I lost the damn battle.
I got outsmarted by a boy.
I can practically hear my father yelling and calling me dumb names. Cercei's annoyed face played in my mind, and Tyrion's laugh that was engraved in my brain.
But then again, I am kind of glad that I lost, if I won, I would have had to kill Robb, and that would give Audelia another reason to hate me. Not that I had any chance with her now that I was a prisoner of the Starks, at least there will be less of me to hate.
"By the time they knew what was happening, it had already happened", I heard someone say as I was dragged into the Stark camp, and pushed onto the floor. I looked around me, noticing some familiar faces I had seen on my visit to Winterfell.
"Lady Stark", I greeted the woman I knew most of all. "I'd offer you my sword, but it seems to me that I have lost it".
"It's not the sword I want", she replied coldly. "Give me my daughters back, give me my husband".
"I've lost them too, I'm afraid", I reply cockily with a smile. It was my somewhat coping mechanism.
Talking their ears off, it's the easiest way to distract them from protecting their secrets, and then when I find them out, I can use them against them. Something Cercei taught me. It did take me most of my life. I have been told I was a slow learner.
"Kill him, Robb", said the Greyjoy boy I've seen before. He made my skin crawl and I didn't even know him.
"Send his head to his father", yelled another man. I looked at the eldest Stark boy. He was a man now. Ned's true son. They reminded me of each other.
"He cut down 10 of our men", urged another.
"I did? Haven't noticed", I said with a smirk.
"He's more use to us alive than dead", announced Robb after a moment of thinking. "Take him away and put him in irons". I was pushed up, and almost taken away but I had to take my chances. I did not want to disappoint father, and perhaps he was stupid enough to accept my deal. I hoped not, because if he did not fall for it, I could say that I had tried everything without lying.
"We can end this right now, boy, save thousands of lives", I try to persuade him. "You fight for the Starks, I fight for the Lannisters".
If he was anything like his father, I would have a hard time winning, but I could still win. He was young, inexperienced. He just won a great battle, he will act cocky and I was desperate, I would act smart and on instinct.
"Swords or lances, teeth, nails ... choose your weapons and let's end this here and now.", I continue but Robb smiled.
"If we do this your way, Kingslayer, you would win", he replied. "We are not doing it your way".
I smile fakely, knowing that I had lost. He was smarter than I thought. Good. A point for the Starks. Zero for the Lannisters.
"Come on, pretty man", said a guard as he dragged me away.
I was brought to the side of camp. They had no cages yet I guessed, so I was strapped with iron shackles on my wrists, legs and neck to some stone. I had no way of getting out, and nobody was going to help me here. Stark men were all annoyingly honorable and loyal.
Gods if my men were like that, maybe I wouldn't be here right now, rotting as I was strapped to some rock.
It was terribly dull sitting here all night, uncomfortable too. It was stupid attack the Stark Lord on the street, stupid that I underestimated the boy.
Cercei was right, I am the stupidest Lannister.
But not just for losing this battle, and possibly starting all of this by attacking Lord Stark. But also because I didn't tell Audelia how I felt. I had a clear chance, when she didn't know what I had done to her brother, and that I was with my sister. When everything was alright and she kissed me on the cheek. But as I always do it, I blow it. I run away, because I was scared and angry that they had my brother.
And now I don't even know if I will ever see her again. For all I know, I could be killed in a few minutes. Or a few years. While she was stuck in King's Landing with nobody, in a strange land. She will most likely be married when I come back.
If I come back.
I couldn't imagine her with anybody else. Although I spend so little time with her, that time when Joffrey invited her for an outing. The rage it send me in, I hadn't felt that in a very long time. Just imagining her laughing at another mans jokes, sharing his bed, him getting the kisses on the cheek, her showing him attitude that attracted me the most in her.
She was a rare woman. She was kind, strong, smart, beautiful, inspiring, cocky, funny, clever, every positive word. And any man would be lucky to have her. I just hoped that I would have been lucky enough to have a chance.
"Here, Kingslayer. Some food", said a guard as he approached. I was startled as I hadn't heard him coming but I didn't let it show. I looked behind him and saw many soldiers whispering, some even looked sad. Everybody seemed quiet and I had thought that they would be celebrating all night, drinking beer, stumbling drunkenly, perhaps give me an opening to escape. But nothing like that happened for the majority of the night.
"What happened?", I asked, confused as to why everyone seemed so down. They had just won a great battle, and captured possibly the best prisoner one could think of. But they looked to be mourning.
"Shouldn't we ask you", spit back the guard. "Your family is all to blame".
"What happened?", I ask, more forcefully this time.
"Ned Stark is dead. He was beheaded by the grace of the King", replied the guard looking me up and down with his brown eyes. "You happy? Now let me tell ye. Robb Stark ain't gonna stop now. He's out for the blood of the new King".
"New King?", I repeated.
What's happened while I was away.
"Aye, King Robert is dead", informed me the guard and then shook his head while laughing darkly. "It's now King Joffrey".
Seven Hells.
Don't get me wrong, I was happy King Robert was dead. That old drunk didn't know how to be King in the slightest but Joffrey being King? He was my flesh and blood, my son but he wasn't right in the head. I loved him, dearly. But if he were to be King, this could end badly.
I always hoped, prayed that his cruelness was just a phase, that he would grow out of it. But the more years passed, and the worse he became, I realized that perhaps it wasn't a phase.
Now he was King, with almost unlimited power, and Lords, Ladys, people at his disposal that he could play with like pawns.
Not to mention, he killed Ned. Audelia must be beside herself with grief. Oh I certainly stood no chance now. But it also means that Audelia and her little sisters are all alone in King's Landing with my family, and all the other bloodthirsty houses. She was not safe.
If Ned is dead, Robb has now a stronger reason as to why he wants to rebel against the crown.
And if Joffrey, and I'm guessing my sister want involved in all of this, if they get away with killing the head of the Stark family. The Warden of the North. The alpha of the pack of wolves. Who else can they get away with killing?
"Lady Stark", announced the guard and I looked over, struggling a little because of the iron chain around my neck.
"I want to see him", ordered Lady Stark and I composed myself. I couldn't show any kind of weakness now. "Now!", she yelled. Clearly she was not in the right mind. But that's what happens when your husband dies.
"You look lovely tonight, Lady Stark", I compliment her with my usual cocky tone. To be frank, it was starting to annoy me as well but I had to keep up the act. "Widowhood becomes you".
She stared me down with her ice cold Tully eyes that resembled Audelia's. She remained silent as I spoke.
"Your bed must be lonely. Is that why you came? I'm not at my best but I'm sure I could be of service to you", I continue but I cringe internally just thinking about sleeping with Audelia's mother.
She quickly picked up a rock and hit me across the face, creating a big gash just above my forehead. I scoffed lightly as I composed myself.
"I do like a violent woman", I say quietly. It was one of the things that attracted me in Audelia, and Cercei. One of the things they shared in common but at the same time they were so different. Audelia wasn't violent or cruel, she had a clever tongue, and she was a good fighter. Cercei was bloodthirsty, that was why she was so violent and aggressive.
"I will kill you tonight, Ser, pack your head in a box and send it to your sister.", she announced and I smiled wider.
"Let me show you how", I offered sarcastically. "Hit me behind my ear here a few more times". I point to a spot behind my ear but she doesn't move. "You are stronger than you look... it shouldn't take long".
"This is what you want the world to believe, isn't it? That you don't fear death", she replied, narrowing her eyes at me.
"But I don't, my Lady", I say with no care. "The darkness is coming for all of us, why cry about it?".
"Because you are going to the deepest of the Seven Hells, if the Gods are just", she replied with venom in her voice. The smile on my face disappeared because I knew she was right. I had committed too many sins to be considered good.
"And what God's are those?", I ask. "The trees your husband prayed to? And where were those trees when his head was getting chopped off?".
She looked at me with disgust. I couldn't blame her. I would look at myself the same way.
"If your Gods are real, and they are just. Why is the world so far from justice?", I asked.
"Because of men like you", she replied.
"There are no men like me", I said quieter. "Only me".
"My son, Bran", began Lady Stark again after a moment. "How did he come to fall from the tower?".
I looked at her, a little shocked she was asking me. But I knew that she knew. She just wanted me to admit it.
"I pushed him", I admit quietly.
"Why?", asked Catelyn Stark with pain in her eyes.
"I had hoped the fall killed him", I tried to explain.
"Why?", she asked again.
I couldn't tell her. It would put Joffrey at risk. It would put Tommen, Myrcella, Cercei, everybody I loved at risk and I couldn't do that to them. So I remained quiet.
She left after a while and I was once again left in silence. With my thoughts. With my crushed dreams and hopes.
One thing was for certain, the Dark times are here. Cercei and Joffrey began a war by killing Ned. And I'm no so sure they will be able to win it.
As the Starks love to say,
Winter Is Coming