𝖭𝗈𝗍𝖾: 𝖬𝗂𝗅𝖽 𝖼𝗎𝗋𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀.
┏━━━━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━━━━┓
"It's the bonding we
always failed to
explain."
┗━━━━°⌜ 赤い糸 ⌟°━━━━┛
~Flashback~
Third Person POV
Sam stirred in his sleep. Something made him terribly uneasy. He could hear Norman's soft snores and Ray's shallow breaths. He let the back of his arm rest on his forehead as he shut my eyes. He recalled all that had happened recently. It was jaw-dropping to him, not to mention. Things were moving at such a fast pace, it was scary. His brain decided to finally shut down, allowing him some sleep.
Bang!
Emma wiggled further into her blanket, her eyebrows creasing together as she thought. That sounded like... a gunshot? I must be hearing things. Too many battles. That must be the reason. I... I just want some good sleep right now... We have to get back to work tomorrow...
The Lambda group was sound asleep due to the sedative medications that they had ingested before falling asleep.
On the other hand, Sam's eyes immediately opened as his stomach formed into a knot.
What was that? What the hell was that? The sound from before kept replaying in his ears, he finally realised it was a gun shot. A gun shot? In the middle of the night? What on earth is happening?
Before he could register anything else a blood-curdling scream boomed making him jolt in his bed. It was such a familiar voice. It was the voice he had grown to love so much. Y/n. His heart stopped and his breathing wasn't anywhere near stable.
Ray had woken up by the sound too. He glanced at the other boy in confusion and horror. Sam wasted no time and slipped out of bed while whisper yelling to him,
"Stay back for now! Don't come until I ask you too!"
With that he ran out of the room like his life depended on it. I don't think it would be a good idea to let Ray near right now. She once had a breakdown because of whatever that had happened between them in the past.
I think it is one of her anxiety attacks, but why the hell would there be a gunshot!?
He sprinted to Y/n's door, which was not very far from the one he was residing in. Ray followed after him hastily, worry filling him. He knew for a fact it was Y/n. But he had no idea what it was about. Since Sam looked like he could handle the situation, he let him be and decided to debate on the different possibilities. He was insanely panicked. He had never heard Y/n scream in horror like that. And that had him down, bad.
Sam slammed open the girl's door and the first thing he noticed was a bullet lying on the floor and on the left wall was a dent. What the... actual hell?
He then noticed Y/n on the floor wailing as she held a pistol pointed towards her head. His legs moved before he could even realise what was happening.
"Y/N!" his voice desperately yelled out as he slapped the gun out of her hand. He stared at her gasping state in pure horror. What... what could possibly have provoked her to take... to take... this step? He then registered that her whole room was a mess and her body was covered with bruises and scratches. He was left shocked at the scene that laid in front of his eyes.
He quickly, yet gently wrapped his arms around her vulnerable figure. Her sobs and hiccups broke his heart. Seeing her like this broke him completely. He was quick to connect the dots. From all the disastrous events she had been through, she ended up having hallucinations. She had hallunications quite a few times but never had it gotten so worse. Her anxiety wasn't any better either. He believed that due to her anxiety she had gotten hallucinations.
I knew I shouldn't have let her sleep alone after everything that happened!
He mentally cursed himself for being so irresponsible but snapped out of it when he realised that the girl had to be patched up.
While, Ray stood there, peering through the gap. He was terrified at the state the girl was in. He wondered to himself, how could I strike up arguments with her when she was suffering... so terribly? Guilt was gnawing him up alive. He was frozen in spot from what he had witnessed. He refused to believe that she was suffering till such an extent that she ended up hurting herself. And all this time, he was nowhere to be found.
Her whimpers began to haunt him. He was devastated. Disappointed in himself, even.
Sam looked through the door gap and whiper yelled to Ray,
"Get the first-aid kit!"
Ray nodded vigorously and speeded out instantly.
With a shaky breath, Sam scooped the shaking girl up as he whispered reassuring things to her,
"It's ok, Y/n. It's ok, it's all ok. I am here. It wasn't your fault. You haven't done anything wrong."
Between her between, Y/n was able to mutter two words,
"Don't leave."
Sam's chest tightened on hearing her words,
"I won't. I would never."
He carefully set her frame on the bed, still holding her closely, he rubbed her head.
Ray tossed the first-aid kit to him in no time. He whispered from the door,
"Let me do it?"
Sam simply held up his hand to him as a signal to wait. Ray furrowed his brows and sighed. Nonetheless, he leaned against the wall and waited patiently for the brunette boy to come out and inform him of the situation.
The purple-eyed boy tended to her wounds cautiously. During the process, Y/n's breath evened out, signifying that she had entered slumber. Sam looked at her wearing a painful expression.
He hated how the best people had to suffer the worst fates. He wondered what she had done to deserve such terrible consequences.
He knew her well enough to read her like a book, even so, he couldn't comprehend just how much devastated she was. Yes, he knew she was hurting but he got fooled by the strong self she put on display. Just because her smiles and laughs were oh so contagious to him.
On the other hand, Ray continued to peer through the door gap.
How he wanted to be the one taking care of her, holding her, embracing her and showering her with affection.
But he had no right to do so. For, when she needed him, he was never there.
He wanted to clear everything that was between them and close the gap, once and for all. He mentally noted to himself that the next day, or rather the same day itself, when she wakes up, he would sort things out with her.
Sam quietly got up and covered her body with a blanket, he sighed while doing so. He looked around the room which was a terrible mess. One of the chair's leg was broken, the supplies that she kept on her desk were sprawled across the floor. The floor being stained itself.
He walked out of the room and turned to Ray. When Ray saw him, he immediately straightened his posture and looked at him eagerly.
Sam sighed stressfully and explained started,
"Look, I really have no right to say this since it's about Y/n's personal life and she obviously didn't give me the consent to speak to anyone about it."
He ran a finger through his hair,
"But... You did help me so er- I guess I'll give you as much as I feel right."
He took a short pause before continuing,
"She had a nightmare, after which she got hallucinations. The hallucinations were probably triggered from her anxiety that she had when she woke up from her nightmare. She ended up using her gun, which explains the sound we heard and she got injured as you already know. That sums it up, I guess."
Ray gulped, unable to muster a single word. Sam walked towards the storage room, perking up Ray's curiosity.
He came back with cleaning supplies and turned to Ray,
"I am going to clean her room up. You can go to sleep."
The ravenette looked at him unsurely,
"Uh do you need help?"
He shook his head,
"No, I'll be fine. Good night."
Ray nodded hesitantly and made his way back to his room. He slipped into his bedsheets which were cold by then. He closed his eyes, trying to get some sleep and not overthink till the extent that his brain starts hurting. Not like he was getting even a tad bit of sleep after what happened.
Sam made sure he cleaned up the room as quitely as possible. After about half an hour, he completed his task. He sat on Y/n's bed as he gazed at the sleeping girl.
His eyes immediately softened at the sight of her body rising and falling in a tranquil manner. Her delicate features never failed to mesmerise him. From her silky hair that were messier than usual, to her long black lashes that pressed against her cheeks. Her plump coral lips. And her skin complexion that complimented all her other features perfectly.
Pretty similar to how Y/n admired Ray. She loved everything about Ray and Sam loved everything about her.
He interlaced his fingers together as he averted his eyes to his hands, deep in thought. I wish... I wish I could make you happier. I wish you could stay longer. I wish I could make you mine.
He looked back at her vulnerable state and shook his head in a dismaying manner,
No, Sam. This isn't the time to think about such things. At least not till we make it to the human world. And that too if I am able to protect her. No. I will protect her. And I will keep her happy.
He smiled tenderly as he brushed out a few hair strands out of her face that was blocking his view.
I promise I will keep you happy, no matter what.
~End Of Flashback~
Her face scrunched as she felt some light on her face. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and the first thing she did was reach her arm out to the other side of my bed. A pit formed into her stomach when she couldn't feel anything after moving her hands around the soft surface of the bed.
She lay on her back as a sigh escaped her lips. Slowly all the recent events came back to her.
So it was another one of my hallucinations, huh? Pathetic. So pathetic.
She took a deep breath as she gazed out of the window through which sunlight penetrated the room. The sky was now fully clear with blue, fluffy looking clouds and a blazing sun.
She proceeded to look around her room and realised that the room was cleaned up and the things that didn't shatter were back in their places.
Sam probably did this.
A part of her wished that he was still there with her. She was a bit dishertened knowing he didn't stay. She had a hard time recognising people when she went through her anxiety attacks and Sam was the only one who could cope with her troubles. She couldn't help but wonder why he did so much for her.
She shifted in her bed as she rested on her right side. Her eyes widened almost instantly.
Sam was sleeping on the floor with his head resting on a pillow and a bedsheet covering a small part of his body. His light snoring was audible to her ears. His brown hair was tousled and covered his forehead.
Why would he...?
Why is he sleeping here?
Could it be...?
I... I don't even know how to express my gratitude...
The fact that Sam had slept in her room, and that too on the floor so that in case something happens, he will be there, astonished the girl. Also, the fact that he respected her personal space and did not decided to sleep in the same bed as her, melted her heart.
She smiled to herself. She didn't know just how much she owed him. She didn't even have to ask, and he would be there. She remembered how much he grew and couldn't help but be proud of him. That day, she knew that he was added to her 'special people's list'.
She slowly reached her hand out to play with his hair. Stirring the boy awake, he shifted, startling Y/n. He grunted, not very happy about being woken up. His eyes then flicked to her startled face and in a flash he had pulled her in an embrace without a second thought.
"S-Sam...?" she called out in a low voice.
His morning voice spoke,
"Thank God, you're fine."
She let out a chuckle and patted his back,
"I'm fine."
He pulled away from the hug and hesitantly asked her,
"Do you want to talk about it?"
She nodded,
"Uh well, I had a nightmare... My father's voice had guided me..."
Sam's breath hitched upon hearing her words but tried to keep his composure.
She continued,
"He guided me to the basement where we chained the demon... And it was... dead."
She took a deep breath and looked down,
"And uh after that I woke up. I realised that I was having an anxiety attack so I tried to get my anxiety pills but then I saw... Peter Ratri."
He slightly clenched his fists,
"Peter Ratri...?"
The girl teared up a bit and croaked,
"Mhm. He was threatening to kill me, so I shot him. I-I couldn't accept that I'd shot him, so I- uh-"
He placed his hand on her head,
"It's alright, Y/n. It was just a hallucination. Nothing more. Don't think about it too much," he pointed to a glass jar on her desk,
"oh, and I restocked your anxiety pills."
She muttered,
"Sam?"
He gave her his attention by turning to her,
"Hm?"
A small smile adorned her features,
"Thank you so much. Really, I mean it."
His mouth went agape for a moment but quickly curved up in a smile,
"It's no worries."
"But," he placed his hand on her head again.
"Just because you have nightmares and hallucinations, doesn't mean that you are weak. It's a sign of how strong you are on your own."
He stuffed his hands into his pockets as his eyes met with hers again,
"Y'know you still have me."
She pursed her lips and nodded. She didn't want Sam to get attached to her. If he did, when he will have to let go, it would hurt too much. And Y/n didn't like the idea of that.
Sam was well aware of this. But again, he wanted her to be happy for as long as she could. And for that he was sure, he would do anything.
"Don't you think we should give one day off to everyone?" she asked all of a sudden.
He raised a brow,
"Maybe? I think we could do that."
She nodded,
"Alright. Then can you please inform everyone that today they can take rest?"
"Sure," he left the room with long strides.
~Time Skip~
The others were glad they could take a day off for some much needed rest and made the most out of it. Once again, Y/n was noting things down in her journal. Abruptly, there was a knock on her door. Her writing haulted as she faced the door,
"Who's it?" There was a pause before a familiar voice spoke,
"Ray." Her heart skipped a beat instantly. What could he possibly need?
She cleared her throat,
"Your business?"
He exhaled,
"I want to talk."
She furrowed her brows,
"Talk about what?"
There was a long pause before he finally spoke,
"Talk about us."
She grit her teeth,
"There's nothing left to talk about."
He sighed but didn't back down. He spoke in a soft voice,
"There is, Y/n. Please, just open the door. We need to talk. Please."
Ray felt like his heart was about to beat right out of his chest. He was nervous. He didn't know how Y/n would react. Would she shut him away and never talk to him again? Would she refuse to get on better terms? He was beyond anxious.
She gulped thickly and headed towards the door. The click of the door sounded when she opened the door. Coming face with face with each other, their breaths hitched.
It had been long since they had just stared at each other in utter silence.
Ever since they had reunited, most of their conversations broke into bickering and arguments.
Ray pursed his lips, feeling the awkwardness linger in the air, he averted his eyes, pretending to scan her room, he asked,
"Uh can I come inside?"
She sighed before stepping out of the way,
"Mhm."
Once he entered, she shut the door close. He sat on her bed, rather cautiously. Her faint smell filling his nose, reminding him of how more strong it used to be once. He looked at his lap and twiddled with his fingers.
Y/n seated herself on the chair, waiting for Ray to speak.
His olive eyes met with hers sternly,
"I'm sorry."
Ray sweared, that for an instant he saw her eyes widen. But she had quickly blanketed it without fail,
"Care to elaborate?"
He tore his gaze away from her,
"I'm sorry for all the times I argued with you. I shouldn't have."
"Cut to the chase, Ray," her demanding sent chills down his spine.
An exasperated sigh left his lips as he turned back to his lap,
"Look, I know I have done several things I shouldn't have and I didn't do things when I should have. So I am sorry for that," he looked at her expectantly, "Will you forgive me? I want to be on better terms with you again. Like how we used to be..."
She replied bluntly without even missing a single beat,
"No."
Her straightforward answer caught him off guard,
"H-Huh? Why not?"
Her index finger and thumb glided through her clothes as she looked away,
"You'll know one day."
He was pissed. Hearing the same thing for the twentieth time didn't do him any good. Trying to contain his nerves, he mocked,
"What's with 'you'll know one day' bullshit? I am tired of hearing it."
Hesitantly her eyes met with his, if they showed anything, it was definitely sincerity. She softly spoke,
"Believe me, Ray. I am not asking you to trust me," she let out a dry chuckle, "You never trusted me to begin with. But I promise you, it'll be worth waiting."
"It'll hurt less..." she mumbled to herself, going unnoticed by Ray.
He sighed, frustrated, as he ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up a bit. A silence enveloped them for a while until Ray called out,
"Hey?"
She teared her gaze from the window and looked at him,
"Mhm?"
He lifted his eyes up to her,
"Can- can I at least get a hug?"
She was suprised with his request but silently nodded. She couldn't stop herself after all. She walked to him while his head hung low.
She first placed her hands on her lap, pondering a bit more, she finally wrapped her arms gently around his neck and pulled him in. Tears stung both pair of eyes, feeling the warmth they had missed dearly.
He tightly held her waist, as if he didn't want her to go. He wasn't ready to let her go. He wanted to continue holding her in his arms.
She clutched his shirt tightly, trying her best to keep in her tears that glossed her eyes. She tried to blink them away but failed as she felt a drop roll down her cheek. She wiped it by resting her face on his shoulder.
They were together. They were holding on to each other so tightly. Yet, somehow, there was a huge distance between them. One that felt like a void. One that they wished would simply disappear.
He tackled her to the bed with her on top of him, tightening his hold on her.
Startled by what Ray was doing, she asked, panic filling her voice,
"R-Ray? W-What are you doing?"
He stuffed his face in the crook of her neck as he whispered,
"Please, just five minutes more. Just five minutes more. I want this to last a bit more longer. I don't like being desperate but I am when I can't have you, you know that Y/n?"
Both their throats felt as if thorns were piercing them. They found it terribly hard to speak because if they did, they might end up crying. It stinged so badly that Y/n decided to remain silent.
She grasped his shirt tighter, feeling his warm breath on her neck give her a different sensation. Tears rolled down her face as she shut her eyes.
Ray. Stop. Please stop. Why? Just why can't I stop myself from loving you? Why do I keep falling deeper and deeper? Ray, don't do this to me. Don't. Please don't. Don't make me regret my decisions. Why are you doing this? If you do this, I won't be able to let go nor will you.
Will I ever be able to stop loving you?