Then
"No!", a cry was heard from the room.
"You can't do this. You can't do this to her, you can't do this to her!".
Now
Max threw his bag on the bed soon after entering his room. His room was a mess. Papers scattered, clothes dumped, wires and books all over the place. In a corner of the room, were dead flowers with their half-baked funeral.
Julia entered. As usual upset with the room, she started cleaning.
"You should stop cleaning my room", he said.
"For the last time, I don't go through your things. Have you seen this mess? I can't - "
"Leave it!" his voice was deep. "I prefer my things untouched."
"No. You need to organize your room, at least make it habitable for a human! Look at you...what have you done...evidently you have retired from self-care which is not good.
I'm not asking for your help, I will do it."
"Don't. Do not touch my things! How many times do I have to repeat that ?", he realized he was yelling.
He rushed to the balcony.
It was 9, pitch dark outside. They lived a few miles away from the city. Neighbors initially thought they were married. But they weren't. Max was a head chef and Julia worked as an accountant.
The dinner was set. Julia ate quietly without a word. He went and sat next to her. "I just hate when anyone goes through my belongings. You know that. I should not have yelled, like that."
She continued to eat as if no one was there.
"Don't ignore me, Julia, I am the only truth of your life!"
She stopped.
"That's because I am unfortunate.
Are you ever going to tell me who sends you those flowers? Are you ever going to drop the curtain and unfurl yourself to me? Will you ever consider me as anything?
And I am not 'anyone', I am here because of you, because you saved me, because we need each other to survive! We are human beings, Max!
Alright, I would never touch your things.", she stormed out.
Max after her.
The lane was dark and vacant lined with trees. Julia was enraged and restless.
"Julia! Julia! Come home, it's not safe!"
Finally, he caught her, seized her by the wrist. She could listen to his heartbeat, feel his breath on her hair.
His eyes were moist. "I didn't save you to kill you."
The next morning it was raining heavily. Again a parcel.
Max arranged the flowers in a vase.
"Were you married?", asked Julia.
He smirked and denied.
Then
"So, what is your plan now?"
"She will stay with me."
"What? Max, you can't "
"She will be the safest with me. Trust me. No one will know. We will be out of town by tomorrow."
Now
Julia returned early from work surprised to see a letter lying in the doorway. It was addressed to Max. A shiver ran down her spine. She trusted him. She knew he had no acquaintance in the hills.
She hesitated for a second but then opened the letter.
It read:
Beloved Max,
How have you been doing? No letters from you since March. How's Julia? Hope your work is going well. You have always been such a good cook. Take care of yourself and write back.
With love,
Noah.
She couldn't think, couldn't speak, couldn't move. Her head was burning with pain.
It seemed as if a knife was jabbed in her chest. She felt she was soaked in filth, the scent of the flowers made her nauseous.
Max came home late in the evening. The house was dark. Only a lamp in the living room. Julia was nowhere to be seen.
He found her in the garden in the backyard.
Her eyes were moist. Hair untied. She looked exhausted, tired, and done...
"Julia? Are you okay?", he placed his hands on her shoulders.
She was quiet, looked at him in the eyes, she never noticed how deep they were. His dark hair shining in moonlight, face full of concern. Concerned, for her? His hands holding her steadily.
She stepped back.
"Who am I, Max?", her gaze was profuse, intriguing.
"What is my identity? Who are you? Answer me!".
Max was startled. He looked at the sky and turned back. Hands on his hair clutching hard.
"I trusted every bit you said. I trusted you. I used to think, so what if you don't know me, so what if we aren't related, so what if we don't share any equation, you won't ever lie to me, ever betray me...you gave me life Max, now I don't know if that is even true!... Do you know how it feels when you don't even recognize yourself, you don't know yourself...you root for your identity, but you are helpless, every moment you keep thinking, who am I, where do I belong? It keeps eating up your mind and heart. You cannot even trust anyone, because you are oblivious of yourself! You can never know the truth you have to rely, your life is not anymore in your hands... Do you even know how that feels?? "
She was sobbing now. Her heart had exploded, she was hurt once again.
"In that condition, I trusted you...I trusted you, and you gave me life...but I didn't want lies...I wanted a life with truth and only truth. You have finished me, Max - ", she dropped to the ground.
He caught her, her head on his lap.
He held her hands and looked into her eyes - "I am sorry. I am sorry...I am sorry"
"Who is Noah?"
"What?!"
"I didn't go through your personal, beloved things Mr. Chef. I found a letter in the doorway."
He carried her inside.
Then
Max entered her cabin. She was weak and drained.
She spoke "Who am I? Why am I here?"
He calmed her, patted her head. "You had an accident. Your condition was terrible but you are safe now."
"Who are you and what happened to me, I want to go!"
"Please believe me you had an awful accident which has led to your memory loss. I found your id, only the name was readable, you are Julia Smith. Look at me nothing will happen to you. I lost my parents in the same bus accident. You have to live Julia, you have to."
After refusing several times, on the discharge day, Julia agreed to stay with Max. The doctor had assured her. She needed someone to survive and they both were wanderers. Julia was reluctant to trust a stranger, but something within her approved, it assured her, this man was trying to help her.
They settled in the countryside. The place was beautiful.
They weren't lovers or family. They were lone, broken strangers who could find comfort in each other, who could understand each other, who needed each other to sustain in this world.
Now
Max placed her on the bed like a precious stone.
He was about to leave the room when he heard, "Coward! So what have you planned? To smell me or sell me?"
Max was furious. He went to her seized her by her cloth, "You are alive because of me, you can yell with your pitch high because of me, you can inhale because of me, you can feel because of me!". He ceased the hold and breathed out. "You might hate me after this, you might also think I'm mad, you might want to leave and never wish to see me again. It's okay you are free to go."
"You were 20 yrs old. I used to stay in a rented apartment above your house. We knew each other. No, we weren't that close, but I wanted to be your friend. One day I heard something, a loud crash. I went down, your father seizing you by your hair was whipping you. It scared the living lights out of me. Every day he used to beat you. Your screams throbbed in my ears. And after a month, I was returning from work, I again heard your scream, I gave up and went inside.", his voice cracked, he was trembling. "I went inside and discovered you were being raped by him...", he went numb, he didn't know how to look at her. He couldn't. She was sitting on the bed, motionless, stupefied. Clutching the bedsheets, she tried to speak but her voice won't come out. A blur image popped in her mind of she crying, begging, being flogged. Blood all over the floor, sheets. She was nauseous again.
"You were weeping, twitching throwing out your hands and legs like a baby. That man had beaten you so much you didn't even have the strength to fight or protest. You were bleeding staggeringly.
I couldn't keep calm and banged the man on his head with a brick. Yes, I killed him and I would kill anyone who would do that to you!"
Julia couldn't imagine what she heard.
"I hid the body, you were senseless. You stayed with me upstairs. Like God wasn't enough cruel to you, you were pregnant. You came to know after few weeks. You weren't mentally stable then, but when you heard about the baby, it was the first time I saw hope in your eyes.
Me and my best friend Noah took care of you. We were so happy. Many people assumed many things. After two months, suddenly you started bleeding from your vagina, you were squirming in pain. You were miserable. When we took you to the doctor, it was found you had a miscarriage."
Julia's hand went right up on her belly. She grabbed it and wailed. Her voice stopped at the throat, it couldn't come out.
"Your condition was deadly. You couldn't be saved, you had given up on life. That's when I decided to give you a life, a new life, a meaningful life. You didn't deserve all that, you're a beautiful soul, you deserve the best and I will give you the best!!
It was my plan to wipe out your memory. Noah is a neurologist. He had helped me a lot. I did not want you to remember any of the awful things. Noah had refused, but I didn't listen. I wanted to see you happy at any cost. So I made up the accident story and brought you here."
Silence followed.
"Just in case you think I'm lying", he threw some letters beside her. They were from Noah. And there were pictures of the three of them too. "Noah sends me those flowers as a symbol of friendship."
He went out of her room.
Julia hadn't slept all night. Neither did Max.
The flowers arrived. It was Julia who took them and decorated the vase. "Are you okay?", he asked.
She nodded and served him breakfast.
She looked up, stared for a moment. "Why did you do all these for me, Max? Why?"
Max was quiet. She stood up, "You almost gave up everything for me, and still you never eased yourself, why?"
"Because I didn't want you to fall in love with me. I'm a murderer Julia, I'm a sinner. I killed your father, I took away your memories, I'm a sinner!"
Julia grabbed him. "Look at me, look, for me... you killed for me, you breathed for me, and I for you. You saved me, Max, you brought me back from death, you gave me a life, the best I could ever imagine!." Instinctively, she was cupping his face.
"I love you...", she breathed.
Tears rolled down his face. As if time had stopped, his lips met hers like maelstrom pulling you in until all gravity is lost under his touch.