Sometimes, I wish my dreams were real. Sometimes I wish I could just stay in a dreaming state forever.
I have been having dreams about what I believe is to be my past life. Dreams that feel so real, kind of like I lived them before. I know they are just dreams, because every time I get to the most interesting part of my dream, I wake up. I wake up to a world filled with nothing but boring routines.
"All my style
All my grace
All I tried to save my face
All my guts, try to spill
All my holes, try to fillAll my money been a long time -"
And then, my phone rings
"Hello?" I said as I answered the phone in my scratch morning voice.
"Iris, where are you? Its been 3 days, you have not been answering your phone up until now. Your apartment has been empathy and classes are starting up again tomorrow. " The worried voice of my bestfriend made it seem like I just went missing.
I let out a cough before responding, "Oh yeah, my mom kicked me out a few nights ago because she found out about the baby kitten I have been nursing. I packed all my stuff into my car and rented a motel room. At least until i find a new place or something."
Unplugging my phone from the charger I could already hear her voice say well why didn't you call and tell me? Well Joan, I did not tell you because I like my sleep and you make it hard to sleep with all your snoring and kicking. plus your apartment is tiny.
"Well, why didn't you tell me? I would have had an apartment ready for you. Not sure if you even remember, but I do own an apartment complex." and that's when it hit me.
The one I have been calling my best friend has been thriving at life. She pretty much won the lotto when she married that C.E.O. of some large gaming software company. After he had passed away, he left her as the beneficiary to all his assists as well as the company its self. Either we were growing apart, or I was just disassociating more and more each year.
"I didn't want to burden you." I said as I got out of bed and walked over to the box of wet cat food.
"Iris, you are never a burden. Anyways. Send me the address to the motel you are staying at, I am gonna come pick you up and put all your stuff in a U-Haul and set you up in one of the apartments." She ended the call and right before I could open my phone, i got a request to share my location with her. I sighed as I accepted the request. I knew if I didn't, she would find out where I am at anyways.
After feeding the now 8 week old kitten, I took a quick shower and worked on my hygiene. I was about 2 hours away from Joan ,So that gave me a little more time to get refreshed and ready for the day. I turned on the T.V. which only had one channel, which was the local news station.
" 22 Year old female dead after police found her lifeless body at ... park... Investigators say she may have... " Well there goes the tv service.
I laid back in bed. My eyes feeling heavy again, as much as I wanted to go back to sleep, any minuet I could be getting a call from Joan. I needed to be ready even though all i really had were boxes of cosplays and journals containing records of dreams I could remember, all my furniture that i was able to fit into a U-Haul and all of the cat toys I bought for the kitten Because I really didn't want them scratching up my furniture.
With in seconds of just laying in bed, i heard a knock. "Iris, I'm here, lets go." she said as she kept knocking.
I opened the door to Joan and two other men. They looked around early to mid 20's. They also looked exactly alike. Almost like twins. " Okay boys all the stuff in boxes go to the U-Haul, the rest Iris and I will take care of. I quickly grabbed the kitten before she ran out the motel door.
"You really didn't have to do this Joan." I ran my fingers nervously through my hair. Something I always did as a way to calm my nerves.
Joan Looked straight at me and said ,"Iris, we have known each other since the first day of daycare. We made a pact that we would always and forever remain best friends and be there for each other in our time of need," she slightly smirked and chuckled before saying the next few words that came out of her mouth," and well, you really need my help."
I didn't know how to respond to the words that just came out of her mouth. Joan has always been the one to take care of me. She always defended me when I was getting picked on during school and she was always there for me when times got tough at home. You could say I am the side kick and she is the superhero, or well she is the heroine of every novel, tv show, and movie in existence. I, however, have always played a minor role in life. I stuck to the side and kept quite as my best friend got asked to school dances and out on dates. She never really accepted the offers. I guess she felt bad that I was wasn't asked out and didn't want me to feel bad? I had to push her to go on that date with my former boss. He took a liking to her and she only agreed if he paid for my collage education. Then a few short years after their marriage, he croaked. yeah, he was that C.E.O I was talking about earlier.
It wasn't long before we headed out to the apartment she had furnished for me. "I have been waiting for the moment when you decided to move out of your parents," She clapped her hands together as she walked over to the large plastic purple tub I had labeled Baby Kitten's Stuff,
"So I had this apartment ready for you, I got you the best view of the city and to top it all off, you have a now fully stocked fridge of food. Please tell me you like it? "
I took a look around the apartment. All I could think about was, how long has she been planning this?
"All I could say is, wow. This is beautiful Joan." She clapped her hands and jumped up with joy.
" I am glad you liked it. Anyways. lets get you unpacked and everything. Well figure out to eat later."
I rubbed my face in circular motion. My world has really changed. As much as this life seems "great", I would prefer the world I have been dreaming about my entire life.
"Hey, Iris? Who is this?" Joan called from the other side of the apartment. I was in the bedroom setting up my art supplies.
"what is it?" I shouted as i l began walking out the bedroom.
"Well, I found this picture that slipped out of your journal, it looks old-"
"Let me see that," I said as she handed me the picture, it was slightly faded but you could still see what the picture was. The picture was of a woman. She had long black hair and looked just like the woman I have been seeing in my dreams, but I couldn't put my finger on who she reminded me of in my dreams , "What journal did this come out of?" I asked as she handed me the journal titled , "Dream journal volume vii (7)" I open the journal to read the first entry.
Journal entry:
September 26, 2003
I have been having dreams about another life. My therapist suggested that i start writing my dreams in a journal, this is my 7th journal.
I am 7 years old now, but I've only been writing about my dreams since I was 6. My therapist and all of my family says I have the vocabulary of a 12 year old. I guess that is because my main source of entertainment is from books in lobby of my therapist and from the schools library.
Last nights dream,
I saw her again, that woman I assumed to be my mother. I was playing in a field of flowers, but instead of it being daylight with sunny blue skies and fluffy white clouds, it was a night with stars that shined so bright they lit up the night sky. "Irene," The woman called as she was running towards me, "Irene, your father and I have been looking for you everywhere. Come now, its getting close to day light. You wouldn't want to turn to ash now would you?" She said as she pulled my hand upward, motioning me to get up from my laying position. This woman, she looked as if she was scared for her life. I never knew why after all these years, why she was so afraid of the daylight. No one really cared to explain.
As the night sky went from a beautiful black color, you could already see little rays of orange and red peek out from the trees as the night sky changed to a cool navy blue color. The woman I assumed to be my mother tugged my arm motioning me to get into the carriage that looked like it would block out any form of day light from coming in. I hopped inside of the carriage. Mother, looked at me as she closed the door. Mother looked angry. Her jet black dark hair looked like a complete mess and her golden brown eyes looked black.
"We have been searching for you for over 6 hours, and this is were you've been this whole time? How did you even get here?" She asked as she shook her head. " Never mind that. Tonight there will be a ball, this is going to be for your sisters engagement to the prince of some neighboring kingdom. I don't remember the exacts. Your father knows more than I do." Mother looked frustrated and tired. As if she wanted to go to sleep already.
It felt like almost an entreaty until we arrived to the place I assume is home. The house, as I have described in the past, was more like a castle. From what I gathered in t he past, we were royal. though I never truly understood what we rule over. The woman I assume is my mother tells me that I am just simply sick and cannot go out during the day time and that I am not allowed to be in the sunlight.
"Hurry now, daylight will be out soon, " The woman I assume is my mother said as she pulled out the velvet color parasol, "come on now." She motioned her hand in a "come here" motion. I stepped out of the carriage and walked with me to the inside of the castle.
"You have been acting stranger and stranger Irene." She said.
"I.. I am sorry."
I looked down at the marbled flooring. Tapping my heels together and fumbling the two pieces of red ribbon together. "No need to say sorry. Go get changed you got your dress dirty." I looked down to see that my dress was covered in mud. I guess that is what happens when you wonder the woods to find a peaceful place to relax from all this strange activity.
That was the end of the journal entry. For that day at least. There were more pages filled, most of them talking about the adventures and people I met in my dreams. Strange how my vocabulary was slightly bit more advanced than any normal seven year old.
"Wow, that is..." Joan tried to catch the words that floated in her brain," Anyways, lets go get some food. I am starving and its already 6:24 pm."
I didn't notice it but we got done unpacking the entire house while I read out my journal entry. Must have been that entertaining.
"Sure, how dose Pizza sound? I heard that there is this pizza place that everyone has been raging about and I have been wanting to try it. " Joan grabbed the keys and shouted,
"I call driver!"
I couldn't help but chuckle as we walked out of the apartment. Joan is the only person who makes living worth it.
We arrived at the pizza restaurant, it was crowded which made my anxiety feel 10 times worse. My mind couldn't stop spinning and my face felt red. "Iris? Why don't you go find us a seat and lay your head down. Ill order and get us drinks." I felt Joan place her hand on my shoulder, it startled me, but at least it was her and not some stranger.
I Walked over the the farthest table from the crowed of people. How ever there was one other person about a few tables in front of me. I couldn't make out if it was they were older or younger or even male or female, they had a medical mask on and a hoodie. Kind of like something some one would wear if they are stalking you.
I rolled my eyes to the side to avoid eye contact. "Come on Joan. I don't want to be alone." I said to my self as I awaited my bestfriend to come with out drinks and order ticket.
The person took their mask off and placed down their hoodie. I only noticed this because I was looking around anxiously for my friend. The person looked like a girl, but who am I to assume. Last time I assumed someone's identity, I got cussed out. The person had long copper red hair. If I had a simple way to describe them. The some what looked like Lindsey Lohan in Freaky Friday. The grunge aesthetic made them look like they never left 2003. I guess it was something I could vibe with.
"Irene?" I looked up as the person, or well female spoke the name I was only called in my dreams.
"It is you!" I shook my head in confusion.
"Hem sorry, bad approach. My name is Eva Cristine , or well in the other life, Zara Rea. I am sure you don't remember me, but we were -" She was cut off as Joan walked over to the table with our drinks.
"Here is a Dr. Pepper for you with 2 cherries that I totally didn't nab from the toppings bar on the fro-yo side." Joan said as she placed my drink down.
" And who is this?" She took one look at Eva and I could already tell Protective Joan was activated.
" My name is Eva Cristine, here is my number. Call me when you are alone." She said sliding over a business card with her number on it.
"Oh, look at you Ms. Stone. Getting digits from cute grunge chicks." The way Joan made that sound made me blush uncontrollably. Yes, Eva was cute and all, but I don't think she was trying to flirt.
I have no clue what's going on. I'm just tired.