tw: mentions of sexual assault
*one month later*
"Jesus Christ. Is there anything more disgusting than a teenage boys room?"
Jessica reached down, picking up used bowls off of the floor next to Justin's bed. They both still had milk in them. The smell made it seem like they had been there for a while.
She plopped them in the counter, gagging as some milk spilt out onto her hand.
Ophelia laughed as she finished vacuuming the floor. "Maybe a twelve year old boy's room."
Justin and Clay were definitely old enough to be keeping their rooms clean by now. Alas, that is not what happened.
Jessica looked around the room. "I expected Clay's side to be better. But it's just as bad. Is he alright, Ani?"
Ani had been hanging a banner on the ceiling.
The banner, decorated by the three of them, read, 'WELCOME HOME JUSTIN'.
Ophelia was proud of how well the letters and colors turned out. It had taken them a full week to make.
Ani stopped for a moment, looking down at Jessica.
"Yeah...Yeah, he's fine." Ani sounded unsure. Even more so when she finished hanging the banner, hopped down, and noticed even more dirty dishes on the floor. She sighed, plopping them onto the counter. "He's stellar."
Jessica saw the exhaustion in her eyes. "Do you love him? Or are you just taking care of him?" Ani and Clay were dating now. Not that Ophelia was surprised. She honestly thought they had been dating already.
Ani crossed her arms defensively. "Uh, don't we take care of the people we love?"
Jessica raised her hands in surrender. "Of course. You're right. Trust me, I know it can be a little draining sometimes." Jessica turned around, nodding at Ophelia. "You're the smart one, Ophelia. You're staying single."
A small laugh came from Ophelia's mouth.
"Speaking of single," Ani began. She treaded carefully. "And, now, I don't mean go bringing up anything you're uncomfortable with, but, have you been speaking with Zach at all? As in, do you know what he's been up to?"
Ophelia felt her heart drop at her words. It was so obvious what she was hinting at.
His sudden change and drastic behavior.
"I haven't really been talking to him. Actually, not at all since winter break started." She didn't call him to check up on him. Not after the first time he told her to leave him the fuck alone. "But...I do know what he's been up to. I don't know if we'd be considered the same kind of single."
There was never a time in her whole life of knowing Zach that Ophelia thought he could spiral out of control. But that's exactly what this was. Zach used to have the kind of morals that most high school athletes didn't have. He was the good guy, he stood out from the rest. And Ophelia had loved him for it.
Zach was different now.
After Thanksgiving break, Zach must have finally sobered up enough to realize Ophelia was serious about them breaking up. They were done, for good as far as he knew.
He...did not take the news well.
The bottle never seemed to leave his hand. Neither did his phone. He would constantly be posting pictures of different kind of alcohol on his story, and different parties he went to.
Things got worse when school picked back up. He wasn't just obsessed with drinking anymore. He was obsessed with girls.
Hannah was the first girl Zach ever slept with. Ophelia had been the second.
Ophelia had no idea what number Zach was on now. But she knew it was at least six.
It wasn't like the number mattered. It was the process in which they happened. Drunk one night stands. His behavior reminded her of the toxic athletes that ran the Clubhouse.
It was his attitude that bothered her too. They saw each other at school, that three week time period between thanksgiving break and winter break. He was cocky, and arrogant.
And he would smile at her.
She used to love his smiles, but now they were so devious. She didn't know what true emotion was behind them. She didn't trust his smile anymore.
Especially after the Snapchat video he sent her the first day of winter break.
"He's been acting crazy," Jessica huffed. "Worse than Clay crazy." She paused. "Clay crazy...Clay cray. No, clazy. Actually, I like Clay cray. Ophelia?"
Ophelia nodded with a smile. "Clay cray. I like it."
"And he hasn't sent you any more videos?" Ani asked her.
Ophelia frowned. How did she know about the video?
Ophelia looked at Jessica.
"Shit," Jessica breathed. "Look, I only told her because it was disgusting."
"It did sound horrid," Ani agreed.
Ophelia sighed. "It's fine. It's probably better she knows anyway."
So she can be more careful opening messages from him.
"Speaking of Dempsey," Ani said, quickly changing the subject. She checked the time on her phone. "Where is he? And Alex? And Charlie? And Tony?"
"Hopefully getting the cake," Jessica grumbled.
None of them got cake.
Charlie, however, brought home made cookies. Tony brought soda, and Alex brought chips.
"Those look amazing," Ophelia complimented, going to grab one of Charlie's cookies.
He pulled them back slightly. "Hold on," he told her. "I use chili powder. Can you have chili powder?"
Ophelia frowned. "Why couldn't I have chili powder?"
"Because you-you're..." Charlie felt nervous finishing.
"Because I'm pregnant?" she asked.
"I thought you couldn't have spicy food when's pregnant," he admitted.
Tony came up behind him, grabbing a cookie and laughing. "No way that's true. Trust me, I would be dead if my mom had to lay off the spices."
Charlie's face grew red. "Oh, yeah. You're right. You'd probably know about spicy food best, right?"
Tony snorted. "What does that mean?"
"You're, you know...Mexican..."
"Charlie!" Jessica scolded.
"What?" Charlie sputtered. "He is."
Alex butt in the conversation, saying, "I don't think it's considered spicy food anyway if you can't taste it."
"Well, I'll never know if I can taste it if I never get to try to," Ophelia complained.
Charlie muttered a quick, 'Sorry', and held the Tupperware full of cookies out to her.
She took one, taking a quick bite. She sent Charlie a smile. "Delicious."
"'Delicioso'," Alex commented. "That's how they'd say it in Tony's country."
"I'm sorry," Charlie tried to say again.
Tony and Ophelia shared a laugh.
"Shit," Jessica said suddenly. "I hear a car, it's him."
Charlie set the food down quickly.
"Under the banner!" Jessica instructed. "Everyone, quick!"
Ani and Ophelia quickly followed suit. Tony came up next to Ophelia, putting his arm over her and putting on a smile. Jessica noticed Charlie hadn't moved.
"Jesus Christ, how fucking hard is it? Under the banner, let's go!" She also grabbed Alex out of his seat.
"Fucking smile, alright?" she told them.
There was no way Ophelia couldn't smile at her constant haste.
But all that work was for nothing. Justin didn't walk in. Clay did, along with Tyler.
Everyone groaned.
"Um...hi?" Clay greeted at their clear disappointment.
"For fuck's sake," Jessica complained. "Where's the cake?"
Clay cursed silently. "Shit. I still need to get it."
Throwing her hands in the air, Jessica exhaled loudly. She looked around. "Where the hell did Ani go?"
The girl had disappeared.
"Who the hell knows with that girl," Alex sighed. Alex immediately went back to the table with the food.
"Cookies, nice," Tyler said softly, also going over. In an instant, all the boys surrounded the table.
"Unbelievable," Jessica said at their lack of focus. She turned to Ophelia. "Thank god you never just leave like that. I really need one of the girls with me. I'd drive myself crazy alone with these boys."
Ophelia felt herself standing a little taller. Yeah, one of the girls. She liked the ring to it. Ophelia Tristano, one of the girls.
Again, the sound of a car pulling up was heard through the room.
Jessica had barely taken a seat before bolting back up. "He's here. Everyone, banner, now." There were grumbles in reply. "Smiles, come on."
"Yeah, come on," Ophelia backed her up, as any of the girls would do.
Ophelia threw her hands up alongside Jessica, pointing to the very decorated banner.
As the door opened, they all yelled, "Welcome home!"
But again, they were let down.
Zach came through the door. He smiled at their reactions. "Thank you! Glad to finally be home!"
Ophelia's smile dropped, and her demeanor changed. Great. She thought he ended up sleeping through the party. She wouldn't be that lucky.
Zach laughed as he entered the room. "I'm just kidding, I know it's for Justin."
Ophelia rolled her eyes. Fucking obviously it was for Justin. It had his name on it.
"You're late," Jessica scolded Zach.
He sighed. "I know. If it makes you feel any better, I almost remembered to stop for the cake."
Jessica stepped forward, narrowing her eyes at him. "And drunk?"
Everyone looked over. Zach acted like it was nothing. He placed a friendly hand over her shoulder and admitted. "I...may have pregamed."
"Oh my god," she breathed. Then louder, "What the fuck is wrong with you? This is a dry party for a sober person."
"Yeah, so I knew there wouldn't be any drinks here," he said with a laugh as he grabbed a cookie, shoving it in his mouth. "So fucking good."
"No cake either," Alex grumbled.
"You could've gotten it!" Jessica complained.
"Let's all calm down," Ophelia tried to pipe up. "We don't want to be arguing when Justin gets here."
That would break his heart.
"Yes, let's listen to Ophelia," Zach said enthusiastically. He approached her. Before she could react, he put his hands on both of her shoulders, looking down at her. "Ophelia, Ophelia. How you been today, Ophelia?"
She frowned. She could definitely smell the alcohol on him. Did he ever stop anymore? "I'm fine, Zach."
He patted her shoulder. "That's great." Suddenly, he leaned down, and kissed her on the check.
The kiss was wet, and Ophelia was stunned by it. She pushed him away. "Gross!" she gasped, wiping away the saliva on her skin. He only laughed.
"Zach, leave her the fuck alone," Jessica snapped at him.
"You smell like you spilt vodka all over yourself," Ophelia complained. "You need to go swallow a container of mouth wash."
Alex came up behind him, dragging Zach by the arm. "I'll take him to get some from the bathroom."
"Un-fucking-believable," Jessica whispered to herself.
The door opened again, everyone was less attentive and didn't notice a car pull up again. Not until Mrs. Jensen walked in yelling, "We're here!"
Jessica gasped, quickly standing at attention and putting on a smile. She started clapping. So, in then, everyone started clapping. There was applause by the time Justin finally walked in.
His mother stood smiling as her son received all the proud acknowledgment. Clay greeted him first, hugging him tightly.
"Welcome home," Clay said as they pulled apart.
"Welcome home!" Charlie repeated.
Mr. Jensen came in behind him with pizza.
"Hope everyone brought their appetites."
He had a lot of pizza. He set it all on the empty space in the table. "Dig in, guys."
Justin greeted everyone before eating, thanking them all for the pleasant surprise party. Jessica hugged him, happy to finally be able to actually hold him after all this time.
Ophelia smiled, excited as he neared her. "Welcome home, Justin."
"Thanks, Ophelia," he breathed. "I missed you."
"We all really miss you, Justin," she made sure he knew.
She saw his face drop when he looked her over. Momentarily, she panicked. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, yeah," he said. She watched his eyes fall down her again. "Have you lost weight?"
Mrs. Jensen heard him, butting in. "Justin, don't bother her about that."
"Bother her?" he said. "I'm not bothering her. She should be bigger than this, right?"
"Justin," his mother whispered quietly.
"It's okay," Ophelia laughed. "But, no, Justin. I haven't lost weight. I just don't think I've gained too much yet."
"Which is fine," Mrs. Jensen told her. "Everyone's body looks a little different. No need to point anything out, Justin."
He held his hands up in mock surrender. "I am just saying what needs to be said. This is my godchild, I'm responsible for his well being."
"And I'm responsible for yours," Mrs. Jensen told him. "And mentioning a girls weight is not a good for your safety."
Ophelia laughed lightly. "Trust me, Justin. Everything's fine. I had a checkup right after you left. Everything's good."
Ophelia had gone to the doctor, and was surprised to learn that checkups were expected at least once a month when you were expecting. That was fine with her. She didn't have much to do those days anyway.
The party continued for another hour. Zach did seem like he sobered up, but then he fell asleep on the couch in the room. Justin and Clay's parents turned in, leaving them to their privacy.
"I'm sorry about Zach," Ophelia whispered to Justin.
He laughed. "You guys broke up, you don't have to analogues for him anymore."
"He's a mess nowadays," she said, lowly.
"Yeah...but I love his style. Nice jacket."
Ophelia laughed, glancing over and seeing Zach's nice leather jacket. She told him, "I'm sure it'd look better on you."
Something else caught Ophelia's eye that night. And that something was Tyler. He was always quiet and keeping to himself, but it felt different. He was so stiff and jumpy.
He sat on Clay's bed, barely moving except taking a sip of water. Ophelia went and sat next to him.
"You want any pizza?" Ophelia asked him.
He shook his head. He took another sip of water before saying, "I'm alright."
"Are you alright?" she asked him. "Is anything bothering you?"
Tyler looked like he considered speaking.
Before he could answer, Clay had hurried over to her.
"Hey, Ophelia. Do you mind, uh, doing me a favor?"
Ophelia's eyes shifted between Clay and Tyler. She recognized the panic in his voice. Clay was worried she would find out something she wasn't supposed to.
"...sure," she said, after a moment.
"Great," Clay breathed. "Can you, uh, go buy the cake? Or, just pick it up. It's ordered already."
It was so bad he wanted her to leave?
"Me?"
"Yes. Thank you."
Ophelia glanced around. No one seemed to notice Clay's panic, they were all to deep in conversation.
"...I guess."
"Great," he said, again. "It's paid for. Order for Clay. Thanks a bunch, Ophelia."
Clay rushed her out the door so quickly, she wasn't sure Justin even saw her leave.
*****
The air conditioning in the diner was on high, blowing directly over their table. Goosebumps started to arise on her skin. But she didn't feel them. She barely felt the air. She barely felt anything except the anxiousness that came from knowing someone was staring directly at her.
Ophelia had spent several minutes pretending to stare at a menu. And all that time, she knew he was staring at her and her alone.
Finally, when Ophelia mustered up the nerve, she placed down the menu and looked up.
Scott was the one looking right at her. He tried to play it off though, looking down quickly. But she had seen him. She could see him out of the corner of her eye the entire time.
"Lot of stuff," he said, breaking the silence.
She blinked. "What?"
He looked up at her, clearing his throat. "Lot of stuff. On-On the menu."
"Oh, right." There was a lot of stuff, and she hadn't actually looked at any of it.
The server came by the table. A girl a little older than them. It was the third time she came by.
"Were you guys ready yet? Or do you need a few more minutes?"
Ophelia felt embarrassed as she realized she wouldn't know what to order if Scott said he was ready. Luckily, he wasn't either.
"A few more minutes, if that's okay."
"Sure thing," the girl said. She smiled a bit too much in Ophelia's opinion.
Why did Ophelia come here? Why did she drive here, and get out, and come sit down at a table with Scott Reed? On Thanksgiving Day?
There was no way she would have come if she realized she'd be feeling this anxious. She didn't even know what to say to him. She didn't even know what to do.
She wasn't hungry. How could she tell him she wasn't hungry?
She wouldn't, she decided. She'd force something down.
Did Scott know that she broke up with Zach? No way, how would he know? And then, if he thought they were still together, why he invite her here?
Did he still have a girlfriend? No, she thought she heard they broke up.
Yes, they definitely broke up. His ex-girlfriend got so upset about that she sent that dick pic around.
Shit.
That photo, the one she only saw for a few moments, popped into her head.
Ophelia panicked. She took a glass of water, swallowing a large gulp of it. The picture stayed in her mind, almost like it was engraved.
Shit. Shit.
She tried to think of something else. Scott had looked back at her. His face and arms were so tan. Almost more tan than she was at this time of year. She imagined his tan legs.
She took another sip of water. It went down her throat too fast. She choked slightly.
"You okay?" Scott asked, a smile playing at his lips.
"Yeah." She wiped her mouth. "I'm good. Yeah."
Scott leaned forward slightly. He lowered his voice.
"Can I be completely honest with you?"
She felt her heart drop for a moment. Her eyes fluttered several times.
"...yeah."
Scott smiled. Her eyes fell down his arms, bare except for his dark blue short sleeve tee.
Scott leaned just a bit closer and told her, "I'm actually not hungry at all."
*****
"The order is for Clay. It was supposed to be done hours ago. I'm just a little late."
Irritation filled Ophelia's voice as she spoke to the very unaccomidating baker. They had been going back and forth for almost ten minutes.
"Clay Jensen," she repeated herself.
"No Clay Jensen," the Baker spat, rudely. "No Clay, no Justin, no Jensen. You got the wrong place, lady."
The person waiting behind Ophelia at the bakery was becoming impatient. But so was Ophelia.
She took a deep breath. She tried again, hoping to keep her calm. "This is where they sent me," she explained carefully. "This is the only shop open today, that's why I know it was here."
"It's not here, lady!" the Baker told her, no longer hiding his annoyance. "You can place an order, or you can get out! I got other customers, actual customer!"
"Hurry up already," the man behind her said not so quietly.
She tried to ignore it.
"Please, is there some confirmation code-"
"There's no damn code here!" he yelled at her. "I told you, we don't do email confirmation!"
"For fucks sake, hurry up!" The guy behind her shouted.
Ophelia felt her face get hot. Humiliated and frustrated she tried to say, "Can you please just-"
"I just need my damn order," the guy grumbled. Ophelia suddenly felt jolted. The man had pushed Ophelia away from the counter.
"Hey-"
"If you want to complain, hop in line again," the Baker said, not coming to her aide whatsoever.
Ophelia swallowed her embarrassment. She bit her tongue, and marched out of the store.
She felt her eyes stinging with hot tears as she hurried to her car. Tears of complete shame and embarrassment.
She was picking up a cake. A fucking cake. She couldn't even do that right.
Her hands shook in anger as she turned her car on, and peeled out of the party lot.
She came to a stop light, and couldn't help slamming her hands on the wheel and yelling, "Fuck!"
Life was just so irritating some times.
Fuck that Baker. Fuck that customer. Fuck that whole store.
Ophelia let out another angry groan as she pulled into a superstore. She would just buy a cake here. Fuck that bakery. Justin deserved cake today.
Did they even have good cake at superstores? Sure they did. Cake is cake.
Ophelia grabbed her keys and her purse. She hurried inside the store. She headed to the small bakery section, looking over all of the refrigerated cakes. She decided on an ice cream cake. There was no ice cream at the party, might as well mix it up a bit.
Cake in hand, she turned around, walking quickly to the register because of the cold container.
"Oh, excuse me-" she said to the woman she had to quickly side step from running into.
She froze when she recognized the person in front of her.
Mrs. De La Cruz.
"Oh...hi." Ophelia was at a loss of what to say to her.
It seemed like it took a moment for her to recognize who was in front of her.
And then, finally, "Ophelia."
"Yeah," she breathed. "H-How are you doing?"
Internally, Ophelia knew she couldn't be well. It was Christmas Eve.
Tomorrow would be her first Christmas without her son.
"I'm good, Mija," she breathed. "How are you? How's school?"
Montgomery's mother always had the sweetest voice. That is, when she wasn't screaming at him.
Ophelia stopped herself. No, she wasn't Montgomery's mother anymore. She was just Estella's mother.
"It's been good. Um, my grades have been up...Merry Christmas Eve," Ophelia said, not knowing what else to do.
"Thank you, hun. You too. Am I going to see you tomorrow?"
Ophelia's mouth fell open. What? Tomorrow? Ophelia hadn't spend Christmas with them in two years. Had Estella meant to invite her or something?
"I think I will be staying with my family," she said, awkwardly.
"That's too bad," Mrs. De La Cruz said, sweetly, "Monty was looking forward to having you over."
Ophelia blinked, stunned.
...What the fuck did she just say?
"M-Monty?"
Mrs. De La Cruz stepped closer. "Don't tell him, but I'm a little late for shopping. I'm here to get his gifts."
"You...what?"
"He's starting baseball next month. He's never played. He's so nervous."
Ophelia bit her lip. "Are you okay, Mrs. De La Cruz?"
"Yes, Mija. I'm fine. I just need to get home soon. I hate leaving them alone with their father."
Ophelia took a better look at her, scanning her up and down, focusing on her eyes.
That's what she realized.
Mrs. De La Cruz was high out of her mind.
*****
"We'll just take two milkshakes," Scott told the waitress, finally.
He handed her both menus.
She looked amused, eyeing Scott up and down again. "Alright, it'll be right out."
Scott smiled at her appreciatively.
"So tell me," Scott began to Ophelia, once the waitress was gone. "Why did you tell me you were hungry?"
Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. What could she say? Honestly, she said that because she wanted to go with him. She wanted time with him. But she'd die before she was honest about that.
"I, um, I was then," she tried to say.
Scott laughed. "The water fill you up?"
"Yes."
Not that she even drank much of it. Scott dropped the subject, but the smile stayed on it face.
It was like he knew. He knew she wanted to talk to him. Because he lied about being hungry just so he could talk to her.
"So, where were you?" he asked her. "You don't live over here."
No, she didn't. She kept forgetting that he knew that.
"I was, um, at Justin and Clay's house," she explained to him. "I had dinner with him and his parents. Tony and his boyfriend were there too."
There was an expression he didn't recognize in his eyes. "Oh, that sounds cool. Did you have breakfast with your family or something?"
She felt embarrassed admitting the truth to him. His parents loved him so much. She didn't want him to know her as the girl who was too annoying for her own mother. Another reason she never told anyone else why she was living at Tony's house for a while.
"Yeah," she lied. "I saw them earlier."
He nodded. "Nice, nice." After a moment, he asked, "Are you heading to Zach's later?" His voice was so inconspicuous. It was obvious he wanted to ask that question for a while.
She cleared her throat. "No, actually. I'm not seeing him today."
"I bet he's missing you," he told her. Scott knew he would.
"Maybe," she said. Wanting to quickly get off the subject, she asked, "Where were you? I mean, I saw you twice today. Don't you live closer to Justin?"
Scott noticed she called it Justin's house more than Clay and Justin's house.
His mood visibly shifted.
"I actually was on my home just now. I took a trip up to the cemetery on the hill."
The cemetery Jeff was buried at. And then Hannah was buried at. And then Bryce was buried at. And now...the cemetery Montgomery was buried at.
"You were there the whole time?" she asked him. The span of when she saw him was about three hours.
"No," he told her. "I went twice. The first time I picked up some guys from the team. We went to see Jeff, and Bryce, and Monty." He seemed hesitate not to even say the name. "Jeff's grave was pretty dirty since his parents moved out of town. I ended up going back."
She was surprised. "You cleaned it?"
"I just brought a broom and a rake," he said. "That was it. Bryce's mom paid extra to keep his made up. Um, Monty's was nice. He still doesn't have his headstone in. But you probably saw that."
Ophelia shrunk back into the seat.
The waitress came by, dropping off the milkshakes. "Let me know if you need anything else," she said pleasantly.
"Thank you," Scott said. "Looks great."
Ophelia waited until they were alone again to admit, "I haven't gone to see his grave yet."
There was a pause.
"Oh, right," Scott said, shaking his head. "I don't know why I-"
"It's not that I don't want to," Ophelia said quickly. "I just...I can't. Not yet."
"I get it," Scott said. "It was weird for me at first. Especially with everything they're saying. I-I still can't believe it."
Ophelia wouldn't have either if she wasn't forced to know the truth. Montgomery killed Bryce.
"It just feel like they're lying," Scott said. "Monty loved Bryce. I know he did. Even in the end."
"Just because he loved him doesn't mean he couldn't hurt him," Ophelia said abruptly.
Scott felt a surge of shame. He looked down at the milkshake.
She didn't mean to make him feel bad, so she said, "But it did feel unbelievable at first."
"I can't talk to the guys about it," Scott said. "Every time I bring it up, they start bashing Clay. But I know Clay didn't do it. I keep wanting to ask about the girl they say he 'assaulted'-"
Ophelia froze.
"-but I don't know how to bring it up to anyone. I don't want anyone to think I'm saying she's lying, but Monty hasn't even mentioned a girl since-" He stopped again. It was obvious what his meaning was. Montgomery hadn't mentioned being interested in anyone since her.
Then again, Scott didn't seem to know about the boys Montgomery had been interested in.
"Can I ask..." Scott started. "Do you know anything about it?"
The moment ended. Since they walked in, Ophelia seemed to have forgotten about what happened to her. But now she so vividly remembered.
Montgomery assaulted her, and then he killed Bryce because of it. There were two new graves Scott had to visit because of her. How could she let herself forget that?
Scott stared at her so carefully.
At Montgomery's memorial, Ophelia told him she knew nothing about it. She knew what he had been asking. Was it her? Did Montgomery assault her?
Ophelia told him 'no' that day. The way he stared at her, it was clear he was terrified of her rebuking that statement. He wasn't asking to see if she knew anything, he was asking to make sure she didn't. To make sure she hadn't lied before.
But she had lied. She lied about such a big thing.
But Scott didn't deserve to know that. He was the happy one. He deserved to stay that way.
"No," Ophelia said quietly, "I don't know anything about it."
*****
When the car pulled into the parking lot, right next to Ophelia, she hopped out.
"I'm so sorry," she told them. "I-I didn't know who else to call."
Pushing the door open, Ophelia watched Scott step out of the driver's seat.
"No worries. I was actually driving when you called."
Ophelia huffed. "Yeah, probably driving home. It's Christmas Eve."
Scott stepped up closer. Ophelia self consciously crossed her arms over her chest. She swore he looked more toned than the last time she saw him.
"Yeah, Christmas Eve. Meaning you shouldn't be waiting by yourself in a dark parking lot."
She sighed. "It's barely dark."
Actually, it had been dark since she got there.
"I'm really sorry," she repeated. "I don't know what to do. She's in there buying gifts for Monty. I don't want to have her spend all that money she can't afford to lose. But-But I also can't-"
Ophelia hesitated. She felt her face getting hot.
Ophelia couldn't go in there, and tell the truth. Montgomery was dead. Stop buying Christmas gifts for your son, he's dead.
"I can't take it away," Ophelia concluded.
She couldn't take away the alternate reality she wished she lived in too.
"I get it," Scott said. "I'll take care of it."
She saw his eyes flash into her car, his sight setting on the cake in the passenger seat.
"That's for Justin, right? He's back from rehab today?" Before she could ask how he knew that, he said, "I'm in the football group chat. They were all congratulating him."
The statement confused her. "Yeah, he, um, just got back. Wait, why are you in those chats?"
Scott shrugged, a smile cascading on his face. "Reasons."
Ophelia found his tone mysterious. She chose to put her wonder aside for the bigger picture. "I'll wait out here," she told him. "In case she needs a ride."
He waved his hand. "Go see Justin. I'm sure they've got a party going on."
She frowned. "No way. I can't leave you, or her."
"Believe it or not, O, I used to be one of Justin's best friends. I'm familiar with this kind of drug usage. I can handle it."
His words surprise her. He was used to this? Did Justin used to hallucinate? Forget where he was? Scott Reed was used to drug usage?
Ophelia felt like she had to keep reminding herself he was a college athlete, formally high school athlete. He was popular, no doubt he still is at his college now. She knew him for years. He got drunk, he did drugs. Well, weed. Maybe other stuff, she wasn't sure. She recalled the time they spent together in the clubhouse. Sheri convinced her to go so they could figure out the door combination. He was eager to smoke, even more eager to give her something she could smoke.
Also so eager to please her.
It was hard trying to remember he was a partier, and not just the kind blue-eyed boy she saw him as.
"I'll drive her home if she needs a ride," he told Ophelia. "It'll be safer for me to do it anyway."
But she didn't want to leave.
If she was being honest, she wanted to go back inside and find Mrs. De La Cruz, and ask her about Montgomery. In her world, where she thought he was still alive, what would he be doing?
If he hadn't died, he would be in jail. That was reality. Ophelia didn't want that, she wanted his mother's reality. She wanted to think Montgomery was at home. She wanted to imagine it really was his freshmen year, before joining the baseball team, before anything went wrong.
What Ophelia would give to go back to before anything went wrong.
Then again, if things went a different way, and Montgomery had never made the mistakes she made, would she be receiving the pleasure that is the current company of Scott Reed?
Ophelia winced.
Not that the company compared to Montgomery's life. She hated herself for thinking of that.
"I'll let you know if anything goes wrong," he told her. "Go get Justin his cake. He sure as fuck deserves it."
Slowly, Ophelia found herself agreeing. "Okay."
As Ophelia opened her door, Scott suddenly said, "Its lucky you didn't still have my number blocked, right?"
*****
The subject was quickly changed, as soon as Scott saw how uncomfortable Ophelia was becoming.
He let out a nervous laugh. "It's weird to miss someone who was so annoying."
Ophelia chuckled lightly. Then again, that's why Montgomery's death was so painful for his teammates. He used to be everywhere, and his absence was obvious.
"So, how's Liberty?" Scott asked. "Is the football team any good?"
Scott hadn't been able to go to a game that year. Ophelia hadn't gone to one since Homecoming.
"I didn't go to any Liberty games," she admitted. "Only Hillcrest."
"Oh yeah, you went there," he said. "Wow, that feels like...a millions years ago."
"Tell me about it," Ophelia breathed.
"I heard Coach Kerba was looking for some extra help," Scott mentioned. "He said, um, that Zach hadn't been going to practice?"
"He's still hurt," Ophelia said quickly. She felt the need to defend him. "He feels useless."
"I'm sure he wouldn't be," Scott said. She saw him straighten a bit. "How has he been with you?"
Ophelia hesitated. "What do you mean?"
Scott wanted to know if he had been kind. The last time he saw Zach, he was abandoning her at a funeral. Scott couldn't imagine him being more supportive after that. Zach was sweet. He always had been. But Montgomery brought out the worst in him.
Jealousy ruined Zach Dempsey.
Scott wouldn't pretend it didn't bring out the worse in him either. Sophomore year he was cheated on, and he was so angry he let Bryce convince him to scratch his ex-girlfriend's car. He regretted it the next day, realizing she wasn't worth his stress. But he still did it out of anger.
But Scott learned to handle envy. He still felt it.
Especially as he sat across from Ophelia, watching her laugh, listening to her speak. He felt like he was receiving some kind of reward for the holiday. Zach could do this every single day if he wanted to.
There was no waiting for the perfect moment for Zach to talk to Ophelia. He could see her anytime. He could take her to a restaurant anytime. He got to hear her talk anytime he wanted to.
Yes, Scott still felt jealousy. Ophelia was with Zach, so he practically lived in it.
But why wasn't Zach the one taking her out that night? Why wasn't he spending the holiday with her?
"He's been better?" Scott finally asked. "Since the funeral?"
Ophelia recalled the way he walked out.
"Yes," she told him. "He's been alright."
"That's good," he said. "I'm happy for you too."
Under the table, Scott felt himself digging his nails into his skins as she clenched his fists, trying not to show an once of anything other than acceptance.
"Thank you." Ophelia said.
That was the end of that conversation. Ophelia knew he was happy for them. She didn't have to say anything else. He could go back to school happy for them.
She didn't need to say anymore.
She could have left it at that.
So why did she suddenly say, "Me and Zach broke up last week."
*****
Nothing was going according to plan.
A plan supposed to be simple.
Montgomery deserved to be in jail. Send him to jail. Accuse him of Bryce's murder. Never tell anyone.
Then, Montgomery died, and the plan changed a bit.
Say Montgomery killed Bryce. No one can prove them wrong. Keep the case closed.
Then, Tyler got arrested.
Tyler Down, the boy who almost committed a mass shooting. Also, the boy who knew who really killed Bryce.
Tyler got called in because the police found the guns he almost hurt people with. He claimed he got away with it, and they let him go, but Clay wasn't so sure.
If he went down for guns, would he snitch on everyone else to keep himself out of trouble?
"Tyler would never do that," Clay said aloud.
They were still all in Justin and Clay's room. Only, Charlie and Tyler left. Charlie took Tyler home early, and the rest of them went about discussing them.
"How can you be sure?" Tony asked, irritated he wasn't given this information sooner.
"I know Tyler," Alex butt in. "He's, like, my friend now. He wouldn't give us up. That's not him."
"Maybe he's tricking you," Tony suggested. "Ever think of that?"
Jessica sat on Justin's bed, next to Justin, holding his hand. "It's dangerous. If he tells them anything, I'm an accessory to murder."
"We all are," Justin pointed out.
Alex let out a quiet sigh. "Not me."
It was silent for a moment.
Then Alex added, "But I still believe he wouldn't turn us in, even if it meant saving himself."
Jessica breathed, "So we just do nothing?"
From the couch, a voice spoke, "There's nothing to do."
The voice belonged to Zach. He laid sprawled on the couch, his eyes closed until the conversation slowed down.
"I say 'fuck it'" he said, proudly. "It's out of our hands."
Jessica scoffed. "Jesus fucking Christ, Zach. Dry out."
Zach's only response was flipping her off.
She shook her head, and went back to ignoring him. "What about your dad, Alex. Did he-?"
They all heard a car pulling up.
"Shit," Jessica hissed. "It must be Ophelia."
Justin perked up at the name. He looked at his brother. "I thought you said she went home."
Clay said, "She was gone for so long, I thought maybe. I sent her to get the cake mom ordered that we never picked up. The one at the bakery across town."
A feeling of guilt washed over him. "Clay, we didn't have one ordered. They said they don't take orders unless it's same day pick up. We were just gonna grab one from the store or something."
"Oh..." Clay muttered, scratching the back of his head. "I guess thats why it took so long."
Tony rushed to hold open the door as Ophelia finally got to it. She smiled as she brought in the ice cream cake.
"I'm here!" she announced, with a winning smiling. "And I have ice cream cake!"
"Fuck yes!" Zach said, hopping up from the couch.
He was the first one there as Ophelia set it up on the table, slicing it in ten piece.
"Where's Tyler and Charlie?" she asked, looking. She then noticed the grim expression on everyone's face. "Did something happen?"
"No," Clay said, quickly. "We've just been...chatting."
Ophelia bit her lip. She dared to say, "I know about Tyler, guys. I was there at Spring Fling. Is something going on with him?"
Tony glanced around. He wanted to tell her, but was unsure if anyone else would. Maybe he should tell her later, in private.
But Ani registered what she said as an opportunity. What if she could spin all their sneaking around into making Ophelia think it's been about Tyler this whole time?
She stood up quickly. "Yes," Ani told her. "We know you know. We just thought you didn't want to be involved anymore. You said you were done, we've been trying to respect that."
Tony was shocked at how easily the lies flew out of that girl's mouth. Then again, that's all anyone in that group did nowadays.
Ophelia felt slightly relieved. Maybe this secret group, the one that so evilly secluded her, wasn't such a secret group at all? Maybe they really were trying to set boundaries like Ophelia asked them to?
"Well..." she started, "...if something's really wrong, I can try to help."
"Absolutely," Ani told her. "Right now, we're worried because they found Tyler's guns in the lake where Tony disposed them."
Ophelia turned to Tony, shocked.
When Ophelia turned, Clay took that chance to whisper to Ani, "What are you doing?"
To which Ani replied, "Getting her off our backs."
"They can't trace it to you, can they?" Ophelia asked Tony. All she felt was worry for her friend.
"No," he told her, confidently. "But, they did trace it to Tyler. Not the guns, but the bag they were in. He went to the station today." She gasped. "He says he was able to get out of it, saying it was stolen. But we're not sure he's telling the truth. And we don't know if he'd turn us in."
"Well, he won't turn you in," Ophelia said confidently. "He's our friend. He wouldn't do that."
Zach, who was taking his second slice of ice cream cake as they all spoke, said, "Ophelia he was going to shoot you. I'm sure snitching isn't the one thing against his morals."
Ophelia rolled her eyes at him, watching him wipe his hands on his pants. "Use a napkin, Zach."
"We just have to wait and see what happens," Ani concluded.
Justin jumped up, trying to lighten the mood. "Well, I'm gonna have some cake. It looks delicious."
She cleared her throat and quickly apologized. "It's not the one you ordered, I'm sorry. They said they didn't have it."
Clay stayed silent, embarrassed by his mistake.
But Zach immediately said, "It's okay. Turns out they never had one ordered."
Ophelia's good expression dropped in an instant. She took there, silent for a moment.
"B-But this one is way better," Justin tried to say.
Ophelia just nodded.
Quietly, she said, "I'm glad."
The party, which was now a quieter hang out, went on for about an hour longer before people began leaving. Tony, then Alex, then Clay took Ani home.
Ophelia could sense Jessica wanted alone time with Justin, so she decided to depart as well.
"I'll walk you out," Justin offered.
It was a short distance, Ophelia didn't know why he would need to.
What she didn't know, was he was never going to let her walk to her car in the dark again. He wouldn't have let her go to the store alone if he knew that's where she was headed.
"Thank you for coming," Justin told her. "And thanks for the cake. I'll pay you back for it."
"Don't worry about it," she told him. "It's a gift." Ophelia glanced back to her car. "Actually, I do have a gift for you." Unlocking her door, she reached inside, pulling out a small envelope.
"Come on, O. My gift is you coming at all."
"Well, I think you deserve more," she told him. She then clarified. "This isn't your Christmas gift. You get that tomorrow."
He took the envelope with her. As he opened it he said, "So, you're still coming for dinner tomorrow?"
"Of course," she said. "That's when your getting your actual Christmas gift."
He pulled out the contents of the envelope while he said, "You don't need to be getting me all this stuff. Trust me, my parents have been getting me more than enough." It was true, he was becoming absolutely spoiled.
Justin looked at the gift before him. A Monet's gift car. His eyes widened at the amount. $100.
"Fucking Christ," he muttered. "Shit, this is way too much."
He tried to hand it back.
"You're lucky I didn't get you more," she told him, refusing to take it.
"You know I work there, right? I get discounts anyway."
"Yes, you work there. You also waste all your money there. This is to help you save for once."
Justin looked at the card that came with it. He stifled a laugh. "Really?"
"Really, what?"
"Did you read the gift card?"
Ophelia admitted, "No, why?"
He showed it to her.
'Coffee. Everyone's favorite addiction'.
She had just give a former addict a card with an addiction joke on it?
"H-Holy shit," Ophelia sputtered. "I didn't see that. Fuck, Justin. I'm sorry."
He just laughed. "It's funny. It's true. Fucking rather have a coffee addiction then coke, right?"
She breathed, "I'm sorry, it's stupid."
"I'll see you tomorrow, O," he said, the smile still on his face.
When he left, and Ophelia started the car. She began pulling out. She breakers quickly, jolting the car as someone started knocking on her passenger window.
Zach stood right outside the passenger door.
Ophelia put the car into park, rolling down the window.
"What do you want, Zach?"
He had nearly scared her half to death.
Zach leaned on the passenger window, putting his arm over the side.
"I think I'm a little drunk."
"Yeah, I noticed. You came drunk to a sober party, you weirdo."
She regretted her words, even more when he laughed.
"Weirdo? Are you in seventh grade?"
"Zach, I have to get home," she told him.
"So do I," he said. He nodded to the empty passenger seat. "Can I get a ride?"
His car was parked right next to them. She frowned. How had he gotten here?
"Did you drive after drinking?" Her voice was shocked and disappointed.
"It didn't kick in until I got here," he swore. "Can I get a ride, please?"
His disoriented state was obvious. Not completely drunk, maybe just tipsy. But she didn't want to risk making him drive. She would never live with herself if he crashed trying to drive home.
For Jeff Atkins, she unlocked her doors.
He hopped in. "Thanks, O."
"You owe me big time," she huffed, pulling out and making her way down the street.
"Yes, I do," he said, chuckling to himself. "Feel free to cash in anytime. Or, matter of fact, I can give you actual cash. Do you want cash?"
He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket. It was flushed with cash as he opened it. He was smiling smugly.
"You want one hundred...two hundred...three hundred..."
"I don't want you money," she snapped at him.
"You're a girl, of course you do."
She groaned in disgust. "Is that how you end up taking so many girls home? You pay them by the hour?"
The smugness didn't leave. "No, no. They get paid in pleasure."
God, what happened to him? Had he always been like this? Ophelia never knew him to talk like this, but maybe it's how he talked to the boys on his team. That's what Marisa seemed to think, anyway.
She rolled her eyes. "I never got that payment when I was with you."
She knew he used to be sensitive to the fact he never made her finish when they were together. She thought brining it up would humble him again.
It didn't.
Zach smirked. "Things have changed. Maybe we should try again sometime."
His tone was joking, but his eyes were serious. He was so smug, and so confident. It annoyed her.
But he was handsome. He was muscular and tall, and Ophelia would be lying if she said she never felt a hint of jealousy when catching him flirting with another girl at school. They would swoon for him, and Ophelia would understand why.
Often, she would have to remind herself of how they were so obviously bad together. It didn't work, no matter how much she wanted it to.
His jacket made him look extra handsome, and it made him look rich. She imagined how many girls he picked up for it.
When she pulled up to his house, she had already made up her mind for her payment.
"I want your jacket," she told him.
He chuckled.
"I'm serious."
"My jacket?" he laughed. "The fuck you want my jacket for?"
"That's my payment," she said. "Or else I'll drive you back to Justin's house."
Zach looked at her, trying to figure out whether or not she was serious. She was.
He let out another laugh, slowly taking it off.
"Dry clean only," he told her. "Don't get it wet."
"Sure," she said, dryly.
As he hopped out of the car, he finished taking it off. She looked away as his shirt pulled up, exposing part of his torso.
He smiled as he handed it to her. "Merry Christmas Eve, O. I'll see you tomorrow."
Ophelia frowned.
Unfortunately, she would.
*****
"You and Zach broke up? Shit that's...That's awful."
Ophelia crossed her arms, leaning back.
"You can at least pretend you think that's true," she muttered, unimpressed with his tone.
"No, I'm serious," he tried again. He bit his tongue, trying to hurt himself, trying anything to keep down the smile creeping at the corner of his lips. "I'm so sorry."
Ophelia huffed. He was clearly smiling. Couldn't he pretend to be sad for her sake?
They had been a great couple. Everyone should be sad.
"Are you okay?" he asked her. Did she need a shoulder to cry on?
"I've been better," she whispered to herself. She played with the spoon in her milkshake.
He wanted to know so desperately what happened. What caused them to break up? What had been the breaking point? Personally, he thought it should have happened already.
It had to have to do with Montgomery somehow. Zach must not have been sensitive enough. He must have been hard to handle. He didn't care for Montgomery, he didn't understand.
Scott understood. He straightened in his seat. If Ophelia need to talk with someone who understood her grieve, he would.
"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her.
Her immediate answer was, "No."
Ophelia didn't know why she even brought it up. She didn't want to speak about it. But for some reason, she just yearned for him to know.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
Because she didn't want to give too much away. She didn't want him knowing how awful her life had become.
They sat in silence for a few minutes, finishing the milk shakes.
"How is school?" she tried asking. "Like, college life. Is it fun?"
Scott spent the next few minutes describing his daily life to her. It was all so exciting. Baseball, classes, parties. He was in a frat. Of course he was. Look at him. He could be the star of a college movie.
"I miss high school, though," he told her. "Less responsibility."
He didn't even mention girls, but Ophelia knew he must be seeing a lot of them. He was attractive in high school, even more attractive now.
You would think he had peaked in high school, but he just seemed to be getting better and better.
When they were done, Ophelia insisted on paying her own bill. As they walked out of the restaurant, she saw him get stopped by the waitress. She felt a rush of envy as she made her way to her car, not stopping with him. She knew the waitress only had words for Scott, not her.
Scott hurried to catch up with Ophelia again.
"Hey, hold on," he tried to say. His confidence wasn't as high as before. Ophelia was single now. He felt like he had so much more to prove to her. "What are you doing tomorrow?"
"Oh, um, I don't know." She had no idea.
"Do you go Black Friday shopping?" he asked her.
She thought back. She did a few times. "I guess. A little bit."
"I have some friends at the electronic store. They let me in the employee entrance. You should come, it'll be fun."
Tomorrow. He wanted to see her tomorrow. Ophelia felt like that was so soon. And yet, it felt a million years away to him.
"Do a lot of people come with you?" she asked.
He scratched the back of his head. "No, actually. Usually no one." He quickly added, "But I think it'd be fun. We could, uh, go get something to eat after. You know, when we're actually hungry." He laughed nervously at the end.
Shopping with Scott? Eating with Scott?
He sounded like the perfect boyfriend out of teen romance movie.
But Ophelia had a boyfriend up until last week. She loved him. How could she just toss him away like nothing? She said she didn't want to be a girlfriend, how could she act like one with Scott less than a week later?
"That sounds like fun," she told him, honestly. She swallowed. "But...I can't."
Scott reacted quickly, "Just as friends. Not, like, a date or anything."
Ophelia winced. She looked up at him, telling him honestly, "I can't be your friend, Scott."
Scott tried to say, "I promise I'm not gonna try anything-"
"I don't want to be your friend, Scott."
He fell silent.
Before he could say anything else Ophelia continued, "And you don't want to be mine either. You don't have to pretend you do."
Scott winced.
"I'm sorry I came here," she whispered. She felt so guilty. "I'm sorry if I led you on in anyway-"
"You didn't lead me on," he said. "I just...I enjoyed your company, okay? Can you blame me for wanting more of it?"
"I know what you actually want," she told him.
Scott frowned. "What do I want?"
"You want to be more than friends," she said quietly.
"I'm not gonna force you into anything," Scott said. "I'm not gonna try to trick you in a date. I just want to see you more." Scott exhaled softly. "What's so bad about that?"
Ophelia bit her lip, looking away.
"Ophelia-"
"Because maybe that's what I want too," she told him.
Scott fell back. He took a deep breath. That had been all he wanted to hear for so long. But the way she said it made him feel so small.
"Why are you acting like that's such a bad thing? I mean, if we both want it-"
Ophelia breathed, "I-I just broke up with Zach."
"I know," Scott said. "I'd never rush you into anything."
"How can you say that?" Ophelia said. She gestured between the two of them. "What is this right now?"
"We're just spending time together," Scott tried to say.
"I started dating Zach too soon after Monty," Ophelia admitted. "That-That was my fault. I'm the one that caused the problems in that relationship. I'm doing what the guys at school made fun of me for, switching from teammate to teammate. That's not who I want to be. I don't want to just jump into a new relationship the second I end another one."
"I'm not saying you have to," Scott told her.
Ophelia sniffed slightly, running his fingers through her hair. Looking back at Scott, she admitted to him, "If we keep seeing each other, I'm gonna want to."
Scott hung his head. The worst way he could hear the best thing in the world.
"I mean...I can wait," he told her.
Ophelia glanced at the restaurant. "That waitress in there. Did she give you her number?"
Scott didn't see the point in asking. "I didn't take it."
"Why?" Ophelia asked. When Scott fell silent she asked, "Because of me?"
"Why does that upset you?"
Because that waitress was so pretty, and she would stay that way. Ophelia had a limited amount of time before she grew from her pregnancy. Scott claims to like her now, but in a few months? Once she learns she's pregnant and sees the clear changes? He won't be dating the pretty girl he fell for. Ophelia felt so ugly from the changes already.
"You shouldn't be blowing people off because you think you and me might work out one day," she said. "We don't even know if we would work well together."
"We will," he said, confidently. "But we don't have to now. We can wait. As long as you need to. But why would I bother with someone else when I know it'll work with you?"
"We don't know that!" Ophelia said. "I thought me and Monty would work. Then I thought me and Zach would work. Neither of them did."
"You don't want to try?"
"Of course I do!" Ophelia said. "But if we try now, and I still haven't moved on from Zach, it'll ruin it. We'll have lost our chance."
"So I'll wait-" he tried to say again.
"No," she said, sternly. "I don't want to belong to anybody."
Scott fell back. "I didn't say you'd belong to me."
Ophelia took a deep breath. "I need to be on my own. I need to be completely single. I can't be...promised to you. If I make you wait for me, I'm never gonna feel completely free."
Scott nodded wordlessly. Slowly, he stopped away from her. "Okay," he said, lowly.
"Okay," she breathed.
"I guess I'll just see you when I see you," he said, softly.
Ophelia got into her car.
"Yeah...I guess so."
And even then, after turning him away, she hoped that next time would be soon.
*****
Ophelia must have read the text message ten times over.
'Mrs. De La Cruz home safe. Convinced her to buy Monty's gifts in the morning instead. But she should wake up normal tomorrow morning.'
The text message comforted her beyond belief. Mrs. De La Cruz would most likely wake up not remembering going to the store. She would know Montgomery was dead without having to relearn it in a tragic way. Ophelia made a mental note to call Estella in the morning to make sure her mother was already. She already texted her about the incident at the store.
But that was not the text she had reread over and over. No, that one was far different. It came only three minutes later.
'What time for breakfast tomorrow?'
She stared at the message a few times before deciding and writing back, '8 works for me.'
Ophelia was single. Single and waiting for no one. But she had been too weak for her own no contact rules.
'Okay. Merry Christmas Eve. See you tomorrow.'
Ophelia smiled.
Fortunately, she would.