Your POV
Spending New Years alone with my daughter wasn't my original plan.
I'm definitely not complaining because I'm spending it with my baby. But the way it was handled had me pissed the fuck off.
Christmas was five days ago, I had asked Kylie to unblock me five days ago.
In which she did unblock me today (a couple of hours ago).
But like I stated , I wasn't complaining about being with Stormi. It was just how last minute she told me. I was literally in a fresh ass fit, smelling good, about to walk out of the door. But I was greeted with my daughter, with a nanny (I didn't know), and a cryptic text message basically saying I get two days with Stormi out of the week.
I had talked to Brandi about the situation, which was becoming a normal thing nowadays. And she just called me bitter as usual.
I know she was tired of me ranting to her, because every time I did she recommended me to her therapist.
In which I always declined.
I fucked up, but I'm not mentally fucked up.
Far from it.
She didn't think that though. In her words I wasn't acting like the 'normal' Y/n, I was 'changing for the worse'.
And I'm not gonna lie, that shit hurt my feelings.
Just because I made a mistake didn't mean that I was 'changing for the worse'. I'm just human, I couldn't be perfect all the time
Now I was just chilling with Stormi, reading her one of my all-time favorite children books Goodnight Moon, while occasionally watching time pass by.
As I started on the last page of the book, the ring notification sounded through my phone and house getting both Stormi and my attention.
"Who the hell," I reached over, grabbing my phone to check who was at the door.
"Ashaley?" I stood up with Stormi in my arms, the girl instantly putting her head in the crook of my neck as I walked to the front door.
"Ash-"
"Baby Zaddy," She held out walking into my house, bag in hand. "Hi Stormi." She tickled Stormi's neck, getting a giggle out of her.
"Ashaley, what's wrong?" I asked out of concern.
She was basically seven months pregnant, popping up at my house at damn near midnight on New Years Eve, something had to be wrong.
"Nothing." She waddled past me and into the living room like this was completely normal.
"What?" I said to myself as I slowly trailed behind her. "Why you here then?" I asked and the girl glared at me before slowly sitting down.
"My bad," I chuckled lowly. "What's going on?" I looked over her, standing behind the couch. Putting Stormi down when she started to wiggle in my arms.
"Why is there an air mattress in here?" She completely ignored my question.
"I can't walk up the stairs," I answered her, holding Stormi's hand as we moved around the couch. "Why are you here though?" I repeated my question and she let out a small huff.
"I figured you were gonna be lonely so I came over." She shrugged while a sly smile arose on my face.
I know that her saying that really was just code that she didn't want to be lonely.
As much as we bickered- well she bickered at me. I know that she loved to be around me. Of course completely platonically, but she loved my presence.
She would never admit that, but we both knew deep down.
"Mhm." I hummed out while grabbing Stormi's bottle before sweeping her up into my arms. Smiling to myself at the smile that was on her face as I sat down next to Ash.
"She is so cute." I started to feed Stormi her milk to get her to settle down, since it was way past her normal bed time.
"Just like me, my twin."
"Very much Kylie's twin."
"That's a lie, I'm tired of y'all with that bullshit." I shook my head in disagreement.
"All she has of you is you're skin tone and lips." Ashaley leaned over, studying Stormi and my face.
"And nose." I added, but she immediately disagreed.
"I ain't even finna argue with you," I ran my fingers through Stormi's curls. It was something that helped her go to sleep. "Cause' Messiah gone look like me and imma have two twins."
"Messiah?" I nodded my head.
"I thought we agreed on Jayden?" I side-eyed her as I changed the TV channel to the ball drop.
"We did not." I deadpanned.
I don't know why she was so set on that basic ass name.
No beef with the Jaydens in the world.
I just didn't want my son to be stereotyped as a typical light skin off rip.
I couldn't really complain though because the first name that came to my mind was Chance.
Only because I thought the movie Cloudy With The Chance of Meatballs was actually named Stormy With The Chance of Meatballs.
Dumb moment on my end, but Stormi and Chance did sound good together.
"What abo-" She let out a hiss before she could finish, immediately grabbing her her pregnant belly. "Oh my." I stopped all my movements facing towards the girl.
"Don't tell me," She stood up slowly and walking out of the living room.
I don't know what is happening, I just hope she ain't going into labor.
I know she most likely wasn't, but at this point in her pregnancy anything could happen.
"Ashaley." I stood up after the girl, still rocking Stormi.
Following behind Ash, when I saw the bathroom door close, I stopped in my tracks. Deciding not to pester her.
Rerouting, I went into the guest room that I turned into Stormi's temporary nursery since I couldn't go up the stairs, due to limited motion.
I put her in the crib, tucked her in, and placing a kiss on her head before exiting the room with the baby monitor.
I would usually let her fall asleep in my arms, but Kris told me that leads to co-sleeping. And I definitely didn't want to start that bad habit.
I took my place back on the couch in the living room, watching the ten-minute count down to New Years on the TV.
Can't lie 2018 was filled with plenty of great moments. Stormi was born and I literally couldn't have asked for a better first child, my career blossomed outside of just music, I met some great people, and did some great things.
But just like every normal thing, there is always a downside. And the downside was definitely everything that has happened in this month.
The year started great, but it's ending horribly.
All the time I spent alone recently had me thinking and wishing I could do everything over again.
All I wanted to do was close the year with Stormi and Kylie.
I had Stormi, but obviously, I didn't have Kylie.
She was the missing piece today, really every day.
I just can't get over how bad I fucked up.
I'm young as hell, but I know that she was- is my other half and I fucking ruined that.
I'm just gonna go into 2019 with the best possible attitude, given the situation.
I know that I messed up, I've been sulking about it for weeks now. But I couldn't bring that negative energy into next year, especially with a newborn on the way.
I had to better myself for my children.
And hope for the best between Kylie and I. Even if that just meant strictly co-parenting. I just wanted to be on decent terms..
It's definitely going to take a lot of ass-kissing, tears, and apologizing, but I had to do it.
"This motherfucker needs to get out of me." I turned my attention to Ashaley who was waddling back into the room, shoes in hand. "My damn back hurt, feet and face swole. I can't deal with this anymore." She plopped down onto the couch.
I obviously couldn't relate.
But I definitely could tell this pregnancy was taking a toll on her.
She had gained fifty pounds (and counting), which was already more than Kylie gained her whole pregnancy.
I shouldn't compare the two because they're two different people and no women's body will react the same. But it will always amaze me how smoothly Kylie's pregnancy went compared to what Ash is going through.
"Y/n," I hummed watching the girl shift so her back was against the arm of the couch. "Massage my feet." My face scrunched in disgust.
"No." I looked back at the TV.
Only three minutes left.
"Please Y/n." She whined rubbing her foot up and down my arm like a damn weirdo. "It's the least you can do. I'm carrying your heavy ass son."
I rolled my eyes as I scooted closer to the girl, putting her feet in my lap.
"Wait- grab my phone first," I glared over a the girl who was smiling cheekily at me. "Thank you," She said when I handed her the device. "You're being nice today, might get a New Years' kiss."
"Chill out." Ashaley laughed as I massaged her swollen feet.
"Have you seen the pictures from the shoot?" I kept my eyes locked on the screen. "Y/n?"
"Happy New Year." I watched the ball drop, hearing Ash repeat the same words back to me.
I know everyone was so lit right now.
While I'm in the damn house massaging feet.
I wonder what Kylie doing.
I hope whatever club she at is dry as hell and any nigga she talks to ugly. Just so nobody can say she upgraded.
I sound miserable as hell.
"Y/n."
"Yes, Ash." I gave her my undivided attention because if I didn't she would most likely start crying or yelling and I don't have time for that shit.
"Have you see the pictures?" She asked once again.
"Did you send them to me?"
She shook her head no.
"Then how would I have seen them?" There was no way she was being serious right now.
"I posted them on IG."
"I deleted my socials. I got tired of seeing my dick everywhere." She laughed but I was dead serious.
Throughout the whole scandal I obviously got the short end of the stick, while Ashaley was chilling with her a million-plus new followers.
Thirsty ass followers at that.
"Lemme see," I took the phone from her hand, seeing the maternity shoot on the screen.
Her solo pictures turned out great.
I didn't really want to participate at first because it felt way to intimate, but after a ton of convincing from Ashaley and Brandi I eventually gave in. Only for the sake of our son.
But while in the process of the shoot I didn't actually think she would post them. I thought we both agreed to save them for our family and only our family to see.
At least I semi followed my mind and opted for friendly poses because apparently Ash and I were not on the same page.
Prior to these pictures being posted, I never truly confirmed that I was having a baby. Of course, they saw the text messages... And the tape, so that was enough evidence in itself, but I didn't say anything about it.
The last thing that social media got from me directly, was the rant where I thanked whoever hacked me for ruining 'my life' and any genuine fans chance of getting any new music.
That was dumb as hell on my end, but shit I was mad as fuck. Dick everywhere, private messages everywhere, almost three albums worth of songs out like I actually released them.
I was heated.
Then I vowed to pull a Robyn and focus on all my endorsements, leaving music completely behind for now.
"They're good." I handed her back the phone, sliding her feet off of my lap. "You staying here or something?" I looked back at Ashaley after I took off my hoodie.
"Yea, the baby shower is tomorrow, remember?"
"Ok."
"You're coming right." I shook my head no.
"That's only for girls," She gave me a look. "Obviously I'm a exception."
"It's not traditional Y/n. You're coming."
"What time is it because I have physical therapy in the morning and meetings in the afternoon." I ran my hand down my face, letting out a low huff.
"Two Y/n, I told you this."
"You never said I could come."
"I thought that was common sense," I pulled out my phone while she talked to rearrange some of my meetings. "My family wants to meet you so you need to be there."
"Ok." I shook my head in disbelief as I sat on the air mattress in the living room.
Everything was so last minute with this girl.
It was lowkey unfair both to me and the people I do business with. I was always changing plans a day or even an hour before because she didn't tell me about something.
It's just so annoying, especially because this shit can be avoided.
"I'm going to bed, you can sleep in my room." I pulled the covers over my head too tired to talk anymore.
___
"I thought you stood us up for a minute." My eyebrows scrunched and I turned to the voice as I walked into the building. "I'm Amaya, Ashaley's older sister." I put Stormi on the floor, holding her hand before shaking Amaya's with my free one.
"Nice to meet you." I said as I watched her crouch down to Stormi's level.
Ash's sister introduced herself to Stormi and surprisingly she babbled hello accompanied with a wave-making the older woman cheese and stand back up.
"She's so adorable," I thanked her. "How old is she?"
"Eleven months." I answered.
"So their birthdays are going to be close." She said more to herself but I nodded in agreement.
"Uh, I know there's plenty of people who want to talk to you in there, but before you head in can you promise me something."
I nodded once again. Hoping that she wasn't asking for a favor already.
"Can you promise that you'll always be there for your son and Ash," I started to speak but she cut me off. "She knows that your loyalty lies with Kylie and she's scared that whenever you two get back together you'll completely disregard your son." I frowned, genuinely shocked by this revelation.
"Imma always be there for what's mine," Amaya nodded. "No matter who I'm with, my kids are always gonna be first."
I can completely understand the doubts, but by nowI thought Ashaley could see that I was always gonna be there for her and our son.
I was sneaking around making it to every appointment, providing her with craving snacks, basically doing everything she wanted.
If I was doing that knowing it could ruin my relationship.
Why would I stop when it already did.
No matter who it was, what the situation is. Everything I do is never enough.
"I'll see you in there." I said to the girl while picking Stormi up, walking fully into the party.
Saying hello to everyone as I passed by before making my way towards Ashaley who was in between; who I'm assuming are her parents.
"Y/n," Ashaley said once I was in front of them. "This is my dad Jamal," She pointed to the heavyset dark skinned man. "And my mom Alexandria." She nodded towards the light skinned women, who Ashaley stole her whole face from.
Honestly, if I wasn't aware that her parents were here I would've thought her mom was her sister.
"Nice to meet you." I switched to hold Stormi on my left side. Shaking her dad's hand with my right then moving to do the same with her mom, but she surprisingly pulled me into a hug
"You as well sweetie." The older woman said.
"Long overdue." Her dad said shortly after.
"Yea.." I held out awkwardly looking between the three of them.
"Well let's chat." I followed behind them.
I can't even lie, I tried my best to focus on what Ash's parents were talking to me about.
But I was too damn tired.
Taking care of a child already had me wore out most of the time, but squeezing PT and three meetings in the time gap of 4 hours... On top of watching Stormi had me ready to pass out.
It probably would've helped as well if Ash's parents were actually talking about something I didn't know.
This setting wasn't the place for a heart to heart, but shit I already knew that Ash was nervous about being an mom.
The whole conversation felt like me just reassuring my morals rather than us getting to know each other. Which is what the conversation should've been about since we were going to be 'family' soon.
We would just have to talk another day because today wasn't working.
I spent the majority of the shower glued to my seat. Occasionally getting up to fix food for Stormi and myself or to take pictures with Ash/ her friends that were slightly starstruck.
All in all, the day could've been better.
I wish I was more enthusiastic for Ash's sake. I tried my best to put up a front but I'm pretty sure she could tell by my body language that I wasn't fully here.
I'll just add it to the list of things I need to make up for.
___
A/n
This was finished on my phone due to my computer being broke af. So, sorry for any mistakes.
Anyways I already have a baby name chosen, but drop some suggestions because y'all might have a better one.