Hey besties! I have three versions of this part so if you want me to post the other two so you have more to read I will lol.... anyway this is a combination of the other two because my friend said she liked the beginning of one but the ending of another so I don't know. Okay love you all xx
~Rob's perspective~
I stare at the ceiling in the guest bedroom, the images of the evening flooding my head, making it impossible to sleep, even if I wanted to.
We first ate our dinner. I don't know how he did it, but he had made one of the best pasta I have ever tasted, even though he had the shittiest ingredients. Either he was the greatest cook alive, or my feelings made everything taste better.
And then we watched Netflix. I barely remember what movie or series we started watching, because I was busy trying to figure out what to do. Too busy thinking about the man sitting next to me and what he was thinking and feeling.
We just sat there, next to each other. Would nobody make a move? I just sat there, wanting to curl up to him. He just sat there, while I was waiting for him to put his arm around me. Had I interpreted his signs wrong? Was the look in his eyes not what I thought it was? Did he only want to be friends? He brought me some more tea, gave me a blanket even, but mostly we just sat there. Watching. Waiting.
I started to feel tired. I thought it would be the perfect excuse to just... fall asleep on his shoulder? I tried to slowly sink lower and lower, kind of leaning my head towards him. I started yawning.
He noticed. He noticed but didn't say what I expected him to say. He looked at his watch and spoke the words that ended my plan, my dream, my hopeful wish:
"Oh it's getting late, should we go to bed?"
Fuck.
"No, no, we can just... go on." He smiled. That damn smile. That smile that made my entire world turn upside down. That smile that made me wish I did not yawn, that I just fell onto his shoulder and he just had to sit there, completely frozen, feeling everything I had been feeling. But instead, he just smiled.
"No, you're almost sleeping already. Come on let's get you upstairs. I'll lend you some of my comfortable clothing to sleep in."
And just like that I was taken upstairs. Just like that, I felt my hopes sink. Just like that, I realized he didn't like me romantically. Just like that, we stayed friends, nothing more. I turn my head towards the hood of his hoodie, his scent filling my nose. My heart aches for him. He is just next room, but I've never felt this far away from him. I'll just keep dreaming for a little longer, just a little longer...
A soft knock on the door. A soft whisper of my name. A soft question that could change everything.
"Rob, are you awake?"
"Yeah.."
"May I come in?"
"Yeah, sure.."
The door creeks open. He is standing in the doorway. The moon shines through the thin curtains and lights up his face. But it's stained, some wet spots reflect the moonlight into my shocked eyes.
"Hey, hey! What's wrong."
I get out of bed and hug him. Is it bad to hug him? No, friends hug... especially if one of them is crying.
"Come, sit down, tell me what's wrong."
"I fucked up. I fucked up big time."
I lean backward and pat the space next to me.
"Okay come, lay down, and tell me what's happening in your brain."
He rolls over to the other side of the bed and crawls underneath the blanket. I feel a little uncomfortable but also slide under the blanket again. The day I understand this man-
"I was content with my life, happy even. I was happily married, I love my children and I love my job."
He didn't say he loves his wife, but he does love his job... It kinda sounds like Rob...
"I didn't want that much more. Maybe a bigger party, get some more seats in the parliament. Of course, I still want to be prime minister one day, but what I had was enough. And now, I lost it. I don't have my safe haven anymore, and I have never felt more alone." Tears run down his nose as he stares up at the ceiling.
"Hey, it's okay." Should I say he still has me? "You can get through this. You WILL get through this." he turns around and looks at me. We are face to face. The eyes are back. How often did I think about a moment like this happening? What would happen if I just-
"I suppose I still have you."
"You don't need to sound so disappointed about it."
"I'm not, I just- never mind."
"No, speak."
"I just feel like I might lose you too."
I open my arms, giving him the space to choose my comfort. As friends, of course. He rolls into them and hugs me. HE HUGS ME- But I feel a wet spot forming on my chest as his tears flow freely.
"It's okay, it's okay."
I don't know why I keep saying it's okay. He clearly isn't okay. Maybe it's okay for him to let out his emotions? We'll go with that. My hand moves to the back of his head again, gently massaging his skull. I feel him calm down, his breath grows less shaky and slowly grows steady. Did he fall asleep?
And suddenly, it's morning. I wake up with Jesse curled up in my arms, looking rather peaceful on my chest. The early sun is now shining through the curtains. I look at the clock. 7 AM. I could go back to sleep... I carefully move into a more comfortable position, and luckily, he doesn't wake up. We'll figure out what happened when he wakes up, we'll figure it out...