Yall have waited patiently for this and I applaud yall
Enjoy :)
[RAPID POV SHIFTS]
Ryder
The sky is so beautiful. Stars litter the night sky like salt on a shiny black table. The cool breeze gently rustles the trees and cicadas break out in a quiet hum. We are lying down on the grass in a nearby park, looking at the expansive night sky. The moon subtly luminates Nathan's face, and the soft glow makes him look angelic.
"Look at that!" He points at the sky. "If you connect those stars together-" He moves his finger around. "- it makes an elephant."
"And that" - I point at a faint cluster of stars - "looks like a faint cluster of stars."
Nathan laughs. "You have to do better than that."
"Fine." I smile and roll my eyes. "Those stars beside the cluster, when you join them together, make a dolphin."
"Which stars?"
I roll to him and hold his hand out to the vast starry night. "Those. You see them?"
He squints, and then he grins. "Yeah. That's a pretty dolphin."
I smile back and lower our joined hands.
"Have you ever thought of how big the universe is?" he asks me.
"Hm?" I look at him.
"Like, we live on Earth, right? It's in the solar system, and the solar system is in the milky way, and who knows how many other galaxies are there, and all the galaxies in the universe and the universe is so endless . . . like a sheer volume of nothingness, weaving dead stars and worlds like a tapestry of meaninglessness . . . .
"Anyway, my point is, the universe is just so vast and empty, and we are just something small- really, really small. A speck. Like something that doesn't matter - like I don't matter." He is sitting now, his knees pulled up to his chest.
"One day, all life on Earth will be extinguished like a small flame. Millions and millions of lives lost, but to the universe, it's just another insignificant dead planet, another collection to its void. We will all be forgotten, gone forever, and all that's left is just the cold, empty universe."
"Hey, hey." I scoot closer to him. "Hey, don't say that."
Nathan buries his head in his arms. "But it's the truth, isn't it? I'm just a nobody who leaves no mark in the world."
"Nate, if you don't matter, then why am I here? Why are we in this situation? Why do I wake up every morning comforted by the thought of you? Why do I always think about you? Why am I with the most wonderful, kindest, and lovely human being I'm with right now?"
You are my sun, my galaxy, my whole universe.
He doesn't say anything, but he looks up from his arms, eyes glistening. And I keep going.
"You matter, Nate. To your parents, Eva, Cole, everyone. But you matter the most to me. You leave a huge-ass mark in my world."
You are my reason.
". . . Really?" He looks at me.
You are my everything.
"Really." I take his face in my hands.
And then I kiss him.
Nathan
Ryder's hands are cold, but his lips are warm and slightly chapped. I already expected him to kiss me, but when he actually did, it sent tiny fireworks running down my veins.
I longed for this. I longed for us.
I pull him closer to me. I love how he goes warm under my touch, the heat spreading throughout his body. It's like I'm a living campfire. I give my everything to him.
Ryder
I'm kissing a boy. I'm kissing Nathan.
Finally.
I've waited an eternity for this.
I want to trap this moment in a pretty jar for all to gawk at.
But I'm the first to pull away, heart pounding as feelings surge through me. I can't stop smiling. Nathan smiles too, his thumb tracing my jaw, delight shining in his eyes.
"Yeah?" I smile.
"Yeah."
Then I lower my lips to his again.
Nathan's breath is hot and sweet in my mouth. He smells like over-creamed coffee. I touch his hair, his knees, his cheeks, his back. I hold him close to me as I deepen the kiss.
He's so warm.
Nathan
I feel starved all this time. Starved of love, of affection, of Ryder.
He's doing the nice thing where he's tilting his head, moving his chin up and down. Pushing me. Holding me. It feels nice, so I mimic him. I push back. I hug him to myself.
He's good at this. It's like he knows what he's doing.
Ryder
I have no idea what I'm doing.
But it feels good, anyway.
Nathan
And I don't want to stop.
Why should I?
All that I've been needing my whole life is right here.
Ryder
The spark catches into a fire and the fire grows into a raging wildfire. Burning everything. My fingers, my mouth, my heart.
But instead of destroying me, it makes me feel more alive than I ever have in my life.
*
When we pull apart for air, I'm looking into his beautiful purple eyes. "I love you, Nathan," I tell him, my hand on his cheek.
His purple eyes are glowing even more now. Love. "I love you too, Ryder." He smiles. "To the moon and back."
To the moon and back.
I brush away his fringe and press a kiss onto his forehead. I've always wanted to do that. Nathan's eyes flutter shut and a small smile plays on his lips. Then I kiss his smile, and it grows bigger.
His fingers entwine slowly with mine and I squeeze his hand, my thumb making tiny circles on the back of it. I don't want this night to end. I want to stay here under the stars with him.
I could stay like this forever.
Nathan
"You do know I have to go home soon, right?" I say after a while.
"Shh!"
"Shushing me won't do anything!" I push him playfully.
Ryder laughs. I love his laugh. I love every single bit of him. I love this night. I don't want to go home. I want to stay here with him. The night sky is so big; I've never seen so much sky before.
Suddenly, he stands up. "What?" I say.
"Let's go for a walk!" He pulls me up with him.
I don't want to be walking right now. "Didn't we just?"
He laughs again and takes my hand in his. "Come on, I wanna show you something."
He leads me further into the park, holding onto my hand tightly until we reach a place that catches me off guard. There, hidden by trees, is a grassy area with a lake so still and undisturbed it's like a mirror. Around it, fireflies light up the sky as they bounce around like tiny flashlights in the chilly air. The lake reflects the moon and the fireflies' lights, making it look like another world trapped in it. It's so beautiful and surreal.
I let out a surprised gasp and Ryder chuckles. "It's cool, right?" he remarks and I nod, still captivated by this scene. "I discovered this place when I was on one of my night runs, though I don't do those any more."
Then I feel his arm snaking around my waist, turning me around gently so that I'm facing him, my hands curled up on his chest. He smiles at me, eyes twinkling as he leans forward to whisper in my ear:
"Let's dance."
My heart explodes into a million pieces at that. I give him a lopsided grin, somewhat embarrassed. "I don't know how to," I say.
He places a hand on my waist and holds my hand in the other. "Just follow me."
My right hand is still hanging loosely by my side. I'm unsure of where to put it but Ryder tells me to put it on his shoulder, and I do. Then we start moving in slow circles. It feels nice, except for the fact that I keep stepping on his foot.
"Sorry!" I grimace. I really am hard to teach, even when there are literally no steps.
But Ryder just smiles and squeezes my hand softly. "Don't be, Nate," he coos.
His face is still flushed - both of ours are - from kissing. His beautiful turquoise eyes are still sparkling. (I think it's from the fireflies' light but it's more romantic if I say it that way, right?) He then looks at me seriously before bursting into laughter. I do too.
It takes a while for us to laugh our awkwardness away. "Okay," says Ryder after he has caught his breath, "let's do this."
We fall into a rhythm immediately, and the world around us melts away, leaving just the two of us. Ryder twirls me into his arms. Uncontrollable feelings rush through me, making me feel giddy with euphoria. It's like a dancer possessed me because I'm not tripping over myself anymore. We lock eyes as we both smile. Then his slender fingers are on my waist, with both my hands on his shoulders.
Ryder looks at my lips, and since I can't hold it in any longer, I lean up and plant my lips on his. He then draws me close to his chest as he deepens the kiss. A sigh escapes my lips. This never ceases to grow old.
He pulls away slightly to look at me with those deep turquoise eyes and leans his forehead on mine. My eyes flutter shut, taking in this glory.
"I want to be your boyfriend," I whisper. "I want to be your awkward boyfriend."
Ryder chuckles and pecks my nose, making me reopen my eyes. "I want to be your awkward boyfriend too," he whispers back, smiling before we both burst into giggles.
"I realised something," he says after we finish laughing.
"What's that?"
"I can't believe I'm saying this but I'm actually thankful for Mr Wilson," he announces, "for making us pair up for the project."
I beam at him, my heart swelling with happiness. "Me too. I'm so glad I ended up with you and not some himbo."
Then his eyes start to turn glassy. I hold his face in my hands, panicked. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything- " I backpedal, thinking if I said something wrong but tears just start to roll down his face.
"I'm not- I'm not sad," he reassures me, though I think of the opposite. "I'm just . . . so happy that you're here- " he chokes out, turning away to cover his face.
I hug him to myself, stroking his back while he gives in and cries into my shoulder. "There, there," I coo, listening to his cries slowly soften. "It's okay."
Ryder then stands up straight and wipes his eyes. "Aw." He sniffles, drawing his bottom lip out in a pout. "I made your shirt wet."
I smile and pat his arm comfortingly. "That's okay, I like my shirt soggy."
Then, we continue slow dancing. My arms are around his neck and his hands are on my waist. Fireflies flit around us, making a fairy-light effect in this secluded area of the park. One decides to fly in between our faces.
Ryder jumps back in surprise at the same time my hands encompass the lightning bug.
"Look," I say, opening my hands just a tiny bit to let the firefly's light shine through. He looks down at my hand in awe.
"Normally, I'd say 'disgusting', but a glowing bug? That's cool."
I laugh. "You hate insects that much, Ry?"
"Yeah." He chuckles.
"Make a wish!" I raise my hand closer to his face, and he shrieks. His reaction is so priceless, I have to stop myself from laughing like mad.
"God, Nate, don't do that," he says, trying to keep the smile off his face. "If it lands on my face, I'm gonna make a run for it."
I giggle again. "Come on, your wish is still waiting."
He pecks my lips swiftly, making me release the firefly. "Already came true," he says, as the bug lazily flits away.
My cheek burns at that, and I kiss him again. "You know, I don't want to go home."
"But sooner or later, you're gonna have to pull a Cinderella on me," he replies, then he adopts a feminine voice. "Oh no, the clock has struck midnight, my boyfriend suddenly ran away and now I must return the lone sneaker to him. How shall I find him?"
"Stop!" I say, laughing. "I'm serious!"
"Right, sorry."
Then silence.
"We can just stay," he says quietly.
"We can."
"But your parents . . ."
I sigh. "Yeah."
Then Ryder dips me, his biceps firm under my hands. "One last kiss before you go, mein Schätzchen?" [my little treasure]
"So romantic."
He chuckles, but he keeps his position. "I'm trying!"
Smiling, I say, "Of course, mein Liebling." [my darling]
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AHHHHHHHH
1. THEY DID IT! THEY DID THE SMOOCH :D
2. deATH IS IMMINENT THE DAY OF RECKONING APPROACH- jk
2a. no i wasn't joking :) this book is coming to an end soon (but it's like 4? more chapters plus an epilogue so hang on tight yall)
3. I'm thinking of publishing this book on Amazon but idk how that works bbskjbk I can't understand all the admin shit ughhhhh i'll go figure it out
4. I had a whole list to say things here but I forgot so i'm gonna ditch it
ANYHOO i'll see yall next week :) toodles bros