Two large rooms far from the action taking place in the rest of the cathedral wound up being nominated as the place for the visitors from Millennia to stay for the night. The mercenaries themselves (with their special guest of Alistair) wound up staying in the smaller of the two rooms while the Second Camaraderie (accompanied by Cerise) did the same with the larger room. It was a tight fit in both spaces, but it felt oddly homey under the circumstances. It was nice to be so close to people that you knew cared, after all, and the family environment could be felt everywhere.
To be more accurate, it could be felt everywhere for most of the group. Cerise had chosen to take to the edges of the room, uncertain of what she was meant to do to reach out. She had been struggling with this ever since she first arrived with the remainder of the group. Even when she had become a Sealed One, bound to the rest of them by fate itself, Cerise hadn't been able to bridge the gap. It was an impossible task, and she figured that it would be best if she just hung back and waited until there was an easier method that presented itself to get through to them.
The rest of the group didn't seem to feel this silent tension though, or if they did notice it, they chose not to openly acknowledge it, perhaps because of the veil of awkwardness that seemed to permeate the air. Carys didn't seem to care in the slightest, and she had her arms crossed over her chest as she proudly proclaimed her beliefs about Mars for what felt like the fiftieth time. "I still don't trust him. We know what we've experienced, and we know what S.M. saw. How can he have been here on Enmity when we know for a fact that the Keeper of Moonlight was involved with everything that's been happening recently?" Carys questioned.
"I don't know if he could really be the one that we're after," Sophia admitted. "Something about him feels too genuine for that. I don't know how to describe it, but... I don't think that he's the one who has done all of this to us. I think that there has to be more going on here that we just aren't seeing."
"If it isn't him, then that means that Archbishop Sionis is probably protecting the real Keeper of Moonlight for some reason, right?" S.M. asked. "Come on. The Church of Moonlight has been claiming that hiding the Keeper from the world is their way of paying reparations for what happened during the War of Starlight, so it's not like that would be completely out of the question. Maybe he's trying to keep the one who's been causing problems from getting any worse... Or maybe he's working with them."
"Something about him feels more genuine than I would expect from someone who would lie to that degree though," Iris pointed out. "I guess that it's just because he seems to be better than the archbishop of the Church of Moonlight, but... I don't know. He seems sincere, and I don't know why he would lie to us. We know that there's something going on here, so why try to hide it when everything feels so obvious?"
"I think that there is more to this than meets the eye no matter how we look at it," Luce declared. "I want to believe that Mars couldn't be the one that's been doing all of this, but we don't know enough about the situation to make a proper assessment. If he really has an alibi, then that means that we've made a wrong assumption somewhere up to this point."
"There's no way to say for sure if that was the voice that I heard when Iago Thanatos received his Moonlight Blessing. At the time, the Keeper of Moonlight was distorting their voice somehow using a type of magic, so I wouldn't be able to tell even if I did hear the person again," S.M. sighed. She suddenly glanced over to Cerise, and the Blend felt her stomach drop into her feet at the sudden spike in attention. "Cerise, you've heard the voice of the Keeper of Moonlight before, right? You were given a Moonlight Blessing while you were still with the Alight Five on Igni, right?"
Cerise nodded carefully. "I'm afraid that I wouldn't be able to help you though. After all, I wasn't exactly able to figure out how the Keeper sounded when that happened either. I wouldn't be able to tell who it was if I heard their voice again either. Nothing about Mars struck me as familiar, though I suppose that doesn't mean much," she confessed.
Cerise was overwhelmed with relief when the rest of the group looked away from her to continue their own discussion. "I guess that this just means that we're going to have to do some old fashioned investigation," Cessair declared with a smile. "If you all think that there's something wrong about this, then I believe you completely. It's up to us to get to the bottom of this, and I think that we can do it if we put our minds together and focus on where the logic takes us."
"The logic so far has seemed like it was going to tell us that Mars was the one who's been handing out those Moonlight Blessings, but apparently, it isn't that easy," Helena sighed. "I think that the Keeper of Moonlight was there during the final battle on Igni too, though they didn't show their face, obviously. We would have spotted them if that was the case unless they were hiding among the crowd, but... Okay, I'm just going to confuse myself if I keep talking like that. The point is that the Keeper of Moonlight was there reinforcing the Shadows that attacked the old capital as soon as we came to occupy the city. That was all that we figured out at the time."
"We're going to have to be careful from here on out. I'm glad that we were able to come here and get at least a little bit of extra information, but there isn't anything that we can do to jump to conclusions right now. As much as I would love to just finish everything off here and now, I really do think that there's foul play going on here, and until we have concrete answers about who the person distributing Moonlight Blessings really is, then we're not going to be able to do much of anything about this," Tanith declared.
"Maybe we should all try and get some sleep so that we aren't up all night talking about this," Anneliese suggested. She glanced over to Nebula, who had been rubbing at her eyes ever since the conversation started. "Nebula looks exhausted, and to be quite honest, the rest of you do too. I think it's time for us to try and rest. We're leaving Enmity tomorrow, and we can start thinking about other possibilities after that."
"Okay," Luce agreed. She was quick to ease herself back against the ground. The room's floor had been transformed into a large cot since there wasn't enough space for individual beds for all of them. Nobody seemed to mind given that this was no different from sleeping within the ship, though they were on the floor this time rather than being on benches that lined the walls of the ship. "Night, everyone."
Iris, who was the one closest to the switch, reached up and turned the lights off. From there, everyone seemed to settle down on their own over the span of a few minutes. Cerise did the same, staring up at the vacant ceiling overhead. She let out a small sigh, unable to hold back her dissatisfaction with the situation.
Cerise really didn't know what to do. She hadn't known for a long time. It wasn't as if she was going to be able to forge connections with the others in this company on the flip of a dime, but it was so much harder than it felt like it had to be. December had been right to push her to step out of her comfort zone to try and get to know them, but that did little to lessen the sting that made Cerise feel so damn alone in a place where she should have felt at home.
The bottom line was that it felt like intrusion. They had their preexisting dynamics before Cerise showed up and, as far as she was concerned, mucked it all up with her unexpected Sealing. She wasn't meant to be there. She didn't even deserve them. As a member of the Alight Five, she had done awful thing. One could argue that it was in the name of survival, but Cerise had gotten sick of that excuse a long time ago. She had been raised to act as Surion's perfect soldier, but that did little to keep her from wanting to throw up when she thought about the Alight Five.
And yet, at the same time, she wanted to go back to that. Cerise found herself strangely desperate to return to the times before all of this had appeared, when she had been with December, River, Arisu, and Eros without a care in the world. They had been her family for so long, and they were unstoppable. Outside of combat, they cared about each other in their own special way. Eros always denied it, and Arisu was always teasing when others tried to poke fun at them. River was soft-spoken but had a powerful sense of justice, and December was the mother figure. They were flawed as all hell, but Cerise enjoyed having them in her life. They were a family, and that same connection hadn't appeared with Cerise and the Second Camaraderie.
She thought of herself as the other among the group. They had only been together for about five months prior to her first appearance in their lives, but that seemed to make all the difference. Nebula and Anneliese had forgiven her ages ago, but it was still awkward when Cerise met eyes with them on the Sacred Heart campus while visiting with December and Altina. Everything felt strange and foreign, and no matter how desperate Cerise was to just block it out already, she knew that was not an option. In all truth, it never had been. She just had to deal with that fact.
Before Cerise fully knew what she was doing, she rose to her feet and started walking for the door. Nobody heard her, or so it seemed. If they did, they figured that it wasn't a big deal and just returned to attempting to sleep. Cerise stepped out into the hallway cautiously before letting out a small sigh. The air in there was suffocating even though the room was huge, though Cerise supposed that the space had little to do with it. She was around them at all, and that was what stung so much.
Cerise found herself near a bench sitting against a hallway of the building, and she looked up at the ceiling as if she thought the stars above might bring her salvation. What a joke that was. They were the stars, and she was the moon. That was the damn problem in the first place. Cerise hated the Moonlight Blessing that she had been given even though she couldn't do a thing about it. It set her apart from the rest of the Second Camaraderie, made her even more of an other than she wanted to be. It was another factor in the world's worst equation, and it made her feel sick to her stomach.
"Are you feeling alright?"
Cerise snapped back to focus when she realized that she was no longer alone. She glanced up and saw none other than Sophia walking closer, a gentle smile on her face. Cerise shook off her shock and forced herself to respond. "I'm fine," she said simply.
Sophia walked over to her before looking down to the bench. "Can I sit here?" she questioned. Cerise carefully moved over despite the overwhelming urge to be alone. She had bottled her feelings every other day of her damn life, and she just wanted to keep shoving her emotions aside in peace. Hiding how she felt was part of survival on Igni, and even though it was no longer a matter of life and death, the instinct was too strong for her to ignore. Hiding how she felt was just easier when push came to shove. She wanted to be away from all of this.
"What are you doing up so late?" Cerise asked even though she knew that she was bound to be met with the same inquiry from Sophia in return. "We've got a big day tomorrow, and nobody would want you to be up losing sleep."
"I've been having trouble sleeping for a while now," Sophia confessed with a shake of her head. "The past few months... They've been hard for me. In all honesty, I've been struggling to feel like I belong with the rest of the group."
There was something that caught Cerise by surprise. Her eyes widened. "What? Why? You've been with them for ages now, so why would they randomly ditch you now?" she asked, doing her best to pretend that the question didn't come from a place of deep self-hatred.
"I don't know," Sophia admitted. "I guess... I'm not like the rest of them. They're all amazing fighters, and I... My speciality is in healing magic. I could never do anything like what they're capable of. You're an incredible fighter too, you know. I would never be able to live up to those sorts of expectations. They've done so much to fight in wars already, but I... I'm nothing. I didn't even have much magic beyond healing for most of my life."
"What do you mean?" Cerise asked, treading the conversation carefully. She could tell that it had the potential to dip into disaster if she wasn't cautious about how she approached this sort of topic.
"I... I was desperate to get away from my father and brother throughout my childhood. I only had healing magic for much of my life, though it came from plant-based sources like the magic I use now. I prayed to the goddess of Fortunia one night because I wanted to escape from them. I wanted powers that I could use to either fight back or somehow escape otherwise, and... When I woke up, something felt different. When I tried, I learned that I could make plants grow and bend in ways that I had never been able to before. The gods are closer to the land of the living than we realize, I suppose. Without that, I... I never would have been able to go to Millennia and attend classes at Alitia. I would still be back on Fortunia now," Sophia explained.
Cerise remained silent as Sophia sighed and continued. "I'm still not a fighter like the rest of the group. I know that I'm not like them, and... I don't feel like this is worth it. I suppose I feel responsible for all of this. Somebody could get seriously hurt because of me, and I don't know if I can bear that guilt. Maybe I should just go back to--"
"No," Cerise cut in, narrowing her eyes. "Your life was hell back on Fortunia. I know that your immediate instinct is to try and go back, but... You deserve better than that. They're here for you because they care. Everyone is doing this because they want to. Even if you don't believe it yet, I would be more than happy to say it over and over until you understand and have faith in what I'm trying to say."
Sophia seemed to be caught off guard by what Cerise had said, and if Cerise was being honest, she was as well. Sophia smiled gently and reached out to place her hand on top of Cerise's knuckles. At first, Cerise was tense and statuesque, but she quickly relaxed into the sensation. Was this what it felt like to truly be at home with somebody? It didn't even seem real to her, if she was being honest.
Sophia suddenly lost her grace when she spoke once again. "I've always liked girls, you know," she confessed. After realizing the potential implications of her words, she backpedaled with reddening cheeks. "N-Not that this is me saying that I like you in that way or anything! I-I just mean that me liking girls is the reason that I've been in so much trouble all over this... My family never liked that, and... I couldn't fight back against my parents. They were too strong for me, and I couldn't just get them to leave me alone. That was why I had to find another escape for all of this."
"Nobody judges you for that here," Cerise murmured. "We've all got our own places in the world, and... They care about you. They don't hold something like that over your head. Everyone's... Accepting."
"Exactly," Sophia agreed. After a brief pause, she continued. "I think the same thing about you, Cerise. I can tell that you've been distant from the rest of us, and I understand why. You've been feeling excluded for a while, but... I want you to know that we all care about you whether you see it or not. Do you really think that we would feel safe spending so much time around you if we didn't think that you were deserving of our care?"
The words hit like a punch to the stomach, and Cerise found herself gasping for air in a strange way. "Huh," was all Cerise could bring herself to say. "I... I guess I didn't think about it that way."
Sophia laughed to herself. "I think that we have a lot more in common than you realize, Cerise," she said softly. "I know that it's a weird thing for me to say, but... I believe that we've got a lot of common ground to base a connection of. We both feel somewhat distant from the rest of this group, but... I think that has to change sooner rather than later."
"They all care about you a lot, you know," Cerise told Sophia. "I can see it in the way that they all look at you. It's clear when you know what you're looking for. You're all like a family, and it's nice to see you so close."
"I'm not going to stop pushing until you include yourself in those qualifications about family," Sophia insisted, her fingers gently squeezing down on Cerise's where their hands sat between them. "This isn't a matter of obligation that comes with you being a Sealed One, you know. We want to include you no matter what happens there, but... I don't think that everyone knows how to approach you quite yet."
"I can't blame them," Cerise muttered. "I was awful to you guys up until recently. I fought with the Alight Five, and it was by pure chance that I wound up becoming a Sealed One. There are eleven of you, and I... I came in by luck."
"I don't think it was luck," Sophia told her. "Becoming a Sealed One isn't a matter of destiny. It's about confirming your resolve and showing what you believe in, and that's why we're here in the first place. We're here because we care about each other, and Sealings are just an extra little bonus to make us stronger when we're going to fight together against whatever comes our direction."
"I suppose so," Cerise whispered. It felt odd that Sophia was putting it that way, but that didn't mean that she hated it. In fact, she rather enjoyed the idea of being able to have a family to spend time with. The Alight Five had been disbanded for the time being, and Cerise felt like a stranger in her home on N-Yx. Maybe what she needed was another family that she chose in order to show what she believed in and needed.
"This isn't the best way for us to bond as a group, but... I think that we're going to make the most out of it," Sophia smiled. "I mean, we're all in a confined space together, and that sounds like a perfect way for us to get to know one another. We're forced to be around one another no matter what, and while it's not going to be easy to get past how awful our situation is, I think that we can do it. We're all survivors around here. We've gotten through conflict after conflict, and we're going to keep holding on no matter what comes next."
Cerise nodded to herself, a gentle grin working its way across her lips. She reached out to Sophia before she knew what she was doing, and a moment later, the other girl was wrapped in her grasp. Sophia was surprised at first, but as soon as she moved past her shock at Cerise's sudden display of affection, she smiled and returned the gesture.
For a long time, Cerise and Sophia just sat there, holding onto one another like this was the first time that the world had ever made sense. Times had been difficult for quite a while, but they were still finding a way to make the pieces come together to form something greater and more beautiful than they ever thought possible. They were making the most out of it, and that was what mattered most.
When Cerise finally pulled away, her vision was blurry. She realized belatedly that there were tears in her eyes that were on the verge of spilling over. Sophia reached up and wiped the stray liquid away from Cerise's face with one gentle finger. Cerise didn't know how it was that Sophia could have such a profound impact on her after such a short span of time. Sophia gave her the chance to be vulnerable emotionally in a way that had never been possible with the Alight Five. They had been forced to project an aura of strength no matter what for the sake of survival, but that was no longer an issue. As long as Sophia was there, it felt like it would be possible for Cerise to break out of her negative programming from her years on Igni.
When Cerise thought of her birth family, she found that there was a strange vacuum to keep her from understanding. She was trying with everything that she had. Truly, she wanted to reach out to them and create a bridge of connection that would allow her to feel safe and at home with them, but it just didn't feel possible, like there was something that was intent on keeping her as far from her goal as possible. They cared about her on the sheer factor of them being family, but Cerise couldn't help but bitterly wonder if she even understood the word. What the hell was a 'family' when push came to shove?
S.M.'s family had involved Surion as far as blood relations were concerned. Surion was nothing short of a monster, and everyone was fully aware of it. S.M. had never had much of a connection to Surion, and Cerise hadn't ever seen the two of them in the same room when S.M. was still on Igni. It had kept her from getting to know S.M. prior to their encounters on Millennia since she worked for Surion above all else. S.M. and Surion were family by blood, but Surion had tried to kill her and frame her for the death of another of his grandchildren. Octavia had been their family too, but Surion didn't care in the slightest when it came to harming her, and that was what caused his downfall in the end.
Sophia's family was the reason that they were traveling from planet to planet in present times as well. Their treatment of her could hardly be called humane, and she was struggling under the weight of her trauma and their hatred of her. Sophia was nothing more than a pawn to the rulers of Fortunia, and that was the reason that everything had fallen so far out of their control. Was that what family meant? Was it obligation until inconvenience that kept people connected above all else?
Cerise didn't know the answer in that moment, but she did know that there was a lovely girl sitting in front of her with eyes that made her feel as if everything was going to be fine. Sophia had been struggling so much as of late, but she was still trying to put on a brave face for the rest of the group. Her determination was admirable, and Cerise found herself smiling as her cheek pressed against Sophia's grasp. The rest of the world didn't matter. Mars, Jeremiah, and Colin were far from Cerise's mind, because for the first time in far too long, she had found a way to feel at home.
~~~~~
Zylphia knew that Jin was up to no good the instant that she walked into the house.
The two of them had come to share their home recently, more specifically when Tanith came to live with them. They were busy with work most of the time, prompting them to live on their respective campuses, but with summer in full swing, they would be able to see one another more often. Zylphia thought that she was ready for all of Jin's shenanigans. In all honesty, she had been sure that it would be refreshing after the awful day that she had been having.
Ever since the teachers of the other schools had started to quit, Zylphia had gone into overdrive trying to find replacements and fit them into perfect slots. The mercenaries made a lot of sense, and both Salem and December were happy to fill in gaps as well. Still, determining the full extent of it was like trying to solve the world's most convoluted logic puzzle, and it gave her a headache. Coming home exhausted was practically tradition from the past few days, and not having Tanith around only made it more strenuous than it would have been otherwise.
Jin was not making things any easier. He was flipping through a magazine when Zylphia walked inside, and she sighed when she noticed what it was that was written on the cover. "You are not looking at that," she muttered. It was a magazine filled with promotions of items used for young children.
Jin's fever for children had been obvious for ages. He had been calmed as soon as they got Tanith in their lives, but it was clear that he was still desperate for something a little bit extra as far as children were concerned. He was hoping for more, especially since Tanith was gone on her trip around the dimension.
"I want a baby, Zyl," Jin told her with his tired, lopsided smile. "I need someone to smother and spoil. You don't let me do that with you, and babies are just so cute! Look at this one in the cute crib!"
"No," Zylphia sighed. "We don't have time for a baby right now. We never have had time for a baby, and that's not going to change. Besides, Tanith will be back in a few weeks. She's only been gone for a few hours, Jin. When she comes back, this baby fever of yours is going to go away, and we both know it. Why don't we just cut out the middleman and say that everything is going to be fine as soon as Tanith comes back from her trip?"
"But I miss her!" Jin cried out as he slid over on the couch to make room for Zylphia. She sat down after draping her jacket over the armrest and shook her head as Jin went on. "I think that another little set of feet running around here would give it some life."
"I've told you how I feel about babies, Jin," Zylphia said for what was probably the seventieth time in her lifespan. That was one thing that Jin and Zylphia differed on. When presented with a young children, Zylphia heard screaming and crying while Jin heard laughing and babbling. Tanith was old enough to be able to handle herself under most circumstances when necessary, hence why Zylphia had been alright with bringing the young girl into their home. It seemed that Tanith was only a temporary reprieve from the chaos of Jin's urge to have someone young in his life that he could treat as his baby.
"Then maybe I'll figure something else out that will satisfy this," Jin told her with another sideways grin of his. He flipped to the next page and pointed to a bobbing baby toy covered with small things to spin and slide around. "This is so cute! Imagine if we got a--"
"No," Zylphia repeated. "I don't think that there's anything but a child that will satisfy this urge of yours, Jin. Tanith will be back in a few weeks, and until then, you can find a new hobby." Jin looked surprised as he tried to think about what other hobby he could take up aside from spoiling his daughter rotten. Zylphia sighed and shook her head. "We'll work it out."
For all of her little irritations with Jin's baby fever though, Zylphia still did love him. He was what she needed in his own way, and she was glad that she had him in her life. Things would certainly be less exciting with him around. Zylphia allowed herself the chance to smile as Jin continued to fawn over the magazine, and she shook her head once more. It might have been a mess, but this was her family, and she loved it in her own little way.
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I did not expect to like the dynamic between Cerise and Sophia as much as I do but here we are it's just sweet okay
-Digital