One Month Later
Lea’s POV --
You would expect a lot to change in a month.
Not just your normal, average, change though. More like, change for the better. I figured that with all the new things coming my way, I’d find paradise sooner or later. Instead, I should have been more realistic with my wishes. How could a girl, like me, ever find the road to pure happiness? I mean, that kind of luck only happens in romance films like The Notebook or Dear John.
Nothing gets better in the real world, it only gets worse. For example, my parents have gotten back to their normal habits. Those include, cursing and beating me at least two or three times a week. No reasons follow up for their actions, there’s no set time for the riot to take place either. I’m never prepared and recently, no one is ever around to raise a voice for me. Lana normally does but within this month she’s gotten a job finally and behind closed doors she’s been saving up for an apartment which she also got the privilege of purchasing recently. The smart thing, for me, to do; would be to move out right along with her but there’s no space for me at the moment. I’ll have to wait it out. I’m used to waiting now, it’s become one of my greatest attributes.
Lately, I’ve distanced myself from literally everyone. I felt like I was starting over and not in the good way either. This seemed more like déjà vu if you ask me. Except the consequences have raised to higher levels. Something was different about my parents, personality wise. We hardly speak now honestly they’re telling me to come down for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I spend most of my time with Kira’s house to get away from the negativity. Even if she’s not home, I’ll still pay a visit. Her mom adored me so I was no stranger in that household. I was loved, for the most part--but what do I know about love anyway?
Jason and I talk regularly. He’s probably the best part of my day, honestly. I will never understand why people fear him so much. This past month consisted of him finding time to speak and see me. Even if it were late at night, he’d still show up just to say a quick hello. I loved seeing him, I loved simply hugging him and even kissing him now. I spent as much time with him as possible and I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of him. Just having him next to me could make my day all the better.
As of right now, I am currently helping Lana rearrange the small amount of furniture that occupied the house. We moved the couch farther against the wall and placed a small table beside it. On the table we set a lamp and then we begin dragging a coffee table across the wooden floorboard until it’s in between both the couch and where the TV will soon be placed. The kitchen needs work, a new refrigerator and stove, however everything else was pretty much neat and tidy. A simple one bedroom apartment, cozy enough for one girl if I do say so myself. She had been contemplating on bringing Jasper along with her but I made it clear that Jasper was going to stay with me. He may not be much of a defense against my parents but when I’m depressed, there’s nothing like having a little piece of happiness wagging it’s tail and licking your face, to brighten up your day.
“Alright, now move that chair a little more to the right and I’ll start dusting the table off.” She says, pointing off in the direction for me to follow as she walks back to grab a blue cloth off of the kitchen counter.
I grab the arm chair from behind and slightly bring it backwards, then to the right. It was my dad’s arm chair and it still surprises me how easy it was for her to convince him to give it up. I’m sure if it were me he’d say no and if I even thought of asking him again, he’d slap me across the face.
“You should have asked Ace to help you.” I say and made sure the tone in my voice came off as teasing to hide the annoyance underneath it. “Then you guys could hook up afterwards.”
“Oh my gosh,” She stops wiping over the table to look up at me, eyes glimmering. “That’s actually a good idea. I can invite him over now.”
“Um.” I clear my throat, straining my neck a little as I stare at her. “Um?”
“You can cover your eyes.” She waves her hand and scoffs. A minute passes and she looks at me again, laughing at my facial expression half-heartedly. “I’m only kidding Lea.”
“Good.” I hunker down on the couch and shut my eyes, releasing an exhausted breath.
“How’s life without me?” She said and since my eyes remain shut I only hear her plopping down onto the couch beside me.
I rest my cheek into the palm of my hand and shrug, “I wish you didn’t leave.”
“Are they getting worse?” She asks, adjusting in her seat comfortably.
I nod once, “It’s horrible.” I open my eyes to look at her and she stares back with eyes full of understanding. Anything I had to say, she was open and ready to take it all in. “Dad’s been saying that he’s going to end up giving me another scar like the one I already have. Mom’s been hitting me more and it’s just...you know.” I stop speaking because the more I talked about it, the more I felt this awful sting in my nose that would then activate the tears piling up inside of me.
“I’m so sorry,” She frowns, bouncing on the cushions as she makes her way towards me. Arms spread out and ready to lock around my neck. “You can spend the night here, I’m just sorry I couldn’t afford a bigger place...this place matched with what I had and I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted to leave, I feel so selfish.”
I hug her tightly and sigh, resting my head on her shoulder. “It’s ok. At least one of us made it out.”
“You will too.” She nods, her chin pressing into my shoulder with each motion. “I promise.”
Jason’s POV --
When you win every game for long periods of time, it gets boring after a while.
This entire week I wasn’t planning on doing shit with my business. If people needed cocaine, my advice is for them to look somewhere else until next week. It’s been an entire month and I’ve done too much, working my ass off to keep my name clean and my cocaine cleaner. The money never stops rolling in though, that’s the bright side of things.
In both hands I held a joint in between my index and middle fingers. Every so often, I’d take a drag out of the joint in my left hand and then I’d take a drag out of the right. The process repeated itself: two long ass drags, hold it in, and exhale that shit. I felt good, I felt high, but when don’t I feel high is the real fucking question. Ace and Brody were playing a game of Spades while I finished the joints in my hands. We were trying to plan out a day to get the hell out of the house and do something. If I’m not outside of the house then I’m inside smoking a blunt so either way I’m doing something productive, in my opinion.
“They should build another damn carnival.” Brody groaned, eye balling his hand of cards thoroughly.
“Fuck carnivals.” Ace seethed, grimacing at the thought of them. “How about bowling?”
I shrugged, taking a puff of both joints. The word carnival instantly drove my thoughts in one direction until it crashed on to the breaks. In front of my subconscious, lied the image of Lea. At that exact moment, she consumed my thoughts. This became both a blessing and a curse all in one.
Thinking about her made my chest tighten. Thinking about her made the corners of my lips twitch and beg to form a genuine smile. I didn’t want to think about her, because for the first time I was experiencing a feeling other than animosity. For some odd reason, I found myself irritated with the thought of going a day without hearing or seeing her. And that terrified me to the point of disbelief.
“Are you guys inviting Kira and Lana?” I asked, eyes fixed on the light flame, burning off the edge of the joint paper.
“Kira’s busy, helping her mom with some shit.” Brody say, smacking a card down onto the table with a wicked smile on his face.
Ace looked over the card and scoffed, pondering before smacking out his own card. “I’m not talking to Lana for a week, we made a bet. If I win I get a blow job.”
I press my lips together tightly and take another drag. Without interest, I watch them play their stupid card game. We were still waiting for Ace to smack out a damn card on the table but of course he likes to take his time and think before making a decision. That’s probably why he always comes out on top in these kinds of games. I wasn’t much of a thinker, if a card looked good I would just toss it out and then I’d lose. This is why I play videogames, they involve less thinking.
“Do you just want an excuse to invite Lea?” Brody spoke but his eyes were glued to the game before him.
“No.” I retort sharply, “Damn, not everything involves her.”
“You should bring her.” He shrugs, “She’d have fun.”
“Three guys and one girl.” I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought, “She’d be uncomfortable.”
“Doubt it.” Ace smacks a card down and grins at Brody. “I win.”
“Why did it take you that long?” Brody tossed the rest of the cards onto the table and stands up. “I agree with Ace though,” He shifts his attention over to me, “We don’t make people uncomfortable, she’ll be fine.”
“You could use this as a chance to make it official.” Ace nods, “That’s what she’s waiting for.”
“If I were going to make things between me and Lea official,” I stare at the both of them with heavy eyes that could barely hold an expression. “I wouldn’t do it with you guys around.”
“Let’s go to that arcade downtown.” Brody suggested, “You don’t have to be near us when you do it.”
I finish off the blunt in my right hand, “You guys cock block like there’s no tomorrow.”
“We’ll back off.” Ace groaned and I noticed he began swiping his finger through his cellphone.
Suddenly he flips it in my direction and I stare at the screen, shortly taking in the realization that the phone happened to be mine and it was in the midst of calling Lea. I snatch the phone from his hand and glare at the two of them, gradually bringing the phone up to my ear. It’s been ringing for quite sometime so I just sat back and waited patiently. My eyes shut but I could still picture both Ace and Brody paying close attention to every move I made.
“Hey Jason.” Lea’s voice appeared out of nowhere, taking me by surprise.
I open my eyes and lean forward, pressing my face into my hand. “Hey, are you doing anything?”
“Kind of.” There’s movement coming from her end and a exchange of a few words that I couldn’t comprehend. “I’m with Lana and we're moving stuff around.”
“Oh.” I lick my lips quickly, “I don’t think she would mind if I stole you for a little bit.”
The smile on her face was the most obvious thing in the world, “I don’t either.”
“Me, Ace and Brody are going to an arcade in a bit. You should come.”
“I’ll be the only girl!” She laughed, the sound of it blessed my eardrums.
It took every ounce of strength not to smile and make a fool of myself.
“Sure, as long as you stay with me.” Her demands were too adorable, I had no power to object to anything she asked for.
“I will.” I had to act as if I were wiping my mouth to cover the urges to smile.
The call ends and I manage to pull myself together. I avoid conversation because I already know all the questions they were aiming to ask. They begin to change into whatever they classified as appropriate for an arcade and since we weren’t at my house I just remained with the outfit I had on. The entire wait, I text Lea and we just continue back and forth until it was finally time to step foot into the outdoors. Knowing how inconsiderate the boys can be at times, I take it upon myself to sit in the back while Ace drove and Brody occupied the passenger seat. Getting to Lana’s new apartment wasn’t a problem for Ace but the major problem was keeping him in the car while we waited for Lea.
‘Don’t give up on a chance to get a blow job.’ ‘You’re a pussy if you get out this car.’Were the kinds of things Brody and I had to pour into his skull. Nothing like a good pep talk between three best friends.
As he’s sucking up his pride, Lea steps out of the house and all eyes were on her. We watch as she hugs Lana and Ace couldn’t help but utter a few things to himself. I open the car door and step out onto the pavement. Not knowing what to do with my hands, I just stuff them into my pockets and wait for her to walk on over to me. The sight of me brought a smile to her face and I was fighting to hold one of my own all over again. Normally I’d make the first move to lean in for a kiss but things change over time I guess. Lea, being as short as she is, tugged at the collar of my shirt until I caved in and hunched over. I kiss the smile right off of her lips, causing her to squeal in excitement. Not wanting to have Ace or Brody embarrass me, I pull away and allow her to take a seat in the back before I ducked in behind her.
On the drive to the arcade, everyone did a lot of talking. Lea did most of the listening and she only spoke if a question were tossed in her direction. Her answers were always sarcastic and hilarious which easily describe Brody and Ace. Sarcasm happened to be one of Ace’s pet peeves and Lea was quick to catch onto that so she used it to her advantage, just to poke fun. The conversations wavered from jokes to serious topics to subjects of food. Jumping from one subject to the next came naturally and the vibe surrounding all of us was good. Whenever Lea and I weren’t talking she’d sneak a peek at me and I’d catch her each time. I had my arm around her shoulder and I kissed her few times because I couldn’t help myself, I loved feeling her lips against mine more than anything.
The arcade was having one of it’s annual discounts so we were lucky as hell. Not that money would have been a problem but no one likes to spend too much of anything. Inside we remain in a group and search for a game to play. Lea was pointing at the games with prizes and of course she would spot a prize that resembled an elephant. I promised to win it for her later and she settled with that as we continued skimming for more games to play. Brody found a game which involved shooting and running and luckily it came up to four players. Lea, allowing her shyness to get the best of her, sat out the first try and the second try we were able to convince her to play.
“Just one round.” I placed my hand on her back and steered her toward the game stand.
“I don’t like shooting things.” She pouts, grabbing the toy gun and holding it innocently in both hands.
Handing her that gun was exactly similar to lending a pistol over to a four year old. Her eyes grew, cheeks flushed and she had to summon some sort of courage to look at the screen. Ace and Brody were trying to give her a little confidence but the thought of shooting someone’s head off didn’t sit well in Lea’s stomach. Holding the gun with one hand she covered her eyes and pulled the trigger in any direction, shooting a few things to earn points but not enough to pass her onto the next level. I laughed the entire time, taking the gun away from her and placing it back into it’s pocket beside the game handlebars.
“Let’s play something else.” She claps her hands and we all wait for her to point over to something.
“Nothing stupid.” Brody pointed out and I shot him a look over Ace’s shoulder.
“I see motorcycles over there. Let’s race.” She cheers, spinning around to stand behind all three of us. She begins to shove us all forward in one direction until we reach the destination she searched for.
Four motorcycles but two games. Each pair had it’s own separate game so Lea and I would be racing against each other while Brody and Ace did the same with one another. I smirked at Lea, watching her drape her leg over the motorcycle and slide her card into the slot to activate her game. Her hands grasped the handles and I acted as if she were ready to drive off in reality. She looked at me and laughed, knowing how much of a fool she was making herself and I chuckled before taking my seat on the motorcycle beside hers.
“If I win you have to tell Ace and Brody I’m better than you.” She jeers, wagging her finger in front of my face. “If you win you still have to say it.”
I barked out a laugh and lightly push her hand away from my face, “Don’t get so cocky baby.”
She shrugged her shoulders and we started the game. Of course I took the lead and she whined, kicking out her foot to shove me more to the right. I let her get away with it and even gave her the permission to pass me since I had been in first place for so long but I didn’t intend to let her win altogether.
“You want to know something funny?” I ask, steering the motorcycle to the right.
“No, I’m winning.” The tone in her voice was full of glee.
“The way you’re sitting,” I grinned, glancing at her. “I’d like that better if I were under you.”
“Like this?” She grinned back but kept her focus on the screen.
She arched her back so her chest would pop out forward. I bit my lip, staring at the way she leaned forward and her ass poked outwards. She won the game and I didn’t even care, my eyes never looked away from the sight of her back. I eyed her, analyzing everything she did. From straightening up, to lighting her feet over the motorcycle. Drool could have been dripping from the corner of my mouth and I wouldn’t have noticed, I was too fixed on her hips, her ass, her thighs, legs, everything. A couple girls can keep me satisfied but nothing is going to change how badly I want to just touch Lea. Just once, that’ll be enough.
“Lea,” I finally released my bottom lip from the harassment of my teeth. She was still too busy cheering for herself and clapping her hands, doing a small dance in circles. I grabbed her arms and she laughed, smiling at me. “Lea, you need to stop.”
“Stop what?” She cocked her head slightly, blinking naively.
“You don’t realize who you’re dealing with here, Lea.” I shake my head, “That innocent little sparkle in yours eyes will be gone once I get to you.” I release her arms and trail my fingers down her skin just to grab her fingers. With my eyes, I glower over her curves and lick my lips, knowing that she had her eyes on every move I made. “And don’t think I won’t get it baby, I always get what I want.”
Lea’s POV --
He can have me.
Jesus Christ, he can have me. Every time his tongue traces the shaping of his lips, I feel my insides dripping. Each time his eyes meet mine and he grins, I swoon and stumble. I don’t even know what I’m thinking right now but I do know that the way Jason’s making me feel is way more graphic than I expect. Feeling trapped in his web, I shake my head and just try my best to act like his words didn’t phase me. So what if he called me baby? So what if he wants to have sex with me? Who cares? Not me!
I’m such a bad liar.
Sex and Jason were two things that fit in a sentence together. I, on the other hand, do not fit in that sentence. I mean, of course I’d probably lose my virginity to Jason. Who wouldn’t want to anyway? I bet he knows everything there is to know about sex and more. It’s better to be doing those kinds of things with someone of experience, in my opinion.
I extract those thoughts from my head and walk away from Jason to see what Brody and Ace were up to. They had finished a round of tossing these balls along a board and hoping for it to fly high enough to land into the center of a target. Neither of them to get it exactly but they tipped the edge of it many times. I clapped my hands for the both of them, mainly Brody because picking on Ace was too fun. We were growing into one of those brother and sister relationships where we pick on one another without any remorse and Brody always took my side which made me a very happy camper.
Finally, we all came to an agreement that it was time to eat something. Brody suggested pizza and everyone was all for it. While he ran off to order a large one, the rest of us sat at table. Ace seated across from me and Jason to my right with his arm around my shoulder. I wanted to place my hand on his thigh but that would be making it seem like I was asking for something, else when in reality I was just trying to be cute.
“Has Lana asked about me?” Ace asked while I was in the middle of folding my hands together over my lap.
“Nope.” I reply flatly, “Aren’t you guys doing a bet?”
“Yeah.” He nods, “She’s doing good so far.”
“You guys are so dumb.” I laughed, “Lana’s going to win though, guys always lose. Am I right Jason?”
Jason shrugged, “You cheated.”
“You never said I couldn’t do that.” I mimicked his voice and that initiated a laugh from Ace.
I laughed along with him and he even offered me a high five. I assumed that Jason has used that line many times since Ace was so quick to catch on to my joke. Jason groaned, turning away from us in annoyance and I hugged him tightly to keep myself on his good side. Brody arrived after a few minutes with a large box and once we were all blessed with the view of a freshly made circle of pizza, each of us took a slice.
“This shit is so good.” Ace wiped away fake tears from his eyes as he took another bite from the end of his pizza.
I grinned inwardly, enjoying my slice in piece. Brody ate his rather quickly, already jumping to his next slice which Jason reaching for another right after him. I stared at the both of them, chewing on the cheese slowly. They literally cobbled each slice up like they were lions who haven’t eaten in three or four days. Ace grabbed for a second slice and I continued eating my first, sipping my pepsi every so often as well.
“I think this is Jason’s moment.” Brody glances at Ace and smirks, “Don’t you agree?”
“Of course.” He nods, gulping down his sprite, “Jason, it’s your time to shine.”
“Don’t fuck this up.” Brody speaks again, passing on a stern look in Jason’s direction. “Or you’ll end up like Joel.”
Ace laughed and I just stared at them. Brody brought up an imaginary gun to his temple and pretended to pull the trigger, blowing out his brain. Ace brought his thumb over his neck and imitated the sound of something slicing through it. They chuckled to one another and Jason set down his slice, glaring at them deathly. The image of someone getting shot was horrible and I wanted to understand what they meant by that. Hopefully it was just some sick joke or something they remembered from a horror or action film.
“What?” I asked, after swallowing my last bite of pizza.
“Nothing.” Brody waved his messy hands disdainfully.
My eyebrows pulled together and I looked at Jason, thinking maybe he’ll shed some light on me. I hated be left out in the dark, not knowing anything and feeling like an outcast. Jason’s facial expression contorted in something evil and upsetting. I didn’t like it at all but I was too afraid to open my mouth and ask what was the matter. I remain quiet and go about the rest of the time here enjoying the little things.
Another hours goes by and that evil tension diminished. Jason was back to his normal self and he won me the prize I’ve been nagging about from the moment we walked in. The moment it was time to leave, I didn’t feel so well anymore. It’s a good thing I would be spending the night with Lana however, being with Jason was just so...exciting. Every second with him was a new adventure, a new reason to smile. I loved that, I cherished that.
Now that we were in the car and heading home, I was back to over thinking every little thing. I brought the conversation back up into my head. I really wanted to know who Joel was and what Brody meant by that. Jason didn’t kill people, that’s absurd. He told me he would never do that so that’s exactly what baffled me the most about the joke. Not that I was pinning Jason for murder or anything, it’s just the only logical thing I could come up with. Or perhaps it was Brody who killed a man. Either way the entire subject puzzled me and Jason’s reaction didn’t make it any better. I needed to know or I probably wouldn’t keep myself up at night wondering what the heck they meant.
Jason had finally gotten fed up with both Ace and Brody so he told them to just take us to his house and he’ll just take me to Lana’s house soon enough. I laughed at them and waved goodbye to the boys and they were still teasing Jason while driving off. Groaning to himself Jason headed towards his car and I followed after him, dipping right into the passenger seat. I would have preferred to stay at his place but Lana would have thrown a fit about it.
My fingers were fiddling with one another, expressing how deep into my thoughts I happened to be. Jason pulled out a cigarette and lowered the window, lighting it up at the next stop sign we reached. I wave my hand in front of my nose and lower the window beside me, coughing slightly. Jason merely chuckled but made sure to keep the cigarette hanging outside the window. I wanted to ask him about the joke but I wasn’t too sure if he were still upset over Ace and Brody’s childish acts or not. The last thing I wanted was for Jason to be fed up with me.
All the same, I just really needed to know.
So when he pulls up in front of Lana’s house, I bit down on my bottom lip and turned to face him slowly.
“Can I ask you something?” I squeaked.
“I already know what you want to ask but go ahead.” He sighed, squinting his eyes as he took a drag of his cigarette.
“I don’t want you to be upset with me if I do though.” I narrow my eyes, leaning back to avoid the smoke. “Nevermind.”
“Just say it.” He spat, practically spitting out smoke as well. “You know I hate that shit.”
I tense up and suck in a large breath, staring out the window. “I was just wondering what Brody and Ace were joking about...the whole Joel thing. Was that a joke like...from a movie or something?”
He doesn’t reply and my stomach sank so deep I felt my body sinking right along with it. I look at him and he tossed the cigarette out of the window, even if it could last a good seven or more puffs.
“See, that’s why I didn’t want to ask.” I frown, voice shaking unevenly. I kept swallowing down because every passing second dried out my throat.
“There are certain things you don’t need to know about Lea.” His voice was hard as steel. “Let’s leave it at that.”
I shook my head, even though my entire body began to shake in sudden fear. “What happened to him? Please tell me it’s just a joke.”
His eyes turn and gaze into mine, “Do you want me to lie to you?”
“No.”
“I suggest you get inside then, just forget it.”
“I don’t understand.” My teeth were beginning to chatter, “I have this thought in my head but I can’t picture it as reality.”
“The thought of me killing someone?” His head leaned back against the seat but tilted in my direction.
I nod since words were no longer good to me.
He chuckled, shaking his head very slowly. “Sorry you had to find out this way.”
My heart literally stopped beating, my eyes widened and my palms were sweating. I shut my eyes and leaned back again, keeping away from him. I couldn’t fathom that thought, I couldn’t fathom anything. With the slightest pinch of hope, I prayed that he were just pulling at my nerves to see me get all worked up. I wouldn’t be upset with that, I’d be ok with that. As long as it turns out that he were simply joking.
“You k-killed someone?” I gulped, my breathing became as uneven as my voice.
“I won’t lie to you.” He remained as calm as the wind. “Yes. It’s not the first time.”
I was sick to my stomach, “What?”
“It was awhile ago.” I could hear him shrugging it off like it’s no big deal.
“You think that excuses anything?” I look at him, even if it disgusted me more than the words he spoke. I looked at him and held my stomach for dear life. “You killed a man Jason, he could have had a family.”
His jaw clenched, eyes growing dark with resentment. “Lea, I told you that I’ve done some crazy shit before. I tell you this all the time.”
“That’s not crazy Jason,” I scoff, trying to give myself a reason to laugh. “Thats inhumane. You lied to me.”
“What the fuck did you expect?” He shifted to stare at me with angrily, “Why the fuck would I tell you anything?”
“In the beginning.” I shake my head, “You told me you would never do something like that.”
He groaned, grabbing onto the steering wheel and pressing his forehead into his knuckles.
I grabbed the handle of the door and opened it slightly. Even so, I couldn’t remove my eyes from him. I couldn’t believe any of this. I didn’t want to but I’d have to force myself to eventually. I’d have to face the fact that Jason wasn’t as good as I thought he was. That Sandrine was right, Kira was right....everyone could possibly be right. I was searching for the good in something evil.
“Jason,” I took a deep breath, fighting tears as I stepped one foot out of the car. “Just...just stay away from me, ok?”
His head lifted a bit and his face twisted in my direction. “That’s how you’re going to be?” I nod and he says, “Fine.”
“My life is traumatizing enough as it is.” I felt horrible for the words I was speaking but it was all so true. I couldn’t handle that along with my parents. I can barely handle spending one night in my own house. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” He straightened up and rolled his shoulders back, “I’m sorry for letting my feelings get the best of me.” A small smile comes across his face and he looks at me, “But you’re right, I’ll stay away.”
He starts the engine and I was still frozen in my place.
“Far away.”