(AU where Beast Dazai meets normal Dazai and Chuuya)
(Warnings: Smut, uh oh bad words)
(Word count: 3495)
(Inspiration: https://pin.it/5TRhEsj , https://pin.it/55sNq8n , https://pin.it/7iXbqxN )
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"...this has to be some kind of bad dream." Chuuya just stared at the other. His eyes were wide, his hands were shaky though you couldn't tell since they were in his pockets. He watched the brunette who just innocently tilted his head at him as if he didn't know what he was talking about. "Why're you letting him sit there!?" He truly couldn't believe the boss would just stand by.
Mori, was just minding his own business. He seriously looked like he was packing up for a vacation. How- how in the world is he okay with this? Where's the logic, where is it? "Why do I need to be here when there's a boss who succeeded me to take my place for a week. Sounds like a free break."
🎶What the fuck🎶
If Chuuya was to understand the situation correctly... Dazai, from this world, had found a book. And whatever you write in it comes true. However... it actually just created another world. A fictional world. One that was real at the same time as that, though. And apparently... this Dazai, the same age as the man he knew was apart of the agency, was the Boss. If Dazai had stayed he would've become the boss. It sounded totally crazy.
But what other choice did he have to believe or when he was sitting there right in front of him, just happily resting his head in his hands. This Dazai- was different from the Mafia Dazai that Chuuya knew many years ago. But he was also different from the agency Dazai that he knew now. He was like a combination of both. "What the hell..."
And he still couldn't believe the boss was just going to head out to take a vacation when such an event has taken place. Is he crazy or something!?
Dazai, meanwhile, simply stared and analyzed the red head. Dressed much different than from his own universe, but still an executive. "🎶I'm~ your~ boss~ now~🎶" the male tilted his head back and forth and swung his legs in the rhythm he sang the song, as if a child bragging.
"Shut the hell up! You are not my boss! And you're not my Dazai either!" Obviously the red head meant the Dazai from this world when he said 'my Dazai'. Completely meaning the opposite of what this Dazai grinned at.
"Woah, Chuuya think's I'm his? That's a new one~!" How could the male be so happy? He literally— he just hopped universes like it was nothing and was having all of his fun messing this one up.
"Shut up! First of all, you can't just come in here acting like—"
"Is that any way to talk to your boss?" Dazai tilted his head with a grin. Definitely had some malice intentions...
Chuuya forgot that this guy was seriously his boss now. They were practically asking for the Mafia to fall apart, weren't they? Well... if there's anyone Dazai hates more than anyone, it's definitely himself. Maybe he could do something about it?
Yuck. Was he seriously thinking about going to this world's Dazai for help? Hell, the two would get a long, wouldn't they? Double suicide together, yay! God... "Now go leave me alone!" The red head was brought back to reality as the other shooed him away with his hand. "Shoo shoo."
"....." I'm not a dog. But Chuuya knew he had to be careful with what he said now. As much as he absolutely hated it... the other was now the boss. And lord knows he doesn't wanna have to deal with any sort of punishment from that man.
Chuuya just stomped off, out of the office. Talk about annoying. Obnoxious. Just like the Dazai now. Except a little like the Dazai he knew in the mafia. God, this had to be some type of nightmare. It just had to. There's no way it was real.
Reality hopping isn't a thing. Sure, he'd heard of shifting. But that's completely different. If Dazai simply shifted to this reality, he would've been there from a start. A simple reality where two Dazai's exist. He wouldn't just pop up out of literal nowhere.
God he hated that man.
The red head truly had no other choice. He was eight hundred percent sure he wasn't going to be able to put up with the brunette being his boss for such a long time. The only person who would dare mess with Dazai when he's a mafia boss is... Dazai himself.
He took a deep breath. "...." I hate it here.
The red head just adjusted his hat as he began to walk towards one of the elevators in the building. Jeez... when was the last time he legitimately went to talk with Dazai like a normal human and ask for a favor? Yuck. Ask for a favor... he knew the brunette would want something in return. God, he hated owing that prick anything..
But the last time they spoke as none rivals may or may not have been a month or two ago. A lot sooner than he actually thought.
Chuuya didn't go the agency. He didn't need the weaklings there to watch him ask his rival for help. Besides... knowing Dazai he probably wasn't even there. No, he was headed for his house. At least— that was the plan.
"Haha whoops my foot slipped." Chuuya got kicked in the knees. O w — he hissed and looked up at the brown haired dick who kicked him. "This is such a coincidence! Something really annoys happened and I was looking for the perfect thing to take out my anger o-"
Chuuya interrupted him, grabbing on the taller male's hair. "OWwowowo! Chuuyaaaaa that hurts stop it!" And dragged him to an alley way where he let him go. "What a jerk... it's a surprise you can fit so much anger in you when you're so short-"
"Shut the fuck up and listen to me." The red head hissed, poking the taller man's chest. More like jabbing it with his finger. Ow.. the brunette tilted his head
"Haaa? The hat rack wants me to listen to him after he pulls my hair?"
"You kicked me in the shin two seconds before that, so we're even. Now shut up—"
Chuuya began to explain everything to the other. Including how the boss literally just let this other Dazai take over as Boss for the time he'd be existing in this world. Which sort of surprised Dazai a teensy bit... but whatever. "Well, that's just no good!" It ticked Chuuya off how Dazai just acted like it was a thing to home about. He took the other's hand and began to walk back to the direction of the Mafia building. "If there are two of me that mean's I can't have my beloved Chuuya all to myself!"
"I'm not your beloved!" He huffed.
"That's not what you said a month ago—"
"Shut up. I was drunk!"
"Mhm, but you know what they say~! When you're drunk, your true thoughts come out!" (I would like to specify that Dazai was also drunk. Dazai did not take advantage of a drunk Chuuya.)
"When has that been proven? I could say I'm taller than you while drunk but that doesn't mean it's true—"
"Man, stop talking. Your voice is so annoyingggg." Dazai waved his hand in the other's face, a tired and bored expression on his face.
"You little.."
"I'm not the one who's little."
Chuuya practically hissed at the other's comment. Haha... funny.
Despite not having been in the building for quite a few years, the brunette still clearly remembered the way through it and to the boss' office. He hummed happily. "Don't act so damn happy.." Chuuya mumbled.
Dazai ignored his comment and he pushed open the doors, letting go of the other's hands and putting them in his pockets. Chillin. "..oh wow, the chibi was right."
"You-"
"I thought he was just drunk again or something!" Dazai chimed as he walked up to the front of the desk, smiling as his other self stood up too with the same smile.
"So I'm apart of the agency, hm?" He chuckled softly. He knew that already obviously. He just truly wasn't sure what reality he was in anymore. Or how it worked.
"Yup! Now, I'm gonna need you to stay the fuck away from my chibi, ok?" Dazai gave a grin. His eyes might've closed just a small bit. It looked like a friendly smile but the aura was anything but friendly. His chibi!? I'm not his—
"That's funny. I know nobody here and you think I'm gonna stay away from the one person who I do know?" Mafia Dazai returned the same grin.
Ok... so this atmosphere was heavily dangerous. Chuuya just... decided to back up. Tiny steps. "You don't know him, he's not your Chuuya. He's mine."
Chuuya quickly turned and reach for the door handle. Why did this feel flustering to him...? Oh, because they were fighting over him. He expected them to fight about a lot of things but... not over him.
"Not so fast, Chibi!" Dazai quickly grabbed the other and spun him around so Chuuya stood in front of him now. He was holding both of his hands. "Go on!"
"Go on what!?" He huffed.
"Pick one of us!" Mafia Dazai chimed. He couldn't see the other's face. Why did it sound like he was grinning? Did he truly think that he would pick him—?
"What— I hate both of you, screw that!" Chuuya hissed. He felt him self be forced to take a few steps backward, the taller male in front of him advancing closer which caused this.
"You can only hate one of us! Cmon, which? You know me, so you should pick me to hate, Chuuya!" Dazai huffed. He kept taking steps closer, and Chuuya kept taking steps back. Chuuya felt his back hit a soft surface behind him, and felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist from behind.
"Yuh huh, pick the person who betrayed the mafia, Chuuya. I'm your boss. Pick me." Mafia Dazai huffed.
"Get your hands off my Chuuya!"
"You get your hands off my Chuuya!"
Chuuya's eyes were wide as the two got closer to each other, basically to yell. Which would've been fine except that he was standing in between them, both of their arms on and around him. Sandwich. How convenient. The red head convinced himself it was the warmth of the two's bodies that were causing his face to get hot. I mean— what else could it be if not that?
All he could head was the two of them bickering. "Chuuya slept with me, not you!" Dazai retaliated to a little comment Mafia Dazai made. Oh. Oh w o w . Why did he feel the need to bring that up? His face got hotter.
Mafia Dazai gritted his teeth and leaned forward a bunch, obviously forgetting about the shorter boy squished between them. Because of this his feet ended up tripping on Chuuya's, and— how nice. All three of them fell down.
Dazai landed on his butt, his hands supporting him so he wouldn't have fallen in his back. Chuuya was still facing him when he fell and well..
His face may or may not have landed in his crotch. Oh my God. The red head felt totally and absolutely paralyzed. And it didn't help that the second he tried to push himself up, he felt a hand on his head. Dazai stuck out his tongue at Mafia Dazai, purposely keeping Chuuya's head where it was to annoy him. And of course... that truly just made his heat stroke worse.
Mafia Dazai glared right back, and put both of his hands on Chuuya's ass. Ok, enough touchy touch. "OKAY- HEY- SCUSE ME BUT COUld... could you... you cut.... it out...." Chuuya had forced himself onto his back, attempting to at least sit up a little. But once he flipped on his back, he saw two Dazai's hovering over him.
They looked... anything but angry. They had these sly little smirks on their faces. "You know, Dazai and I had the funniest chat yesterday." Mafia Dazai chimed. Yesterday? But- I thought he only got here today— these two talked yesterday!? What was poking him?
"Indeed we did~!" Dazai lifted Chuuya up a little bit so he leaned his back against his own, his hands beginning to unbuckle the smaller male's belt. !!! "If you were to technically get fucked by two people who were the same person..."
"Did you get fucked by two people or just one person?" Mafia Dazai finished the question.
Oh my God— "Y-You two bastards planned this!!" Chuuya huffed. He wasn't trying to escape either of their hold's or move Dazai's hands away.
"Jeez, for as hot as he is, Chibi's honestly so stupid!" Mafia Dazai huffed, beginning to unbutton the red head's pants.
"Cmon, you can't tell me this isn't the least bit exciting, Chuuyaaaa~" Dazai purred into the boy's ear. "Cuz even if you don't say it I know something else will."
"F-Fuck you both." Chuuya huffed.
"Yeah, that's like the whole point." Mafia Dazai chuckled softly. Chuuya could hear shifting behind him, the clank of a belt buckle and then the zipper or the pants that belonged to the male behind him.
"..." Oh jeez... was this really happening? It better not be a dream... it better not. It was so funny. He was hoping that two Dazai's was just one big nightmare but now—? He shivered slightly as he felt the cold hit his skin, feeling the slender fingers of Dazai shuffle his pants down.
What the hell was he supposed to use as an excuse if the other ever brought it up to tease him? He most certainly wasn't drunk. It would definitely be entertaining if he could convince him that he'd just seen another one of himself and watch him spiral into madness.
Another hand— this one was Mafia Dazai's. He tugged down the front of his pants, almost in perfect sync when the other began to shuffle his pants down. He swallowed thickly. He wasn't fighting this. The idea did very much excite him. Obviously it hadn't been his first thought... like how it was theirs. Oh but it was still most definitely a thought.
"I just might've go as far as to say he's more excited about this than we are, Dazai~" Mafia Dazai snickered.
"You know, I think you're right~"
"How about the both of you shut the fuck u-!!" Chuuya's mouth stayed open though no noise came out, clenching down his teeth as the male behind him had pushed into him.
"Awe, that wasn't very nice. You should've at least given him a warning~" Mafia Dazai snickered, his fingers teasingly lingering over the red head's member.
"But that wouldn't... be any fun now would it..?" Dazai rested his head on Chuuya's shoulder with a little smirk, taking the liberty of marking up the boy's neck.
"You're right~" The brunette chuckled.
"Y-You both... mnn~ talk- w-way too much..." Chuuya was clearly trying to keep his noises down as much as possible.
"And you're way too quiet~" Dazai growled against his neck as he pushed in more, with a thrust, causing the other to let out a noise, though still using all of his will power to shut up. "Dazai, wanna help me out? It's no good when you can't hear his noises~"
"Oh, trust me. I know~" Mafia Dazai lowered his head, purposely just letting out a couple breath's against Chuuya's problem.
"D-Dont— tease me.. y-you bastard..~" He panted and clenched his teeth again, biting out his tongue to suppress a noise.
"You hear that, Dazai?" Mafia Dazai chuckled as he gave a long and slow lick across the base. "He's trying to give orders to the boss."
"Haa? Since when did my chibi get so ballsy?" He snickered.
"F..fuck— fuck you..." Chuuya huffed out a hot breath.
"I'm trying, but it's no fun when you're being so quiet." Another thrust. All the way in.
"Ga—ah..~" No.. nonono, shut up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. If you're heard or caught you're dead meat.
"That's more like it~" he chuckled.
To be honest, it felt like minutes had turned into hours. But it was a good thing. Two people at once- no, two Dazai's at once— who would've thought? Well— Chuuya would've. In fact he'd dreamed it but—
Well obviously it was going to be a hell of a lot better in real life.
Of course.. Chuuya had assumed that they'd go once. But boy was he wrong. After he finished the first time, he panted and tried to move to steady himself. But he was held in place, rather firmly by the two of them.
And it wasn't just twice either.
It all felt like one big fever dream. Something like this- obviously it wasn't something you'd just predict in your every day life. It was worth mentioning that the doors were locked. No one could walk in. It was also completely soundproof. No one could hear them.
But Chuuya didn't know that. And they kept going until they made him scream out their name.
"Walk."
"Fuck you— I'm not-"
"Walk." Dazai grinned as he knelt down beside the bed, poking at Chuuya's sleep. He was incredibly tired. Mafia Dazai wanted to be the one to take Chuuya home and take care of him.
But alas, being a mafia boss had its cons. Like... he was the boss. And therefore had to stay and attend to responsibilities.
"You know I can't... you prick." A tired worn out Chuuya gave a soft glare to him.
"I had to come up with an entire excuse as to why I can't show up to work today!" Dazai huffed. "The least you could do to repay me is stumble for a second so I can catch you then tease you~"
"I'm not gonna do that." He huffed. His messy red hair obscured a little bit of his vision.
"Always so stubborn." He giggled. "Though, I do prefer the next time we get a little time alone we do something other than sex."
"...but you're the ones who planned this—"
"Chuuya has such an exhausting sex drive!"
"Hey!" The red head made himself sit up a little to properly flip the other off. "Your idea, ass hole..." But he did have to agree. He would like to be around Dazai without it being anything sex related. Despite the way the two acted, they valued the soft parts of a relationship.
"Well, I guess today we get to spend the day together!" And it definitely won't be sex considering the other could hardly feel his lower half.
Dazai took one of his own button up shirts and put it on Chuuya, buttoning it up. "Jeez... I'm not a kid." He mumbled. Quite honestly non of his pants would fit him so he'd be stuck in his boxers and an oversized shirt. Cute. Dazai chuckled. "What's so funny?"
"I was just thinking about how stupid Chuuya was to bring me and my other self together~~!" He chimed, putting his hands together.
"You literally planned the entire thing!"
"But we simply predicted your actions. You were the one who made them." The brunette was simply dressed in pants, his shirt off, revealing his beautiful bandaged self. "Now walk."
"Stop it, I'm not walking." Chuuya had had enough embarrassment for the last 24 hours. Dazai sighed.
"Such a pain, making me carry you." Dazai chuckled as he lifted the red head up into his arms, who just had his middle finger stuck up at him. "Tiny hands!"
"I do not have tiny hands!"
Dazai brought a tired Chuuya, who was using his energy to get all mad at him, to the living room. He sat down on his sofa, the other in his lap, his head leaning against his chest. "Rest." He intertwined his fingers with his hair.
"Could've just rested in your bed..." Chuuya murmured, his eyes closing. He'd never ever admit it, but him playing with his hair felt so relaxing. When you can admit to having sex but can't admit that someone playing with your hair comforts you—
".." Dazai simply placed a soft kiss on his forehead as he felt the other go limp against him. He continued to play with his hair until he too felt himself fall asleep.
"Don't question it."
"...understood."
Atsushi and Akutagawa had... gotten into another one of their rather obnoxious disputes. And they'd gone to Dazai for him to settle their stupid argument but uh...
Well, yeah.
Mafia Dazai simply sat in his office, sighing. Where would he go in a week? To another reality? He wanted to stay here. No... he wanted to go back home.
Home to his Chuuya.