*trigger warning- self harm and reference to suicidal thoughts*
"Guys please, this is not a good idea"
Riley pleaded with the two boys, as JJ pulled a bandana over his face.
"This is war ry. They hit us, we hit back" JJ told the girl.
"Do it pope" he encouraged, and with that pope jumped into the water and swam towards the expensive looking boat that Riley recognised as Toppers. he hopped on board and tampered with something then swam back to heywards boat.
"You did it! You actually did it! I'm so proud of you right now!" JJ congratulated the boy as Pope held up the plug to Toppers boat, the three pogues looked on as toppers boat sank in the water.
"Give me that" JJ said gesturing to the plug in Popes hang, and JJ flung it into the water in the distance.
"Guys. You can't tell anyone about this" pope said looking at the two in front of him. Riley rolled her eyes.
"Yeah no totally dude!" JJ said
"No I'm serious dude not John B not kie not anyone. You Too Riley" he looked at the girl pleadingly. She rolled her eyes again.
"Fine. But that doesn't mean I agree with what y'all did." She turned and went to sit back down on the boat.
"Yeah my lips are sealed" JJ promised "alright let's get out of here!" He said to the two, and with that, the pogues left figure eight and headed back towards the cut.
Pope steered the boat back as JJ went to sit next to Riley.
"Does it hurt?" JJ asked the girl, referring to her injuries.
"A little. But I'm all good" she told the boy, lying slightly.
"And the other thing? Does that hurt?" He asked awkwardly avoiding her eyes.
Riley ignored his question and starred down at the floor.
"Ry talk to me" he pleaded suddenly looking at the girl but she continued to stare at the floor.
"There's nothing to discuss JJ" and with that she stood up and went to stand next to pope as he steered the boat.
* * *
The three pogues arrived back at the cut, and headed straight to John Bs. when they got there there was a note on the fridge.
"Me and kie gone surfing. Join us when you're back , JB"
So with that, the three teens grabbed their surf boards from out the back of John Bs and headed down to the beach where they saw John B and Kie sat chatting on their boards.
"Hey save some waves for us!" JJ shouted at the pair as the three pogues ran to join their friends in the water.
The pogues surfed for what must have been 2 hours straight before the sun started to set and the air dropped colder.
"Hey I'm heading in, I'm froze." Riley shouted to the group.
"Yeah I'm gonna head in Too" JJ told them.
"Alright, we staying out for another half hour?" John B asked kie and pope and they nodded in agreement.
Riley and JJ headed back to the chateau in silence and when they got in, Riley was the first to speak.
"Hey I'm gonna go take a warm shower" she told JJ, still without making eye contact.
"Let me just use the toilet real quick" he told the girl without giving her time to answer.
Riley sat on the sofa waiting for JJ to come out and eventually he did.
Without saying a word she walked into the bathroom, stripped her wet bikini off and stood in front of the mirror. She reached for the cabinet and looked for the razor.
But it wasn't there. She moved everything round, emptying the whole cabinet. What the fuck? And then it hit her.
JJ.
"JJ what the fuck?!" She yelled as she wrapped a towel around her naked body, and storming out the bathroom.
"What?" He asked her looking innocent. He discreetly looked her up and down as she stood there in just a towel.
"You know what. Razor. Now!" She put her hand out.
"I'm not giving it you" he shrugged
"I need to shave!" She lied.
"I know what you need it for. You're not having it" he shrugged again.
"I swear to god JJ Maybank I will murder you and everyone you care about! Give me the fucking razor!" she glared at him with her hand out.
"Fine!" He shouted standing up and putting the razor in her hand. "But just so you know, everyone I care about is everyone you care about too, so good luck killing all your friends!"
"Asshole" she rolled her eyes walking off.
"Bitch!" He yelled after her.
"Dickhead!" She shouted as she slammed the bathroom door.
* * *
Later that evening, Riley went into the spare room, as everyone was outside, and she was cold, so was looking for a hoodie.
"What you doing?" JJ asked as he walked through the door.
"I need a hoodie. I'm cold" Riley told the boy bluntly.
"Here" he said, reaching into the drawers and pulling out one of his own "might be a bit big but it will do"
"Thanks" she said reaching out her hand, fresh cuts showing on her arm. JJ grabbed her hand and starred at her wrist, so she quickly retracted her arm. She tried to walk past JJ but he was too fast, shutting the door, locking it and placing the key out of reach on top of the wardrobe.
"You talk, I let you out" he told the girl as she groaned at him, and slumped down onto the bed as JJ came and sat next to her.
"I need you to talk to me Riley" he told the girl seriously. He stared at her but once again she stared at the floor.
"I don't know what you expect me to say JJ" she said, and she honestly didn't.
"I want you to tell me why" he said, the same concerned expression on his face.
"I can't answer that. It's hard to explain" she said truthfully.
"Try" he pleaded, his voice softer.
Riley took a deep sigh, suddenly pulling herself further onto the bed and crossing her legs. She began playing with her fingers anxiously and turned to face JJ, he looked at the girl, and gave her a reassuring look.
She sighed again
"Okay" she said, taking a deep breath "I started years ago. When my parents died, I felt so alone. It felt like everyone I cared about in the world left. I felt so lonely JJ. So that's why I started, I suppose. And since then it's been a habit I guess, it's kind of addicting" Riley tried to explain "I suppose I like the way it looks. I like the way it feels. It means I can feel something. Something real. I feel so sad all the time, JJ. Not even sad, sads the wrong word. Empty I suppose? Like nothing in the world matters, like I'm standing still and everything is moving around me. Like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and no one can hear me. And I suppose doing this," Riley gestured to her arm "let's me have control of something in my life, it lets me turn this constant feeling in my head into something I can understand." She finally breathed again and looked up to him nervously. JJ was sat listening to every word she said, taking it all in before he finally spoke,
"I had no idea you felt like that Riley, I'm so sorry I never noticed" he sighed.
"It's not your fault J I got good at hiding. There's some days where honestly? I just don't want to be here anymore. It would be so much easier to just give up, see my parents again, feel less alone. Get rid of this constant battle in my head" a few tears finally spilled down Riley's cheeks.
JJ grabbed the girl and pulled her into his chest, stroking her hair as she cried in his arms, finally breaking. Finally letting someone in.
"I'm here for you ry, always. Please talk to me when you're feeling like this. I don't want you to do this alone, I don't want you to feel alone anymore. Because you're not alone. You've never been alone. I'm always and will always be here" he told the girl as he held her.
"I love you Riley".
The two sat like that for another 10 minutes before Riley eventually pulled away, and wiped her face. The two headed outside together to join the others, Riley in JJs hoodie. The rest of the pogues had taken up the hammocks, leaving one free for JJ and Riley to share. The two climbed In and JJ pulled Riley in close to him, cuddling her as tight as he could.
"You really think it's out there? Like no bullshit?" Pope asked, referring to the treasure.
"My father thought it was" John B answered the boy.
"But do you?" Pope asked him
"After hearing his voice on that tape? I think I do" John B answered with a hint of confidence in his voice.
"Only one way to find out" pope said and Riley nodded in agreement.
"Look we're gonna find it you know" kie told the group confidently. "Even JJ believes"
"Oh my god JJ do you really believe?" John B asked, his voice swimming with sarcasm
"Totally" JJ answered "wait are we talking about 4 mil?"
"Four hundred mil" the whole group answered
"Jinx" Riley spoke up, repeating herself from the other night from her spot cuddled up next to JJ.
JJ smiled, thinking how cute she was.
"I'm gonna dream about shipwrecks" JJ said as he snuggled down next to Riley, pulling her in closer. "Goodnight bird!" He shouted across to John B
"Goodnight Birdshit!" John B called back to him.
"Goodnight ry" JJ whispered into Riley's ear, planting a kiss on her temple.
"Goodnight J, and thank you for everything" she whispered back.
"Anything for you" he said before closing his eyes, and the two drifted to sleep in each other's arms.