[child(e) has added you, xiao <3 to the group chat]
[the alpha males 😈💪]
child(e)
Hello My Girlies!
scammer (zhongli)
We are not your girlies.
Why are you typing like this?
child(e)
Not You Talking 🙄
Anyways
I'm Typing Like An Alpha
Xiao Is Here Because He Asked For Advice!
And Now He's About To Learn How To Become An Alpha Male 😈
nevermind, i hate typing like this
kaeya
What
You mean the edgelord from history class?
child(e)
yes
now xiao, present yourself 💪
xiao <3
can you stop using these emojis 😐 i shouldn't have asked for help from the whitest boy in school
diluc
You really shouldn't have
child(e)
do you want advice or not 😐😐😐😐😐
xiao <3
but nothing related to white boy summer 😈🥶💪👊 or whatever you white gingers call it
child(e)
i'm kicking you out
bye bye comrade 👋
xiao <3
NO wait
just tell me what to do ajax 😐 goddammit.
scammer
Are you sure you want advice from Childe out of all people, Xiao?
xiao <3
i'll judge after he tells me
child(e)
first things first: get taller
you're like 5 feet tall, you should be like me and all of the alphas here 🚶
xiao <3
fuck you
child(e)
second: stop drinking water, it has no protein. drink cement instead, an actual manly drink
diluc
Excuse me?????????
xiao <3
what?
child(e)
third: take a scoop of creatine every 10 to 15 minutes
xiao <3
what the actual fuck
are you serious?
child(e)
fourth! shit your pants! going to the bathroom takes energy, use that energy to get ripped 💪
kaeya
Fr fr 💯💯
xiao <3
😐
scammer
I'm just going to ignore this monstrosity. I'll talk to you all later. Farewell.
child(e)
fifth: DO NOT eat food. only consume creatine because women eat food and that makes food feminine 💯
[diluc has left the group chat]
kaeya
The only things youre allowed to eat as an alpha are bricks 💪💪
xiao <3
are you guys joking right now.
child(e)
sixth: stop showing your emotions. you're a cold blooded demon so act like one 😈
xiao <3
i'm 10 steps ahead of you on this one
child(e)
seventh and last but not least: no women ❌❌❌❌ you only got your fellow alpha males and kings 👑
xiao <3
no bye what the fuck did i get myself into 😐
kaeya
AHAHAHAHAH OH MY GOD
HE BELIEVED THAT???
child(e)
LMFAAAAOOOO
ARE YOU STUPID?
everything was a joke except the last one
xiao <3
is this the school's secret gay men club or something? what the hell is this??
kaeya
Just because we kiss every once in a while doesn't mean we're gay????
xiao <3
h
what
kaeya
H
😏
Are you homophobic
xiao <3
when did i say that.
i am NOT homophobic 😐
child(e)
okay okay cut this out!
time to give xiao actual advice
(y/n)
ayo what the actual hell is this gc??
alpha males??? you mean alpha virgins 😐😐😐😐
tartaglia childe ajax and whatever other names you have i will physically cause harm to you
child(e)
WTF?????
xiao <3
WHAT THE FUCK?
WHY IS (Y/N) HERE?
DID YOU FUCKING ADD (Y/N)????
child(e)
i swear i didn't notice 😭😭
(y/n)
LMAOOOOOOO XIAO TYPING IN CAPS?
WHAT DID YALL DO
kaeya
We're turning him into an alpha 😈💪
(y/n)
am i one of the boys 🥶😈💯👊 now?
scammer
What is going on...?
(y/n)
zhongli where tf is my mora 😐😐😐😐
it's been over a month 😐
scammer
I thought this was a group chat for alpha males only?
(y/n)
scammers aren't alphas bitch
i want my money zhongli i'm broke and i only eat kid cuisine for dinner
scammer
Childe, I got some of that osmanthus wine.
This shit slaps. 🥶💯 Sheesh.
kaeya
Did you just...
child(e)
ZHONGLI???????
xiao <3
😐
(y/n)
this mf is ignoring me 😐😐
i hope you choke on that osgmdjgjtjss shit
scammer
Ok.
[scammer has kicked you out of the group chat]
≿━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━≾
[xiao <3]
(y/n)
hello mcdonald's worker 🥶🥶💯
xiao <3
what is your point in that statement.
(y/n)
...nothing
why were you trying to learn how to be a degenerate
childe? kaeya?? really xiao? 😐
xiao <3
look i don't even know what they're talking about
i never asked for advice from anyone, and the day i do it won't be from CHILDE.
(y/n)
uh huh
did you know that i put a heart next to your name
<3
xiao <3
ok
and?
(y/n)
😐
at least put a heart next to mine too 🙈
xiao <3
no
(y/n)
fine
well anyway
i want to tell you something
but i kinda already know how you're gonna react
xiao <3
what did you do.
did you eat my almond tofu again? 😐
(y/n)
well
xiao <3
you did 😐
(y/n)
no no i swear
well uhhh 🥶🥶🥶🥶
i may or may have not talked to (ex/n)
xiao <3
what.
(y/n)
ok look he kinda showed up at my house and he politely asked
and i was like idk maybe he changed or something
xiao <3
you said that at least 3 times. did you forget or do i have to remind you?
wait
he showed up at your house❓
what did he do?
why didn't you tell me or anyone else?
(y/n)
ok i know that was stupid but he didn't do anything so...
xiao <3
i am so done with you.
(y/n)
i'm sorry :(((
xiao <3
look
😐
it's fine
(y/n)
xiao <3
😐
this is the beginning of my villain arc
i am not joking.
(y/n)
okay okayyy i'm sorry! seriously 🙄
you've always been in your villain arc xiao
xiao <3
don't change the subject
didn't you say you were over him?
(y/n)
i never said i was completely over him 😏
it just kinda hurt seeing him
xiao <3
when will you learn how to use your brain? it's there for a reason
(y/n)
i didn't come here to get dragged by a 5'2 discord mod
xiao <3
i am so close to blocking you
i'm NOT a discord mod 😐
hu and xiangling probably don't know about this, right? do you want them to knock some sense into you?
(y/n)
oh god no
fine
perhaps i will think before doing anything
xiao <3
please do so.
(y/n)
btw do you like fitness
xiao <3
what is that question
(y/n)
fitness nuts in your mouth lmao lol 😅
[xiao <3 has blocked you]
≿━━━━━━━━༺❀༻━━━━━━━━≾
Hello everyone i would like to announce that i am down astronomically for albedo and that i am now a c1 yanfei haver (no zhongli yet 🙄)
I also have nothing better to do so i wrote this filler and i decided to plan a hu tao x (gn) reader because hu is sexy and i'm glad i'm a hu tao enjoyer 💪
Fellow hu tao enjoyers, i hope you have a nice day 👍
(y/n) is not this stupid i promise