"It is WEDNESDAY, my dudes!" Janus crowed, doing a spin. "It is SIMULATION DAY! I LOVE it here!"
"We had a Simulation Day last week," Virgil reminded him. "And literally every Wednesday before that."
Janus shushed him, waving his hands. "Let me be excited for this, Sourpuss. You love them, too, don't deny it."
"Yeah, I do, but I'm not about to compose a ballad about how much I love them."
"I would," Roman said under his breath.
Virgil let out a sigh. "Of course you would."
Janus threw open the doors to the Ability Usage classroom, humming under his breath. Remus waved at the three of them from where he, Patton, and Logan were sitting.
"Happy Wednesday, my darling," Janus said, giving him a kiss. "Are you prepared to take down everyone in virtual sight?"
Remus grinned. "Yes."
"Just remember, kiddos, it's for practice," Patton interjected. "The simulations are supposed to be preparing us for the dangers we might face on the field---"
"Eh, every crew gets a yearly tracking-down-a-rogue-agent and/or interrogating-a-double-agent mission to really show us the ropes," Remus said. "This right here is war."
"Wait, every crew?" Virgil said, frowning. "How come I haven't gotten to do one yet?" His eyes widened. "Oh god, is it because I don't have enough experience?"
"Emile counted rescuing Janus as our sophomore year field mission," Logan assured him. "They usually happen towards the end of the school year, anyways."
"Though I still had to sit in on a boring-ass investigation over which agent stole money from some division's budget for making unapproved gear," Janus muttered. "Apparently, getting inside information on a cult doesn't count as a field mission."
"The term 'field mission' implies that you were willingly there as an undercover mole," Logan pointed out. "You weren't there out of your own free will."
"But I got vital information!"
Roman cleared his throat. "The point is, we get to go through a daring, virtual gauntlet of mysteries and adventure---the likes of which no one has ever seen before."
"Actually, Remy has a set cycle of simulations that he categorizes by difficulty, and he creates them specifically for each grade," Logan corrected. "So the seniors have experienced this one before."
"Why do you always have to ruin my moment," Roman sighed.
Patton checked his watch. "Oop! Almost time to grab our VR gear!"
Virgil and Roman raced towards the tables lining the arena and each grabbed a set of VR goggles and gloves. All of the other students followed suit.
"Bonjour, chiennes!"
Remy stepped out onto the balcony, VR goggles around his neck. "Everyone, suit up---and if you have a fear of heights, get over it immediately." He paused. "Unless it's deep-set and/or related to past trauma. In which case, you're excused."
Two or three students set their gear down and went back to the bleachers, already pulling out their phones or tablets.
"All righty then, that's settled. Gear and game faces on, everyone!"
Virgil put on the gloves and the goggles, holding his breath a little.
A log-in thing scrolled across his vision, as well as a little virtual keyboard. He typed in his school username and Remy's simulation started.
...............
Virgil was standing on the edge of a wide canyon, the rest of the class either next to him or on the other side. Rock towers of different heights filled the canyon, and the bottom was too far down to see... but if you looked down, you could see flashes of teeth, claws, and glowing animal eyes.
Ooooooh boy.
"Welcome, all, to... The Beast's Canyon!"
Remy appeared in front of them, hovering in midair and grinning. "The rules of this challenge are simple. Your goal is to go after the various artifacts in the canyon, while avoiding being knocked off course by your competitors or the monsters that reside in the canyon itself."
"Which artifacts?" one of the students asked.
"I was hoping you'd ask that." Remy snapped his fingers.
Little hovering objects appeared on top of each of the rock towers, all differing in size, shape, and color. There was only one rainbow one, which was on the highest tower.
"Okay, so all of them are important, but getting that one means that you win," Remy said, pointing at it. "You get to use your powers to try and reach them, and---"
"So this is basically Warcross?" Virgil interrupted, the gears turning in his mind. "Just, they don't give you any set power-ups?"
Remy blinked. "I... I have no clue what you're talking about, but---"
"Yeah, I get it now. I'm gonna crush this." Virgil rubbed his hands together, then jumped.
"What---" Remy let out a groan. "Okay, fine! Simulation starting! Go crazy!"
As everyone else let out a cheer and jumped off of the sides of the canyon, Virgil quickly grabbed some shadows and wove a rope, lassoing around the nearest tower. He landed on one of the shorter ones and stuffed the artifact into his pocket.
"HA!" Virgil crowed, grinning. "I got the first one!"
Roman swooped past him on a pair of hand-drawn wings and grabbed two different artifacts, sticking his tongue out at him.
Virgil narrowed his eyes. "Oh, it is on."
He let the rope fall apart in his hands, reshaping it into a pair of wings. "Nox, you ready for this?"
"Uh, from my point of view, you're waving your hands around at nothing just like everyone else," Nox reminded him. "Can't help you out in the simulations."
"Kapeesh." Virgil shot into the air.
The second he started flying, a tentacle brushed at his heel. Virgil looked down, expecting Remus, but once he saw what had actually crawled up the rock tower, he instantly regretted it. It was some kind of bug... alien... octopus thing, with way too much teeth in its mouth.
"Remy, you are a sociopath," Virgil hissed, climbing higher into the air.
"What? What'd he do? Lemme see!" Nox said excitedly.
"Can't you, like, read my mind?"
"Oh, yeah, forgot I could do that---OH MY GOD THAT'S THE COOLEST THING EVER!" Nox shrieked. "Can we use that thing as one of our monsters?"
"No, we can't!" Virgil shouted, dodging another tentacle. "No the FUCK we can't!"
"Fine, jeez, such a spoilsport."
Virgil sped away from the octopus bug, ignoring the screeches coming from the rest of his classmates as more monsters started to climb up the towers. He grabbed a couple of other unclaimed artifacts, eyes set on the little rainbow glow in the distance.
"OH MY GOD IT HAS THREE MOUTHS!" Sloane screeched, blasting one of the monsters with force fields.
Virgil spotted Remy in a sitting position in midair and flipped him off---not that he noticed.
"For the love of Archimedes, WHAT IS THIS!" Logan shouted. "Technopathy DOES NOT WORK on Lovecraftian monsters, Remy!"
"Improvise," Remy answered lazily.
"It is HARD to IMPROVISE when I am being CUT OFF FROM ALL OF MY ASSETS---"
One of the monsters grabbed Logan by the ankle and yanked him down into the abyss. A loud bloop noise sounded, signifying that he'd gotten logged off.
"Let that be a lesson, folks!" Remy announced. "High IQs don't always help you out!"
Virgil spotted Roman making his way towards the high tower and swooped after him, gritting his teeth in concentration. More bloops sounded as more and more students ended up getting dragged into the depths of the canyon.
"Almost there, Hot Topic!" Roman called, grinning. "You're gonna have to---"
Virgil virtually bodyslammed him off course, sending him crashing into the nearest rock tower. The monster crawling up it---a kind of centipede thing---didn't even need to drag him down, since he just tumbled in on his own.
Bloop.
"Sorry 'bout that, Princey," Virgil said, maneuvering himself towards the rainbow artifact. "But winning is winning, and---"
Someone punched him out of the air.
Virgil grabbed the nearest rock tower, pulling himself up on the ledge. After picking up the artifact and stuffing it into his avatar's pocket, he looked wildly around.
"Over here, honey," a familiar drawl sounded.
He finally spotted Janus casually sitting on one of the higher rock towers, blowing dust off of his gloves. Some spider thing tried to pull him down, but he just made his hand larger and batted it away.
"You asshole," Virgil hissed. "Using your Elastigirl shit is cheating."
"My dear, dear, dear, Virgil, how many times must I say this?" Janus sighed, flopping his head backward. "Using my powers is never cheating. It's simply playing to my own strengths. Besides, what you were doing could be considered cheating, as well."
Virgil glowered at him. "Okay, well, you've got an unfair advantage---"
"Yes, I know, and I don't intend to limit myself to make things 'fair.' Fairness is subjective, after all." Janus cracked his knuckles and flipped onto the next rock tower, snatching up the artifact on it.
"Show-off," Virgil muttered, grabbing a few more shadows.
"Oh, please, it's what I do best," Janus said, giving him a wink. "Have fun losing the simulation, sweetheart." He started to jump from rock tower to rock tower, nimbly avoiding each of the monsters.
Virgil swiftly remolded the shadow wings and started after him, determined to not let him win. It wouldn't have been a big deal otherwise, but Janus calling him "sweetheart" meant fucking war.
Janus spotted Virgil and gave him a grin as he sped up a little, not even bothering to pick up the rest of the artifacts on the way. Virgil swooped down, ready to kick him off---
Then Remus swung past and knocked both of them into the chasm.
The screen went dark, with the words Game Over: Simulation Lost in Virgil's line of vision. He let out a groan and yanked his goggles off.
"Really, Remus?" he demanded, looking over at his friend---who was evidently still in the game. "You really had to wreck our competition?"
"Uh, he can't hear you," Nox reminded him.
"Well---well, I'll yell at him later, then."
Janus gave Remus a bitter look. "Definitely sleeping in my own bed tonight. That was the dirtiest move I've ever seen him pull during simulations."
"No, he's played dirtier, he's just been on your side," Virgil told him.
"Still."
Remus made a grabbing motion in midair, letting out a triumphant holler. Everyone took off their gear, looking around wildly.
"And in a stunning turn of events, the Duke of Nightmares wins this round!" Remy declared. "Everyone give the boy a hand!"
Confused clapping broke out around the classroom, while Remus started doing a victory dance that mostly consisted of him jumping up and down and doing some weird version of the Twist.
"What?!" Roman exclaimed. "How the hell did you manage that?!"
"Hey, those were eldritch horrors," Remus said, shrugging. "That's my thing. I know how to make 'em like me."
"Also, he betrayed me by shoving me into the canyon," Janus said, apparently muttering but loud enough so pretty much everyone could hear.
Corbin's eyes widened. "Remus sabotaged Janus? Is that even possible?"
Remus elbowed him. "Yeah, I can do that, and it's Simulation Day, so I'm not in any way ashamed."
Janus raised an eyebrow. "Really, darling? Really? That's all you have to say for yourself?"
"Oh, sorry, is this better?" Remus fell to his knees. "I can't believe I was so cruel and heartless as to betray you and your trust over a simple training exercise! Oh, mi amour, will you ever forgive me?"
"All right, all right, I can tell when you're being sarcastic." Janus helped him up. "I still love you, but we won't be sharing a bed tonight, and no kisses for the rest of the day."
Remus choked. "No kisses?"
Janus shook his head. "No kisses."
"Not even forehead ones? Or ones on the cheek? Or on the hand?"
"Hand-holding and cuddles only." Janus turned around and started to walk out of the classroom.
"Wait---Jan-Jan!" Remus ran after him.
Virgil looked over at Roman. "Is this what all of their fights are like?"
"Yep," Roman answered. "They'll both forget about it in the next half-hour, and they'll be in their regular make-out schedule again by dinner."
"Cool."
A/N: Tas is with me in person today. Say hi, Tas.
Wassssssssssuppppppppp! its been a while! or forever! idk
Anyways... have a good day, and enjoy another one of Remy's bright ideas for training exercises.