. "You are so selfish! You have no idea what I have been going through, what I had to deal with!" "Lacey-" It's the older Weasley brother. "It's okay." "It's not okay, I am not okay, I had the worst week of my life and I just need my mom." I am falling apart and no one dares to come close, realising I don't want to be touched. "I can't get those stupid memories out of my head, the images of the knife touching my skin-" Tears fall on my clothes. "Hogwarts isn't safe anymore, it's not." I put my hand against my mouth trying to stop the crying.
"She right! You two are not going back to Hogwarts!" Molly states firmly. "No... I- I need to go. He will come back. He will appear there again and I can't- I need to go back, Molly. Keep your daughter at home, but I can't-" Silence and I feel how I take the control back. "What do you mean with he will come back?" Charlie asks confused.
"He came to Hogwarts-" my voice trembles and I close my eyes reliving the moment. "He said he can't rule the wizarding world without me by his side... I spend hours in that office, Charlie... Hours of torture, all alone with the Dark Lord... So yea, you all may be in hiding, but it's nothing compared to what I have been through."
They all stare at me. Minutes go by, my tears dried on my cheeks. I turn to my ex-boyfriend. "I am sorry, Fred." "Why are you saying sorry?" "For snapping at you, I guess-" my hands find my underarm surrounded by fabrics of my sweater. "I know you saw... And you have to understand that I can't just show everyone the words he carved there with a knife. Do you know what it says? For the rest of my life when I stare at my arms I will see my biggest insecurities." I slowly roll up my sleeves.
"My biggest fears-"
Both of my arms are in sight now. "Pomfrey could heal it, but I said no. Mattheo is killing himself for what happened to me like it is his fault. But it isn't, it's my fault." "Why are you beating yourself up, it probably is his fault," Fred says carefully and I know he says what everyone is thinking.
"You are so blind, Fred."
I sigh looking him in the eyes. "We are dangerous, both of us." "What do you mean?" George says confused. "Do you remember the wedding?" I turn to Bill and Fleur. "So apparently they did get in because of him, however, he didn't know they used him...-" My gaze goes to Molly. "He would do anything when my life is at stake, including joining them." "You let him go to my brother's wedding, knowing he joined them?!" "And it's the same the other way around, if they threaten him in any way, I would be on my knees. If they use him, it's over." I continue ignoring the boy.
"You are wrong, you are not dangerous, he is." George starts carefully. "That's not what I mean. We are dangerous-" "called it," Ginny chuckles lightening the mood. "I must say I doubted for a moment when you and Charlie happened over the summer, but-" "Ginny!" I burst while glancing at her.
"Charlie? You slept with Charlie?" Bill questions loudly, while Fleur giggles quietly. "Dude, she's 17-" he now focuses on his brother. "And your brother's ex!" George attacks the boy. "Oh it isn't a secret, I walked in on them." "Not one of my brightest moments," I say casually brushing my hand through my hair.
"This whole conversation is more than my pregnant body can handle, an emotional rollercoaster."
Tonks says wearily as she sits down holding her belly. "She's right, maybe we should just go and eat," I state carefully. "She slept with two of my sons-" Molly mutters shaking her head before getting back into the kitchen. "Did I break her?" I look at the door where the woman disappeared. "Maybe, I can't say for sure."
Everyone just continues doing their own thing and Ginny and I sit down with some of the others. "So you and Riddle finally happened?" Charlie chuckles as he sits down on a sofa. "Oh it did, didn't you go to Pomfrey after the quidditch match only to find out your cervix was bruised?" "Ginny! I told you that because I trust you!" "Oops!"
~
I look back one last time, my eyes meeting Charlie's. I put my finger against my lips before leaving the ring of protection, making sure no one can find the house.
"Took you long enough," A low voice chuckles while stepping closer wrapping his arms around me. "How was your Christmas?" "I felt like Satan took it over for Santa," I whine glancing at him. His hands find my arms, pushing up the sleeves.
"How are you feeling?"
"Theo, I am going to tell you one last time, this isn't your fault...- Look at me, damn it!" I spat forcing his face to mine. "But it is!" "Oh fuck you, Riddle. If you are going to play the victim here, I am done." I turn away starting to walk away. "You are seriously mad, that I care about you?!" "You shouldn't care about me! Let me be one of your hoes! Treat me like trash! Do something!" "Why the fuck would I do that?!" "Because I need a reason not to love you!"
I yell at him exposing everything I shouldn't. I pant staring at him, not knowing how to fix this. "I- Theo- I-" His lips stop my stutters, his hands finding my face, moving his thumb over my cheeks as his mouth moves over mine.
When he backs away I stare into his eyes, immediately noticing the difference. "You really like that, don't you little slut?" My breath stops, his eyes are cold. I am frozen in place. "I need to go, you should too." He continues without emotion. I stumble backwards, holding back the tears as I turn my back and step into the circle again before dropping on my knees, tears falling down.
Mattheo Marvolo Riddle
THE FORCEFIELD MOVES AS SHE STEPS THROUGH IT. I only stare at the place she just disappears, feeling frustrated. "Fuck!" I burst, my fist hitting the tree next to me hard. I hold it for a moment trying to lose every feeling I have, to get back to my normal cold self. The tears roll over my cheeks before falling on the dirt. Showing emotions. That's new.
I am happy I can't see her anymore, seeing her break would kill me. My left arms start burning and I know my dad wants me back. I glance at the wheat field in front of me before apparating back to Manor Malfoy.
"You are late, son." His cold voice echoes over the entire hallway when I step inside. "Clearly-" I state without giving him a glance. "Don't speak to me like that!" The torturing curse hits my side making me fall to the ground. I feel so angry and it's growing as I scream my lungs out. "Don't think for one moment, you have the right to talk to me like that, you are in my house, am I clear?" I pant while rolling over. "Yes, Mr Malfoy."
"That's what I thought. Get cleaned up, we already started." I make my way upstairs when I see how Draco steps out of his room. "Oh you are home again, how was it?" "Just go downstairs, Draco." He stops walking to glance at me. "What happened?" "Leave me the fuck alone." I spat as I walk to my bedroom. The boy only stares at me, before leaving the floor. Inside my room, I undress and get into the shower. I fucked up big time. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have called her a slut. Merlin, I am a fucking idiot!
My entire act falls over the edge as I lean against the wall, water dripping from my body on the ground. The pain is too much. I don't get why this is happening to me, why I am feeling so much. I am supposed to be Mattheo Riddle, the boy who doesn't care.
However, somehow I care about her. When I am with her, I am not Mattheo Riddle. I am just Mattheo. She is my way of escaping my dad. I wish he was dead. Even though somewhere inside of me, I still hope he does love me, I also want Potter to finish him. That's the only way everything will be alright.
I wash my hair trying to get her scent out of my body. However it doesn't help, it's like her body scent is branded into my memory.
When I am finished I get back downstairs, where I find a total mess. Hermione is on the ground screaming, while Bellatrix is carving words into her arm. I spot Draco behind a pillar trying everything in his power not to stop her. Tears pool in his eyes and I don't think I have ever seen the Malfoy son so vulnerable. "Where did you find this?! What else did you steal!"
"We didn't steal anything-"
She pants before screaming again. I do not move, not knowing what else to do. "Make yourself useful, Riddle," Bellatrix states when she notices my presence. "No." I can't hurt her more and when I help them, she will never forgive me. "Lucius?" She only says and the next thing I know a knife moves over my cheek. I hold in a groan. "You do what you're told, because we wouldn't want her to die, right?"
I hold in my breath. Lacey... "So weak-" he chuckles, spinning the knife in his hand. "You are a disappointment, Riddle." She's right... We are dangerous, more than others think.