The sound of the shower running awoke Khushi from a deep, well-rested sleep. She sat up and blinked her eyes to adjust to the sunlight peeping in through the poolside. Instinctively, she rested a possessive hand on her stomach, where there was a visible bulge that had begun to show. She was close to 6 months pregnant and finally, the pregnancy began to feel a lot more real. Her doctor had said that her baby probably won't be able to hear a lot of things from outside yet, but it could distinctly hear and recognize its mother's voice. Ever since then, Khushi liked the idea of being able to talk to her baby.
She also felt a lot better with regard to sickness and she even seemed to have put on a little weight. Her face got a little rounder, her cheeks plumped in a healthy way. She had always been thin - though slender is a word her husband would have liked to use - but had been painfully so during the first trimester of her pregnancy. Her balance improved, and she was also beginning to feel hunger.
On the other hand, her clothes began to feel a little tighter, her breasts which had been a steady B suddenly seemed to not fit into her bras anymore and her shoes were suddenly smaller on her feet. Tiredness was common but it didn't feel like it had overtaken her life.
But if there was something bothering her, then it was the feeling that somehow her husband had distanced himself from her. While the rational part of her mind dismissed her worries, the irrational part didn't stop from adding to her stress. As a result, if she was all positivity and radiance one day then it was gloom and sadness the next. In addition, her study and experience as a counseling psychologist led her to overthink to an extent that the worry had become a persistent nag in her brain. She had seen numerous cases where couples felt distant during and after pregnancy with some husbands even cheating because they did not feel wanted.
She had to remind herself that Arnav would never ever do something like that even if he met countless beautiful women almost every day.
She frowned. What was she thinking? This was not her.
She had to remind herself of all the ways her husband attended to and cared for her. Arnav had been the center of her being before all this happened but for a while now, she had been a little preoccupied with herself. He was used to her fuzzing about him so did he feel left out now?
Arnav was a man with a high sex drive. And in the time she had known him, she had also understood that he integrally used it to emotionally bond with her. She couldn't say she hadn't enjoyed it because he had never been a selfish lover.
But the last she remembered of their intimacy was the moment of shared passion while he had fed her the other day. They hadn't even made love for days before that. Moments like those had become so rare these days that it had felt almost new and for the first time in days, Khushi had felt normal. But then the knock on the door had ruined it. Arnav had then been taken over by a phone call. Khushi remembered nothing after except waking up in her bed the following morning. Their intimacy had been an integral part of who they were and she missed it.
For a while, all she had ever done whenever she had a little free time was sleep. But now that she began to feel better, it seemed as if Arnav had stopped trying. She didn't know if that was all in her head.
Just at the moment, Arnav walked in from the bathroom, fresh from his shower, wearing a soft cream sweater and jeans. His hair was wet and tousled and he looked every bit the sophisticated man that he was.
"Good morning," he said stopping short when he found her awake and walked over to the mirror to get dressed.
"Good morning." She repeated self-consciously. She wasn't sure how she must be looking in comparison to his groomed self. She felt a little disappointed that he hadn't kissed her. Didn't he find her attractive anymore?
"Did I fall asleep in the poolside yesterday?"
"Yes."
She absentmindedly rubbed her stomach as if taking comfort from the baby's presence to alleviate the fears that were gnawing at her. She decided to do the one thing she always encouraged people to do. Communicate.
"You can't be really enjoying this," she said, her voice almost inaudible but Arnav sure heard it. He was in the midst of combing his hair, which he finished and promptly came to her side.
"What are you talking about?"
"You didn't even kiss me." She didn't look up at his face as she said it.
"What?"
She jerked at his tone but sat still, still not looking up and Arnav put a hand to her chin, lifting her face up towards him.
"Look at me while you're talking to me. Now repeat what you just said."
He stared at the slight quiver of her lips which barely moved as she said, "I said you didn't even kiss me. Don't you want to—
"Damn it," he said raggedly before pressing his mouth to hers tugging fiercely at her lips, upper after lower, using his tongue to play with hers. Khushi let him take it, sighing in contentment at the feel of him, the masculine scent of him that clinched to her nostrils as she curled her arm around him. One kiss ended but before he could kiss her again, Khushi had a brief glimpse at his face and saw that he was rather irritated.
She pulled away to say, "You're angry."
"Of course I am. I was only getting ready because we have an appointment. I was going to wake you once I showered but you had already woken. Yes, I didn't kiss you but it was not with an underlying cause. Stop applying your psychology laws to our relationship."
She had forgotten all about her doctor appointment. But he had remembered it. Every month it was the day they got to meet their baby. And they both looked forward to it.
"Arnavji... it's just that... we haven't even... it's been months."
"What? Had sex?"
A wild, answering blush spread along the contours of her face.
"So what? What has happened to you?"
"I... don't want you to feel ignored."
"Khushi, I'm beginning to feel insulted. Are you implying that just because we haven't had sex in months, I don't want you anymore? While you were coping with all the changes while carrying our baby, I am so selfish that I don't see what you're going through? I have had a busy 2 months both personally and with regard to work. Don't you know how busy it is during the fashion weeks and the weeks leading to it?"
She nodded. He had been busy, barely managing his time at office and with her. He had also been traveling the past month first to New York, then London, Milan and with Paris pending next week.
What had she been thinking?
He drew her attention back to him from her thoughts by holding her arms in a slight grip, "Do you think I'm so shallow that my only use of you is for sex? If that were it, I would have tired a long time ago." His tone moderately softened looking at her obvious distress when he continued saying, "But that's not the point. You had no problem insisting that we not have sex until after we are married. You weren't scared then that I'd leave you when everyone else was. Where has that faith gone? I am the man who waited more than a year before our marriage to have sex with you. If I can do that then I can wait a few months."
"I... I am so sorry. I don't know why I keep having negative thoughts about us. As if... my pregnancy has changed everything and it has. My time... your time... The baby will now take precedence in everything. I know you love us but— she stopped her ramble abruptly aware that she wasn't making any sense with her incomplete thoughts.
She felt so stupid for inviting this upon herself when they could have been happily off to see their baby. She willingly went in when he silently opened his arms and Khushi sighed. "I am so sorry, Arnavji."
He slowly rubbed her back as he said, "Khushi, I understand you're scared. I was the one who always thought marriage will change our relationship for the worst. You are the one who taught me otherwise. So I am going to tell you what I have learned. It's okay to be scared. You know you wanted this baby more than I did and I'm not comparing our feelings in anyway whatsoever. But that doesn't mean you can't have fears. They're natural. Honestly, don't you think I'm scared? I'm terrified. I don't even know what kind of a husband I am—
"The best kind," she interjected.
"Thank you. But again that's not the point. We're bringing a new life into the world for which we will be responsible. In every single way until they find their own ways. And that is pretty terrifying. I sometimes don't know how I am going to do it but Khushi remember what I told you once? That I know you'd help me be a good father? I know we will help each other be better parents. Our child will come into this world knowing he/she is immensely loved and grow up with the same kind of love. That kind of faith I have in us."
How did he always know the right things to say?
"You are my solace. Never change. Don't think I am doubting you. Us. I'm sorry if I have become clingy. I don't feel like myself most of the times."
Khushi felt guilty and grateful all at once but Arnav lay her fears down when he said, "Always come to me if something is bothering you. And never think I don't want you— His lips were everywhere on her face, jaw, neck as he talked. His mouth was on her throat and she could barely make out what he was saying against her collarbone. "I want you wreathing in pleasure not squirming with nausea or half dead with tiredness. I not only want to kiss you but so much more. I'm dying to have my hands all over you."
"But my body is changing," she put forth nervously.
"Then it's time I reacquainted myself with it. Don't you think I have noticed all the changes?" He rasped in a husky voice. "Weren't you the one that said sabr ka phal meetha hota hai?"
Khushi remembered it all too well. She also remembered what it was like to make love after marriage after all the wait. She couldn't stand straight for a few days.
Arnav caught on what she was thinking about and said in a warm and inviting voice, "When it's time for payback, I'll collect it with interest."
The route to the hospital was congested with traffic as Arnav and Khushi made their way to their appointment. Khushi had made haste in getting ready but that was still not good enough. They were due at 10.00 and it was already 35 minutes past 9.
"I was hoping to avoid this," Arnav murmured as he slowly guided the car through the slow moving traffic.
Khushi frowned, berating herself. "This is because of me. I'm —
"Shut up, Khushi. Stop apologizing, will you?"
"Should I call the hospital and see if they can postpone the appointment?" she asked looking into her bag for her phone.
"I don't think that's necessary. Once I take the next right, we should reach in about 5 minutes."
"Okay," she uttered not really sure how long before they actually took the right.
At that moment, Arnav's phone began to ring which sounded through the car's sound system as it was synced. The display showed that it was Khushi's mom calling.
Khushi, who had been looking out the window to gauge the traffic didn't see who the caller was and assumed it must be a work call.
"Khushi? It's your mom," Arnav called. But the ringing stopped just then and Khushi asked, "why didn't you pick up?"
"I'm sure she isn't calling to talk to me. Where's your phone?"
That much was true. Garima barely managed to utter a few words in Arnav's presence. She had grown over her reservations about him long back but she found him rather intimidating even today. Khushi retrieved her phone from her bag and sure enough there were missed calls.
Arnav smirked but didn't say anything.
Before Khushi could call her mother back, Arnav's phone rang again.
"Haan, Amma," Khushi said attending it over the car's sound system. But she soon wished she hadn't.
"Khushi, did you reach the hospital?"
"Nahi, Amma. We're almost there. Stuck in traffic."
"Acha theek hai. I only called to remind you to talk to your doctor about options for your delivery in Lucknow. Since we don't have any contacts—
"Amma." Khushi rushed to stop her mother from saying anymore. "We're reaching the hospital. I'll call you after, ok?"
"But did you hear what I said? Don't forget. You're already 6 months along," Garima insisted.
"Yes, yes. I got it. I'll keep it mind. Now, bye."
"Bye, bitiya."
Khushi slowly dared a look at her husband and gulped as she saw the pointed look he was directing at her. She closed her eyes in despair and leaned back on the headrest.
A storm was brewing.
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I'm so glad you are liking this story. It was impulsive, the way this story began so I had my doubts because this one as I imagined it was not going to have ups and downs or twists and turns. I hope you're ready for more mushy times smiley36
I enjoyed reading your comments and some of your experiences during your pregnancies. Though every pregnancy is different, I have to say I get you. Some of what I have described also stems from my own experience and I had a difficult time with nausea too.
So, I have the next chapter ready. Not sure how it turned out. You tell me.