AmerieSanchez: A short yet sweet open letter to my mom and dad.
There are no words to describe what you mean to me but during my trying times, you guys have stepped up as my parents and the grandparents to my children. You have always been there for me but this year has left me feeling in debt to you and I don't know how to repay you both for what you have done. The boys adore you and we're so blessed to have you in our lives.
Joseph, Thomas and I are so lucky to have you x
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Waking up to Joe after months apart felt so weird yet so right. Regardless of what people say or think, we do belong together. We have been stupid in unfollowing eachother on social media but I'm grateful that we have never publicly spoken bad about eachother.
"I don't know how I survived without you." Joe mumbles as he pulls my body close to his. "You're my whole world."
"And you're mine." We share a sweet yet passionate kiss. "Don't ever leave me again."
"I won't." Joe looks into my eyes. "I promise."
I need to make him work for me after everything that we have been through but it's hard because I love him so much. He is the only man that I have ever loved and he is the father of my two children. I don't want to lose him again.
"We need to work on our communication." I tell him. "If we can't do that then we need to seriously consider therapy because we cannot go back to that dark place. You have changed so much over the years and this year you scared me. You put your hands on me, you let people disrespect me and never spoke a word against it. I don't want to be afraid of my husband."
"I know." He grabs my hand and places it over his heart. "Everything that I did was fucked up and I'm sorry for putting you through all of that."
"What was wrong?" I ask as I look into his eyes and he shuts them, not allowing me to read his emotions. "Was it the miscarriage?"
"Some part of me blamed you for the miscarriage which is wrong since you didn't know before you went on your--"
"Drinking binge." I finish for him. "I blame myself, Joe. I didn't need you doing that as well when I was breaking myself because of it. We should be a couple of months pregnant now but we're not."
Silence falls between us.
We were set to be become a family of five and I screwed it all up by not taking care of my body. There have been women who have done a lot worse yet they made it through their pregnancies, unfortunately mine was taken from me.
"Husband, huh." Joe smirks as he looks down at me and I crack a smile.
"Let's get married." I whisper and his face drops. "We can elope, we don't have to tell anybody."
"Marriage won't solve our problems." He tells me and my smiles falls because I know that he is right. Marriage will not erase all the issues that we but I'm just so ready to have Joe Anoa'i as my husband. I never want us to be apart again.
The time spent away from eachother was scary.
I unsuccessfully tried to move onto another man but Joe was always on my mind. We may have been fighting a lot but Joe is really the only man that I have ever known and moving on from what we had was never going to be easy.
How could anybody top the love that we shared?
"I'm just ready to be your wife." I confess. "I don't want to wait anymore."
Joe sighs as he starts running his fingers through my hair, "Let's just wait it out. If we can get through the rest of the year without any issues then we can consider it."
I rest my body ontop of his as I look into his eyes, "Weeks."
"What?"
"We'll do a trial of three weeks and then we will head to the courthouse." I roll off his body as he chuckles and I slip into my robe before standing up.
I look back to see Joe's handsome staring back at me as he pulls the covers up to cover the lower half of his body.
Joe rubs his lips together, "I thought you wanted a big wedding."
"I don't care about a big wedding, I just want to be your wife." I tell him before pulling the covers off the bed, revealing the God given body that he has worked so hard for. "Now be a good husband and run us a bath."
Joe lets out a loud laugh as he stands to his feet, exposing his bared body to me.
"Ok wife."
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AmerieSanchez: If I was a dude, I would fuck me too
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The conversation that I had with my mother was out of this world. I took Joe with me to pick up our sons and she went completely berserk when she saw us together. My mother spent the first thirty minutes yelling at me for getting back with Joe before she turned on him for hurting her daughter.
All my mother has ever wanted was to see her children happy and I think she saw that in me because she broke down crying. We all had a very grown up conversation which lasted for hours and I know that Joe has a lot of making up to do with my mom.
The following day, I had an event to attend so I decided to leave the kids with their father since they need to make up for lost time.
The event just so happens to be a Dragun Beauty event which is my sister, Nikita's cosmetic line. I have not seen Nikita since the twins were born and I hate seeing what we have become. She was the youngest Sanchez before my dad welcomed a new child who I also have not seen since birth.
"Oh shit." Nikita looks at me in complete surprise. "Bitch, you're going to make me cry."
"Congratulations Nikita." My voice slightly cracks as I'm filled with emotion. No matter what we have been through, we are still sisters and sisters fight. We just never got back to the making up part until hopefully now.
"I can't believe you actually came." She starts fanning her eyes and I notice how this moment is being documented by the people around us.
"Bitch, come here." I throw my arms open and Nikita practically launches herself at me. Everyone lets out a cheer as we embrace and I just feel a sense of peace wash over me.
Nikita and I have a long way to go but I'm ready to do my part in mending our sisterhood.
"Let's get a picture." Nikita sniffles as we pull away.
As we pull away from eachother, we step back to pose for a photo or two.
"You really need to meet your nephews." I tell her as we move to a quieter section. "I'm sure that they would love to meet their aunt Nikita."
"I would love to meet them." Nikita smiles sadly. "I've missed out on so much."
"You have but so have I." I rub her arm. "You are the first trans person to create your own beauty line."
Nikita just smiles and as she should because she has made her own history. I wish that she would have been more open with me before our last argument so that I could have been there for her. I have been a business owner for near enough two years and I have some advice that could have given her.
"Let's just enjoy today and talk tomorrow."